by Nita Brooks
Yvonne’s lips parted, and she sucked in a breath. For a second, her mask crumbled. She felt the same pain, regret, longing. She wanted to believe him. Wanted so badly to know she hadn’t just been a fun pastime for him. That he hadn’t lied about not being engaged. That he’d actually cared.
Cared enough to not call after I cashed a check for fifty grand? He had to have known. Even if his dad went behind his back, he should have seen the check to her. Should have had questions. Should have reached out to her.
Yvonne’s resolve hardened, and she slid back. “Sorry, I guess sophisticated men like you prefer the word mistress.”
The emotion in his eyes frosted over to cold anger. “She was pregnant. I wasn’t going to walk away from my responsibilities.”
“I was pregnant, and you walked away from me.”
“How many times do I have to tell you I didn’t know?”
“That’s supposed to make it better?” she asked incredulously. “You deleted my emails and voice messages without even listening to them. Gave someone the ability to send hateful responses to me saying me and my kid meant nothing. Didn’t even bat an eye when I cashed a check for fifty grand. I meant so little to you that even though you were doing the honorable thing with Natalie, you didn’t give me enough respect to hear what I had to say. If you’d known me at all you would have realized I wouldn’t reach out to you after you made your choice. Not unless I had something important to say.”
His shoulders straightened. “I should have listened to your messages,” he said evenly. “I’m sorry for that.”
“Sorry doesn’t change the past.”
“Nor does it change the fact that all it took was fifty grand for you to forget about me.”
His words were cool and unemotional, but they still hit Yvonne in the gut. Forget him? How could she have forgotten him. The man who’d given her the most precious child in the world and broken her heart so completely. “I didn’t have many options. I’m not so noble that I’d prefer to struggle than take money to help my son’s future.”
He glanced around the office then back at her. “You put the money to good use.”
Her eyes narrowed. “The money is in a trust for him.”
His cocked brow called her a liar. She balled her hands into fists and opened her mouth to argue but he spoke before she could. “I won’t let the mistakes of the past become the failures of the future. I will give your show a home. Pay you considerably well for it. You will allow me to be with my son.”
Her eyes widened. Cold fear crept across her skin. “You are not taking my son from me.”
“I don’t want to take him from you, but I won’t be an absent father. I deserve to be a part of his life.”
“No. I won’t let you hurt him.” Not like he’d hurt her.
“I’m not going to hurt him. I’d never hurt him,” he said as if her statement were ridiculous.
She brought a hand to her temple. It trembled slightly. “You said you wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Is that what he promised?” The words came out quick and razor sharp. “Is that why you’re marrying him?”
Yvonne looked up. Richard’s eyes were pinned to her left hand. Yvonne dropped her hand. Her right hand played with the proof of her ability to move on. To forget what Richard had done to her.
“I said yes because I wanted to. I’m very happily engaged.”
Memory whispered between them. Engaged isn’t married. When she’d spoken the words, they meant something different. She’d thought he was free. Thought she was safe opening her heart to him.
“I’m marrying a wonderful man,” she said more for her benefit than his. “I will not let you try to come back and ruin everything.”
Richard straightened his shoulders and stared into her eyes. Damn, if full eye contact with him didn’t make her breath catch. “And I will not let you keep me from my son. If you want your show to make airtime I’d like to meet him as soon as possible. Tonight.”
Her heart raced as panic set in. “No. We don’t need your network. We can find other places to sell our show.”
Richard shrugged as if her going someplace else meant little to him. “Fine. That doesn’t change my feelings on meeting my son.”
“You paid me to stay away and now you’re demanding that I let you back in our lives.”
“I did not pay you. Someone in my family did and believe me I will find out who did this without my knowing. I never would have turned my back on you that way.”
“Except you did.” She shot back without thinking. Even if he hadn’t paid the money, he’d chosen to try and make things work with Natalie over being with her.
