by J P Sayle
“Yes it is. So we need to keep this a secret. Can you do that?” I asked, knowing full well that my little chatterbox would never be able to keep a secret. I’d learned the hard way that she gave out the most embarrassing information when left to her own devices.
She nodded, her expression turning serious. “I’s keep it secret, Daddy,” she whispered earnestly before putting her finger on her lips.
A thought struck, distracting me from the conversation. Why had Will mentioned Christmas to Willow in the first place? I shook my head when I couldn’t fathom what would have caused either of them to be talking about Christmas.
Willow could be pretty random with her conversation choices though. It had to be that, right? The niggling worry stuck and, for reasons that were beyond me it made me feel antsy, like I was missing something.
Shaking it off, I went downstairs with thoughts of going into the basement to search for Christmas decorations. My mind drifted to Neil and I started to make a list of what I’d need him to get for us.
As I reached the bottom step, the back door creaked open, alerting me to someone’s presence. Since our parents had left two weeks ago, I’d become used to my brothers coming by to check up on me and Willow. But I halted as I entered the kitchen, my heart accelerating at finding Will stood by the back door instead.
His warm smile left me a little breathless, as did the tiny pair of shorts he was wearing, paired with a tight-fitting black wife beater. Dark hair peeked out of the top of his T-shirt, making my fingers curl into my palms. Would it feel as silky as it looked?
Hey, stop that right now!
I shifted my attention away from his chest as he lifted his hands to present two glass bottles of beer, the type that was my favorite.
“I thought seeing as you can’t leave Willow on her own, I’d bring the beer to you.” He glanced back over his shoulder. “I brought a picnic basket as well with some goodies I think you’ll like.” His cheeks darkened as his gaze moved back to mine.
Was he blushing?
He totally was.
My stomach fluttered and I stepped closer, like a moth to a flame desperate to bask in his warm smile.
“You bought me treats?” I silently cursed the breathlessness of my voice as I shoved my fists into the pockets of my shorts.
Stop being a total dipshit.
How the heck am I supposed to do that with the man of my dreams standing right there in front of me? Tell me that. How?
Will
I’d had more than a few moments of remorse that afternoon after Willow had gone home. After discovering I hadn’t been able to spend the last few Christmases with my family, she’d cried. My heart had ached for her as she’d clung to me, patting my back and offering her affections so freely that it had left me with a ball of emotion lodged in my chest that I’d been unable to shift.
I wasn’t even sure what had triggered the conversation. She had no filter and often talked about random stuff. Not that I minded, not when she was the highlight of my day. I’d started to look forward to her visits. Seeing her golden head appear through the gap in the hedge separating our two properties brought the biggest smile to my face. She was as shiny as a new penny and her presence left no room for any worries about what I was going to do next. Her constant chatter made it easy to ask questions.
Was I guilty of pumping her for information? Fuck, yeah, I was. They weren’t my proudest moments but I was desperate. With Neil a no-go area when it came to finding out if Tiny was dating anyone, I’d been left with Willow. She’d been more than happy to tell me that her Daddy was lonely and never went out with anyone.
Her insightfulness had left me reeling as she’d chatted about him. How did people think that children saw nothing? They saw everything.
Half an hour ago, I’d given up on trying to pretend that my gut wasn’t still churning from the conversation I’d had with Willow, so here I was. I had beer and a picnic basket full of goodies that I’d bought today, all part of my plan to woo Tiny. Only, a little girl who had burrowed into my heart and cut me off at the knees with one question, had turned my mission into something else.
“Why do youse think my Mommy doesn’t comes and sees me? I’s ask Daddy, but he gets a funny look on his face like dis.” Her small brow pinched tightly together and her tiny nose wrinkled as if she smelt something bad.
Due to a lack of experience with children and only having what Neil had told me about Kerry to go on, I’d had no choice but to change the subject. The look of disappointment on her face had cut my heart to ribbons. It had stuck with me, not giving me a minute’s peace as I’d tried to figure out how to talk to Tiny in order to find out the answers.
