by K. A. Berg
Is he defending cheating? Is that what I’m hearing? As each word leaves his mouth, my stomach drops further. I can't believe Alex is condoning cheating because the wives and girlfriends stay. It doesn’t make it okay. It doesn’t make it right to completely humiliate someone when you eventually get caught. Everyone gets caught at some point by someone, and the cheated is always the one who looks bad.
I never got the impression from Alex he was okay with infidelity. He has always seemed to be an honest, decent man. He got pissed at me for not wanting to tell Mitch’s wife.
I’ve been able to spot the womanizers a mile away for years. Have I just let my guard down so far with him he was able to sneak by? Have I been completely blinded by him for the past two years I’ve become my mother and just chose not to notice the truth when it’s right in front of me? How could I have been so wrong? I’m so pissed at myself.
I think about the looks I got earlier. People looking at me with soft eyes as Alex and I made our way down the aisle. My chest tightens. He’s everything I have avoided. A sly motherfucker who has everyone fooled into thinking he’s a good guy.
I don’t add anything to their conversation as Tanner pays the bill. I can’t seem to wrap my head around what Alex just said.
“You ready to go, angel?” Alex asks as he slings his arm around my waist as I stand from the table.
“Yeah, but I think I’m just going to catch a cab back to mine tonight. We all have a big day tomorrow.” My mind is buzzing right now, and my anger toward Alex is rising. I need to be alone tonight. I need to get my shit together.
Alex’s feelings on cheating are not sitting well with me.
First, I lost my promotion because I lost focus. Now I’ve lost the safety of my walls, I’ve let him in, but who is he? I don’t feel as though I know Alex at all. And who am I right now? I’m letting Alex change who I am. I’ve vowed to never let a man affect the real me. I can’t afford to have this floating around in my mind right now. My focus needs to be on work, not on worrying if Alex is out banging someone else every time he leaves the city.
I can say I tried. I honestly can. I allowed myself to get close to someone. I allowed my walls to come down, and I’ve been disappointed again.
I will not allow myself to feel any more heartache.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Alex
Nothing like A wedding to bring out your sentimental side. I can’t say I didn’t feel the moisture in my eyes as I watched my best friend catch the first glimpse of his bride. The way his breath caught. How he didn’t take his eyes off of her as she walked down the aisle. The tears rolled down his cheeks the closer she got to us. Tanner not caring who saw him crying. The love was powerful as they sealed their marriage vows with a kiss.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the day I may be able to get Quinn down the aisle. It’s an odd thought considering we haven’t discussed a commitment that big. I know Quinn needs time to process each significant step. I think she’s still processing her love for me, which is why even though I said “I love you” to her a little over five months ago, and she hasn’t said it back, I’m okay with it. I know she still isn’t ready. But she’s worth the wait.
There’s no doubt in my mind I love her. I love her hard. I fell in love with her quick, head over heels.
Quinn’s a unique woman. She’s loyal and fierce and loves wholeheartedly, but don’t dare point it out to her or she’ll think too much. She kind of reminds me of Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride. Everything is fine as long as she doesn’t actually stop and realize what she’s doing. She’s okay with love and being with someone but push her to do something and she can be startled.
She’s been with me for the longest time she’s ever committed to a man. I’m well aware we can’t stay in the limbo her issues keep us in, but I’m not going to lose her trying to keep her. She’s mine. She knows it even if she won’t admit it out loud. One day, though, one day this will be my and Quinn’s day. I have no doubt about it.
I’ve been watching her flit around all night long. Her long blonde hair up and curled to frame her beautiful face. Her gold bridesmaid dress looks as if it was sewn onto her body. It accentuates her curves beautifully. The low neckline is giving me just a tiny glimpse of the sweet tits hidden underneath. Fuck, my dick is ready to peel her out of it now.
