Victima

by K R Leikvoll

  It was interrupted by Kirin's hand waving furiously in front of my face. "Valentine! Wake up!" he said sharply, shaking my shoulders.

  "Huh?" I mumbled, looking back at him in a daze.

  He let out a sigh of relief. "Can you hear me?" he asked, intensely studying my eyes.

  I numbly held his hand against my face. "Yes," I whispered.

  Noises from the crowd marching on the dirt path sounded nearby. He dusted off my clothes and ran his fingers through my hair to tame it. I silently watched him pull out a flask and pour water into his hands. He used it to wipe away the residual blood I could feel dried all over my skin.

  "Do you think you feel well enough to go back?" Kirin asked with a straight face.

  I gradually put weight on my feet and stood alone. I was as light as a feather. A gust of wind would threaten to blow me away. "Yes," I repeated, still in a daze.

  He nodded in confirmation and grabbed my hand. We made our way back to the marching crowd. I'm sure they could all tell I wasn't necessarily in my own body. I walked closely behind Kirin, weaving our way between the soldiers. It could've taken an hour to reach our spot or minutes; I wasn't really aware of how much time was passing.

  Arubai noticed us approaching and hopped off his katoma while everyone moved around us. He blocked our path with a concerned look on his face. With accusing eyes, he studied Kirin before turning his attention entirely to me. Kirin dropped my hand and took a step away.

  "Are you alright, Divinus? We were quite worried," Arubai said, crossing his arms.

  "I'm fine," I replied barely above a whisper. "Just needed to... commune."

  He smiled flashing stupidly white teeth and brushed his scarlet hair over his shoulder in an attempt to be fabulous. "Understandable. The light does what the light wants," he said graciously. We walked altogether to my katoma where I weakly struggled to climb up. Arubai turned his back sharply toward Kirin, cutting off whatever he was trying to say to me. He took my hand and helped me get seated with a glimmer of flirtation in his eyes. Even high as hell I knew that was a mistake on his part.

  Kirin overreacted, though. "Don't you ever touch her!" he yelled, shoving Arubai to the side.

  Everyone, Arturio, Mortos, Ronen, the council, everyone, turned and looked at us curiously.

  "Maundrell, do you have a problem?" Arubai replied irritated with his hand on his sword hilt.

  "Do it. I dare you," Kirin hissed in response.

  "You think I won't cut you where you stand, demon?" Arubai asked furiously with slight fear in his eyes.

  "Kirin, dude... calm down," I grumbled.

  "You wouldn't live long enough to draw your weapon," Kirin taunted, moving closer to him.

  "Kirin!" I yelled angrily.

  "You think you can threaten me?" Arubai asked in disbelief.

  "Would you both shut up!" I said with all the energy I had in the brief silence they gave me.

  Mortos rushed over and grabbed Kirin's cloak. "Let's get you a drink," he said, pulling him away.

  Kirin fought it for a second before noticing my scolding gaze. He ripped his cloak from Mortos' hands but followed him regardless.

  Even though there was a slight distance between us, the crimson aura met in the middle, tying me to Kirin. Maybe a small, tiny glimmer of me could feel the bond... if I focused hard enough.

  Chapter Thirty

  It took me an indeterminable amount time to come down from the effects of Kirin’s blood. It was difficult to pinpoint exactly how much time had passed in my daze; nobody stopped for breaks once. Evyans were able to go significantly longer without rest, food, water and pretty much everything else. Ronen, Mortos and Arturio were struggling to keep up. Ultimately, it was our group of four that caused the entire army to stop. Luckily for me, Kirin had semi-forced himself to ride with me so I could sleep; I wasn’t capable of holding on alone.

  They erected tents for a short twelve hours for me and the council. It was clear they intended Kirin to stay outside during that time, which he obviously wasn't going to listen to. Since our little forceful session in the woods, he had been uncharacteristically clingy. Not necessarily nice either, but clingy. He didn't walk with the others; he walked directly at my side. I don't know if it was because of Arubai's nearby presence or what. I was too far off in another world to care for the most part.

