by Skye Horn
“Make them go away,” he grumbled as Thea’s head plopped down against his shoulder. Her arm tingled with sleep beneath her and her legs entangled with Adrian’s beneath the blankets. While she’d been quite comfortable the night before, she now felt the consequences of two people sleeping on such a small bed together.
“Get your ass out of bed!” Haven called from beyond the door, banging so hard that it shook. Thea frowned at the anxiety in her voice but was still half-asleep, enough to try and steal the pillow back from Adrian.
“You make her go away,” Thea grumbled, shutting her eyes to the light as she nuzzled her head back against Adrian’s chest. Despite her aching limbs, it looked too early to get out of bed yet, and Haven would have to wait.
“I’m going to break this door down if you do not open the door, Adrian,” the warning rang loud and clear as the pounding on the wood stopped. Adrian’s chest lifted and fell in a deep sigh that told Thea he was going to get up, and she pushed her bottom lip out into a pout as he disentangled himself from her.
As the warmth of his body slipped out of the bed, Thea pulled the blanket over her head, disappearing from the light completely. “It’s your funeral,” she mumbled.
Adrian, who still wore the same clothes from yesterday, but had hair sticking up in all different directions, didn’t respond to her. Instead, she heard his footsteps nearing the door as he said, “I’m coming, Haven.”
Thea’s half-sleeping state registered that the door was opening and closing again, but didn’t fully become aware of the situation until Haven literally sat on her legs.
“I’m going to kill you both. Do you know how worried I was that something happened to her?” she said, voice dropping so low that Thea almost missed what she said.
Haven tugged the blanket away from Thea’s face. “I thought you ran off after our conversation, or worse!”
“Well, I’m fine. Now, can I go back to sleep?” Thea frowned at her friend, hating the worry she’d caused but also not ready to talk about how she’d ended up in Adrian’s bed. Of course, nothing had happened, but that didn’t change the consequences that Thea wasn’t ready to face.
“Will you give us a moment?” Thea heard Haven ask Adrian.
“This is my room,” he responded, but whatever look Haven gave him in that moment must have been enough to change his mind because a second later he sighed. “Fine. I should clean up before the day begins anyway.”
“That, you should. You smell like day-old musk. I’m not sure how she even slept in this bed.”
At that, Thea opened her eyes in surprise and saw Adrian glaring at Haven. After a short round of awkward silent stares, he looked toward Thea and his face softened.
“I hope it helped,” was all he said before he grabbed some clothes and disappeared out of the room, presumably to bathe away the smell that Thea hadn’t noticed.
“He hopes what helped, exactly?” Haven asked, lifting an eyebrow at Thea. “What did you two do?”
Thea groaned and pulled the blanket back over her head, wanting to go back to sleep, but she knew with Adrian gone that sleep would likely not be as peaceful. Even twisted onto his tiny bed, she’d felt safe for a few hours. That was something she hadn’t felt in months.
“Thea!” Haven’s warning was clear, but Thea’s temper was the one rising.
“I’m not a child. I don’t need to be scolded for staying in a boy’s room.”
Haven glowered. “Adrian is not just a boy. He’s a soldier in an army that would love to take over your kingdom, and you are a queen.”
“He isn’t going to hurt me,” Thea argued. “And for your information, nothing happened. I came here because I didn’t want to be alone.”
“You could have woken me!”
“And had you coddle me some more? Haven, you are a fantastic guard and an even better friend, but lately, you’ve been keeping me as sheltered as a day-old chick. I’m not that breakable.”
“So this is how you rebel? By making me wake up terrified that you’re gone, or worse, dead?”
Haven stood from the bed, looking hurt as she headed for the door. “Sorry that I even cared to make sure you were alive.”
Thea sat up frowning. “Haven, come back.”
