Redesigning Happiness

by Nita Brooks

  It was the last week of school. Which meant half days at school, an afterschool program that didn’t watch the kids at the end of a half day, and summer camps that wouldn’t start until next week. Yvonne typically re-worked her schedule to pick up Jacob, but between Sandra’s project, signing the contract with W.E.W., and making sure the expectations of her other clients were met, changing her schedule to leave early had been next to impossible.

  She appreciated her mom’s willingness to help with Jacob even when she didn’t agree with her daughter about much of anything lately. Richard’s sleek burgundy Mercedes sat in the driveway. Her mother’s car wasn’t there.

  Yvonne slammed her car door and jogged toward the back of the house, her purse and the items she’d gotten to make dinner forgotten in the passenger seat. Maybe her mom’s car was parked somewhere else. Down the street or something. There was no way she’d leave Richard here alone with Jacob.

  In the weeks since Richard’s return, Rochelle had run into him more often. Her hostility and suspicion hadn’t gone away. She didn’t like him, and even though Nathan confirmed that yes, her mom had come to him to complain about Richard, and yes he’d also told her they were all making things work, she still wasn’t satisfied.

  Yvonne also wasn’t quite ready for Jacob to be left alone with Richard. Not that she didn’t trust Richard or felt he’d hurt him. She was pretty sure Richard would step in front of a runaway train to protect Jacob. It was just, well, having Richard alone with Jacob already meant something. That they were comfortable with him. She didn’t want to be completely comfortable with Richard.

  She reached the backyard and stopped at the edge of the house. Richard tossed a ball to Jacob who swung the t-ball bat Nathan had given him. Jacob hit the ball and Richard cheered. Jacob ran around the makeshift bases, rocks from what she could tell, while Richard clapped and grinned. Yvonne placed a hand on her chest.

  Richard looked more relaxed than she’d seen in a while. His white button-up shirt was rolled up to his elbows. He wore a pair of red and black sneakers that didn’t match his shirt and dark slacks at all. A sheen of sweat covered his brow. Sweat also made the shirt cling to his chest and back. An unwanted heat rushed to parts of her body that had no business reacting the way they did.

  She took her eyes off Richard, with more effort than she liked, and focused on Jacob. He had on a yellow t-shirt with Luigi’s Pizza in red letters on the front and a pair of basketball shorts. His face was bright with triumph as he ran around the bases. When he got to the home plate, Richard ran over and held up both hands. Jacob gave him a high five and jumped up and down.

  “I struck a home run! Can you believe it!”

  “I can,” Richard said with a proud laugh. “You knocked that ball to the back of the yard. You said you were a great baseball player.”

  “And I’m going to keep getting better. That’s what Nathan says. He says I got natural talent.”

  Richard rubbed the top of Jacob’s head and smiled at him with such joy Yvonne didn’t think another billion dollars would give him the same look. “Yes, you do, son.”

  Yvonne couldn’t handle the scene. It was too much. Too much of what she’d once wished for. How many times had she looked at Jacob and been so proud of him, wondering what Richard would say or think? She’d wanted so many times for Richard to be there for Jacob. To do exactly what he was doing now. Knowing Richard would have been there for Jacob if his father and ex-wife hadn’t worked so hard to keep them apart only made the ache in her heart worse.

  There’s no guarantee he would have stuck around.

  The pessimistic side of her chimed in. Though she tried not to listen to pessimistic Yvonne too much, she couldn’t ignore the obvious. She and Richard were different. Had come from different worlds. He was worth millions. Even if they hadn’t been separated, there was no guarantee they would have worked out. She shouldn’t dwell on wondering what could have happened.

  Yvonne took a deep breath, controlled her emotions and strolled into the backyard. “Great hit, baby.”

  Jacob and Richard both turned to her. Jacob’s eyes lit up. Something lit in Richard’s gaze too. She didn’t want to dwell on that either. Jacob ran to her, distracting her from the look in Richard’s eyes.

