Redesigning Happiness

by Nita Brooks

  Yvonne grinned as she sat in the chair next to Richard. Completely caught up in the rush of his competitiveness. Getting the best of Richard was something she’d never been able to resist. Watching the always composed and professional businessman let loose whenever they were together used to be the highlight of her day. Something she’d known he hadn’t been able to do with anyone else.

  “How about I sit down, and me and my sister can deliver you this beating.”

  Richard put his hand on the back of her chair and met her eyes. “You know you can’t beat me.” His voice lowered with his determination.

  Yvonne leaned closer to him. “How much you want to bet?”

  His stare lowered to her lips. The corner of his mouth tilted up wistfully. When he met her gaze again heat flashed in his eyes. “You can’t pay my price.”

  The fire that rushed through her veins was swift and intense. Her pulse quickened. Her breathing hitched. His wistful smile melted away. His eyes remained focused, searching, encouraged.

  Nathan placed his hands on Yvonne’s shoulders. “You know what. I don’t think it’s fair to put Yvonne and Valerie on the same team. They’re sisters and I’ve seen them play together. They cheat.” He squeezed Yvonne’s shoulders. “How about me and you partner up, baby. Let Richard play with Valerie.”

  Yvonne jerked her gaze away from Richard. Her sister’s face was blank. Too blank. Sharon hid a smile behind her hand. Rochelle looked like her head was about to explode.

  “Yes,” Rochelle said nodding frantically. “That’s a very good idea.”

  Heat rushed up Yvonne’s face. She placed her hand over Nathan’s. “Sure. Let’s show them what we’ve got.” Her voice sounded reedy and thin.

  Nathan squeezed her again then dropped his hands. “Good.” He went to the other side of the table and sat next to Valerie.

  Yvonne kept her eyes off Richard as he leaned back in his chair and picked up the deck of cards. “I’ll shuffle.”

  An air of awkwardness fell over the table as Richard shuffled the cards. Okay, she hadn’t meant to flirt with Richard. It just kind of happened. Richard was like an old couch. Familiar, comfortable, and hard to let go of even though it no longer fit the décor. Except, she wasn’t supposed to hold onto Richard. She’d let him go years ago. Painfully. Now she was ready to just . . . what? Fall back into what they’d had before? She couldn’t. She was engaged.

  “Okay, Richard, don’t hold me back,” Valerie said. “I will drag you for the rest of the day if you mess up this game.”

  “Don’t worry,” Richard said. “I know what I’m doing. You just bring your game today.”

  Yvonne relaxed and gave Valerie a grateful look. Valerie winked and lifted her chin. Awkward silence broken. The game started, and the trash talk commenced. Nathan hadn’t played spades often, but he was a decent player. Just not good enough to match up against her sister and Richard. She and Yvonne played similarly, so Richard easily picked up on her style and they beat the crap out of her and Nathan.

  Nathan’s mood deteriorated with each lost book. Yvonne tried to keep up his spirits, but Cassidy and Michael came over to watch the game while the kids went inside to play video games. Sharon and Rochelle quickly hurried to follow the kids and get away from the brewing storm of disappointment on the back porch.

  Cassidy’s tipsy flirtation with Michael didn’t do much to lighten the mood. By the end of the game, Yvonne tried to remain upbeat and laugh at the ridiculous claims of glory Valerie and Richard spewed; they were funny, but Nathan’s simmering silence made it hard for her to enjoy the game.

  “That was fun,” Yvonne said with false cheer when they lost.

  Nathan slid his card across the table. “A hoot,” he said in a bitter voice.

  Cassidy sat on the arm of the chair Michael relaxed in. She placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned in to him. “Want to drive me home?”

  Valerie’s eyes widened, and she looked back and forth from Cassidy to Nathan to Yvonne with blatant interest. She pointed at Cassidy and mouthed “Is she serious?” to Yvonne.

  “Where do you live?” Michael asked with a flirtatious smile.

  Nathan stood. “I’ll take you home.”

  Yvonne jumped up. “You’re leaving?”