But it was too late. The bedroom door slammed shut and Thea was alone with herself and her guilt. She knew Haven had meant well. In fact, it had been selfish of her not to at least leave a note for her friend, but part of her just needed to be independent again. Since she’d arrived in Faerie, nearly every decision she’d made had been dictated by someone else. Yesterday had been the first time Thea had made a decision on her own, and despite the decision to see Kieran alone being a decidedly bad one, the decision to stay with Adrian hadn’t been. She’d gotten her first real night’s rest in months, and something else had happened between her and Adrian, something Thea couldn’t quite wrap her mind around.
She knew they were friends, but it felt like more than that. Not quite lovers—she wouldn’t go as far as to say that—but something about the way he’d taken care of her made her breath catch and her heart race. She liked the safety she felt with him, even if it was just for a few hours of sleep.
When the door reopened, Thea looked up startled, expecting to see Haven’s return, but it was Adrian.
“I thought you were going to bathe,” Thea said quietly.
“I lied.” He came to sit on the bed beside her and she tucked her feet underneath herself. “Unless you think I smell bad too. Then maybe I should listen.”
At this, Thea smiled a little. “No, I don’t think you smell bad.”
Adrian grinned, but it didn’t last long as he studied her expression.
“Why does everyone feel the need to control me?” Thea asked, unable to meet his eyes any longer. She focused instead on her bitten fingernails; they were hardly ever beautiful anymore. “I know Haven means to protect me, but why do they believe I can’t make decisions for myself?”
“It’s not that,” Adrian said. His hand found her face, and he gently lifted her gaze to meet his, seeming to hesitate over whether or not he should say what was on his mind.
“Just tell me!”
“It’s just something Haven said to me once,” he explained. His brows furrowed as if trying to remember exactly what she’d said. “She said that your child might be the only thing that keeps you going when all of this is over. I think she’s scared that if you lose it, she’ll lose you.”
Thea frowned, blinking back tears. She remembered how horrified Haven had been when she’d assumed Thea was trying to kill herself, and again when the soul bond had been broken. Haven had held her until her magic diffused, protecting her from herself. In fact, she’d probably been the only reason Thea hadn’t ended her own life right then and there. It was possible Haven knew the darkness that lurked beneath Thea’s skin. The temptation to escape the pain that she felt day in and day out.
But she was right. The child kept her going, and if she lost the baby, she didn’t know what she would do.
“She’s right, isn’t she?” Adrian said as the silence stretched on. “You’ve thought about it before.”
Thea lowered her eyes, unable to meet his gaze any longer, but instead of being angry, he pulled her against his chest and kissed the top of her head in the same way he’d done the night before.
“That would be a tragedy,” he whispered. “I hope you know that.”
Thea couldn’t answer, but she nodded her head. She’d never thought of herself as someone who could end her own life, but in the past few months, living had gotten harder to do. When the soul bond had snapped away, she’d thought there was nothing left for her. She couldn’t see past the pain of losing Kieran, nor the pain of Ethel’s death.
She didn’t want to die, but living hurt. That was why this baby was a miracle. It took away a little bit of that hurt. Just like the night in Adrian’s bed had.
There hadn’t needed to be lust or passion between them. Thea had just want
ed to lay in the arms of someone she knew would keep her safe. Now, she saw the pain that her admittance brought him, but he still didn’t run from her. Instead, he held her until her tears stopped, never forcing her to talk.
After a while, though, she knew what needed to be done. “I need to find Haven.”
Adrian pulled back to look at her and nodded.
“Let’s go, then,” he said without hesitation, pulling her off the bed.
Thea let him keep her hand, not sure if she was ready to let it go yet.
“Thea?” Adrian inclined his head toward her just before he opened the door.
“What?”
“You’d tell me if I smelled bad, right?” His eyes were serious, but a giggle bubbled out of Thea’s chest, sounding cracked by her earlier crying.
“I’d drag you to the bathing chamber myself,” she teased, and then they headed out the door to find Haven.
It was no surprise to Adrian to find Haven in the weapons room, attacking a training dummy who likely never stood a chance. He winced as she beat the lifeless form mercilessly with a staff, and reminded himself never to get on her bad side.
