The Unwanted Spy

by Scarlett Haven

  “Argh.” Alek grunts. “Maybe next time we train you can wear something ugly.”

  I roll my eyes. “Come on, Alek. Training isn’t over yet.”

  Because I am the last person that Alek should be attracted to.

  “Training is over for the day,” he says.

  Alek turns and walks from the training room, leaving me there in stunned silence.

  Did Alek seriously just end training early because he’s attracted to me? Ugh, this is so weird. How am I ever supposed to face him in training again?

  Well, no. He specifically said he’s not attracted to me, but he does think I’m pretty.

  Boys are so confusing.

  I gather up my stuff and head back to the condo. I hear the shower running from the master bathroom.

  “What did you do to Alek during training?” West asks, while I wait for Alek to be done with his shower.

  We’ve found out the hard way that only one person can shower at a time. If two people try, they both get cold showers. I’m so sweaty right now, a cold shower sounds nice.

  “Nothing,” I say. “Why?”

  “He yelled at me when I asked how your training session went.”

  My face grows warm and I clear my throat. “Ah, well, training was good. I kicked his butt.”

  West raises an eyebrow. “You did?”

  I nod. “Ask him when he’s done.”

  Alek is totally going to hate me, but he deserves it for being rude to me. Because now all I can think about is the fact that he thinks I’m pretty.

  Uh, I need to stop being such a girl about this. Alek isn’t attracted to me—he even said so.

  Still, I think Alek deserves the interrogation that West is going to give him later. Serves him right.

  You are good enough.

  That afternoon, once training is over and I’ve gotten a shower, West summons me onto the balcony, which means he wants to talk to me in private.

  I gulp as I stand up from the couch and walk over to the sliding glass doors. He walks out first, sitting on the patio furniture, and I sit beside him. The sun is already over the building as night approaches, so the balcony is shaded, but it’s still warm. It’s been muggy today.

  I pull my hoodie over my head, tossing it onto the table beside me.

  The guys keep the condo freezing cold, like, all the time. The one time I suggested we make it a little less cold, I thought West’s head was going to explode. Now I wear a hoodie inside so I don’t freeze to death.

  When I look at West, his cheeks are a little pink.

  “Are you sunburnt?” I rub a finger at his cheek to see if it feels warm.

  He pushes my hand away. “Do you always touch people without their permission?”

  “Only when it’s you and I know it annoys you.” I stick my tongue out at him.

  “Mature.”

  I don’t bother responding. West always has to have the last word, so if I keep going, we’ll be fighting all night.

  I pull my knees up to my chest, hugging them. I am anxious to hear whatever West’s reasons are for wanting to talk to me. I hope I haven’t done something wrong and he’s brought me out here to scold me or yell at me, though I wouldn’t be surprised. He seems to like yelling at me.

  “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” West asks.

  I look at him, surprised by the concern in his eyes. “Yeah, sure.”

  “We haven’t had a chance to really talk since that whole thing with your parents last week. I was trying to give you time.”

  I push a piece of hair behind my ear. “I don’t need to talk about my parents.”

  “Your parents are jerks.” He shakes his head as he says it, like he can’t believe the words that are coming from his mouth.

  “And you knowing doesn’t change anything. They’ve always been like that.”

  He reaches over, putting a hand on my arm. “Roxy, I’m here for you. We all are. But especially me. I’m the team leader and it’s up to me to make sure that you’re in a good head space.”

  I roll my eyes.

  Of course, he’s only talking to me because it’s his ‘duty.’

  “I promise I’m fine, West.” And I want to talk about something else, anything else. I’ve dealt with my parents for eighteen years. They’ve controlled and dictated me all that time. I don’t want them to even be relevant in my life anymore. But if we’re having therapy sessions about my ‘traumatic childhood’ I’ll never get over it.

  “You know I’m not going to let you avoid talking about it,” he says.

  That is what I was afraid of.

  I turn to face him, keeping my knees hugged against my chest. I feel like it’s a sort of barrier between West and me right now, and I need that. I feel very naked talking about my parents like this.

  “My parents weren’t good people,” West tells me.

  My head whips up to look at him, but he’s got his gaze focused on the ocean. I guess I’m not the only one who doesn’t like to talk about my parents.

  “My parents were awful, actually. They were abusive, but not in the same way your parents are. Where your parents used their words to hurt you, mine used their fists.”

  He has a faraway look in his eyes as he tells me his story, and chills erupt on my skin.

  “They hit me a lot. My dad hit harder, but my mom hit me just as much as he did.” He takes a deep breath, slowly letting it out. “One day, I got sick of it and I started learning MMA. I was only seven years old. I went into this MMA studio to see if I could get lessons. I think the guy felt sorry for me. I had one arm in a cast and a black eye. I told him some bullies on the playground did it, but he had to know. No seven-year-old is that strong. So, he offered to train me.”

  West smiles, and I can tell he thinks highly of whoever trained him.

  “I spent the next six years in that gym. I was literally there every single day, and I got strong. Eventually, I was able to fend off my parents’ punches and kicks, which only infuriated them more.” He smirks. “That was the best gift anybody had ever given me—the gift of knowledge. That changed my life. It’s the reason I’m here now.”