We’re all gathering near the exit to wish Ashley and Tanner goodbye as they leave for their month-long honeymoon in the Maldives. I spot Quinn near the bottom of the staircase where everyone will bid their well wishes to the happy couple. I snake my way through the crowd and sneak up behind her. “There you are. I feel like I haven’t gotten to see you all night, except for those few dances we shared.”
Quinn looks up at me and I can tell immediately something’s different. Something’s definitely off with her. Just as she opens her mouth to say something, the room erupts in claps and hoots as Ash and Tanner make their appearance at the top of the stairs. I’m buried in a sea of bubbles as my mind races to figure out what’s wrong with my girl. I don’t like it when Quinn’s upset. She usually has this glow about her. A glow that draws me in whenever I’m near and it’s missing right now. Racking my brain, I realize I haven't seen it since the end of dinner last night.
It seems as though a lifetime passes before Ashley and Tanner get out the door. I grab Quinn’s arm and pull her toward the empty corridor away from the leaving guests.
“What’s wrong, angel?” I ask, dying to get to the bottom of her sullen mood.
“We need to talk,” she starts. Nothing good ever starts with “We need to talk.” A thousand thoughts fly through my head at once. “This thing between us has been good, but I think it’s run its course.”
What in the hell? The words leaving her mouth never even crossed my mind. My mind is utterly blown because the only words I can blurt out are, “What are you talking about?”
“Us, this thing. It’s not working for me anymore,” she says as though we’re talking about the lightest of topics. As if she isn’t trying to reach into my chest and rip out my fucking heart while it’s still beating.
Shaking my head in denial, I answer trying to keep myself in check, “This thing? You mean our relationship. Our two-year relationship. It isn’t working for you anymore? What the hell does that even mean? Because it sure as shit is working for me. It would still be working for me if we took a more serious step. Please tell me how this isn’t working for you?”
“More serious? Are you listening to yourself, Alex? I don’t do serious, and you know that. That’s the problem. Somewhere along the line, we got caught up in this pretending we’ve been doing. I’ve never been the serious type. We’ve never been the serious type. For Christ’s sakes, I haven’t even said ‘I love you,’” she huffs. The hard look clouding her eyes and the sardonic laugh following it are what fully break my heart. “You think it would’ve been clue enough for you.”
Just like that, the walls I’ve spent years breaking down go back up in record speed.
“Pretending?” I growl. “I’ve never been fucking pretending, Quinn. And you fucking know it. Now tell me! What. Isn’t. Working. For. You?” I bellow, my heart splintering into a million pieces. A reel of the future I always thought we were heading toward flashing through my head, like an old black and white movie. A future that apparently isn’t even on Quinn’s radar.
“We’ve run our course, Alex. It is what it is. I think it’s best we both just move on.” That’s it? Is that supposed to make me sleep better at night, without her?
“Move on?” I laugh sarcastically. “Just move on, huh? Move on like I don’t fucking love you?” I know I sound pathetic. She just told me she doesn’t love me. But I don’t care. If she wants to leave me, then she’ll have to deal with the fact she’s leaving me but I’m not ready to leave her.
Shaking her head, she says, “You don’t love me. You just think you do. You’ll love the next girl who spreads her legs for you over an extended period
of time too.” And she fucking walks away! WALKS AWAY! As if I’m a drunken one-night stand. She just Coyote Ugly’ed me. She just chewed her arm off to get rid me. I know she’s lying. I know there’s something more to this. I know deep down Quinn is masking her insecurities. Rather than being vulnerable, she’s high-tailing it out. She’s trying to cut me out instead of opening up. I won’t let her do this. I refuse to let her chew me up and spit me out. This is not the end of us. It’s not. I won’t let it be.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Alex
I’ve been lying here staring at my ceiling for what feels like hours. Probably because it has been hours, asshole. There’s no way I’m going to get any sleep until I talk to Quinn. I’ve tossed and turned all night unable to get my mind to shut off for even a minute.