Richard looked as if he was about to argue. A spark lit up his dark eyes. His jaw shifted as if he were holding back words. He brought his fist to his nose, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath as if steadying himself. “Either tell our son the truth and set up the meeting or expect me at your doorstep unannounced.”
He walked stiffly to his desk where he took a business card from a holder. His steps remained rigid as he approached her. He held out the card. “Call me when you’ve told him.”
“He won’t understand.” He’s gone this long without you. He’s got a new dad, someone who wants to be here. Now she was supposed to tell Jacob his biological father was here. When he’d finally stopped asking about his father once Nathan became a staple in their life.
Nathan! What was she going to say to him? They’d never talked about Jacob’s biological father. Would he understand why she’d kept that part of her life a secret? Would he understand why she’d taken the money, or would he view her the way Richard obviously did? As if she’d never cared and had only been interested in what she could get out of her time with Richard?
Richard’s warm hand enveloped hers. Her body jerked. She tried to pull away. She was stunned by the reaction his touch created and the memories his touch tried to evoke. He held firm, turning her hand over in a firm, but gentle manner. He placed the card in her palm. “Then make him understand.”
Chapter 5
Yvonne stopped pacing in front of her television and faced Nathan and Jacob when they came out of her kitchen. Jacob, in a pair of red pajama shorts and a white t-shirt, skipped next to Nathan. He clutched a green blanket in his hands, his blankie since he was a toddler, and laughter brightened his brown eyes. As usual, his strong resemblance to Richard took her breath away, but for the first time the resemblance made her anxious. Nervous.
Richard was back.
Jacob grinned and ran straight for her, arms raised. Yvonne bent over and placed her hands on his sides. “One, two, three, jump,” she said.
Jacob jumped, and Yvonne lifted him up. Grunting because her baby was getting bigger and heavier every day. Small arms encircled her neck and he hugged her close. She ran her hand over his back. His shirt was damp. She chuckled. “Did you dry off after you got out of the tub?”
Jacob pulled back and nodded. “I did. Nathan said he’ll read me a story.”
That explained the damp shirt. Jacob would hurry out of the tub and barely brush himself with a towel if there was a promise of a bedtime story before bed. “Even if Nathan promised you a story you still have to dry off when you get out of the tub.”
Jacob’s grin didn’t waver. “I will. Can you come sing to me?”
Yvonne chuckled, knowing she’d be repeating the same thing tomorrow at bedtime. “Aren’t you getting too big for me to sing to?”
Jacob shook his head. “No, I’m not.”
“No, you’re not.” Yvonne kissed his cheek. “Alright, I’ll come sing to you after Nathan finishes telling you a story.” She lowered him to the floor.
Nathan came over and ran his hand down her back. “Are you okay?” His concerned eyes studied her. That was the thing she loved about Nathan, he paid attention which made him attentive to her moods. He’d been her rock the past nine months. Now Richard was back, and her world was about to crack and split like a fake leather couch.
Yvonne smiled and patted his chest. “I’m good.” Thankfully, her voice was even. “Just a little tired, but that’s all.”
His brows drew together. The concern in his eyes intensified. He looked disappointed or maybe that was her guilt. She needed to tell him.
Jacob tugged on Nathan’s grey t-shirt before he could say anything else. Nathan’s concern transformed into a smile. “I’m being summoned. I’ll be right back.” He bent and swept Jacob up and over his shoulder. “Come on, lil man.”
Jacob giggled and waved at Yvonne while Nathan carried him down the hall and to his room. As soon as they were out of sight Yvonne sank down onto her couch. She pressed a hand to her temple before glancing at her watch. Five, maybe ten minutes to get her emotions in order before Nathan finished telling his story.
In the past few months Nathan had become a fixture in Jacob’s life. When they were casually dating Nathan never came to her home and hadn’t met Jacob. When he told her he loved her, at a romantic candlelit dinner complete with a dozen long stem roses and champagne, he’d said he wanted to meet her son and told her there was no one else for him. That’s when she first realized he’d chiseled his way through the brick wall surrounding her heart.
