Seven Shades of You

by Johnson, A. M.

  “They tried their best.”

  A grumble resonated in Hintz’s throat. “Twenty minutes.” As he walked by my table, he tapped me on the head with his stack of papers. “Always lovely to see you, Miss O’Connell.”

  Kai’s dark eyes met mine as he walked toward the back of the class. “I don’t think I could concentrate if you were in this class.”

  “No?” I asked and uncrossed my legs.

  My heart accelerated as he leaned down, taking my chin between his thumb and forefinger, he whispered against my lips, “No.” His breath was minty, like the peppermints I’d learned he kept in his gym bag. “I couldn’t go the whole hour without doing this.”

  His eyes were black, his pupils snuffing out the chocolate color of his irises, and as hot lips pressed against mine, the grip he had on my chin relaxed. Kai slid his hand down to my neck, his mouth urgent as he kissed me.

  “Hi.” I nipped his lip as he pulled away.

  “Hey.”

  I don’t think I’d ever get used to his smile. This one, in particular. The one he reserved for me. Equal parts red and violet, his true colors.

  “When will I ever get to see one of your drawings?”

  He offered me his hand and I took it as I stood. “This week.”

  “You say that every week.”

  Kai let go of my hand, his energy nervous as he grabbed a black folder from his desk. He unhooked his bag and placed it inside. “I’m not like you, Indie. I have to work at my craft.”

  “I have to work on my craft, too.”

  “You’re beyond talented.”

  I pointed to the whiteboard. “And so are you. You drew that in less than three minutes with a dry erase marker. I got goosebumps thinking what it would look like with a proper pencil.”

  He shouldered his bag and rounded the desk, closing off the space between us. He framed my face with his hands. “You got goosebumps?”

  “I think the entire class got goosebumps.”

  “I think they’re finally starting to listen to me.” His thumbs trailed over my cheeks.

  “I wish I would have gotten here sooner,” I whispered. “I like watching you teach.”

  “Yeah?”

  He lowered his chin, his nose dusting the tip of mine.

  “Mm-hm.”

  Two sweet kisses and my legs were jelly.

  “Did you skip your English class?” he asked, dragging the pad of his thumb over my lips.

  “Nope. I turned in my paper early. I don’t have to worry about Dr. Girri and her obsession with dangling participles until after spring break.”

  He let out a defeated groan. “Don’t remind me.”

  “About Dr. Girri?”

  He pulled back, linking his hand with mine, he led us through the classroom door into the empty hallway. “No, about spring break. I’m not going to see you for an entire week.” I smiled, and he squeezed my hand. “I’m glad my suffering is amusing to you.”

  “Suffering…” I pressed my lips together to suppress my giggle. “I’ll miss you, too.”

  “It’s more than missing you.” His serious tone took me off guard. “I can count on one hand how many times I’ve slept in my own bed this last month. You’re going home, and I’ll be here waiting for my home to return to me.”

  The air in my lungs stilled, like the gray surface of a lake, waiting to be broken. I waited for the witch in my head to appear. To tell me he was lying, using me, but there was nothing but perfect silence.

  My feet planted to the floor and Kai turned to look at me, a confused look on his face.

  “Did you mean that?” I asked.

  He shoved his hand through his hair, making the strands shuffle and stick in messy but effortless waves. He rubbed the back of his neck, his posture almost vulnerable. His self-confidence only measured in the sure way he held my hand.

  “Yeah.” Kai’s Adam’s apple moved under the smooth line of his throat. “Indie, I think of nothing but you. All day, every day. And every time I look at your brother, I get sick because these feelings I have for you… I don’t want to let them go.”

  Releasing his hand, I touched his chest, curled my fingers into his shirt and he wrapped his around my braid. “You won’t have to.”

  He nodded his head slowly, as if absorbing the idea that we might be an actual possibility. Be something other than clandestine touches hidden behind my bedroom door, more than secrets heavy under our skin.

  “I can’t see a way, Indie. A way this won’t hurt him.”

  I reached up to the tips of my toes and placed a kiss at the corner of his mouth, to his chin, and he relaxed into me, his chest falling with even breaths.