  But my mind was finally able to relax and think about things once I laid down in my makeshift bed. It was raised off the ground slightly, which was nice. I'm not sure how the Japanese handled sleeping on futons on the ground, though it was way better than sleeping on the dirt. The demonic effects of the blood were still active; I could see an annoying amount of light coming from every individual, marking their presence. Even if I had an eye cover, it still would’ve been blinding from all directions.

  Kirin was on the ground with his back facing me, hunched over his sword. He was rubbing some sort of substance on the blade to polish it. I’m not sure why he even bothered; I hadn't seen him use it once instead of Famine.

  A squire brought in a vase of water which I managed to dump all over me as I tried to drink. It soaked through my clothes and my hair, but I didn't care. I had the world's worst taste in my mouth, like cotton and metal. It helped my clarity as well, which had been off in la-la land that entire time. The squire and Kirin both watched me curiously. In response, I tossed the vase to the side and laid down in bed, deciding to ignore them. Twelve hours wasn’t really that long when you have trouble sleeping. The last thing I needed was another messed up vision, though I'm not sure what I could’ve even seen at that point except Vince.

  "Well, don't just stand there! Go get her something to dry off," Kirin demanded at the poor guy charged with bringing me water. He rushed out like he was scared Kirin was going to eat him or something. We were kind of alone, and that was all I needed.

  "What did you do to me?" I whispered, staring at the ceiling of the tent. It was the only direction that wasn't throbbing with light.

  Kirin got up and made his way over to the bed. He didn't sit on it; I'm positive it wouldn't have held our combined weight. Instead, he sat on the ground next to my side.

  "Are you finally feeling better?" he inquired with a raised brow.

  "Are you going to dodge the question?" I retorted with a glare, not wanting to deal with his misdirection.

  I heard him sigh with slight agitation and try to hide it. "It was an accident? No, not an accident. I wasn't thinking in my right mind," he said having difficulty placing the blame on himself.

  "Why did it feel different?" I asked, my tone getting more irritable. I sat up and rested my chin on my knees, waiting for him to respond with something that wasn't utter bullshit.

  "Channeling the Essentia during sacrifice can have intoxicating effects. I’m sorry for that," Kirin replied, running a hand nervously through his hair.

  "Famine," I whispered in disbelief.

  “I wasn't being very fair to you about the whole Guinevere thing. I thought you could use the strength and maybe you'd see that I was remorseful," he tried to explain.

  "You drugged me with the Essentia. I take it you never heard of consent? That’s date rape," I said, shaking my head, still having trouble understanding his logic.

  "Rape?" he replied weakly. I hit the nail with that one. He was staring at his hands in disgust. I mean what other word was there for what happened? I couldn't say no, but that didn't mean I was consenting.

  "To be fair, I'm a lot more pissed about you using Famine on me," I said seriously. "James told me to forgive you and that's the only reason I'm considering it."

  Kirin finally glanced back up at me with hurt in his stupid silver eyes. I wasn't going to back down; he needed to not get his way for once.

  "The truth is that without Guinevere's presence haunting me, the bond between us changed. Or not really changed; rather, I was just able to see it for the first time fully. I never understood the sensation of being a master, and now I do. I feel what she must've b
een feeling all these years. It's overpowering. I cannot even think of you being anywhere but at my side. My mind won't allow such thoughts," he said slightly under his breath, not wanting to be heard. "My reasons for what happened in the woods were purely selfish, I will admit that. I'm sorry for upsetting you, but I'm not sorry for my feelings toward you."

  His words hung in the air. I wasn't really sure how to respond; the thoughts made me want to break down, but I couldn't. Never again. Ever. My feelings were too confusing to even discern myself. Whatever I was experiencing was genuine and uninfluenced. Was he only experiencing that because of what pumped in my veins?

  Kirin took my hand from me and held it in his grasp. "I meant it when I said I would have never killed James had I known. He asked me, Val. I know that may be hard for you to believe, but he did. I swear it to you.”

  The squire ran in with a cloth towel which he left at the base of the bed. He gave us a spooked look and rushed out before he could get yelled at again. Kirin retrieved it and used it to sop the water from my hair.

