Vessel (Cutting Cords Series Book 2)

by Mickie B. Ashling

  “Please, stop.” He chuckled. “I only know a few words.”

  “Your Japanese accent is far better than my stilted English,” Noriko replied. “Where did you learn, Max-san?”

  “I’ve been to Japan many times, and I had to familiarize myself with some key phrases to get around. Tokyo is one of my favorite cities.”

  “I am from Kyoto,” Noriko said. “Have you been there?”

  “I did a photo shoot at the Hanamachi last year.”

  “Of course”—Noriko nodded—“most Westerners gravitate to it.”

  “Yes,” Max concurred, “no doubt after Memoirs of a Geisha was released.”

  “Indeed,” Noriko answered, rather curtly, I thought. I wondered why? I’d have to take Max aside and ask him what he’d said that might possibly have offended her.

  Max picked up her small suitcase, and we followed him into the house. It was charming, in a countrified Ralph Lauren way. The sofas were upholstered in bright red and blue plaids, and the windows were covered with white wooden shutters one could open to let in the bright sunshine. The floor was bleached knotted pine, which enhanced the overall impression of airiness and relaxation. There were several area rugs in colors matching the sofas and easy chairs scattered throughout in small groupings. The focal point of the great room was the enormous fireplace framed with flat river rocks, adding a rustic touch to an otherwise elegant space. There was a cheerful fire burning right now, and several of our friends raised their hands in greeting as we proceeded past the long refectory table separating the dining room from the kitchen and the stairs leading up to the bedrooms on the second floor. The hallway was open to the room below and had a wooden railing overlooking the cavernous space. One could see everything going on downstairs, even as the group watched us make our way to our assigned rooms. There were seven guest rooms in all and as many bathrooms. It was a mini-hotel, and one of the nicest around. Max went to great lengths to make his guests comfortable, and each suite had every amenity money could buy.

  The rooms were color-coded, and Cole and I always stayed in the blue room. Noriko had the yellow room, which meant it was the dominant color, and every piece of fabric picked up or complemented the buttercup hue. The walls were papered in an old-fashioned floral print, a light cream background with tiny yellow daisies and daffodils surrounded by lush greenery in natural reed baskets. The queen-size bedspread was a patchwork quilt, handmade, in different shades of pale blue, yellow, and celadon green. It was a woman’s room, and the closets were a shopper’s dream.

  “Let me know if there’s anything you need,” Max said, placing her case on the luggage stand beside the door. “Why don’t you freshen up and join us for lunch in about an hour.”

  “Thank you, Max-san.”

  “You’re welcome, Noriko. Please, feel free to call me Max.”

  “Sumimasen.”

  “Don’t worry about it. We’re not formal around here.”

  “I was reminded by Sloan earlier.”

  “And not quite as politely,” Cole was quick to point out.

  “Whatever,” I said, getting more and more irritated. “Are you coming?” I asked Cole who seemed reluctant to leave the room.

  “In a minute.”

  Max threw his arm around my shoulders and steered me gently out of the room. “You’re channeling Glenn Close, darling, and it doesn’t become you.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “The crazy jealous vibe is leaking out of your ears.”

  “Seriously?”

  “You’ll be boiling bunnies next.”

  “Oh, stop exaggerating. Am I supposed to fall in love with the bitch? She’s invading my life, not to mention, my man.”

  “Your man is very much interested in seeing this enterprise come to its natural conclusion. Tell Cole you’re against this, or start acting like a decent human being. Noriko is probably as uncomfortable with this relationship as you are.”

  “I wonder if Ken even told her Cole was in a same-sex relationship.”

  “Why don’t you ask her?”

  “I loathe her.”

  Max howled with laughter. “You’re acting like a jealous queen.” He snorted through tears.

  “So?”

  When he finally stopped cackling, he asked, “Would you like me to find out more about her?”

  “Please.”

  “I’ll do it if you promise to be nice.”

  “How about if I ignore her.”

  “Cole will notice and get pissed.”

  “He’s halfway there.”

  “Make it right, darling. She’s not even knocked up, and you’re already at odds with your lover.”

  “My partner,” I corrected. “He’s more than my lover, Max; he’s my partner!” The tears were forming as the anger swamped me, and I felt like a child, but I couldn’t help myself.

  “Now, now,” Max soothed, cradling me in his strong arms. “Dry your tears or you’ll be bug-eyed in the photograph. I can’t have my top model looking like a tree frog.”

  I sniffled against his broad chest.

  “We’ll figure it out,” he continued kindly.

  “How?”

  “Leave it to me.”

  “Can you make her disappear?”

  “Not without going to jail,” Max said. “What I can do is find out what’s motivating her to make this sacrifice. Then maybe we’ll know if we have to worry or not.”

  “Believe me, I’m plenty worried.”

  “Give me a chance to work on a solution. In the meantime, put on your best game face and make love to Cole on every flat surface so he’s too tired to think of Noriko.”

  “Speaking of sex, do you know what I found out?”

  “What?”

  “Cole was keeping me at a distance because he was saving his semen for the baby maker.”

  Max raised his eyebrows. “Doesn’t he know there’s an endless supply?”