  I lick my lips. “Your parents weren’t Spy School?”

  “No,” he answers. “I’m first generation. The guy who owned that gym was a retired Spy School agent. I went to school when I was fourteen, and I haven’t seen my parents since.”

  I suck in a breath. “Wow. You’re first generation and you’re a Royal?”

  He nods, but looks down. I can tell he doesn’t like being praised.

  “You’re officially my idol,” I tell him. Because I know… if my parents weren’t Spy School agents, there is no way I would ever be chosen. I’m not smart enough or strong enough.

  He scrunches his eyebrows together, looking at me in confusion. “You know, I kind of idolized you.”

  “Me?” I snort because that is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

  “Because of your parents,” he says.

  Ah. That makes sense. “But then you met me and you realized I’m nothing like my parents?”

  “No, I realized your parents are abusive jerks. You’re better than your parents.”

  I look at him, trying to gauge if he’s being serious or not.

  “My parents never hit me.” I hug my legs tighter against me. “Their abuse was all mental. It was mostly my mom, but my dad never did anything to stop it. He just let the abuse go on.”

  West squeezes my thigh, but I can’t look at him. Not while telling him this.

  “I am fifth generation Spy School and also fifth generation Royal. My mom never thought I would be a Royal. She told me that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, or strong enough. She always told me that the only thing I have going for me is my looks.” I pause, clearing my throat. “She always said hopefully my looks will be enough to get me by in life.” My chest clenches when I think of her words. They still hurt, maybe worse than a slap across the face.

  “You are
strong. I’m impressed with how quickly you’ve been learning with Alek,” West says. “You’re one of the best agents I’ve ever seen.”

  “I got Kal shot,” I remind him.

  “Because you suck at following direction. That has nothing to do with your skill,” he says.

  Maybe.

  He puts his hand on my arm to get my attention. I stop hugging my knees to my chest and focus on him.

  “You’re also the smartest person I know. The way you have learned French in such a short amount of time blows my mind.”

  I shrug, like it’s not a big deal. “I just want to show you guys that I belong on this team. I belong in The Royals.”

  “You do,” he says. “Your mom is an idiot.”

  I know that, but it’s still nice to hear him confirm it.

  “She was right about one thing. You are really freaking beautiful.” He rubs his hand gently along my arm. “But that is just one very small part of you. The rest of you is... intimidatingly wonderful.”

  I suck in a sharp breath. “You’re one to talk about being intimidating.”

  He shrugs, like he knows it.

  My heart feels so full that it could burst with happiness.

  Did West and I just sort of become friends?

  West clears his throat, pulling his hand away. “Just so you know, I still don’t like you.”

  But when I look at him, he has a huge smile on his face.

  “Ditto,” I say, but I don’t mean it.

  I do like West Newman, which is something I never thought I would say, but he has grown on me.

  He stands up from the chair. “Well, good talk.”

  I watch as he slides the door open and walks back inside. I stay out on the balcony for another few moments, just processing the conversation we just had.

  I’m still not sure where West and I stand, but I can’t help but think maybe we made some progress today.

  When I first came here, it didn’t seem like I would become friends with any of the guys, but now I sort of am. Things are changing. But I still have problems trusting the change. Life never seems to go right for me. Why would it start now?

  I try to ignore the negative thoughts as I listen to the sound of the waves crashing into the shore.

  Things are good now. Why question it?

  The smartest guy in the room.

  West, Alek, and Kal are going out again tonight. To be honest, I’m sick of staying at home, so when I see West getting ready to head out, I decide to just be brave.

  Maybe he will let me come tonight if I ask nicely.

  “Hey, mind if I tag along?” I ask, trying very hard not to sound desperate, even though I kind of am.

  I’ve been here for almost three months and I still haven’t met any locals. It would be nice to maybe make some friends.

  “Uh, that would be weird,” West says.

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re a girl.”

  I wait for him to say something else, but he doesn’t.

  Is he seriously telling me that I can’t come with them because I’m a girl?

  Alek steps out from the bedroom without a shirt on, even though I’ve told him a hundred times not to walk around with his shirt off.

  “Alek, please take my side,” I say.

  He looks at me, then West.

  “She wants to come out with us tonight,” West says.

  Alek scoffs. “Heck, no. If I walk in with you, all the girls will think you’re my girlfriend.”

  I roll my eyes and then look at Kal for help. “Come on, Kal. Talk some sense into them.”

  “Sorry.” Kal shrugs. “I’m just along with them for the ride.”

  I groan, falling onto the couch.

  Ian looks over his computer screen at me. “It’s okay. We can hangout while they’re gone.”

  West scrunches his eyebrows. “What does hanging out entail?”

  “Oh, just the usual—pizza, movie, a goodnight make out session. No big deal.” I try to keep my voice as even as possible, but I can’t help but smile at my own joke.

  Alek chokes. “Can I stay home? I like the end of the night festivities and I want to be involved.”