  “I didn’t ask you to take me home,” Cassidy shot back to Nathan. When she got to her feet she wobbled. Apparently, Cassidy was a little more than tipsy.

  “I didn’t ask you to come here and act like this, either.” Nathan’s voice was hard. “What is wrong with you?”

  She pointed a finger at him. “You know good and damn well what’s wrong with me.”

  Yvonne rushed over to Cassidy. Maybe she could defuse the situation before it got further out of hand. “Hey, I can make you some coffee and you can lie down in my room for a little bit. You’ll be fine.”

  “Oh, now you’re on my case too. Nathan’s little miss perfect. You’re not perfect. We know you aren’t.” Cassidy’s finger swung from Nathan to Yvonne. “You’re sexing your ex-boyfriend with your eyes. See that, Nathan. Yvonne likes sex, too.”

  Yvonne sucked in a breath. Valerie jumped up from her seat. Yvonne held up a hand. She knew her sister was about to jump in and curse Cassidy out. Yvonne bit her tongue to keep from doing it herself. Cassidy was drunk and heartbroken. People did dumb crap when those two situations were combined. But that didn’t mean she had to put up with it.

  “You know what, Nathan,” she said slowly, suppressing the anger rising in her. “I think it is time for you to take Cassidy home.”

  Nathan ran a hand over his face. When he walked over, he ran his hand down her back. “Yvonne, don’t listen to her.”

  She stepped back. “Please, just sober her up. We can clear the air later.”

  Cassidy brought a hand to her mouth. Her eyes brimmed with tears. “Yvonne, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean . . .”

  “We’ll talk later, Cassidy,” she said.

  Nathan put his arm around Cassidy’s waist. “I’ll come back by later after I get her settled.”

  Yvonne nodded. They all were silent as Nathan took Cassidy into the house. Yvonne couldn’t look at Richard. What Cassidy said was rude, but true. What was wrong with her? Was she bound to mess up her own life the same way her mom had?

  “In-laws,” Michael said, throwing up his hands.

  Yvonne couldn’t help it, a laugh bubbled up. “She’s usually not that bad.”

  “Is he always that . . . fatherly?” Michael asked with a raised brow.

  She nodded and laughed harder. The ridiculousness of Nathan’s overprotective relationship with Cassidy seemed even more over-the-top after this little scene. “Sometimes worse.”

  Michael and Valerie joined in with the laughter. Yvonne’s humor died when she noticed Richard wasn’t laughing. Hell, he hadn’t even cracked a smile. He watched her. That same intense look he’d given her before the game.

  “I think it’s time to go,” Richard said. “Michael, will you tell Nadia and mom.”

  Michael leaned back on his heels. He watched them like a bookie considering the odds of a race. “Sure.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Valerie said quickly.

  Yvonne raised a brow at her sister. Valerie gave her a thumbs up and mouthed “I like him.” She pointed at Richard.

  What the hell? Was her sister encouraging her to choose Richard? Was it even a choice?

  “You should fix a plate or something before leaving,” she said, after Valerie and Michael left. “I’ll go start.”

  She tried to go past him. His hand shot out and gently clasped her arm right above the elbow. He eased her closer to him until her shoulder brushed his chest.

  “Richard, look, about earlier.”

  “I don’t care about earlier. I care about you admitting how you feel about me.” He said it easily. As if he were telling a subordinate they needed to turn in a report by the end of the day. As if his words weren’t to be ignored.

  “I’m marrying Nathan.
What I feel about you is just affection for what we once were to each other.”

  “That can’t be all,” he said incredulously.

  She swallowed hard. “It is all.” That’s all it had to be.

  He took several deep breaths. “But you don’t love him.”

  Her eyes narrowed, and her head jerked up so she could glare at him. “I’m marrying him. Everything between us was great until you showed up. Don’t even try to tell me what I’m feeling.”

  His nearness sent sparks across her skin. Yvonne sucked in a breath but didn’t back away.

  “If you loved him,” he said in a low, rumbling voice. His hand lifted, and his fingers lightly traced her bottom lip. “You wouldn’t look at me like that.”