  “Mommy, did you see? I hit a home run.” Yvonne lowered to her knees and opened her arms. Fifty plus pounds of sweaty boy plowed into her open embrace.

  “I did see, baby. Great job!”

  “I’m gonna hit it just like that in the game, too.”

  “I know you will.”

  Jacob pulled back and grinned. “Dad said he’d come to my first game.”

  There Richard went making promises to their son she wasn’t sure he would keep. “Regardless, I’ll be there. And so will Grandma and Nathan.”

  “I will be there,” Richard’s deep voice intervened.

  He’d walked over to them. His tall, imposing figure loomed over them in the backyard. Even sweaty and wrinkled Richard looked in control. Unwilling to let him have the advantage, Yvonne stood and met his eye. “His first game is two weeks away.”

  “And I will be there.” Richard’s voice didn’t waver, didn’t hold a bit of doubt.

  She wanted to believe him. She’d wanted to believe him when they’d been a couple, too. That had left her with a broken heart despite the check for fifty grand. An apology check wouldn’t do much to make Jacob feel better if Richard didn’t show.

  “We’ll play this day by day,” she looked down at Jacob before Richard replied. She’d seen the argument forming on his face.

  “Jacob, why don’t you go in and clean up while I get dinner ready?”

  Jacob’s eyes brightened. “What’s for dinner?”

  “Simple tonight, homemade pizza and home fries.”

  Jacob jumped up and down. The quick meal was one of his favorites. “Yay!”

  “Hey, Jacob, is that you?” A voice called from the front yard. Jacob’s friend Julian. “Can we come play basketball?” Julian came in the backyard.

  Jacob gave her a pleading look. “Can we play ball, Mommy?”

  Yvonne sighed and checked her watch. “You’ve got thirty minutes. Then you need to come in, take a bath, and eat dinner.”

  Jacob grinned again. “I can play!”

  Jacob ran over to open the fence, with its newly repaired latch, and Julian ran into the backyard with his older brother, basketball in his hands. They immediately took off for the goal on the far side of the yard.

  “Friends of his?” Richard asked.

  “At least twice during the week and all-day on the weekends if I’d let them. He has friends at my mom’s house, too. What can I say, my son is popular.”

  “I see that,” Richard replied.

  “I’m just glad they like to come over here and play. I can watch them and make sure nothing is going on.”

  “That’s a good thing. He’s a good kid.”

  Of course he was a good kid. She’d done everything to make him that way. He shouldn’t sound surprised about that. “He’s a great kid. A happy kid who knows his family loves and supports him.”

  “I know, Yvonne,” Richard said in a patient tone like a police officer trying to talk someone down from a ledge. Calm and collected. He’d done that before whenever he sensed her growing irritation. “You’ve done a great job with him. I wish I could have been here to help.” He met her eyes and stood close enough for her to smell his cologne mingled with sweat from playing. The smell sent an unexpected shiver across her skin.

  Yvonne took a step back from him. “Where is my mom?”

  Richard rubbed the back of his neck. He eased back as well. Had he sensed her reaction? Did he need space between them, too? “She said there was an emergency at the church.”

  “Did Lucifer himself show up? I wouldn’t think she’d leave Jacob here with you.”

  Richard’s smile said her words hadn’t hurt him. “She did mention the devil,” he said with a laugh.

  Y
vonne’s mouth curved up. They made eye contact. The shiver returned. Not good. There should be no shivers when talking to or looking at Richard. They were not attracted to each other and they were going to work together without bringing up or thinking about the way things used to be.

  She wiped the smile off her face. “I’ll call her later and ask about what happened.”

  “Just so you know she threatened to remove my intestines slowly and efficiently if I did anything to make him upset.”

  Yvonne laughed and shook her head. “That sounds like her.”

  “She sounded serious. She also said she didn’t think I would hurt him. That I didn’t remind her of the other assholes you’ve dated.”

