Straight No Chaser- The Beginning

by Devin Nishea

  “Well, I’m sorry. But, what happened to the plan you told me about? Staying away from him and not putting yourself in that position,” she asked.

  “Hold up, Lucy Pearl. It was YOU that said, on more than one occasion, might I add, you never know he could be the one; let your guard down; stop being so hard on men,” I reminded her.

  Amy had a look on her face like ‘oh yeah, I did say that.’

  “Okay. I’m sorry, but I didn’t think you’d spend the night with the man, girl,” she said. “Look, sorry for yelling.”

  “I feel bad enough about it. But, he obviously caught me at a vulnerable moment. It’s like the envelope was closed, but he kept prying at it and when he pried it open just enough, you know the rest,” I said.

  “Ok, well, we’re not going to beat ourselves up over it. We’ll rebound from this and keep things moving forward. No more Isaiah. Right?” she asked.

  “I’m not planning on anything else happening. I just need to work overtime now for it not to happen. Meaning, try and avoid him at all costs,” I said.

  “Well, I didn’t ask. But, how did this come about anyway?” she asked.

  I completely forgot to give her the backstory.

  “Yeah, I didn’t tell you that, did I? Well, one Friday after work, I went to Happy Hour at this bar by myself and he happened to be there and I had one too many whiskey’s and was in no condition to drive. So, after dinner, we went for ice cream and he drove me home. He walked me to the door and we kissed. Nothing happened that night. Fast-forward, a couple of weeks later, one Saturday afternoon, I was here working on the project and he stopped by. We were talking and the next thing I know…well, you know,” I explained.

  “Wow. Well, I gotta ask. Was it worth it?” she asked.

  I smiled and shook my head.

  “Girl, it was pretty darn good,” I said. But, he’s married and I can’t go down this road with him or anyone else for that matter. I feel like the poster girl for sluts-are-us!” I said.

  Amy laughed.

  “Girl, I’m serious. Ugh,” I said. How could I let this happen? I shouldn’t be left unattended right now.”

  “Well, like I said, don’t beat yourself up about it. He caught you on an off day. Just don’t let it happen again,” she said sternly.

  “You don’t have to worry about that one,” I told her. Okay, enough about my crazy past couple of weeks. Let’s talk about this trip you went on! I want to know everything.”

  Amy was grinning from ear to ear.

  “Girl, this was the best trip of my LIFE!” she exclaimed. The first couple of days we were there, we stayed in the room the entire day, ordered room service, drank and watched movies all day. It was lovely. I didn’t realize how tired I actually was. The rest of the time we were there, we laid on the beach, went zip-lining one day, walked on the beach at sunset. And…we had a picnic on the beach one night,” she said smiling.

  “Why would you have a picnic at night?” I asked.

  Amy tilted her head and gave me her famous blank stare.

  “Why are you looking at me like tha…ooooh, you had a ‘picnic’ I get it now!” I said laughing at myself.

  “You are so slow sometimes, I swear!” Amy said shaking her head at me and laughing.

  I looked down and saw we devoured the pizza and wine. I got up to open the bottle she brought over. I was still hungry.

  I yelled from the kitchen, “Hey, do you want chips and salsa!?”

  “Sure! Bring it on!” Amy said. Grab another bottle of wine while you’re in there!”

  I grabbed everything in my arms and came back out to the living room.

  “You need some help?” Amy asked.

  “Nope, I got it, BUT you can take the wine.” I told her. So has there been any more marriage talk? Please don’t tell me you got married while you were there.”

  “Girl, no! I would’ve led with that news! We are still looking at rings, and I’m trying to stay cool,” she said.

  “I am so excited for you, girl. What do your parents think about him?” I asked.

  “They love him! My dad especially loves him because he’s a hard worker. My mom loves him because he’s so handsome and treats me like a man should,” Amy said.

  “Even better when the parentals love him,” I said. So whenever I get a consistent man in my life maybe we can double date.”

  “That would be great. I don’t think you’ve seen him since that night we first met,” she said.