I can’t believe she broke up with me and then turned her phone off. Who does that? My girlfriend that’s who. I tried calling her a million times last night. Every single call went straight to voicemail. Every time her voice came on the line telling me to leave a message, it was bittersweet. The sound of her voice comforts me but makes me extremely pissed off at the same time. Does she think she can avoid me forever now? Does she believe I'm going to let her end our two-year relationship with something as asinine as “This thing has run its course”?
Did someone say something to her? Is someone getting in her ear about us? Did someone tell her I did something? I know there’s nothing I’ve done to cause her to leave me. I haven’t so much as looked at someone in the all the time we’ve been together. I don’t see anyone other than Quinn. Love is funny that way. Makes you look at the world differently. Makes you realize your world is just one person. That person is Quinn for me. The only thing I can think of is she must’ve realized her feelings for me, and they scared the hell out of her.
The sun started to creep through my bedroom window hours ago. The light is spreading across the room, mocking me. It’s as if it’s saying life goes on. The world is still moving even if yours stopped last night.
She’s a crafty one. I’ll give her that. She waited for Ashley and Tanner to leave for their honeymoon. Ashley would’ve given her hell for whatever stupid thing she concocted in her head as her reason for breaking my heart. I wish I could talk to Tanner. He’s been through a hell like this before. He can tell me how to get out of this bed. I can’t call him, though. I won’t ruin their honeymoon with our drama. No doubt Ashley would be all over Quinn in a heartbeat trying to figure out what in the hell is going on in her mind.
A vibrating stirs me from my wallowing. Its takes me a minute to realize it’s my phone on the nightstand. Before my brain catches up with my body, I’m diving across the bed to grab it, praying like hell it’s Quinn.
The pain hurts even more when I see a number not saved in my phone lighting up the screen instead of Quinn’s smiling face. It’s not a local a number, but I have to answer regardless because part of me is hoping it’s her calling me from somewhere to tell me she’s sorry and last night was a huge mistake.
“Hello?” I answer, holding my breath, hoping her soft feminine voice is the one to reply.
“Mr. Conway, this is Chad Vaughn with the Cardinals. How are you this morning?” a very masculine voice says through the speaker, crushing the little bit of hope I had.
“I’m good, thank you. Isn’t it very early in Arizona right now?” I ask looking at my phone for the time. It’s only nine-thirty which mean it's six-thirty over there.
“Yes, it is,” he laughs. “We have an important matter to discuss with you, and it’s time sensitive, so we decided it’s best to call earlier rather than later.”
What the hell could the Cardinals want to talk to me about?
“All right then, what can I do for you, Mr. Vaughn?” I ask with curiosity, thankful for the momentary distraction.
“We learned earlier this week Herm Channing, our head trainer, is retiring this season. It was shocking to all of us over here, but his health is more important. We support his decision,” he explains.
“I’m sorry to hear that. He was great at his job.”
“Yes, he was. We’ve been looking into some of the personnel we already have staffed here, but none of them have the impressive resume you do. We’d like to offer you the spot if you’re interested?” Holy shit! I didn’t see that coming at all.
“Wow, I’m honored I’m even being considered for the opportunity,” I tell him. Head trainer! I don’t think I’ve ever thought of being considered for a head spot with the Jets this early in my career, let alone another organization.
“I know we’ve just sprung this on you, but as I stated earlier, time is really of the essence here. I know you’re going to have plenty of questions. I’d like to address a few things to help you in making your decision. One, you’ll get a substantial salary increase. We’re prepared to offer you a two-year contract for two-hundred-thousand. After two years, we can renegotiate. We’re also prepared to help with relocation costs and can even secure you a place to live before you get out here. We can get into the particulars of bonuses, health care, and any other concerns you have before drawing up your contract. That is if you don’t have any other requests you want to make the offer contingent on.” Again, holy shit! A two-year contract which almost doubles my pay.
“How long do I have to consider?” I ask knowing there’s only one thing to consider. Quinn.
