How to Survive an Undead Honeymoon (The Beginner's Guide to Necromancy Book 8)

by Hailey Edwards

  On the kitchen table, he spied three sagging boxes with their yellowed lids tossed aside. He dug through their contents and exhaled with self-directed annoyance at the damning evidence they contained.

  One sat empty. Another held tapes from previous years, the full twenty-four-hour cycle, clearly marked with the date. The final held photos ranging from digital crispness to fading Polaroid to black-and-white stills. The handwriting on the back matched the photos Linus had flipped through with the Rogoffs earlier. The vampires must have emptied a box of its contents before concocting their cover story.

  “There’s a fifth scent here that doesn’t belong to the couple or to the vampires.” Hood brought a report card pinned on the fridge to his nose. “It’s heavy on male hormones.”

  “They have a grandson who self-identifies as a granddaughter. Her name is Kylie.” Linus raked his fingers through his hair. “She’s been staying in the subbasement, a level above the maze.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Lethe slid into mothering mode. “Who in their right mind would let her do that?”

  “She claimed things weren’t great at home.” Linus led them to her room. “This doesn’t support that.”

  The walls had been painted lavender, and a fuzzy pink area rug covered the hardwood floor. Her sheets were soft blue, and her comforter was white eyelet lace with extra frills along the edges. Trophies for JV soccer and football blended with more recent ones for varsity cheerleading. A peek in the closet revealed a rainbow of coordinating outfits with shoes to match, all name brand.

  “Competition at this level costs.” Linus indicated the gold all-state medal from this year hung over a lamp near the bed. “Both time and money.”

  “The grandparents were definitely funding the dream.” Lethe had located a baby-pink photo album with It’s a Girl embossed on the cover. “Look at this.”

  Page after page illustrated how much they loved her. Hugging after a football game, grinning from ear to ear at dinner, tearing up when she placed in competitions. These people had supported her choices. Including her recent change of pronoun. So why had Kylie lied about her homelife? From what he could tell, her mother and father weren’t in the picture. They certainly weren’t in any photos. Only her grandparents had been present.

  “She just happened to spend the night at the inn when vamps showed up and slaughtered her family?” Hood scratched his cheek. “It doesn’t vibe for me.”

  “There’s more to this,” Lethe agreed. “The grandparents must have expected trouble and sent her away.”

  “Grier and I discovered Kylie prior to the vampires’ arrival.” Linus returned to the kitchen. “She laughed off a fall down the stairs.” His gaze snagged on the empty box and lingered. “She gave us no indication she was afraid for herself or her grandparents.”

  But she hadn’t exactly been upfront with them either. He wasn’t certain how much of what she had told them was the truth and how much was what she thought they wanted to hear.

  “They might have relocated her as a preventative measure,” Hood said. “But why send her to the inn?”

  “You’d think it would be a last resort,” Lethe agreed. “What with the haunting and all.”

  “Unless they had reason to know she would be safe there,” Hood offered. “The family hasn’t been targeted, right?”

  Linus shook his head, but his thoughts spun toward the nest the girl had made for herself.

  “I don’t see them ushering her into danger. It’s clear her grandparents loved her very much. They must have believed it was best for her.” Lethe intruded on his thoughts. “I could see her grandfather taking a lot of hurt to keep her, and her location, safe.” She shrugged. “It’s what parents do.”

  Without any traces of her mother or father, that’s what the Oliphants would have been to her: parents.

  “We’ll wait until the sun is fully up, and then we’ll go down after her.” Linus glanced out the window at the purple and pink sky. “We need to secure her before the vampires do to her what they did to her grandparents.”

  Old vampires could move around during the day as long as they stayed indoors, but most succumbed to sleep and weren’t easily awakened after sunrise. Without knowing the Rogoffs’ ages, they had no way to gauge their strengths.

  “For what it’s worth,” Hood added, “I don’t scent any gasoline or diesel in the house.”