“Are you just gonna tease me with the goodies and the beer?” Tiny inquired, his eyes narrowing on me.
It took a considerable effort not to jerk as he pulled me from my thoughts and I fidgeted for a second, more heat creeping into my face. “Here, take the beer and I’ll grab the picnic basket.” The gruffness in my tone had Tiny’s brows arching up. But he didn’t say anything as he took the bottles from me.
“We could sit on the porch as it’s cooled off some, and if I leave the door open we’ll still be able to keep an ear out for Willow,” Tiny stated.
“That’s cool.” I gave him a smile as I turned back to face him with the basket in my arms, the door left open at my back. My lips twitched as I noticed where his gaze had been. Had he been checking my ass out?
“We’ll need a couple of plates,” I prompted as Tiny remained still, clutching the beer bottles.
“Oh yeah, sorry,” he muttered before turning away and going over to the counter. The bottles clinked together as he placed them down. He reached into the top cupboard where his Mom kept the plates, his T-shirt riding up to reveal a strip of golden flesh. His lean legs and pert ass drew my gaze. My groin tightened with a surge of arousal and I shut my eyes, swallowing a groan at the image my mind had conjured up of me worshiping that ass.
You’re here because you want answers about Willow’s mom, stop this other nonsense.
That ass is not nonsense.
I huffed, and it was only when I heard Tiny chuckle that I opened my eyes.
There was a silly grin on his face. “You alright there? I’m thinkin’ Willow is starting to rub off on you, ‘cause you’re acting like you’re playing a game, only you forgot to tell me about it.” There was laughter in his voice and I couldn’t stop myself from replying, “I could do with someone to play games with—”
“What do we have here?” asked a familiar voice.
I felt my stomach drop at being caught flirting with Tiny in front of… Andy.
I swung around to face Tiny’s brother. Andy’s dark hair was longer than I remembered it being, skimming his shoulders. His Levi jeans hung low on his hips, making his legs seem incredibly long. He stood only a few inches shorter than I was, and I noticed he’d filled out some since the last time I’d seen him. The threadbare shirt covering his solid frame was covered in dirt, as were his cowboy boots.
His gaze moved from me to Tiny before moving back again, his eyes narrowing on me. “It’s good to see you, Will. Neil mentioned you were home.” He stepped forward and gave my back a hard slap which pushed me forward. I eyed him, a warning light I recognized from our youth sparking in the depths of his brown eyes. Those same eyes travelled down to the basket I was still clutching. “You got food in there ‘cause I’m starving?”
“Hey! Will brought whatever’s in that basket for me, dick. And what are you doing here anyway? You were only here four days ago. You wouldn’t be checking up on me, would you?” Tiny scowled, his hands moving to his hips as he stepped forwards.
“Now keep your hair on, I’ve… I need…”
“Next time, come up with a story before you get here,” Tiny ground out through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching as he thrust his chin in Andy’s direction.
“If that’s supposed to scare me, you’ve got about as much hope as no hope,�
� Andy said and then chuckled. He rubbed his bristly jaw, his gaze moving back to the basket as his stomach growled loudly. “You gonna share?”
Seeing no way out without looking like a rude bastard, I shrugged before handing the basket to Tiny. He took it eagerly, going over to the kitchen table and then lifting the lid of the old basket I’d found hiding in the back of a cupboard. He hummed in appreciation, an action which drew Andy into the room to peer over Tiny’s shoulder.
“He knows you well, little brother,” Andy muttered, stepping back to give me an unmistakable look of speculation. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to get in Tiny’s pants.”
Andy jerked as Tiny rammed his elbow hard into his side. “What the heck was that for?” Andy growled as he rubbed the spot. Deep lines appeared on his forehead as he glared at Tiny.
Acting on instinct, I stepped closer to Tiny, just in case Andy decided to start something. Tiny’s face was redder than a tomato as he refused to look in my direction. “There’s plenty in there to share, so let’s cool our jets and just chill,” I said.