  “Apparently not. He was advised to refrain from sex so his little swimmers could grow in strength and numbers.”

  “Jesus Christ. No wonder you’ve been so depressed. Who’s been feeding him this load of crap?”

  “Daddy dearest, most likely.”

  “Are you still abstaining?”

  “No. Ongoing sex was part of our negotiation.”

  “Good. Fasting only works for holy men and you will never fall into that category.”

  “Ya think?”

  Cole walked into the room just then and Max addressed us both. “You guys get settled and join us downstairs whenever you’re ready.”

  “Thank you, Max,” Cole said tersely.

  As soon as I heard his voice, I knew we were going to have another fight. Arguing with Cole was normally exhausting since he was an intellectual, had multiple degrees, and could debate most subjects to the bitter end. I always caved because it wasn’t in my nature to force my opinion on anyone. This time, though, I had to stand my ground. Although none of my concerns regarding Noriko were based on fact, my gut knew better. I sucked in a deep breath and prepared to duel.

  Chapter 7

  Cole toed off his shoes and lay down on the king-size bed covered with another handmade quilt in varying shades of blue. Freddie sank down by the door, and when he realized his master was going to take a nap, he let out an enormous yawn, shut his eyes, and quickly fell asleep.

  Our room was meant to look like a ship’s cabin, and the accessories had a nautical theme. The lamps, antique brass miniatures of a lighthouse, were topped with pleated linen shades matching the striped curtains that framed the shuttered windows. Like the ones downstairs, the slats were wide open, letting in the light and the warmth. As always, there were fresh flowers in the crystal vase on the bureau, adding Max’s signature touch of hospitality.

  “You’ve given me a fucking migraine, Sloan.”

  “Would you like an Advil?” I offered.

  “I’d like you to stop behaving like a first-class prick.”

 
; “What did I do?” Already perched on the bed, I removed my shoes and stretched out beside him.

  “Stop playing the innocent,” Cole snapped. “Noriko doesn’t deserve your bullshit.”

  “She’s not my bestie.”

  “Nobody said she was, but you can be courteous, for heaven’s sake. Getting to know her was the whole point of this weekend. How’s it going to happen if you keep insulting her at every turn?”

  “I’m treating her like a stranger who showed up on my doorstep. You can’t expect me to unfurl the red carpet.”

  “This isn’t like you, Sloan. You’ve been kinder to panhandlers.”

  “Whatever.”

  He huffed in irritation. “Will this behavior continue until the babies are born?”

  “You’re assuming I’m on the same page. Here’s a news flash, Shogun. I’m still undecided.”

  Cole straddled me, pinning my head between his arms. His long hair brushed my cheeks and invaded my mouth. “What do I have to do to convince you this is right for us?”

  I blew a silky strand away before answering. “I’m not sure.”

  “Sloan….”

  Pushing him off, I got up and stood in front of the large window. There were already a number of sailboats bobbing in the harbor, and soon it would be overrun with the summer crowd and their usual Wave Runners and powerboats disturbing the serenity of this small village, much like Noriko had upended my world.

  Cole sat up and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for me to justify my behavior. With a sigh of irritation, I pointed out the obvious. “Just because you can do something, doesn’t necessarily mean you should.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Cole’s sightless eyes narrowed in anger. They weren’t covered with any sort of film, but remained strikingly blue, surrounded by long, dark lashes. I loved him more than ever, despite the challenges we’d had to live with to get him through a day without mishap. But I worried about him constantly, doing my best to give a wide berth and never hover or do anything for him unless he asked. He was terribly proud, plagued with bouts of insecurity when he failed at an ordinary task, and almost obsessive about his independence. And yet, he was about to put himself in a situation that would undo years of training.

  “I’m talking about changing the dynamics of your current situation by introducing new people into our household. The world, as we know it, will never be the same. Have you really thought this through?”

  “I know it won’t be simple, but nothing worth having ever is. Our relationship and my career are a perfect example. The best things in my life have required hard work. Why would having a family be any different?”

  He looked so confident, but I knew how vulnerable he was. Cole was still learning to navigate his sightless life, and I didn’t want to hold him back, but I was also a realist. Our peaceful existence would be shattered by nannies, doctors, and doting grandparents. They would intrude on our privacy and make demands we couldn’t anticipate or plan for. Toys and baby paraphernalia would be left lying around in unexpected places, which could cause accidents Cole wouldn’t be able to deal with on his own. He’d trip or run into strollers and hurt himself, or worse yet, he’d hurt the kids. Freddie would have to learn how to deal with a bunch of strangers. Would he adjust? He was an excellent guide dog but had never trained with anyone other than Cole or me. The apartment had been structured carefully around Cole’s disability, and this would change too. I knew I was being overly cautious and looking at worst-case scenarios, but it was better than imagining life as a series of heartwarming vignettes.

  I walked back to the bed and sat beside him. There was such a thin line between loving and smothering, and I’d struggled to find a happy medium. I meshed fingers with him and moved a little closer. “Even under the best of circumstances, having a child is a life-altering experience. In our case, it will be even more significant because we’re going to relinquish control to complete strangers. There are a million things that could go wrong.”