  "I know he asked," I mumbled. James told me Kirin was the only one worth my time, and then the bastard drugged me not even two seconds later. Praetis' definition of good people was weird.

  "Who were you speaking to in the woods?" Kirin asked, patting the back of my wet clothes with the rag.

  "Search your feelings, Luke," I said into my knees.

  He stopped and tilted my head toward him. I didn't try to hide; I mean there was really no point in lying about Vince any more. Thankfully, the prick had been busy enjoying Kirin's blood quietly in the recesses of my mind. "Who is Luke?"

  "Just a Jedi.”

  "Valentine, please be serious," he replied, not understanding my "mumbo jumbo.'"

  "Who do you think I was talking to? I mean, honestly, there's only so many people that exist in those woods," I replied, having enough of the conversation. I didn't want Vince to come poking out when I was finally feeling level-headed.

  "What does he say?" Kirin asked, knowing immediately that it was Vince. I’m not sure why he even asked who I was talking to. He didn't seem angry at least, which was a relief, though I didn’t care if he was or wasn’t.

  "I don't know. The usual deadbeat dad stuff."

  I wasn't going to mention the Guinevere blood thing. I'm not sure Kirin would've liked the thought of me taking anyone's blood but his.

  "He hasn't mentioned anything important?"

  "Does Vince seem like the kind of guy to spill the beans? I'm actually curious, because so far he hasn't exactly been showering me with knowledge.”

  Kirin crossed his arms. "It's important we know these things. I had to ask," he said defensively.

  I wished for a moment that someone other than me could see and hear Vince, but what difference would it make? I crossed my arms mimicking Kirin and scanned the lights around us, trying to think of anything other than him.

  Annoyingly, he put a hand on my hair and rustled it. "You're cute when you're angry, you know."

  I knocked it away. "Stop," I said seriously.

  He forcefully moved around my hands and planted a kiss on my lips. I bit down as hard as I could, but it didn't faze him. Kirin pulled away with a stupid smirk on his face. "Get some rest.”

  I threw myself on the bed in response and closed my eyes. At least that was an idea I could oblige.

  So I slept and dreamt. Often times, I was so tired I wouldn't dream, which made every dream feel like some sort of nightmare. The one I was having was confusing. There was nothing visual, but I could hear distant screams. They were pleading with me to help them, save them from their agony. It was coming from behind my tent, though it didn’t make any sense. It started as a low hum until the point where all that filled my ears was the chant "Val, Val, Val," over and over.

  A sharp shake jolted me awake, freeing me from their pleas.

  "Valentine?" Kirin said curiously less than an inch from my face.

  I had a mini heart attack from being startled, and it caused me to headbutt him straight in the nose. That knocked him back a bit. Black blood began oozing all the way down to his chin.

  "Fuck," he grimaced, holding his face and shaking his head.

  "Why were you so close to me?" I yelled.

  "You were having a nightmare," he said as he grabbed the towel from before and wiped his face.

  Huh...

  "Yeah…" I said, scanning through the tent wall behind me. I noticed a tiny glow of gray in the distance. It was far away. So far, I almost didn't see it. "What's that?" I asked, pointing in its direction.

  Kirin lightly sat on the bed at my feet and glanced where I was pointing. "I don't see anything. What was your dream about?"

  Kirin apparently didn't know how to stop a bloody nose because he set the towel down and blood started running all over his clothes and the blanket.

  "Jesus," I muttered, putting the black-soaked towel back on his face with my right hand. I used the ring to heal his nose, which made a loud cracking noise and a hiss. Kirin grimaced in pain while I wiped most of the non-dried blood off his face.

  "Your dream?" he asked again, knocking my hand away.

  "Why does it matter?" I responded, looking back at the faint glow behind me for a moment. It was throbbing much like everyone else's aura, only much further away.

  "You were in distress. Why won't you tell me?"

  "I was hearing voices begging me for freedom," I whispered. The gears in my mind were turning. Was that faint glow in the distance related to the voices? Who were they? "I think it's them," I said gesturing in the glow's direction.