Since she’d introduced Nathan to Jacob, the two had gotten along quickly and easily. He’d taken Jacob fishing, shown him how to play baseball, introduced him to woodworking, and watched cartoons with him for hours. Everything a father should do.
She wanted stability for Jacob, and honestly, despite her heartbreak she wanted someone to come home to at night. Her unexpected jump into serious dating with Nathan had turned into an engagement, a set up for a television program, and the perfect father for her son.
Except, Jacob’s real dad was back.
Yvonne’s heart thudded. Why, Lord, why? After six years. After she’d finally moved on. After convincing herself she felt nothing for him and was ready to put everything concerning Richard Barrington, III, behind her, did he have to mosey his happy self right back into her life.
The sound of Jacob asking Nathan to read another story travelled up the hall. That was her cue to stop worrying about tomorrow and focus on her good life tonight. She jumped up from the couch and walked down the hall to Jacob’s room. Only the bedside lamp illuminated the superhero themed room. Nathan squeezed her shoulder as he passed her on his way out. She sat on the edge of Jacob’s bed and sang “Rock-a-Bye Baby,” the same song she’d sung to him every night since he was a baby, then kissed his forehead. After telling him goodnight, she left his room and walked back into the living room.
Nathan sat on the couch with one arm sprawled across the back while he flipped channels on the television. Nathan glanced up and waved her over. “Come sit down.”
Typically, she wouldn’t hesitate to settle in next to him on the couch. Typically, her emotions weren’t a confusing jumble of barbed wire. What would he say when she told him about Richard? Would he want to bail after learning of her potential baby daddy drama? She remembered her earlier conversation with Richard. How the angry wound of broken hearts and betrayal had made the interaction tense and difficult. Not potential baby daddy drama, unavoidable drama.
Tonight might be her last normal night. The thought scared her more than a client hating a design she worked on all night. “I’m thirsty. I’ll be right back.”
She hurried into the kitchen. A few more minutes to get her thoughts under control was obviously needed. She’d tell him. She had to tell him. Just, did she have to tell him tonight?
That would be the right thing to do.
Yes. Nathan was a good man. He deserved the truth and he deserved it now. She opened the fridge to pull out a bottle of water then stopped. This day required something stronger.
Yvonne opened the freezer and pulled out a chilled bottle of peach flavored vodka. Her hands trembled as she put the bottle on the counter harder than she planned, and it made a loud thud. She was afraid to tell Nathan. Afraid of losing everything she’d finally gotten.
She jerked open the fridge and pulled out a bottle of mango cranberry juice. After getting a glass from the cupboard, she twisted open the top, poured two fingers of vodka and topped it with the juice. She lifted the glass to her lips and took a long swallow.
“Want to talk about it.”
To her credit, she didn’t jump. Taking a deep breath, she slowly turned and leaned against the counter. Nathan hovered at the door. He watched her steadily, expectantly.
She held the glass against her chest and tried to look more I’m tired and less I’m keeping a secret. “Just a really, really rough day.”
“You know you can tell me anything. That is what married couples do.” He leaned one shoulder against the frame of the door. Nathan was tall, but what really drew a woman’s eye, what drew her eye even now, was his build. He worked with his hands day in and day out alongside his crews on the various homes and businesses his company was hired to work on. The work made him muscular and solid. He was solid. Honest and straightforward. He’d never lied to her—that she knew—and had never made her feel like she was just a fling. He thought she was special. Worth waiting for. Which is why she had to tell him about Richard.
She pushed away from the counter and walked over to him. “I spoke with Judy earlier today.”
Some of the tension in his shoulders dissipated. “She told me about the offer from W.E.W. Network.”
Of course, she did. She couldn’t forget Judy had been Team Nathan before Yvonne had joined the team. “Then she told you the network owner wanted to meet me.”