  “Nope. Sure haven’t. Just so he treats you well, which sounds like he is, he’s good in my book,” I said.

  “Awe, thanks girl,…that means a lot to me. He really is God-sent. Just when I was about to give up, he came into my life,” she said.

  As Amy was talking about her man, I couldn’t help but thin—when was it going to be my turn for the happiness she was experiencing? I couldn’t wait, but I didn’t want to rush it, either.

  “Girl, you do know you’re not going home tonight, right?” I asked Amy.

  “Why not,” she asked.

  “This is our second bottle. I’m not letting you drive home, so you can park it in the guest room tonight. Thanks,” I said.

  Amy looked at the bottles and thought for a second.

  “Yeah, well, I guess you’re right,” she said laughing.

  “That just means we can do brunch tomorrow,” I said.

  Any excuse for me to eat!

  “Deal…” she said.

  We talked into the night. When we were tired of talking we watched a movie and eventually drifted off to sleep on the couch. This was a night well-spent.

  Chapter 26

  I slid against the wall, down to the floor. I couldn’t believe it. As I sat on the floor, I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I sat there for, I know, three hours; or it felt like three hours. I couldn’t move…like, at all!

  After denying it for three months, there I was on the floor in my bathroom holding a pregnancy test. I took the test four different times, and they all said the same thing.

  “Positive,” I whispered to myself. This has got to be wrong! I can’t be pregnant. Not now. Hell, not ever!!”

  I mustered up strength from somewhere, got off the floor and walked into my bedroom and sat on the bed. I still had the test in my hands. When I sat down I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. I began to cry—uncontrollably.

  I could not believe this. This is what going with the flow gets you…in trouble! Oh, my gosh, now I have to call Isaiah and tell him. It had been a week since we’d seen each other and I had just spoken with him last night. I cannot believe this!

  I went to pick up the phone to call Amy, but I couldn’t find it in me to dial her number. I put my phone down. I needed to call Isaiah, but I knew he was working on a project for work and was busy.

  Okay, Zen, now you’re just making excuses not to call and let him know. Yes, he’s separated from his wife, but he’s still married with his own kids with her! This is a dream. I know it. I sat on my bed honestly waiting to wake up from this nightmare. Sounds crazy, I know, but I couldn’t be reading this test correctly!

  POSITIVE!!! As in, you’re going to be a mama in six months!

  “I’m not ready to be anybody’s mother!” I said out loud.

  I fell back on the bed and screamed. I stopped because I didn’t want my neighbors thinking I was being attacked. I sat back up on the bed and walked into the kitchen. I was looking for alcohol and I needed something hard. This information deserved a glass of whiskey.

  I carried the bottle with me as I sat at the kitchen table. I sat in the dark contemplating on what to do and how to digest this news I didn’t want to read on that stick.

  Should I keep it? Should I keep it and give the baby up for adoption? Should I get rid of it? My head was swirling and I started crying, again. I’m a single woman, with no man and I’m pregnant. Good going, Zen!

  It had been about 3 months so, whatever I decided I needed to decide, like today.

&nb
sp; Isaiah needed to know, but how would I tell him this. This was just supposed to be something casual every now and again. No strings attached. Well, this string is going to be attached for the next 18 years!!! Oh, Lord!

  Everybody’s going to flip when I tell them the news if I decide to keep it. I’m an adult, yes, but mama is going to kill me. This is not how I pictured my life, having my family live in different households.

  I left work early today because my head was killing me. How am I going to act when I get back tomorrow? Oh my goodness, is my being pregnant going to affect my job? I just got this promotion!

  I poured more whiskey in the glass, then I realized—I CAN’T DRINK!!! I got up from the table and poured what was in my glass down the drain. See, I don’t need a kid forgetting simple stuff like that!

  I looked at my cell phone again and picked it up to call Amy.

  “Amy, hey, girl. I need you to come over. NOW.” I demanded. I didn’t wait for a response, I hung up on her.