  “Let me worry about Royal. I think telling him when we’re home will be a good thing. It will give him time to process, and if he has a hard time, my parents will make him process.”

  Kai’s warm grip settled on my waist. “I want it to be that easy.”

  A group of students rounded the corner and he let his arms drop to his sides.

  “It will be.” Reaching out, I claimed his hand. “I bet a part of him already senses it.”

  Kai looked down at our connection. “The twin thing.”

  We followed the group of students toward the exit, and even though I was bold enough to hold his hand here, in this little world of art and us, I reluctantly let go as I squinted into the mid-day sun.

  “Royal and I are connected in so many ways. Most people don’t understand it or they think it’s creepy. You know he picked this school specifically? He knew they had an art program and he wanted us to be together. Most siblings are dying to get away from each other. Royal is stubborn, but he loves me. I waited to tell him because I had to be sure about us. I’m sure, Kai. If I’m happy, he’ll be happy. It won’t matter.” He raised his brows, doubt etching creases into his tan skin.

  “You saw how he reacted when Corbin asked you to the dance.”

  My smile stretched across my face. As much as I shouldn’t, I’d liked seeing Kai flustered and jealous.

  “That doesn’t even count, Corbin wasn’t serious, and besides, I told you, Royal pulled me aside that same day and said if I wanted to go with Corbin he’d deal with it. Who I show up with at the dance is irrelevant. He just wants me to be careful. The twin thing, remember, he knows more about me than most brothers do.”

  “We shouldn’t have lied to him.” Kai stared ahead, ignoring the two girls waving at him from the quad.

  “Let me worry about Royal,” I repeated, and he exhaled a long breath.

  I wanted so much to reach over and take his hand in mine, soothe his stress with a quick kiss, in the open air. I didn’t recognize anyone on the lawn, and for a second I wanted to risk it.

  He swore under his breath, his jaw tense, as he slipped on the fakest smile I’d ever seen him wear. “Hey, Laney.”

  One of the girls who’d waved at him approached us. She wrapped her arms around his neck, giving a quick peck on his cheek. I’d never felt so small… so invisible.

  He doesn’t see you.

  Doubt invaded the quiet hallways inside my head.

  “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” she whined, flipping her long, red locks over her right shoulder. She was tall with lean legs that had been poured into a pair of skinny jeans.

  “I’ve been busy.” Kai shoved his hands in his pockets.

  “Who’s your friend?” she asked, her eyes assessing me, the smile on her face just as fake as his.

  “This is Indie, she’s—”

  “Royal’s sister,” I interrupted. “He swims with Kai.”

  “Oh, I know Royal,” she practically crooned. “So hot, wish he was into girls.”

  I didn’t miss the way she flashed her lashes at Kai. Was she trying to make him jealous? Had they slept together? Everything, all the rumors I’d heard about Kai, I’d stuffed them away inside a black box. Who he used to be shouldn’t dictate who he’d become, but it was a hard pill to swallow when the rumors m
anifested in real life as a gorgeous, leggy redhead who’d just kissed your boyfriend in front of you.

  “You guys look so much alike, you’re twins, right?”

  “True story.”

  Look at her.

  Look how beautiful.

  I blinked, pushing the voices back into a closet and smiled. She was beautiful. And maybe Kai had a past with her. But she didn’t have him now. Her lips parted in a smile I recognized. Bitter. Resentful.

  She eyed my overalls. Her nose wrinkling, she said, “Love your outfit. Very low maintenance.”

  Kai’s brows furrowed, his dark eyes hard as he stared at her. “You should see her paint, she’s amazing.” The strict line of his jaw gentled as he dropped his gaze to mine. A teasing smile curling at the corners of his mouth, he said, “Talented and hot, I bet your brother had to kick some serious ass in high school.”

  Laney’s giggle fell flat. “Such a flirt, Kai.” She reached her hand to touch his arm, and in a silent denial, he stepped back. The smile on her face trembled as she fought to keep it in place. “There’s a party at Stacks tomorrow, you should come.”