“You should probably wait outside,” Thea whispered, eyes wide as she watched Haven. It was early enough in the morning that no one else was around, but Adrian still didn’t like the idea of leaving Thea alone in a room full of weaponry.
“I’ll be right here,” he said, knowing better than to argue, and taking a place out in the corridor to wait.
As the door shut, he leaned back against the wall with a sigh. Even with the discomfort of having two individuals on such a small bed, last night had been one of the best nights of sleep he’d had in years. Adrian kicked a leg up against the wall, balancing as he waited for Thea to come out. He knew that whatever he was getting himself into, it couldn’t end well, but what more was there to say about his life? He was going to war. They all were. What harm could come from finding even a moment of happiness in the darkness surrounding them?
He thought of Kieran locked away in his cell not far from them. Thea believed he could be saved, and if they saved him, Adrian would be the one who got hurt, but wasn’t it worth it to feel something for once in his life rather than to remain alone?
I wish too sometimes, she’d said, but Adrian wasn’t sure exactly what that meant. It could mean that she wished their lives were easier. Didn’t they all? Or it could mean that she wished whatever was happening between them wouldn’t end in heartache. He definitely agreed with her if that was the case. He could see nowhere good that this could lead, and yet, he’d still asked her to stay when she’d been ready to leave—been ready to let him off the hook easily.
After trying so hard to hate her, it was hard to think that they’d spent an entire night without bickering. She’d even smiled and laughed. How could he just let that go when it made him feel so amazing inside?
Adrian chewed on his bottom lip while he waited, wondering just how much trouble he was getting himself into and what would happen next. There were more important things to worry about than the feelings Thea had stirred up in him by staying the night. A war was coming and so was Thea’s baby. If they didn’t find a way to keep them both safe, then she would have no choice but to confront Ainé.
He wanted to question Kieran again, to try and find a way to get through to him. If what Thea had said was true, then perhaps there was hope for him after all. Although he selfishly prayed that wouldn’t change whatever feelings Thea might be developing for him, he knew it would.
In the meantime, though, he’d need to trust Thea, and that was something he wasn’t sure how to do completely. Of course, he’d trusted Caden since they were teenagers, but Thea and Caden were different. How was he going to protect her and also let her do whatever the hell she wanted in the process?
Chapter 24
As soon as Thea entered the weapons room, Haven tossed her a staff. She caught it easily, testing the sanded wood’s feel against the palm of her hand.
“If you’re here, it’d better be to spar,” Haven said, panting as she smacked the training dummy again with her own staff. Her precision was perfect. Thea knew it would have knocked any actual opponent to their knees.
“I wanted to say—”
Haven’s piercing glare silenced Thea’s apology.
“Fine.” Thea sighed and stepped in front of the dummy. “If you want to be that way, let’s go.”
A smirk pulled at the corner of Haven’s lips and she lunged at Thea without hesitation. She wasn’t holding back, so Thea thrust her staff upward to block the impact, stumbling a few steps at the power behind the blow.
A hiss of breath escaped her lips.
She pressed the soles of her feet harder into the ground, centering her stance to block the second blow that Haven was throwing toward her.
“Still angry?” Thea gasped out, barely managing to keep herself from toppling backwards. She watched as Haven shifted her own stance and went to strike at her exposed side. She wasn’t quick enough, though. Thea tightened her grip on her staff to block the attack and countered, knocking Haven in the chest.
A shadow fell across Haven’s face.
Shit, Thea thought and jumped high off the ground as Haven’s staff swept toward her feet. The blow would have knocked her to the ground, but Thea regained her balance quickly and glared at Haven. “Is this really necessary?”
“You wanted to train,” Haven said and took a step forward with her right foot, feigning left with the staff. Thea dodged and swept her own weapon toward Haven, managing to knock at the back of her thighs. She stumbled forward, but kept her balance enough to hit Thea in the upper arm.