  I don’t know what I interrupted, but it seemed like she was at my house three seconds after we got off the phone. As I was walking into the living room, the doorbell rang.

  “What is so important I had to rush over here? Are you okay?” she asked.

  I showed her the pregnancy test that was in my hand. Amy looked at it and saw that it read positive. There was a few moments of dead air. She walked over to the couch and plopped down.

  “Sweetie. Are you okay? Come sit down.” she said.

  “Want a drink? Because I’m not supposed to,” I said.

  “Zen, baby, I’ll get it. Yes, where’s that whiskey?” she yelled as she walked into the kitchen.

  “It’s on the kitchen table,” I said.

  “Were you drinking this?” she asked.

  “Yep, then I realized. I can’t drink so I poured it down the drain,” I said.

  “Okay. How long have you known?” she asked.

  “Thirty minutes ago,” I said with tears in my eyes.

  Amy hugged me tight. I loved her hugs. It was just what I needed.

  “Amy, I can’t have this baby! I’m not old enough yet. I don’t have all of my stuff together. I can hardly take care of myself, now I’m carrying a little life that will depend on me for everything. I can’t do this,” I said.

  Amy let me get everything out. I’m not sure how she understood what I said through all of my crying and snotting all over her lap. She’s a good friend.

  “Lucy Pearl, are you finished?” she asked and started laughing.

  That was my nickname for her. I’m glad she was trying to make me laugh, because I needed it.

  “It’s Isaiah’s?” she asked.

  I looked at her shocked.

  “Girl, you know I don’t do anything casual like that with everybody. Yes, it’s his. He’s the only person I’ve been with since me and Jake broke up.” I replied.

  “Does he know yet?” she asked.

  “Not yet,” I said.

  “Well, do you plan on telling him?” she asked.

  I paused. Evidently, longer than she wanted me to pause.

  “Miss girl, when are you planning on telling him!?” she yelled.

  “I’m going to tell him! Can I freak out first, digest this information, THEN tell him? I know he’s going to freak out. But, do I have to tell him if I decide not to keep it?” I asked.

  Amy cut her eye at me.

  “Alright! I’ll tell him, regardless.”

  “What do you mean regardless? Regardless of what?” she said.

  “IF I keep the baby.”

  “Zen,” she gasped. She looked so hurt when I said that.

  “I’m sorry Amy. I never thought I’d be in this situation. Please forgive me!! I’m scared to death! I just found out I’m pregnant by a man I’m not even in a relationship with!” I yelled.

  “Okay, okay. Let us both calm down,” she said. “I don’t even know what to say. I’m speechless.”

  “Yep, me too. Well, I need to call my doctor and make an appointment just to make sure it’s 100% true, that I’m pregnant,” I said reluctantly.

  Amy and I sat in the living room talking and sitting in silence. We sat a majority of the time in silence. I couldn’t cry any more.

  I glanced at the time and saw it was 8:00 pm. Amy looked at her cell phone as well.

  “Oh, gosh! I forgot I was supposed to meet David for dinner tonight,” she said.

  “Girl, go be with your man. I’ve held you up long enough. Thanks for dropping everything to be with me. I’m sorry for being so needy.” I said.

  “Girl, no worries. We all have our days,” she said.

  “Yeah, well, I guess I’ll be needy for the next six months. Thanks again,” I said.

  I walked her to the door and she hugged me again before leaving.

  I walked back over to the couch. As soon as I plopped down, my phone rang. I glanced down to see who it was. I was prepared to send whomever to voicemail. Then my heart stopped. It was Isaiah.

  Before I thought about it, I answered the phone.

  “Hello?” I said

  “Hey how are you?” he asked.

  “Umm, I’m okay. How are you?” I asked.

  “I’m doing great now that I hear your voice. I called you at work today, but Sarah said you left early. You sick?” he asked.

  “Yeah, something like that,” I responded.

  “You don’t sound like yourself, you want me to come over?” he asked.

  “No, no I’ve actually been in bed since I got home. I may be contagious and I don’t want to get you sick,” I said.