  The presence of the cans wasn’t enough to implicate them any more than the absence of its scent in the home exonerated them.

  “I should get back.” Linus guided them from the cottage. “I don’t want to leave Grier alone for long.”

  “That’s probably for the best.” Lethe gnawed her bottom lip. “We’ll patrol the grounds.”

  After he sealed the door with a sigil, he took their measure. “Are you sure you don’t want to come in?”

  “Grier will figure it out,” Hood warned, his tone sharp. “Now might be a good time to be forthcoming.”

  Teeth bared, Lethe growled at him. “Hush your face.”

  Hood rolled his eyes and shoved his hands into his pockets.

  If Grier were here, she would wade in and demand to know the cause of the friction between them, but Linus wasn’t used to finagling secrets from people without the liberal application of bribes.

  “I’m not certain,” Linus added for all the good it would do, “but I think she heard one of you a few hours ago.”

  “Damn that rabbit and its deliciousness,” Lethe grumbled. “I didn’t mean to whip out the hunting song, but that white tail flashed me, and it was over.”

  About to part ways, Linus noticed movement on the upper floor of the inn and lifted a hand in greeting.

  “Uh-oh.” Lethe followed his line of sight to where Grier stood framed in the window. “Busted.”

  Hood didn’t say a word, but his mocking smile as they filed into the inn spoke volumes.

  Eight

  Going forward, the buddy system was in full effect whenever we used the stairs. Even if I had wanted to meet the guilty trio in the foyer, I couldn’t get out of the room without Linus to erase the sigil on the door. With that in mind, I was left glowering through the window as they trudged to the porch with their chins tucked. Only when they were out of sight did I sit on the mattress to wait.

  The sun was up, so Cletus was gone. Otherwise, I would have shaken him until answers fell out of his cloak.

  This whole trip was fast becoming ridiculous.

  The knob twisted as Linus released the ward on the room, and it annoyed me all over again to have been locked in and left out of the loop.

  “Surprise!” Lethe bounded in, all smiles. “Miss me?”

  Hood remained in the hall like he was scared I might explode and he wanted to stay clear of the blast.

  Lethe and Hood’s arrival must have come as a surprise to Linus too. He wasn’t in the habit of keeping secrets from me, and this qualified as a whopper. Probably why he braved the room and crossed to me while the others hesitated. He sat on the bed and took my hand, and I read the exhaustion on his features.

  “What’s happened?” I linked our fingers. “Why are Hood and Lethe here?”

  “The Oliphants were murdered.” Linus brought our joined hands to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the knuckle above my wedding band. “Hood and Lethe need to cross-reference the Rogoffs’ scents to be certain, but I can’t imagine another pair of vampires are responsible.”

  “Goddess,” I breathed. “What about Kylie?”

  “She wasn’t home,” he said, and I heard what he wasn’t saying.

  For her to have avoided the same fate, her grandparents must have had an inkling of what was coming and sent her away.

  Suddenly, her subbasement digs made a lot more sense, and trouble at home took on all new meaning.

  “We need to find her.” I read the same thoughts on his face. “She’ll be safe while the sun is up, but we need her secure come nightfall.”

  “I’ll find her,” he promise
d. “I’ll start the search once you’re settled in for the day.”

  The poor kid had hard news coming her way, and I wished there was someone else to deliver it. Having lost my mother and adoptive mother to violent ends, I felt kinship with Kylie over her loss. That didn’t mean I wanted to revisit my own pain through hers.

  Years later, it still hurt too much. Maybe it made me a coward, but I was glad when Linus didn’t invite me to come along.

  The news, however grim, didn’t explain the elephant—or should I say gwyllgi?—in the room. “How did Hood and Lethe get here so fast?”

  The Oliphants couldn’t have been dead long. Linus had spoken to Mr. Oliphant shortly after the Rogoffs appeared on our doorstep. I wasn’t great with math, but Savannah wasn’t exactly a hop, skip, and a jump away. I was missing something.