  “They won’t.”

  “How can you be so confident? Noriko is an unknown entity. Other than her willingness to surrogate, we know squat. What if she carries an unexpected gene? Are you obligated to pay her regardless?”

  “She’ll be tested for every possible genetic mutation before we get started,” Cole stated confidently.

  “What if, during the middle of the pregnancy, she realizes what a cushy life she has as your wife? She could hire her own lawyer to try to find a loophole in your contract. And if she refuses to give up custody of the kid or kids? What then? This could turn into an expensive court battle you might lose. Have you given any consideration to the enormous risks you’re taking? Can you imagine life as a father on a day-to-day basis?” I tried to keep the panic out of my voice as I envisioned every potential disaster, but it was starting to grow and threatened to choke me.

  “I’ve never had kids,” he remarked, ignoring everything else I mentioned.

  “You have younger sisters, and you’ve been around their children. Can you picture your space invaded in such a way?”

  “I haven’t thought about it.”

  “Don’t you think you should?”

  “Why are you being so goddamn negative?” Cole asked, suddenly angrier than I’d seen him since we started these discussions months ago. “You’re always anticipating the worst instead of being happy for me.”

  I let go of his hand and returned to my spot by the window. Tamping down my anxiety, I tried to appeal to his intellect and forced myself to speak in a level tone. “As I mentioned earlier, a medical breakthrough doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right for us. One can buy a ticket to the moon these days, but I can’t picture myself in a space suit. Being a parent is not easy, Cole, and not the right choice for everyone. I’m sorry.”

  “So that’s it? You’re sorry, and this discussion is over?”

  “I apologize for causing you more stress, but I won’t give in to appease you. This has to be right for me as well. After all, I’m going to bear the brunt of the care-giving, aren’t I?”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “My mother and sisters will be more than happy to help out.”

  “Your parents live in San Francisco, and your sisters are scattered all over the country and have their own families. Will they drop everything to come and watch our kids? I doubt it.”

  “Maybe not long-term, but it’s those first months that will be the hardest. They’ll help, and I’ll hire a nanny, or two if need be.”

  “Will this be an open surrogacy? Are you going to allow Noriko access to her children?”

  “I’m not opposed to her visiting, but I don’t think she’ll be in this country indefinitely, and I’m certainly not going to allow the children to go to Japan to see her.”

  “You keep referring to your offspring in the plural. Are you determined to have more than one?”

  “Why not get two for the effort?”

  “Why not indeed?” This was turning into a huge undertaking. “How do I fit into this, Cole? What are you planning on telling your kids?”

  “The truth.”

  “In theory, it sounds simple, but when little Cole Junior looks at you and asks why his mommy doesn’t live with us, what are you going to tell him? His mother was store-bought and discarded after she served her purpose?”

  “Could you make this sound any uglier?”

  “You’re so hell-bent on doing this, you forget how many lives will be impacted by this decision.”

  “Life involves change, as you’ve often mentioned in the past. Did you expect ours to remain static?”

  “You’re a creature of habit,” I pointed out. “Everything about you has an agenda, a system, a time, and a place, and you’ve drummed your theories into my scattered brain since the day I moved in. You are fooling yourself if you think you’ll be able to orchestrate a family the way the Von Trapps did in the The Sound of Music. Children are not mind
less creatures who will do your bidding merely because you want it done. They may actually have functioning brains! If they’re anything like their father, they’ll be opinionated and demanding.”

  “So now I’m opinionated and demanding? Has life with me been such a fucking struggle?”

  “It hasn’t been easy… not that I’m complaining.”

  “Sure sounds like bitching to me.”

  “Cole, I love you more than I’ve loved anyone or anything in my life, but I have to say you’ve been challenging, and not because you’re blind.”

  “Fuck you, Sloan.” Cole stood and groped for his shoes. Freddie was up and ready to go before Cole had even finished tying his laces. “Come, Freddie.”

  “Wait a minute.” I grabbed his arm. “We’re not done yet.”

  “I need a break,” Cole snarled. “I’m taking my opinionated ass downstairs and joining Noriko.”

  “Go ahead. I’ll be otherwise occupied.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Out.”

  Cole spun around and hissed in my face. “Suit yourself. This situation is not going away and ignoring Noriko won’t make her disappear.”

  “Go fuck yourself.”

  He was vibrating with anger but he pulled it together with a tremendous amount of willpower. Instead of lashing out or throwing the first punch, he picked up Freddie’s harness and walked out.

  Chapter 8

  I picked up the glass vase and hurled it against the door, filled with great satisfaction as shards of glass rained down on the carpet, blanketing the tulips and hyacinths lying innocently amidst the carnage. Anger continued to bubble like molten lava, and I was remorseless when Max pushed the door open without knocking and demanded, “What the hell is going on in here?”

  “None of your damn business.”

  Max arched one eyebrow and let out a disgusted snort. “Put a lid on the drama and pick up this mess.”

  To be dismissed so casually was infuriating, and with Cole beyond my reach, I took out my frustration on my host. Clenching both fists, I stepped forward and challenged, “I’m not taking orders from you either.”