  And just like that, any goodwill she had toward her mom was easily overshadowed by something she’d said. “Well, my mom is also familiar with sorry men.” Her dad included, but she wasn’t going there. Richard had heard her story, back when they were dating. He knew about her mother’s divorce after getting pregnant with Yvonne. “Well, thank you for staying with Jacob until I got home.” She turned and walked back to her car in the front.

  Richard followed. “It was no trouble. I had fun playing baseball with him.”

  “He loves playing all types of sports.”

  “Really? He seemed to sneer when I mentioned playing lacrosse in college.”

  Yvonne laughed. “He’s not familiar with lacrosse. Nathan loves baseball and his enthusiasm rubbed off on Jacob.”

  “Well, I’ll be sure to get him acquainted with other sports as well,” Richard said determination lining his voice like steel.

  He said it so comfortably. As if he would be sticking around long enough to do that. And, damn if his resolve didn’t make her feel warm and fuzzy inside. “Well . . . we’ll see.” She opened the back door of her car and grabbed the three plastic grocery bags out of the back.

  Richard immediately came forward and took the bags out of her hand. “Let me help.”

  His fingers entangled with hers as he took the bag. The current of awareness shot across her skin and Yvonne tried to pull the bags back.

  “I’ve got this. I know you have to go.”

  If Richard had felt the current his only indication was a smile that turned her warm and fuzzy into warm and tingly. “Who said I have to go?” He slipped the bags from her hands.

  “Don’t you have work to do?”

  “Jacob is more important. I like spending time with him.”

  “You’ve been here almost every day for the past few weeks.”

  “Yvonne, please, let me stay a little longer.” There was a hint of plea in his voice. His dark eyes as tempting as any Hershey bar she’d ever come across.

  Damn him for making her feel something. She wasn’t supposed to feel sorry for him, for the time he lost, and how desperate he must feel to make up for six years. “Fine.” She pulled out her purse and went into the house.

  Richard followed her into the kitchen. He unpacked the items from the plastic bags and placed them on the counters. She set aside the roll of pizza dough and jar of pizza sauce then grabbed an apron from the pantry and pulled it on over her clothes.

  “Aren’t you going to change and get comfortable before cooking?” Richard asked.

  Yvonne shook her head. “I like to get dinner started right away so Jacob doesn’t have to wait. I can change after dinner is made.”

  He glanced at her feet. “You cook in heels?”

  She looked down, back up, and shrugged. “Sometimes. Why?”

  “It’s damn impressive.”

  Heat spread up her cheeks. “Not really.” She pointed to a corner next to the door to the backyard. “I have bedroom slippers on standby.”

  Richard laughed. “You’re amazing.”

  She didn’t want to hear the compliment in his voice. She didn’t get comfortable before making dinner because on the days she did cook she started as soon as she came through the door. She’d had to. No one else was here to help.

  “I’m a mom doing what she needs to do.” She kicked off the heels and slipped her feet into the slippers.

  “What can I do to help?”

  “I’ve got it.”

  “I’m here. I can’t just do nothing and watch you cook.” He pointed to the lettuce, tomatoes, and other things she’d gotten for a salad. “I’ll cut the potatoes for the fries.”

  She couldn’t keep telling him no without appearing stubborn. “Fine. If you really want to do something.”

  They worked in silence for a few minutes then he asked, “How was your day?”

  Yvonne peered up from the pizza dough she was rolling out. “Why are you asking?”

  “For conversation,” he said with a patient smile.

  She felt a little silly. “My day was fine.”

  “Are you sure? Your mom seemed a little annoyed when she came here today.”

  Yvonne flattened the pizza dough with extra effort. “Listen, I love her, but my mom is often annoyed.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I’m going to mess up my life. My sister is working too much. The people at the church still treat her as if she should be wearing a scarlet letter. Her part-time job isn’t giving her enough time.”

  “Alright, those are a lot of reasons. I don’t understand the ‘mess up your life’ part.” Richard cut the skin off the potatoes in short, swift strokes. “You’re doing pretty good for yourself.”

  “She’d done pretty good for herself and still lost things.”