He pushed away from the door and crossed to her. “She did. She thinks you’re going to break away from the idea of doing a joint show and focus on you.”
“And what do you think?” She kept her voice even. Calm. When inside she raged and worried. If Nathan didn’t trust her any more than Judy, what did that say about their relationship?
“I told her you wouldn’t lie to me.” His eyes asked the question. Would she lie to him?
“Richard wanted to see me because he knows me,” she said in a rush.
“Richard?”
“Richard Barrington. The network owner.”
Nathan shifted back slightly. He crossed his arms over his broad chest. The muscles played beneath the soft fabric of his t-shirt. He smelled like wood. Pine and oak. She wanted to pull him close, bury her face in his chest. Hold on to his steady strength and weather the upcoming storm. “How do you know him?”
Yvonne licked her lips. “He’s Jacob’s father.”
Nathan got so still she couldn’t tell if he breathed. He took three steps back, turned and rested his hands on the counter. “His . . . father.”
“Yes.”
“So, Jacob’s father wants to buy our television show?”
Yvonne swallowed, remembered the drink in her hand, and then took a long sip of that. “That’s part of it.”
Nathan faced her. One hand braced on the counter. His body stiff, wary. “What’s the other part?”
“He wants to be a part of Jacob’s life.”
“After all this time? He had the chance to be a part of Jacob’s life.”
This time she turned away. “No, he didn’t.”
Silence filled the kitchen. She didn’t want to look, but she made herself meet Nathan’s eye.
“What are you talking about?”
“When I met Richard, he told me he’d just broken his engagement. We started as friends. Then one day, we were more than friends. We were together for three months, but then he told me his ex was pregnant and he had to do right by her. We split. When I found out I was pregnant, I tried to tell him, but he wouldn’t return my calls, emails, anything. Finally, his dad came to me with a check for fifty thousand dollars. He said it was from Richard. My payment to disappear.” Nathan shook his head. She nodded. “I took the money.”
“How could you?”
“Because I was alone, pregnant, and knew he could just as easily have given m
e nothing,” she said firmly. “Valerie’s dad walked out on her and my mom the second my mom got pregnant with me. My biological father moved his family to another state and never acknowledged me. I don’t even know his full name. I know you can’t make a man who doesn’t want to be a father act like one. I took the money so I could ensure Jacob had something from his father. Even if it was only a trust fund.”
He closed his eyes. Pinched the bridge of his nose. When his lids lifted again the disappointment she’d thought was there earlier was back in full force. “Why is he back if he paid you off?”
“Because he says he didn’t tell his dad to pay me off. He’s divorced and just found out about Jacob.”
“And you believe him?”
“No. I don’t trust him.” But she wanted to believe him. Wanted more than she cared to admit to believe he hadn’t tossed her aside like an old can of paint.
Nathan’s lips lifted in a sad smile. “You do believe him. I can see it in your eyes.”
“I don’t know what to think. What to do. Nathan, I thought he was gone. I thought he’d always be out of my life.”
“That’s why you took the money? So, you’d never have to see him again?”
“Don’t say it as if I wanted to take the money.”
“Are you saying you’d rather have had him than the money?”
Her mouth snapped shut. Shocked as much by the words as by the answer that had almost shot from her lips. Yes.
“I’d rather have had Jacob’s father be a part of his life than have to make up reasons why his dad wouldn’t be around without breaking his heart. I don’t know what would have happened if Richard’s dad hadn’t given me the money, and you know what, I don’t care.” She moved forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. “The past doesn’t matter. What I do care about is moving forward. Figuring this out. You and me. Together.”
He stood stiffly in her arms. His torso leaned back as if he didn’t want her touch. “You should have told me, Yvonne.”
Yvonne slipped her arms from around him. “I know, but I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“It’s really easy. You open your mouth and let the truth come out. Instead you keep this secret and let it come back like this.”