  Ian laughs. “She’s being sarcastic, idiot.”

  “I knew that.” But then he mumbles under his breath, something about not understanding American jokes.

  “Then it’s settled.” West comes to stand in front of the couch. “You two stay here.” He points at me. “But no making out.”

  “What do you have against kissing, West?” I throw my arms up dramatically.

  “Uh, nothing. I like making out with girls. It’s just weird when you talk about it.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Besides, Ian knows the rules.”

  I ignore him and grab the remote off the coffee table to see if I can find something to watch tonight. Really, I just want something to do with my hands and I want to not look at West anymore. I am so over this conversation.

  I do know the rules that West is referring to. Apparently, none of them are supposed to date me or kiss me or something, I don’t know. All I do know is that I’m pissed I wasn’t there for the conversation. I could’ve saved them a lot of trouble by telling them that I’m not interested in any of them. Not even a little bit.

  Okay... maybe a little bit. I can’t deny that when I was training with Alek earlier, I wanted to kiss him. But that was his fault. He shouldn’t have gave me that look. And on more than one occasion I’ve wondered if Kal’s lips are as soft as they look. And Ian... something tells me that there is a lot more to him than just being a skilled computer hacker. But my feelings for West are complicated. I have a suspicion that if West and I were to kiss, it would be completely explosive and angry—like the kind of kissing you read about in books or see in movies. We’d be all like, ‘I hate you,’ but that wouldn’t slow us down.

  Still, I try not to think about that because it’s just not a good idea to even let my mind go there. I’m truly not looking for a boyfriend right now and I like things exactly the way they are. Though, I would like them better if I was allowed to go out with the guys.

  “I wouldn’t stop them from picking up chicks,” I tell Ian, after Alek, West, and Kal leave. “I’d be a good wingman though.”

  Ian shuts his computer. “You don’t seem like the kind of girl who likes going out.”

  “Why?” I push a piece of hair behind my ears. “It’s because of my superhero pajamas, isn’t it? My old roommate got them for me as a joke one year for Christmas, but they’re super comfortable.”

  He laughs. “If I were going out, I would want you to go. You’d make the night interesting for sure.”

  “Thanks. It’d probably be boring without you anyway.” I scoot closer to him. “Why don’t you ever go with them?”

  He shrugs. “I don’t like flirting with girls and I don’t like going out. Kal and Alek are outgoing, and West has that whole mysterious broody thing going on that girls love. I’m always the fifth wheel. The nerdy friend that girls feel obligated to hang out with so their best friend can have a make out with one of the other guys.”

  I wrinkle my nose. “No way. I don’t believe that at all, because you’re not the nerdy best friend. You’re the... hot best friend that happens to be the smartest guy in the room.”

  His cheeks turn pink and he looks away from me.

  I decide to be nice and change the subject. “How did you get into hacking anyway?”

  “My dad was a hacker,” he explains. “My parents were—are—both Spy School agents. So, I’ve pretty much been using a computer since before I even knew how to read.”

  I nod, because I get it.

  That’s the Spy School life—train from the time you are born. Work hard. Live, eat, and breathe all things Spy School. I was taught that there is nothing outside of Spy School.

  “My dad left Spy School when I was about thirteen-years-old.” Ian grabs a stress ball he has sitting on the coffee table and begins squeezing it. “My, u
h, dad isn’t a Spy School agent anymore, I guess. He went to work for a terrorist organization because he got paid more money.”

  A knot slowly grows in my stomach for Ian. I feel so bad for him. To go through that... it had to be awful for him.

  “I figured it out when I was fifteen that my dad was a double agent, so I told Michael Sinclair. My mom was devastated and upset with me for turning him in, but I had to do it. It was the right thing,” he says. “My mom quit talking to me and completely cut ties, so I threw myself into Spy School. The next year, I got invited to join The Royals.”

  I put a hand on his forearm. “I’m sorry about your parents. That must’ve been very hard for you.”

  He nods, but doesn’t say anything. he just squeezes his stress ball so hard that his knuckles turn white. “You have it bad, too. Your parents are considered heroes, but they’re complete jerks. That might be even worse than what I went through. At least everybody knows my parents suck.”

  I shrug. “Yeah, they kind of are jerks.”

  “My parents were great up until they weren’t,” he says.

  “We both have horrible pasts. It’s okay.” I grab my phone from the coffee table. “What do you want on your pizza?”

  Ian grins, glad to have the subject changed away from abusive parents and our crummy pasts.

  I can’t believe I used to not like Ian. He’s my favorite person on the team now. Even Kal, whom I thought I was becoming friends with, didn’t even stick up for me tonight. He didn’t want me going with them. That kind of hurt a little bit, even though I will never admit it out loud to him.

  About thirty minutes later our pizza comes and Ian picks out some weird sci-fi movie that I’ve never seen. And even though it sucks that the guys left me behind, I can’t help but think that Ian and I are having way more fun than the three of them are having right now.

  Also... I am not jealous of the thought that Alek, Kal, and West are probably flirting with other girls right now. Not even a little bit. Who needs them anyway? I have Ian.