  “Got plans.”

  Someone called her name from the lawn. “Gotta go,” she said, her confidence pooled around her feet. “See you around.”

  She didn’t offer me a goodbye as she walked away. Since I was thirteen, I’d grown used to the way pretty girls treated me. Like I’d done something to offend them. For the longest time I let the voices in my head, my uncertainty—the witch—tell me they were right. It wasn’t until Laney had spoken in her sweetest voice, openly mocking me, that I realized that maybe I’d been viewed as a threat to their precious egos all along.

  “Wow. She’s pleasant.”

  Kai chuckled, bumping me in the ribs with his elbow. “She usually is. She was being a jealous, mean girl.”

  “She shouldn’t be, she’s beautiful.”

  “She tries too hard.”

  “Harder than paint-covered overalls?”

  He lightly pinched the bottom of my braid. “I like these fucking overalls, okay?”

  I nodded, holding my bag to my chest, my cheeks heated. “Okay.”

  We fell into a slow stride, stretching out our time together before we made it to Beckett and parted ways. I’d eat lunch with Royal and Camden, and he’d help Professor Hintz grade assignments.

  “You have plans tomorrow?” I asked, attempting to hide my disappointment.

  I wanted to spend the night with him before I left the next day for Salt Lake. The butterflies in my stomach took flight, fluttering inside my hollow stomach as I thought about what I wanted to do. I was ready, ready to be with him in every way possible. I wanted to give him that final piece of myself to hold on to until I came back.

  “With you.” He rubbed the back of his neck and pushed his left hand into his pocket. “I have something for you.”

  “Oh.”

  Blush crowned the tops of his cheekbones. “Don’t get too excited… or I’ll chicken out.”

  I dramatically swept my fingers over my lips like I was zipping them shut. “Not a word of excitement will be uttered.”

  He tugged on the strap of my bag as we stopped in front of the cafeteria. “You know, right? That girls like Laney are assholes because they wish they were as beautiful… as good as you.”

  I could hear my pulse in my ears as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. I spoke past the knot in my throat. “I’m kind of starting to figure that out.”

  Because of you.

  Because you see me.

  Kai scanned the front steps of Beckett and took a step closer. “I want to touch you right now.”

  I let go of the strap of my bag, let my hand dangle at my side as I turned enough that my fingers would brush his. I heard his breath hitch at the contact.

  “You can touch me all you want tonight,” I whispered.

  His thumb, daring, trailed over the top of my hand. “Looking forward to it.”

  Kai

  “Coach has lost his mind.” Royal sank down onto the bench, sliding his palm over his head, he removed his swim cap.

  Out of breath, I nodded. “Get used to it.”

  One of our teammates, Max, sauntered past our lockers with a towel around his neck. “You guys are looking a little green.”

  He tried to hide it, but it was obvious he was winded. After a few seconds, he curled over and sucked in a huge breath. “Christ, I can’t…” Max struggled through his laughter. “The man is a sadist.”

  “I love it.” Dev clipped Max on the shoulder and he almost fell over.

  “Show off,” Royal muttered.

  “Ass licker.” Corbin snickered as he leaned against his locker, his cheeks red.

  Dev snorted, but when he sat down, he winced.

  “Quads?” I asked, and he sighed.

  Rubbing the sore muscles, Dev nodded. “Killer practice tonight.”

  We were all dying. The entire team spent. Coach always worked us the hardest before a long break. His philosophy was that our parents would make us soft with home-cooked meals, and to make up for it, he’d drill us on our last practice until everyone on the team wanted to puke.

  “I never thought I’d say this…” Max wiped his palms down his face. “But after this bullshit, I hate swimming.”

  “It’s the worst.” Corbin groaned as he opened his locker.

  My shoulders hurt, my abs were on fire, and as much as it sucked, it was pretty awesome, too. “You fools love it.”

  “Amen,” Dev said and our palms slapped loudly with a high-five.

  “Stacks?” Corbin asked as he slipped off his suit.

  “Can’t.” Max unzipped his duffel. “I’m gonna shower and hit the road. I have a long-ass drive ahead of me.”