  “Oh okay” he said. He sounded like he didn’t believe a word I just told him.

  “Okay, well, I’ll let you get some rest, pretty lady.”

  “Okay. Oh, and thanks for checking on me,” I said.

  I picked up the remote to surf through the channels. Nothing was on that would keep my mind off my news. Then my doorbell rang.

  “You have got to be kidding me,” I said out loud.

  I looked through the peephole. I opened the door.

  “Isaiah, can you please stop coming by without calling first?” I demanded.

  “Technically, I did call,” he said smiling. But, I didn’t believe you when you said nothing was wrong and it appears I was right.”

  “Yeah, but I’m fine,” I told him.

  “Are you going to invite me in?” he asked.

  I opened the door a little wider so he could pass me. He headed over to the couch.

  “Would you like something to drink?” I asked.

  “Nah, I’m good. I told you I came to check on you,” he said.

  I forgot I had the test on the coffee table and my heart began to race. My eyes began to wonder around the room.

  “What is wrong with you tonight?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” I said. I still don’t feel that great.”

  “Okay,” he said.

  There was a moment of silence.

  “Zen, what is this?” I heard Isaiah ask.

  “What’s what?” I replied.

  What I didn’t want to happen, happened. He did see the test and I was not ready to have this conversation with him.

  When I looked at him he was pointing at the test on the coffee table. I closed my eyes and opened them again.

  “Um so about that. I’m pregnant,” I said reluctantly.

  I felt my eyes fill with water. He was silent. He sat there looking at the test.

  “How? I mean, I know how, but we were careful?” he said.

  “Obviously, not that careful. I thought you had strapped up?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “Well, it must have broken or something,” I said.

  “When did you notice you were late?” he asked.

  “I don’t know, sometime last month? I’ve been so stressed with work I lost track,” I explained.

  “Okay, so, you’re sure the baby’s mine?” he asked.

  “Dude, I can’t b
elieve you’re asking me this? I don’t hop beds. I can’t believe you’re asking me this!” I yelled. But, to ease YOUR mind, YES, it’s yours.”

  He didn’t say anything; he collapsed back on the couch and covered his eyes with his hands.

  “This is not good. This is not good,” He kept repeating to himself.

  “Yeah, well, I agree,” I said.

  “So, what are you going to do?” he asked.

  My eyes pierced him. I felt myself getting more and more upset.

  “What do you mean, what am I going to do? This is our decision. So what, you want to me to get rid of it or something?” I asked.

  He looked at me silently.

  “Get out! Get out now!” I demanded.

  Isaiah got up and walked towards the door.

  “Zen, I…” he said.

  I cut him off mid-sentence because I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say at this point.

  “I don’t want to hear it! Get out!! NOW!” I yelled.

  I slammed the door behind him.

  I cried myself to sleep that night.

  Chapter 27

  “Hey, when’s your next doctor’s appointment?” Jake asked.

  “Umm, it’s next Thursday afternoon actually, why what’s up?” I asked.

  “Did you want me to go with you?” he asked.

  “Really? Wow, I’m surprised you’d want to,” I said.

  “Well, I want to be there for you Zen. I told you a couple of months ago if you needed anything I’d be here for you,” he responded.

  Jake had actually been amazing through this entire thing. When I decided to keep the baby and told Isaiah, he flipped out. Come to find out, he was separated, but he and his wife were now talking about reconciling, which he never told me about. The lady friend I saw him out and about with—I found out that was his wife. She had come to visit without the kids to get a feel for the city, because she was thinking about relocating.

  When I told Jake I was pregnant, he said it hurt him but he’d be by my side if I needed and wanted him. That he has been, helping me around the house, helping shop for the baby; he’s been great! I never would’ve thought…

  Now, five months pregnant, Isaiah was not really in the picture. As far as I was concerned, that was fine with me. This baby was already loved. I had no business messing with him anyway. After each doctor’s appointment I would sometimes send him a text letting him know the progress.