by K. A. Berg
Fuck! I remember last night a little more clearly now after her remark. I saw her at the bar, and she reminded me of Quinn. Long legs. Big tits. Killer ass. Long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I walked over and talked to her. We danced for a bit on the makeshift dance floor the bar had set up. One thing led to another, and we wound up back here where we were stripping out of our clothes as if they were on fire.
The woman can suck a dick like a vacuum and rode it like it was a pony. Everything about her reminded me of Quinn. So much so I accidently called her Quinn as I shot my load all over her face. If it wasn’t for removing the condom before I gave her a facial, I might’ve actually told her I still love her. As many times as I’ve pictured Quinn while banging the hell out of another woman, the condom is a painful reminder that, in reality, all these women are just an inadequate replacement for the real thing.
How is it after six months of no contact from her, she still rules my damn mind? How many women do I have to go through to forget her? You’ll never forget. Even on the other side of the country, the woman still controls my heart.
I’ve tried. I’ve really attempted to move past her. But I just fucking can’t. I think about her constantly. I thought after the way she left me, it would be easy to get over her. Then when the anger faded, I was able to think a little more rationally. She’s afraid. She’s pushing me away because she’s scared of her feelings. It’s her MO. She doesn’t like to let people get close to her, and whatever it was that caused her to stop and take notice, the seriousness of our relationship frightened the hell out her. She’s fighting against it.
I don’t know what happened in her life to make her terrified of being close to men. General closeness doesn’t seem like an issue … she’s close with Ashley. And even Tanner. But she doesn’t look at Tanner like she does the rest of us guys. Because he’s been very happily coupled with Ashley. Somehow, someone broke her trust, and I’m paying for it. She's never mentioned any boyfriends in the past. Her whole life revolved around Ashley, work, and proving her father wrong. I’m positive all of this has something to do with him.
I know it’s sad, but a big part of me is still hoping this is all just a nightmare and one day she’s going to show up at my door and tell me how sorry she is, and she loves me too. But realistically I know it isn’t going to happen, which I why I choose to numb the pain in a barrage of women who are all Quinn when I close my eyes
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Quinn
“Come on,” The guy’s whose name I think is Jed, calls to me from the bed. “Don’t you want to stay?”
Hell no!
“Sorry, early day tomorrow,” I lie as I gather my clothes from the floor and pull them on.
“Are you at least going to leave your number?” he asks, turning to watch me bend over and grab my shoes.
Shaking my head, I lay it on him. “I had fun, but I’m not looking for anything past tonight.”
Not waiting to hear if he says anything else, I bolt to the front door and get the hell out of there.
I need to shower, feeling gross after that sweat fest. Jed had a sweating problem, and it felt like it had started raining while I was under him. That didn’t last too long. Then, he kept trying to get me on my back so he could be back on top, but I wasn’t having it.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? I keep looking for the guy who is going to get me going again in bed. Every time I’m left disappointed. I haven’t had a good lay in six months.
Alex is stuck in my head. The look on his face when I left him. The sound of his voice begging me to call him on my voicemail. They pop into my mind every time I’m about to come and totally kill the high for me. I know I did what I needed to do for myself, but I’m starting to wonder what it cost me.
I keep telling myself eventually I’ll find my groove again but the only place I seem to find any kind of groove is work. Things are reversed now. My work life is great, but my sex life is in the shitter.
These quick fucks with no strings, no feelings, no nothing, used to be great. But now it isn’t working for me anymore. Everything just feels empty. I feel empty. But my life is back on its original course, and that’s exactly what I wanted. I’m assuming everything else will follow suit soon. At least I hope so.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Tanner
“Here is a new group of proposals I was asked to bring you, Ms. Taylor,” Cara, one of the secretaries, says as she hands me a large folder.
“Thank you,” I smile, not meaning it in the least bit. I still have about forty others to go through. Why my father doesn’t give them to someone else to read through I don’t understand. He just keeps burying me further and further. It’s not like he always listens to my suggestions anyway. He passed on a start-up earlier this year after I told him was going to be huge. And guess what? It is huge. Why keep piling it on if you aren’t going to take my recommendations into consideration anyway?
The ringing of the phone buried under the remaining proposals from the last delivery draws me back to the present. Shoving a few files aside, I inwardly groan when I see my father’s extension lighting up the caller ID window.
“Hello?”
“Quinn, I need to see you in my office now,” he orders before hanging up. No question of if I’m busy or if I can spare the time. For fuck’s sake, would it kill him to say “please”?
Walking from my office, I straighten my skirt and fight to keep my composure. I swear this man does shit like this just to put me in my place. He hates I won’t let him control me. The only place he has any authority over me is here. I can’t call him out here because it would make it look like there was discontent in the company. Heaven forbid a client was to overhear an argument between Daddy and me. So, I grin and bear it, as I exit the elevator, until the day I take over and take this company to a whole other level.
Margo is sitting at her desk, waving me into Daddy’s office, “He’s expecting you.”