There was a fleeting moment where I thought I’d seen disappointment cross Tiny’s face after he’d suggested we could all share. Hope flared in my chest that I was right. Tiny pulled out all his favorites from the basket and then retrieved a third plate. Once the food was plated, Tiny handed one to each of us before grabbing one of the beers and stalking out of the kitchen and onto the back porch.
“What’s going on with you and Tiny?” Andy hissed out, his gaze on the door which stood open.
“That’s none of your business—”
“It is when it comes to my brother and my niece!”
The emphasis on “my niece” was not lost on me. I had to force myself not to snap. “Okay, point taken on your niece, but any interest I have for Tiny is for me to discuss with him, not you.” I paused as his mouth opened to speak but I held up a hand. “I haven’t finished. I’ve spent some time with Willow and I swear on my life that I’ll never hurt her.”
“If you’re looking to start something with my baby brother and then it ends, that’ll hurt her when you leave,” he growled fiercely.
“I’m going nowhere. I’m back for good. And it isn’t if I start something, it’s when.” I got into his face and looked him dead in the eye, letting him see I was deadly serious.
“Is that how it is? Well just remember there are three of us, and we’ll all kick your ass if you mess with Tiny.”
The sincerity in his expression ensured that I understood that he meant it. “If I do anything to hurt either of them, then I’ll let you kick my ass. Are we good?” I held my breath, releasing it in a whoosh as Andy’s posture relaxed.
“We are.” He slapped my shoulder, reaching around me to snatch the one remaining beer off the counter. He gave me a wicked grin as he strolled out the door, shouting back, “You snooze, you lose around here.”
“Yeah, that might be the case. But I’ve no intention of snoozing when it comes to Tiny and Willow,” I muttered under my breath as I followed him.
Greg
Any hopes of Andy leaving after he’d eaten died as he settled back on the porch swing and patted his stomach. “God, I needed that. If Del doesn’t find another ranch hand to assist with the city folks soon, I think I’m gonna have to… well, do something drastic. This situation is getting way out of hand,” he complained bitterly.
It was only as he rubbed his face that I noticed how tired he looked. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked as if he’d lost weight.
“What’s the problem?” I asked, shifting forward on the seat I’d opted to sit in so that Will couldn’t sit next to me. The last thing I’d wanted was to have to endure the scent of his aftershave while my brother watched me like a hawk. There was no way I could have failed to notice his aggressive posturing in the kitchen as he’d gone all ‘big brother’ on me and Will. Then there’d been the murmured conversation too quiet for me to hear after I’d walked out onto the porch.
Thinking about the questions I’d avoided while eating made the fluttering in my chest increase. Why was Andy acting like a dick? Did he think that Will was hitting on me?
It was a ridiculous thought, yet the basket indicated something different. Who bought someone beer and all their favorite foods for no reason? I chewed on my lower lip, trying to recall whether anyone I’d dated before had ever gone to so much trouble.
You’re not dating Will!
Yeah, then why is he being so thoughtful?
He’s always been a thoughtful person.
The thought pulled me from the path I’d been heading down and I turned my attention back to Andy as he answered my question. “Remember me telling you that Del was going to set up a side business for city folks who come and stay at the ranch? So they can get a taste of what it’s like to be a cowboy.” He gave a wry chuckle. “Well, he’s been inundated with folks wanting to come. So much so that it’s taken over everything else. I’m run ragged with the extra work it’s taking to run the ranch and keep the city folks happy. I’m meeting myself coming forward and back. It’s not much better for the others either. Del put an ad out for experienced horsemen, but at this time of year all the men with the necessary skills are already working on other ranches.” He sounded weary as he stood, his hands coming up to rub his neck as he twisted his head from one side to the other.
“I might be interested,” Will stated. Andy’s arms dropped to his sides, his dark eyes moving to Will as my gaze moved between the two of them.