“I know this a big a decision, and generally, we propose an offer this big with some time for consideration, but with training camp starting very soon, we need to fill this position as quickly as possible. I can give you until the end of the day tomorrow before we have to move on to other candidates,” he informs me with what sounds like a little bit of regret in his voice. But I’m not sure if it’s regret I’m only getting thirty-six hours to think about the offer or regret about having to possibly move on to another candidate.
“I completely understand,” I reassure him because I do. I know they’re on a time constraint. You need to have your head athletic trainer out with the organization and ready to go when the players start to roll in for camp. Being understaffed is no way to start off a new season.
“I’ll be expecting your call then. This number is my cell number. Please contact me with any questions that may arise. You have a big move on your hands if you decide to join us. Whatever I can do to sway you over to us, don’t hesitate to ask,” he tells me.
“Thank you, Mr. Vaughn. I’ll be in touch as soon as I make my decision. Again, thank you very much for considering me,” I say before hanging up.
I need to get in touch with Quinn. I can’t make a decision like this without talking to her first. I try calling her again. Straight to voicemail. The next twenty minutes I call her over and over getting the same recording. I even try her office, but no luck there either.
Fuck this. I’m not letting her avoid me any longer. After getting dressed, I brush my teeth quickly and head out the door. Let’s see if she can ignore me while I’m banging on her door.
Twenty minutes later, I’m standing in front of Quinn’s door knocking and calling her phone. Nothing.
I sit in front of her door staring at the awful shade of green on the walls in the hallways, for two hours before deciding to go home and wait to see if she calls.
Getting into my car, I had every intention of heading home, but somehow, I wind up at the waterfront instead.
Parking the car, I get out and walk along the path. Finding a bench, I sit down and stare out over the Hudson at the skyline of the Manhattan.
Where are you, Quinn?
Why is she doing this? Where did I go wrong?
I just got the job offer of a lifetime. My mind fades back to the time Quinn asked me if I ever wanted more with my career. I love my job here. I love my life here. But my life just fell apart. The woman I love broke up with me and is AWOL. How am I supposed to make this decision now? Do I take it and worry about trying to fix this thing with Quinn from a distance? Do I stay? What if
I stay and can’t fix it? Quinn can be very stubborn when she wants to be.
I notice the sun has crossed the sky, and I look down at my phone and realize I’ve been sitting here for hours. I call Quinn again. Right to voice mail.
I drag my sorry ass from the bench and head back my car. Sitting here isn’t giving me any clarity.
I’ve called Quinn five more times by the time I reach home. I head inside and go right for the Jack Daniels. I have until tomorrow to make my decision. I’m bound to get in touch with her by then.
By six o’clock the following evening, I still haven’t heard from her. Not a single word and I’m fucking pissed. If she doesn’t want me, then screw her. I may love the woman, but if she can dump me and then skip town, then she never cared about me nearly as much as I do her. I’m not going to turn down a job of a lifetime for someone who can’t be bothered to at least tell me the truth about why she’s leaving me. Or pick up the fucking phone when I call her. I started leaving messages this morning. She knows how I feel. She knows I need to talk to her.
I bring up the number Mr. Vaughn called me from and press send. I also promise myself this will be the last of Quinn Taylor for me.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Alex
I’m woken up by a pounding headache and the sound of high heels clicking on the tile floor of my bedroom floor. Moaning in pain, I roll over to see who is wearing the heels amplifying the banging in my head. I see bare legs sticking out from a red dress. I look up to see the sexy blonde I left the bar with last night. The messiness of her hair, bread bun on her neck, and ripped panties on the floor tell me I did a number on her last night.
She leans down and kisses my forehead, “Thanks for a great time last night. I left my number on your dresser. I’d love to do this again sometime. Maybe you’ll even remember my name next time too.” She throws a smile over her shoulder as she leaves my room and a minute later leaves my apartment.