He barely acknowledges my requested presence as I enter. Briefly looking up from whatever he’s working on, he nods to the chair in front of his enormous desk. I used to love this office, but now I hate it. I hate everything about it. I hate the obnoxious marble floor. I hate the damned black leather couch occupying the far corner. I hate the framed photos littering the office, giving a false impression of a happy family. Yeah, I hate everything within these four walls. Including the man currently sitting at the desk, as if he’s the king of the world. I’m giving this office a complete overhaul once I move into it.
“You wanted to see me?” I question, not giving a damn if he’s ready for me or not. He shouldn’t have called me up here if he wasn’t ready. My time is precious.
“I stumbled upon some very valuable information this morning,” he says, still not looking up from whatever he’s doing.
“Yeah? What was that?” I ask. I hate guessing games and the man knows this.
Smiling, he says, “Martin McCallahan over at City Capital just learned he has stage three pancreatic cancer.”
“How is a man having the most aggressive form of cancer good news?” I shake my head, astonished at my father’s lack of compassion for anyone or anything.
“Because he’s going to have to step back and his son will be taking over. But he won’t hand the company over to his son unless he gets married.” The evil smile still sprawled across his face.
“Okay…” I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to do with this information.
“I happened to call Martin earlier and told him his son sounds like just the type of man my daughter’s looking for, and she would love to meet him.”
What in the actual fuck?
“Are you telling me you have another daughter I don’t know about? Is your past finally catching up to you?” I smirk. He can’t possibly think I’m going to be into being set up with anyone, especially someone of his choosing.
“Don’t be obtuse, Quinn. It’s very unbecom
ing,” he reprimands as if I give a shit about his opinion in general, let alone of me.
“I don’t see the point of this. You know damn well I won’t agree to this. I have no clue as to why you even bothered.” I stand to leave.
“Sit down,” he says, but I ignore him as I round the chair toward the door.
“NOW!” he bellows which causes me to stop in my tracks. I’ve only heard my father raise his voice with me once. It’s a memory I don’t like to reflect on, but the tone of his voice transports me back to being a foolish, naïve teenager.
Following his command, I revert to my chair and wait to see what he has to say next. He rises from his haughty chair like the pompous ass he is and walks to the wall-to-wall windows which overlook the city.
“City Capital has hit it big with the recent tech boom in New York’s VCs. They’re managing some huge start-ups and have clients looking for the next Facebook or Tumblr, which is something we don’t have. Our clients are leery of anything tech-based due to the last fall. They don’t want to lose money again. Do you know what would happen if the clients of City Capital and Taylor Ventures were merged? Do you have any idea how huge things could be with the tech investors and the business management investors together?” He doesn’t look away from the window during his entire soliloquy. He’s far off picturing this wonderland that’ll never happen. A wonderland I want no part in.
“What does any of this have to do with you telling McCallahan I’m interested in his son?” I ask, wanting him to say it out loud.
For the first time since I walked in here, Daddy stares me down. “You’ll date the son and do whatever necessary to rope him in. A marriage between the two of you will secure a merger of the companies. With the old man having one foot in the grave, the son will have no problem merging his company with his wife’s.”
“The fuck I will,” I counter, standing to bring myself to his level. No way will he talk down to me in a situation like this.
“Not with a mouth like that. Do you need to be so crass and combative all the time?” he asks with a huff.
Is he for real right now? “I have every right to be crass and combative when my father is trying to marry me off for profit. In what world did you think I would go along with this? I’m a person. I’m not a bargaining chip for you to use in a deal.”
Straightening to his full height, he stomps forward. “You’ll do what I ask of you, young lady. You’re spoiled and selfish. I have given you everything you could’ve ever wanted. I gave you a top spot in one of the city’s top venture firms. A company I built from the ground up. A company you’ll inherit one day. The least you can do is help ensure the results of all my hard work and sacrifice will only get bigger and better. This merger would solidify that future.”
“There are ways to expand this firm that don’t involve forced marriages. Who’s to say I’m even this guy’s type? Did you ever think about that?” I point out, hoping to shine some light on the serious problems with his plan. “Does Martin have any idea you have an ulterior motive to all this?”
“I’ve heard the rumors about you over the years, Quinn. I’ve heard the guys all talking about how they’d love to be on the receiving end of one of your no-strings-attached-one-night-stands. Why don’t you put those skills of yours to use? Maybe you can finally bring something valuable to this company. You’re a beautiful woman, just like your mother. No man in the city would think twice about having you on his arm or as his wife, especially if the sex is worth it.”
And the insanity ensues. The man is talking about his daughter’s sex life as if he’s talking about the fucking stock report.
“Excuse me, but my personal life is none of your or anyone’s business. And it sure as shit will not be used as leverage for your convoluted plan. I have no intention of getting married to McCallahan or anyone. You’ll have to think of some other way to get your citywide domination because I will not have anything to do with this.”