  “Same, but I’m not leaving until the morning. And honestly, all I want to do is pass out.” Royal chuckled as he stood.

  “I’ve got plans,” I said.

  “With who?” Dev stared at me.

  “No one, you nosy bastard. I have a project to finish for my painting class,” I lied.

  “Boring.” Corbin rolled his eyes. “You in, Dev? And don’t even say you have to sleep, your flight leaves after mine tomorrow.”

  “Alright, alright, I’m in.”

  “Sweet.” Corbin pointed at me, then Royal. “You guys can suck it.”

  “Be careful, he might take that as an invitation.” Sherman, the asshole, snickered as he passed on his way to the shower.

  “Sherman, you can totally suck it, too.” Corbin fluttered his lashes, and I held my fist to my mouth to cover up my laugh.

  Royal’s shoulders shook, his own suppressed laughter coming to the surface as the vein on Sherman’s forehead pulsed, and he flicked us off.

  “Be careful,” I said. “That looks an awful lot like an invitation.”

  “Not if he was the last guy on Earth,” Royal said under his breath.

  “What if I was the last guy on Earth?” Corbin puffed out his chest and stuck out his bare ass.

  Royal’s eyes went wide, his face morphing with disgust, and as we all fell apart with laughter, Sherman scowled and walked away.

  “Pretty tempting, Corbin.” Royal shook his head and grabbed his towel. “But only if you were the last guy on Earth.”

  Corbin held a fist to his chest. “Honored, dude.”

  “You guys are fucking weird.” Shutting my locker, I grinned.

  “You love us, don’t lie.” Royal clapped his hand on my shoulder.

  I did love these guys. I’d lost my official spot as captain, but they still looked at me like a leader. We were there for each other, and except for the handful of idiots who’d chosen their bigotry over their teammates, we were family.

  Family.

  I stared at Royal, my brother, and it finally snapped. This line, this tight wire. I was in love with his sister. I was in love with Indie. My mouth went dry as the conversation continued around me.

  Royal’s brows dipped,
his blue eyes looking deeper, seeing me. He leaned in. “Everything okay?”

  “I…” My skin was cold, but sweat beaded on my forehead. The truth was right there, in the thin air, but I couldn’t grasp it. It slipped through my fingers as my heart raced. “Yeah, man. Just tired.”

  “I know what you mean,” he said as we headed to the showers. “I’m hoping Camden and Indie will share the drive with me tomorrow.”

  “I’m sure they will.”

  “Don’t keep her up late, okay?”

  I almost tripped. “What?”

  Royal tilted his head to the side, and I wondered what my face looked like. If he could see the fear, all the things I was too afraid to say out loud.

  “You said you had a painting to work on.”

  “Yes, in the studio. I have a painting to work on in the studio.”

  “The studio.” He nodded slowly, his smile growing as he stared at me like I was an idiot. “Where my sister and you practically live now… Indie’s working on something tonight, too, or we would’ve headed to Salt Lake after practice.” Royal turned on the water and the stall filled with steam. “Just tell her not to work too late. I need fresh eyes for the drive.”

  Rubbing my neck, I avoided his eyes and turned the knob on the opposite stall. The sound of the water hitting the marbled tile, I hoped, would cover up the lie in my voice. “Sure, if she’s still there I’ll tell her.”

  “Thanks.”

  I let the hot water spill over my face and into my ears. Closing my eyes, I listened to the noise in my head, all the lies, and hoped, when he finally knew everything, I would still get to call him my brother.

  “Do I want to know?” I asked as Indie frantically cleaned off the small coffee table in the living room of her suite.

  Her face was beet red, her eyes darting over the wood surface. “Ari thinks she’s funny.”

  I picked up one of the many foil packets and grinned. “I think she’s pretty funny.”

  Indie collapsed onto the couch. Her hands covering her face. “I’m so embarrassed. Imogen went away with her boyfriend to Mexico for break and Ari thought this would be a funny gift.”

  I sat next to her, dragging her legs over my lap. “They’re just condoms, O’Connell.”