  “Cletus warned us you were in danger.” Lethe rocked her weight from front to back. “How could we not come?”

  “Mm-hmm.” I stared at her until she squished up her face. “I wasn’t injured that long ago.”

  “Fine.” She threw up her hands. “I was worried about you, okay? I didn’t plan on you knowing we were here.” She muttered about a damn tasty rabbit under her breath. “I figured Hood and I would patrol the property until the anniversary thing passed then beat you home.”

  “You’re so codependent.” I opened my arms and waited for her to fly into them. “Thank you.”

  “I really didn’t mean to interrupt your couples’ time.” She hugged me, but not hard. It was odd, her embracing me and me still being able to breathe. She must be worried I got hurt worse than I had admitted after my fall. “I brought donuts, but I ate them all.”

  “That’s okay.” I waved off her apology. “I’m ready for bed and too sleepy to brush my teeth again.”

  With a sage nod, she intoned, “I admire your dedication to oral hygiene.”

  “Pick a room, any room.” I flicked my wrist. “You might as well stay in the murder house since you’re here.”

  “Murder house?” Her gaze shot to Linus. “I thought only light scratching was involved.”

  “Turns out a severed head was found on the property.”

  “I told him saving the research for the trip was a dumb idea.” She smacked her forehead with her palm. “I told him, but did he listen? No. And now it’s definitely a murder house.”

  “Murder house adjacent.” I glared a warning for her to knock off the I told you so crap before Linus beat himself up worse over his decision to bring us here. “Besides, half the fun is solving the mystery. If he already knew who done it, what would have been the point in coming?”

  “Lethe,” Hood said, a gentle reprimand.

  She deflated a little, gnawed on her lip, then shook her head once.

  “I’m going down to fetch Kylie.” Linus bent to kiss my forehead then slung his kit over his shoulder. “We need to put her somewhere safe where the vampires can’t find her.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Hood volunteered. “Grier, would you mind catching Lethe up to speed?”

  “You’re not half bad at making me feel useful while also keeping me confined to my bed,” I admitted. “I’m impressed.”

  “I do what I can.” He kissed Lethe then nudged her toward me with a significant look. “You girls talk.”

  Lethe sprung onto the bed and made herself at home on Linus’s side.

  Once the boys left, I shifted toward her. “What was that all about?”

  Rather than answer, she mirrored my pose. “Can I tell you after the honeymoon?”

  That did not sound like she was sitting on good news. “Will you tell me after the honeymoon?”

  “Yes.” She laughed. “I just want you to have fun—”

  “—while I still can?” I finished for her. “That’s not ominous at all.”

  Lethe was like a dog with a bone when she wanted to be, and I was too tired to play tug-of-war. I would let her keep her secrets until dusk. Then I would lean on her or have Linus bribe her with bacon hot from the pan, until she made her confession.

  “Go to sleep, Grier.” She gave me a playful nudge that rolled me onto my back. “We’ve got ghosts to bust tonight, and you want to look your best.”

  “You’re a nut bar.”

  “But I’m your nut bar.”

  Softly, I laughed myself to sleep.

  Nine

  The stairs creaked and moaned underfoot as Linus descended into the foyer with Hood, after the gwyllgi confirmed that Kylie wasn’t upstairs. He hated to admit the noises made him miss Woolworth House that much more. He had always loved the old house, but she was truly his home now. She was the heart of the ever-expanding family Grier was gathering around them, and everywhere else felt soulless and empty in comparison.

  “I smell them.” Hood directed himself to the Rogoffs’ suite when they hit the foyer. “They’re in there.”

  “Good.” Linus drew a sigil on their door, locking them in until he released them. “Kylie?”

  “Her scent crisscrosses this floor, but it’s hours old.” He frowned. “She must have hit every single room.”

  “She might have changed her hiding place more often to lessen the odds of us finding her.”

  “Maybe,” Hood agreed, but he didn’t sound convinced. “Let’s double-check to be sure.”