My head is spinning. I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. I knew Daddy was a cold bastard, but this? I never saw something like this coming.
“That’s where you’re mistaken, my darling daughter,” he says, the creepy evil smile from earlier back on his face. “I don’t remember asking your opinion on this. I didn’t give you a choice. This can be done the easy way or the hard way. Either way is fine with me, but you should save us all the trouble and go along willingly.”
Not fucking happening. No way. No how. Not a snowball’s chance in hell will I ever go through with this. My father forgets one thing—I’m his daughter, and I can be just as stubborn as him. Game on, Daddy Dearest. Game on.
Chapter Thirty
Alex
“What’s with the blondes-only rule you have?” Jones, the team’s quarterback, yells over the din of the music in the club.
“I don’t have a rule about blondes,” I say furrowing my brow at him.
“Yes, you do,” he chuckles. “You only go for blondes.”
I think for a moment. Have I been going for just blondes lately? I glance back to the girl who I was just checking out at the end of the bar before Jones said anything. She’s blonde. Damn.
“Who was she?” Jones questions, bringing my attention back to him.
“Who was who? What’s with all the riddles today, man? You hit your head in practice or something?” We’ve been out plenty of times since I’ve been here, and he’s never been this weird before.
Raising an eyebrow at me, he clarifies, “Who is the blonde that has you all messed up?”
A year and a half later and it’s still visible to people around me Quinn has a power over me. I try to deny it—even to myself—but I’m not fooling anyone.
“It’s not something I do on purpose. I didn’t even realize it until you just pointed it out.” No sense in lying, and I really wasn’t doing it knowingly. I mean, I know here and there I would go home with a woman who reminded me of Quinn, but I didn’t realize I was doing it all the time.
“Who was she?” he asks again.
Sighing, I slam back a shot of tequila and give him the answer he’s looking for, “She was my girl. She left without ever giving me a reason why. I loved her, and she broke my fucking heart.”
“Ahh.” He nods. “She also the reason for this?” he asks flicking a finger through my now much longer hair. I haven’t cut my hair since I’ve been out here. It now rests just above my shoulders. I have a much difference appearance than when I first came out here. Longer hair, which is also slightly lighter from the year-round sun. I have a nice tan too. I’ve put on a little muscle and am in the best shape of my life. I’ve taken up hiking and swimming. Spending more time outdoors here than I did in Jersey.
“Not her, but all the ones around here. These ladies love my hair. I can understand the love, though. Tell me you don’t like using hair for leverage,” I joke, well, kind of, because the women do love to pull my hair, and I like it.
“How long are you going to keep taking home chicks who remind you of her before you go fix it?” he asks. I’m not sure why, but his comment annoys me.
“I wasn’t just dating chicks who remind me of her on purpose. And I don’t see how I can fix things when I’m across the country and have no clue what I did in the first place,” I snap at him.
“Dating? Dude, you don't date anyone. You buy them a couple drinks, bag them, and head out after. I doubt if you even know their names half the time,” he laughs sarcastically as he shakes his head at me.
My thoughts go back to the girl I was with a few nights ago. I had only realized I didn’t know her name when I went to say goodbye and tried to stutter over it to cover. She called me an asshole as I was apologizing my way out the door.
Fuck! He’s right. But my point still stands about getting her back. Not possible from here, and even more unlikely since I know shit about the reason she left in the first place.
Chapter Thirty-One
Quinn
“Why do you keep coming to these
setups?” I ask Jordan, a little loose-lipped from the four drinks I had during dinner. Staying at the bar after it ended probably wasn’t the best idea. But I can’t help it. Having to sit through these fucked up dinners with my dad is enough to drive anyone to alcohol. “I get blindsided by them, but you know why you’re coming. You know my dad’s motives.”
The first time I met Jordan, it was a setup by my father. I was expecting to meet a potential investor, but it was Jordan who showed up. As soon as he introduced himself, I knew exactly what my father had done.
Jordan stood there, hand in mine and sly smile on his face. He looked good in his navy suit. His blonde hair slicked back and brown eyes twinkling. I have no doubt many panties have dropped thanks to that smile. It took me all of five minutes to set his ass straight.
“I’m not fucking you,” I told him bluntly.
“Excuse me?” he chuckled. “I don’t remember asking you to bed in the one sentence I’ve spoken to you.”
“You didn’t have to,” I replied. “The look on your face did it for you. I’ve perfected this act. Used it many times.”
I then went onto tell him exactly why I was there. I filled him in on my father’s stupid plan and how Jordan played into it. He didn’t need to get caught up in the battle between my dad and me. I also didn’t need him trying to seduce me. I knew all about his reputation. He’s the male version of me.
“I do it because it makes my dad happy. He thinks you and I would be good together,” he says, bringing me back to the present as he stares into his half-drunk glass of Scotch on the bar. I got tricked into another dinner with my parents and Jordan’s family. My dad has become sneaky in his ways of trying to force me into his idea of marrying Jordan.