“You serious?” Andy’s eyebrows merged, his expression turning thoughtful. “If I remember rightly, you’ve got some skills with horses?”
“I do, or I did. It’s been a few years since I’ve been around them.”
Will shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but I was too busy trying to wrap my head around the fact that he was looking for a job. Was he not going back to the marines? As if he’d read my mind, his gaze shifted to mine. Something in his eyes made the air become trapped in my lungs.
“I’m home for good and this seems like something I’d be real interested in.” His gaze drifted back to Andy. “Do you think Del would have some time for me to come and talk to him tomorrow?”
“If you’re serious, I’m sure he’ll fit you in?” Andy grinned as Will nodded. “I’ll mention it tonight when I get back to the ranch.”
I tuned out as Andy asked for Will’s cell phone number, the food I’d just eaten churning in my gut. He was staying… right next door. I swallowed with difficulty as my mouth dried up. How was I going to cope with seeing him every day without letting on how I felt about him?
It took a second to realize that Andy was speaking to me as the dilemma continued to run through my mind on replay. “—see Willow at the weekend when she comes for her riding lesson.”
I nodded distractedly. “She’s got new cowboy boots and it was all I could do to persuade her that she had to wait for Saturday, what with her beggin’ to come and see you.” I sighed as Andy’s eyes brightened. He, out of all my brothers, was the one Willow was drawn to the most. There was something special about the bond they shared. It had been amazing to see Willow turn my surly brother into a pussy cat just by giving him a smile.
My heart had melted at the way my family had rallied around after us, but it had been Andy who wouldn’t be denied his “Willow time” as he called it. No matter how busy he’d been at work, he’d still come to the house every day and spend time in the old rocker Mom had had Pops bring up from the basement to my room. I’d spent hours in that chair, but Andy wasn’t far off.
Andy smirked. “I’ll bet she’ll be as excited as the barn cats when they play with the mice.”
“Quit it, Andy.” I shuddered and he laughed at me as he headed for the steps.
“I’ll see you on Saturday,” he said, giving me a small wave. “Will, I’ll text you later about tomorrow.” He left, humming to himself, the sound mixing with the buzzing of insects before his
truck door opened and shut, the engine starting.
A crackling tension replaced the sound of the engine as it faded away. My skin thrummed with it, the tiny hairs lifting as if expecting a strike of lightning. I froze as Will stood, his huge body towering over me. The light from the windows behind us cast shadows across his face and I struggled to read his expression. “I… I wanted to talk… but if it’s too late now we could do it another day?”
Was that reluctance in his voice? Was he unhappy because he had leave? Or because he wanted to talk?
“’S’up to you.” The pain from the bite of my fingernails into the soft skin of my palms increased as he stood there, unmoving.
“Willow mentioned something today… and, well she got upset—”
“Over you not having Christmas?” I interrupted.
He shook his head, but then nodded, his brow furrowing. “Yes and no. She did get upset about me not getting to celebrate Christmas, but there was something else.”
My eyes widened as I tried to make sense of what he was saying.
His hands raked through his hair, ruffling it. “She… asked me why her mother didn’t want to see her.”
The air whistled past my teeth as I sucked in a breath, hoping it would ease the sudden unbearable tightness in my chest. I lurched up from the seat, wrapping my arms around my body as if it might ward off what Will had just said.
“I… fuck!” I exclaimed, turning to face the darkness as I searched for an answer which wouldn’t make me feel like the shittest parent in the world. I kept my eyes firmly fixed in front of me while I struggled to do just that.
All it took was a gentle touch to my arm for the tears to start to fall. I blinked and tried to swallow past the ball in my throat. Will’s arms wrapped around me from behind, his chest pressing into me as he drew me back against him. He rested his chin on the top of my head, his arms flexing and holding me closer.
It felt like he was trying to create a protective barrier around me, using his strength to block out the hurt. It didn’t stop the tears from dripping off my chin and onto his bare arms though as I fought to breathe past the sobs threatening to choke me.