  Kirin tried to see what I was seeing, but he obviously couldn't. "You had a bit more than me," he said with a shrug, even though that’s not how I remembered it. "What makes you think we should help them?"

  "I don't know if we should. I think maybe someone could check it out," I replied, not really wanting to divert the entire army for nothing. It could be simply a spooky dream and my mind playing tricks on me.

  I was surprised to see Kirin smile; it appeared kind of stupid with some blood still on his face. "You're thinking like a leader. Let me see what I can do," he said standing up and marching out of the tent.

  I used his absence to try and focus on the gray spot with my eyes closed. Once I relaxed enough, the ring practically electrocuted me with a zap of energy. It buzzed furiously beating into my knuckle bone. I think I could take that as an answer. Whoever was asking for help wasn't an enemy, and that made them our ally.

  I made my way out of the tent. I didn't feel like waiting for Kirin. His crimson form was in the tent across from mine, pacing back and forth. The army was surrounding our encampment on all sides; people were eating, chatting and some slept on the forest floor.

  A guard bowed to me and opened the flap.

  Inside, there was a long table set up with the council and Mortos, surprisingly, sitting and talking. They all sat proper while he had his feet propped up and a pipe in his hand. Kirin was at the end of the table in the middle of speaking, but he stopped when I came in. As if he knew I was behind him, he reached an arm out and wrapped it around my shoulders, pulling me forward to the table.

  "What do you think it is?" Vya asked as he chewed on his usual leafy equivalent of an Earth salad. Everyone was staring at me and—for some reason—it made me anxious.

  "I'm not sure, but anyone that isn't our enemy has to be our friend, right? Someone else standing up to Lazarus should be a priority," I said nervously. "I mean that's only my opinion, not a demand."

  The King, Sylvia, Merie and Jotus all looked at each other in silence. Maybe they had some sort of telepathy because they didn't speak for a long time. I'm sure Kirin's arm around me wasn't making the tension in the room any better.

  "Why don't you send your men to check it out?" Jotus said crossing his arms. "Surely you understand why we cannot move northbound until we pass the channel."

  "Listen, I actually don't need permission or help. I'm just going to go loo
k," I replied, getting away from Kirin's grasp and the council's stares. He tried to grab me back, but I was fast on my feet and practically ran out of the tent.

  I wasn't stupid; I knew that I couldn't really fight anything off alone. But what harm was there in checking it out? A deep thought in my mind was nagging at me that I couldn't be in too much danger while housing Vince. I mean, he'd lose his little movie theater and go back to the Void if I died. It'd be useful to force his compliance.

  My katoma was resting, sprawled out by my tent. I ran my right hand over its fur and scratched its ears. Its yellow eyes opened, and it yawned.

  “Let's go," I whispered, trying to urge it to stand, but it flopped over the other way. I shook it on its belly. "Wake up, Bagheera.” No use. My oversized kitten was enjoying its break too much.

  "Do you seriously think I'd let you wander off, stupid girl?" Kirin asked, pulling me to my feet from behind.

  I fought his arms. "Shit hits the fan when you're around. I was only going to look.”

  "No use going alone. We have a scouting party," he said, gesturing behind him. Arturio, Ronen and Arubai were making their way toward us. Each one had clearly concerned expressions on their faces as they got close enough to see. I was the only one that didn't seem worried about making the trip. Lazarus wouldn't come this far south. I didn't even have to come from there to know that.

  We walked as a group while I guided. Kirin refused to be anywhere but holding onto my arm like I was incapable of walking on my own. It probably had to do with Arubai's presence. The gray light was miles away, but not so far we couldn't make the journey. It only took a couple of hours before I could "see" it clearly.

  There were a few hundred souls existing in a large box, each pleading my name. It was so loud I couldn't focus on the conversations around me. The closer we got to the end of the forest's cover, the more I got the urge to run away. Something existed within those souls in the center. It was dark and hard to look at directly… like the sun. I stopped and sat on my knees. It was like a black bubble was preventing me from going any further.