  Yvonne jerked back. She drew her lower lip into her mouth. The fleeting touch echoed throughout her body. In the erratic beat of her heart, the desire spreading through her system like a virus. The flare of triumph in his eyes made her want to wipe the smug smile off his face.

  “The way you used to look at me,” she said. “Right before you went back to Natalie. Your dad may have lied about Jacob, but you made your choice long before he made that decision. Don’t talk to me about love. Not when you never loved me in the first place.”

  The pain on his face mirrored the pain ripping through her heart. Fighting back the need to push him for stirring things up, she hurried past him and went into the house. Richard had broken her heart once. She wouldn’t let him break it again.

  * * *

  The knock on her door later that night wasn’t unexpected. Yvonne expected Nathan to show up and apologize for earlier. He’d texted and said Cassidy felt horrible, she wasn’t in a good place, and he was going to stay the night with her. She’d secretly hoped he would find a way to break away and come see her.

  She needed to see Nathan. Kiss him. Touch him. Be reminded of all the things they were before Richard had come back and mixed up her life.

  After everyone left, she’d showered, watched television with Jacob—who talked nonstop about how cool his sister was, for a girl—then settled on the couch with a glass of wine after he’d gone to bed. She was half-heartedly watching a horror movie on Netflix. No romance for her. Her love life was almost as screwed up as the people onscreen. She didn’t need that.

  She opened her door and bit her lip. Richard stood on her porch. He hadn’t changed like she had. The dark shirt and shorts hugging his perfect body. His gaze slid over her then darkened. Her stomach flipped, and she quickly crossed her arms over her chest.

  “What are you doing here, Richard?” she’d thought her words would have kept him away longer. She needed him to stay away longer.

  “We need to talk.” His voice was calm. Even. His corporate voice.

  “You can’t just pop up like this. What if Nathan were here?”

  “I would have kept driving if I saw his car. This conversation needs to be between me and you. No one else. It’s time to clear the air.”

  She wanted to deny him. Send him packing with the accusation she’d tossed out earlier. Instead she stepped back. They did need to set some things straight. “Fine.”

  He followed her into the living room. They’d been alone in here before in the days he’d visited Jacob. Today felt different. His presence consumed the room. The faint smell of his cologne hung in the air, surrounding her. The attraction he’d mentioned weeks ago hung out between them. Anxious and bouncing to be acknowledged like a smart kid in school with their hand raised.

  Talking this out had been a bad idea.

  Yvonne headed toward the dining room table. He took her elbow. The feel of his strong grip sent fissures of heat up her arm and down into the depths of her.

  “We’re not treating this discussion like a business meeting,” he said in a firm voice. “We’ll sit on the couch.”

  “We don’t have to be cozy,” she snapped.

  The corner of his lips lifted. “Are you afraid of me?”

  Scared out of her mind. Not of him, but of the way he made her feel. Vulnerable, breathless, sexually aware. She slid her arm out of his grasp.

  “No.” Belatedly she realized she sounded like a petulant teenager who refused to admit to any type of fear.

  “Then we’ll sit on the couch.”

  Richard settled on one end. Yvonne didn’t care that he smiled when she tucked herself into the other corner. Well, maybe a little. Her arms crossed tightly, and she glared.

  “Talk.”

  Richard rubbed his jaw and sighed. “I need to talk to you about Natalie.”

  Her head drew back. That wasn’t what she expected. She had zero interest in hearing about Natalie. In fact, she’d rather sit through a lecture on the structure of concrete than talk about his ex-wife.

  “That’s unnecessary,” Yvonne said.

  “I need to. The way she lied about you was uncalled for, but there’s more to the story.”

  Yvonne held up her hand. “As much as I hate what she did, a part of me gets it.” She didn’t like Natalie, really didn’t like her, but she could understand her resentment, too. “I was the other woman. It doesn’t matter that you’d broken up with her. We met the same day. She had a right to be upset.”

  “She didn’t have a right to hide our child from me.”

  Yvonne stood and paced across the room. “No, she didn’t, but me coming back would’ve ruined things with you two. Resentment makes people do crazy things.”