  “What are you going to lose?” he asked.

  “Nathan.” The answer was out without a second thought. She felt his eyes on her but didn’t look up.

  “Do you really think that’ll happen? You and Nathan have good chemistry. He loves you.” That last part sounded as if it were difficult for him to admit.

  Good. He needed to see she could make things work with someone else. That she hadn’t let his rejection close her up to relationships.

  “I wouldn’t be marrying him if he didn’t,” she replied.

  Richard shifted from foot to foot. He finished the first potato and moved to the second. “People get married for a lot of reasons. Not all of them have to do with love.” She wasn’t sure if he was referring to her and Nathan, or his marriage to Natalie.

  “Maybe so, but feeling something for the person you’re marrying tends to make things easier.”

  “So you do feel deeply about him?” He didn’t look at her when he asked.

  She stopped spreading the dough. “Remember what I said the other day? You don’t get to question my feelings for Nathan. That doesn’t have anything to do with what you and I work out with Jacob.”

  His eyes finally met hers. “I’m asking because I want you to be happy,” he said sincerely. “You deserve to be happy.”

  Her barely built up indignation fell and splattered like a tipped over paint can. Did that mean he didn’t care about her being in love with someone else? Bigger question, why did the thought of him not caring pinch just a little?

  Instead of answering him or focusing on her reaction, she spread the pizza sauce on the dough.

  “How was the rest of your day?” Richard asked after a few minutes of working in silence. He rinsed the potatoes in the sink. She flipped the switch on the deep fryer on the counter.

  She was hesitating. She didn’t want to do this. Things already felt too familiar with him. As if the years hadn’t passed at all. Not to mention she was hyper aware of him in her kitchen. In her space. The smell of his cologne hovered in the background. Back when they were dating she’d told him his cologne was more tempting than the smell of Sunday dinner after three hours in church.

  “Good. I’m spending most of my days working on decorating Sandra Covington’s home.”

  “Really? The radio host?” He finished washing the fries and watched her with interest.

  Yvonne shrugged. “Yeah, she saw me on the Housewives show and asked me to decorate her place.”

  “Damn, Yvo
nne, I always knew you’d go far. The television show is just the icing on your cake.”

  She turned away, so he wouldn’t see her smile. She’d finished adding the pepperoni and cheese to the pizza dough. “What’s cake without icing, huh?”

  “Sweet bread,” he said.

  They both laughed. It was like old times. Them joking and having fun together. Richard hurried over and opened the oven for her.

  Yvonne put the pizza in and quickly stepped out of the way while he closed the door. “Let me check out these fries you cut.”

  His deep chuckle made the shivers along her skin return. “Go ahead. I knew you’d have to. You always double checked my work.”

  Yvonne’s lips lifted in memory. “Well, you aren’t exactly a wiz in the kitchen.”

  “No, my talents are demonstrated in other rooms.”

  Her breathing hitched. The sexy comeback was what he’d always said when she teased him about his limited cooking skills. She glanced over her shoulder, but he wasn’t watching her. He’d walked to the back door and looked out at Jacob and his friend. Yvonne took a steady breath. Old habits were hard to break. Things were so comfortable with Richard that even their quips and teases came back with ease. Maybe he hadn’t noticed. Or maybe he didn’t want to make things any more awkward by acknowledging what he’d done.

  The light went from red to green on the deep fryer. She put the first batch of cut potatoes in the hot grease. When she focused on him again he leaned against the backdoor jamb with a sad lift in the corner of his lips.

  “Six years lost,” he whispered.

  He’d been wronged in this situation, too. Yes, he’d left her for Natalie, but she had known Richard. If he’d known and wanted to be a part of Jacob’s life he would have. People had worked to keep them apart. He’d been hurt and had missed out on so much.

  “You’ve got plenty of time to catch up,” she said.

  He looked at her. Their gazes locked. In his eyes she once again saw his promise to be there for the rest of his life. He really was back. Happiness and uncertainty formed a bubbly cocktail in her midsection.