Pain reverberated through Thea’s right side, but she pushed it away and stomped one foot into the ground, sending a single pulse of magic into the stone floor. Haven cursed as she lost her balance and threw her staff to the ground with a loud clunk. Her wings stretched wide, flapping twice to lift herself into the air. She moved toward Thea at lightning speed, but Thea ducked, tucking her wings, and rolled across the floor. The shaking immediately ceased as she sprawled out on her back, placing the wooden staff between herself and Haven when she dove again.
Thea pressed the soles of her feet into the air and kicked hard as Haven neared, making contact with the girl’s abdomen.
“I don’t want to fight with you, Haven!” Thea gasped. Red spots clouded her vision.
She heard the door open, but didn’t dare take her eyes off her opponent. Obviously Haven had some pent-up anger to let out, and the Goddesses knew that Thea did too.
Thea pushed onto her knees, trying to catch her breath as Haven stalked the other side of the room, picking up her staff.
“Again,” she said to Thea, just as Adrian strode between them.
“I think that’s enough,” he said, staring at them both in disbelief. “Is this how you two work through your problems?”
Thea and Haven’s glares were in sync, and he held up his hands. “I’m just saying. We have more important things to deal with.”
“Then maybe you should have thought of that before you let me worry all night about her,” Haven snapped.
“I’m sorry, Haven,” Thea said. “It’s not his fault.”
“I know that,” she glared, but something deflated in her eyes and she dropped the staff to her feet with a loud clunk. “You’re my friend. You’re the one who should have cared enough to tell me.”
The lump in Thea’s throat bobbed as she swallowed her shame. Haven was right. She’d been selfish, even if she hadn’t had any ill intentions, but the most she could do now was apologize.
“I didn’t mean to worry you,” Thea said, standing and holding her hands up in surrender. She left her staff on the ground and took a step toward her friend. “I really don’t want to fight you, and I am sorry.”
Haven looked uncomfortable, but nowhere near as uncomfortable as Adrian.
Thea moved around him and held out her arm to Haven. “We’re a team.”
/> Haven gripped her forearm and nodded before pulling her into a hug. “Sorry I beat you up with a stick,” she mumbled, and Thea’s body shook with laughter.
“I’ll let that go because I love you, but for the record—”
“Thea,” Adrian warned, but there was laughter in his voice. She turned her head to look at him and gave him a warm smile.
“Fine,” she said, and pulled away from Haven. “I forgive you for beating me up with a stick.”
“Great. Now that you two are acting like civilized individuals again…” He eyed the bruise already forming on Thea’s pale skin. Haven’s tan had not yet faded from their time in Gimmerwich, so Thea imagined her bruises would not show nearly as quickly. She unrolled her sleeves, letting them fall over the bruises until Adrian’s eyes looked away. “…Can we get breakfast? I’m starving.”
“You two go ahead,” Thea said nervously. “I want to find Morrigan.”
At this, both sets of eyes turned on her and she could sense the argument about to ensue. There was no reason for them to worry. She intended to ask Morrigan about a weapon in the most innocent way conceivable, but still, their gazes were filled with distrust. She knew it wasn’t toward her, but she crossed her arms anyway, ready to fight them both about it.
“Do I need to pull the queen card?” Thea asked, looking between Haven and Adrian.
“Do I need to remind you you’re in an enemy kingdom?” Adrian responded immediately. “Plus, Morrigan isn’t even in the castle today.”
“How do you know that?” Thea asked, frowning. She’d been here for weeks and Morrigan had never left. Why would she leave now? And after all that talk about needing Thea, why would she leave without her?
“She sent a messenger yesterday. And before you ask, I have no idea where she’s gone.” Adrian rubbed the back of his neck.
“Then what do you suggest?” Thea asked as Haven picked up both staffs from the ground, wandering away from Adrian and Thea’s brewing argument. “I’m here to find a way to stop Ainé, and we’ve had no luck finding out what her plans are from Kieran.”