  “Our engagement wasn’t because we loved each other. It was a business arrangement.” Richard said in his cool, corporate voice. “We both knew marriage would convince her father to merge with my family’s business. I cared about her, but I didn’t love her.”

  She forced herself to face him and say what she’d never admitted out loud before. “You say that now, but you had to have loved her a little to ask her.”

  “My brother loves to pick up a new woman every month and have fun, but I hate everything about dating. The awkward dinners, uncomfortable first kisses, and the whole get-to-know-you back and forth. Natalie and I were already comfortable with each other. Marrying her to secure our business also kept my parents off my case about settling down and stopped Michael from dragging me to bars.” His voice was matter-of-fact. “I’m not proud of my reasons for asking her, but you have to understand love wasn’t part of it. I thought everything in my life would go well after that, but in my heart I knew I couldn’t go through with it. Then I met you right after we split, and everything changed. All my plans for a nice, easy future were shattered the second I heard you laugh. I thought maybe I’d been hasty, so I didn’t cut communication when Natalie kept calling me. Possible reconciliation always hovered in the background, but I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”

  Her pulse pounded like wild horses in her veins. “You make it sound like I stole you from her.”

  “From the second I broke the engagement, I wasn’t hers to steal. Why do you think I came back to that coffee house?”

  “Because you like poetry.”

  “Because I hoped you would be there. You teased me about my suits. Didn’t laugh at my bad attempts to write a poem. Gave me something to look forward to after a long day. I was happy.”

  “I know the rest of this story, Richard. I didn’t like it the first time and I don’t want to relive it.” She didn’t want to think about how happy they’d once been. That happiness hadn’t lasted.

  He stood abruptly. “The thing is, because Natalie and I remained friends after we split, she didn’t like it when she learned about you. When she realized she was pregnant, that’s when she made the ultimatum. Her and my child or you. I couldn’t walk away from my child. But even though I made my choice, she saw I couldn’t get you out of my mind. She’s still angry. On the day of our divorce, she accused me of planning to run back to you, and you know what, even if there hadn’t been Jacob, I knew I wouldn’t have been able to not look you up.”

  Yvonne turned away from him. “You ignored me, told me t
o go away—”

  “Do you know how hard it is to walk away from the only woman you love because of obligation?”

  The words pounded into her resolve. She took a deep breath, forced herself to stroll casually over to the pictures of Jacob hanging on her wall. To not let his words make her believe they could forget everything and go back. He could hurt her so much. She never wanted to feel that pain again.

  “I don’t know, Richard, how hard is it?” She forced sarcasm into her voice. “Is it as hard as having the father of the man you love pay you to stay away?”

  He moved closer to her. He smelled faintly of the smoke from the grill along with his own unique scent. His nearness made her burn as if she were sitting by a fire.

  “That was a mistake I want to make up for.” He took a deep breath. “I want you back.”

  She shook her head. Not wanting to hear the words or feel the jump in her pulse the words created. “I told you there is no going back.”

  “Then let’s move forward.” He eased even closer.

  Sparks shot across her skin. Her pulse increased in anticipation. Yvonne held up a hand. “Richard, we didn’t work before and we won’t work now. This is just old attraction stirring up. Not something worth breaking up our lives over.” She needed to remember that. Believe that.

  The words didn’t lessen the determination in his eyes. “Circumstances and bad decisions broke us last time. What we felt for each other wasn’t a lie and it wasn’t frivolous. We can get that back.”

  “I don’t want that back. I don’t want to feel that way again. It hurts too much when it goes away, and let’s face it, Richard, you’ll go away.”

  Long fingers wrapped around her elbow. He caressed her cheek with his fingertips. “I thought of you nearly every day for the past five years. No matter how hard I tried to move on I couldn’t forget you, or our time together. If I get you back, Yvonne, believe me when I say I won’t let you go so easily.”

  His voice was deep, determined, and so damn sexy. His head lowered and his lips brushed hers. The familiar shock of his kiss was like an arrow of nostalgia to her chest. The memories and need so acute she was seconds from falling back into old habits.