  With Hood’s nose leading the way, they eliminated the prime hiding spots in record time. He was right. Kylie had opened every door and drawer in the downstairs. Her scent marked every quilt, every light switch, and every knob. As if she was searching for something.

  “There’s a funky smell in here.” Hood tracked the freshest trail to the pantry. “Rotten eggs.”

  “It gets worse.” Linus opened the basement door then fished out his modified pen. “Do you mind?”

  “Not at all.” Hood didn’t move a muscle. “Do your worst.”

  That unwavering trust left Linus’s palms damp. His reputation was such that not many would allow him carte blanche without an angle. To have a friend extend that faith as easy as breathing…it humbled him.

  “This is one of Grier’s creations.” He drew the light sigil on Hood’s left palm. “It will come in handy in the basement.”

  “Handy.” He chuckled. “I see what you did there.”

  The joking felt good too. Hood treated him the same whether or not Grier was around, so he wasn’t trying to earn points with his wife’s best friend by palling around with her husband or simply indulging a valuable ally. It made Linus grateful all over again for having Grier, and everything that came with her, in his life.

  After giving his own palm the same treatment, Linus popped the lock and led them down the stairs into the basement. He stood back and gave Hood room to search it from corner to corner, but he showed no interest beyond the partially concealed door.

  “Let me guess.” He snorted. “That’s our way in.”

  The rhetorical question, Linus ignored. “Can you tell if anyone is home?”

  “The cocktail of teenage hormones and fear is pungent, but so is the feces and urine.” He shot Linus a questioning glance. “What the hell is down there anyway?”

  “Grier calls them shadow cats.”

  “The creatures who attacked her on the stairs?”

  “The very same.”

  “This ought to be good.” He dropped to his knees. “Here, kitty, kitty.”

  He shoved the door wide then shimmied into the opening headfirst.

  Linus followed, a smile in place.

  “This is the first level.” He took the lead while Hood examined the hall. “Kylie is one down.”

  “How hard did you have to look to find this inn?” Hood whistled. “What a freak show.”

  “Not hard,” Linus admitted. “Vetting it was more difficult.”

  With his connections within the paranormal community, it was a simple matter to locate a haunted inn. Validating its spiritual activity was much harder, and it required him to send in a proxy to get a feel for it. />
  “I bet.” Hood touched the nearest wall, and splinters flaked off on his palm. “This place is all wood?”

  “With the exception of the exterior foundation, yes.”

  “No offense to Mr. Oliphant,” he said, dusting his hands, “but his architect was whackadoodle.”

  Based on what he had seen the of the subbasements so far, Linus was inclined to agree.

  “Can I ask you a question?” He led the way to the trapdoor, keeping his back to Hood in case he declined. “A personal one.”

  “Shoot.”

  Surprised to find himself pushing the issue, he still managed to get out the question. “Why have things been tense between you and Lethe since you arrived?”

  “She knows a secret.” Hood exhaled long and hard. “I think she should tell. She disagrees.”

  There was little doubt who the secret involved. “Should I be concerned?”

  “I swore not to spill the beans until after the honeymoon.” He chuckled like he couldn’t believe she had extracted the promise from him. “I have to keep my word. You understand, right?” His laughter deepened. “Now that you’re a married man, you get that ain’t nobody happy unless the mate is happy.”

  The push and pull of wanting to demand more information while respecting his friend’s boundaries left Linus torn in a way he wasn’t sure he ever had been. Ultimately, Lethe and Hood were here to protect Grier. If either of them had pertinent information, they would share it.

  “I trust you,” Linus said, and the weight of it made Hood pause and then grin.

  “We’re family.” He slugged Linus in the shoulder. “Who else are you going to trust?”

  Family was a delicate topic for both him and Grier, and it had grown more brittle after Odette’s betrayals came to light. He trusted his mother, to an extent, but his father had passed away, and he was an only child with no extended family. Grier trusted none of her blood relations. Neither did he.