Snow Regrets
Page 12
As he got himself situated, I turned on the movie. When he finally settled down, his bottom was on the couch beside me with the rest of his body draped over me or wrapped around me. “Lie back a bit.”
He was nearly twisted like a pretzel. As he lay back on the armrest, I leaned into it so he was still tucked against my chest. “That’s better.”
As the old cartoons began to play, I brought the cup to his lips. Joey sighed and snuggled even closer before opening his mouth. Sucking in a slow steady rhythm and watching the TV, his body lost the last of his stress until there was nothing but smiles and happiness radiating from him.
After a few episodes of cartoons that had been old when I was little, his milk was done and he was starting to wiggle and stroke my arm. Taking that as a hint he was ready to switch activities, I paused the movie. “Are your toys waiting for you?”
He turned that innocent smile at me and nodded. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Okay, you play and I’ll start getting lunch ready.” Kissing his forehead, I couldn’t help the way my heart ached as he gave me a hug before sliding off the couch, giggling and stretching out by his toys.
There was a big part of me that wanted to know what worries or questions had been filling his head earlier, but I knew I might never find that out. He was a fascinating mix of honesty and nervous secrets and as much as I wanted to know every single thought in his head, that wasn’t reasonable.
No matter what kind of relationship we had.
****
“What are you reading?” Joseph’s voice coming from the floor pulled me away from the article I was reading.
He’d been curled up in a blanket fort reading for the past hour, hardly moving.
“I thought we weren’t going to talk about book preferences? You got very squirmy when I asked about yours. Science fiction must have changed in the last few years for it to make you that nervous.” I grinned when he groaned and ducked back inside his little fort.
Chuckling, I set my tablet down. “Well, since I have nothing to be embarrassed about, unlike some people, I don’t mind sharing.”
One of the pillows he’d been snuggling came flying in my general direction, but since he was still hiding, it didn’t quite make it. “I can’t tell if you’re just embarrassed or if you’re trying to earn that spanking you’ve probably been reading about.”
His groan said I’d hit the mark fairly close.
He’d always liked space adventures, but I was pretty sure these days he could find them with a bit more action than they’d used to come with.
“You’re evil.” His groan and the level of drama radiating from him said he didn’t mind.
“I don’t know about that. I’m just responding to how naughty you are.” When another groan came from the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor, I just laughed.
“I was just curious, old man.”
Someone was feeling feisty. It must’ve been a very good book indeed.
“I downloaded a few articles on some of the hospitals in this region before I left civilization. I’m trying to get a feel for how they’re run and what they might be like. I’ve got a few interviews coming up at the beginning of the year and I wanted to get more details before I went in.” But finding unbiased information was difficult.
His head peeked out and he sat up in his little nest inside the fort. “Is it helpful?”
I shrugged. “Not really. For the most part, I’m just finding very one-sided articles. This place is great or these people are Satan. Passionate but unhelpful.”
When he started to wiggle and stretch, I shifted on the couch and opened my arms. “Come here.”
His cheeks pinked, but he squirmed out of his mound of pillows and blankets. “I’m not little or overly emotional.”
That didn’t mean we couldn’t cuddle, though.
I scoffed. “As if I need a reason to cuddle you.”
He might have blushed deeper, but his smile gave a different story. “Forest is just as bossy as Daddy.”
I laughed quietly as he climbed up on my lap. “I’m not suffering from some kind of multiple personality disorder.”
Joseph burrowed his head in my chest. “That’s not what I meant.”
Wrapping my arms around him, I stretched out on the couch and started stroking his back. “I’m just teasing. Yeah, it can seem that way sometimes, but it’s really all the same picture. You’re just focusing in on different parts every time you look at it.”
He nodded then rolled over so he was lying on me, his chest pressing against mine. It was impossible not to react, but I ignored it as I ran my hand over his head and down his back.
“Are you thinking about getting a job close by?” His fingers were making slow circles on my side. It wasn’t enough to tickle, but there was no way to ignore the gentle caress.
“Yeah, the past few years have been…well, I’m ready to settle down again.” The past few years had been long and dark at times, but I wasn’t going to ruin the moment and stress out my cuddly boy. He’d had enough of that in his life already.
“The nomadic lifestyle gets to you after a while.” I kissed his head, running my fingers through his hair. It wasn’t long, but there was just enough to play with and it was relaxing.
“I think I’m ready for a more traditional job again, but I hadn’t decided where I wanted to settle.” When the world was wide open, narrowing down what to do could be difficult.
“Don’t you have a family?” I could feel the tension building in him. “I mean, I thought you said they didn’t react badly?”
“They didn’t, but they were killed about five years ago. We had an older house and carbon monoxide detectors were never installed, so when there was a problem with the furnace they never had a chance.” At the time it felt like a cosmic joke. With no one to blame, understanding why it had happened had been even more difficult.
He hugged me tight. “I’m sorry.”
Kissing his head, I smiled. “Thank you. But they were both an only child and the few relatives I know of are all fairly distant. So there’s no one I really want to live near.”
“I’m sorry you don’t have more family around, but I’m glad that means you’re looking here first.” As he relaxed back against me, his sweet caresses started again.
“It’s familiar and I have friends here.” I gave him another kiss to let him know I was counting him among those friends. “And now that I know someone with a vacation home in the mountains, that sweetens the deal even more.”
His chest jerked up and down in silent laughter.
“Not having to find another place to vacation in the winter is going to save me a ton.” I trailed my fingers down his neck, tickling him faintly. As he squirmed, I grinned and continued to tease. “As long as I’m welcome, that is. There’s a rumor going around that I’m going to be kicked out as soon as the roads clear.”
His giggles finally escaped as I tickled him. “Stop that…you’re cheating.” More laughter bubbled out. “Stay. Don’t leave. Stay.”
Torture might not always lead to accurate information, but I was pretty sure tickle torture wasn’t in the same category. Going back to simply caressing, I smiled. “Why, thank you. I would enjoy that, as my time is still very flexible.”
He huffed, but I could hear the smile in his voice. “Evil and bossy and manipulative.”
Grinning, I kissed his head. “Keep saying sweet things like that and I’m going to remember I haven’t let you explore the wonders of being spanked yet.”
That earned me another embarrassed groan, but he also shifted his hips just enough that I knew he was trying to make his erection more comfortable. Ignoring it would be the most gracious response, but I wanted him to get more comfortable talking about it with me.
Even if we never delved into that part of the lifestyle, I wanted him to be able to talk and joke about it with me. I’d never know how he was doing later if he hid things like that. “What did I say about self-pleasure?”
I tried to keep my voice even, but holding back so much was difficult.
When he blushed and shook his head but didn’t pull away or safeword, I kept going. “Do you need to adjust your erection?” I ran my fingers through his hair and down his back. “I want you to be comfortable while we talk.”
We weren’t going to ignore his reaction and I wasn’t going to let him escape the conversation either.
Joseph was still for several long seconds before he shook his head. I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. Old man hearing, I guess.”
He barked out a laugh then sighed. “No, and I’m fine.”
Short but accurate answers.
“Good—I’ll get too distracted worrying about if your cock is hard and jammed awkwardly in your briefs.” Yes, I was evil, but he was cute.
And it wasn’t like he was complaining.
Just blushing.
And groaning.
He was so funny.
“Are you feeling okay?” I was fighting off a smile as he huffed and lifted his head.
“You’re just mean.” There was something about his disgruntled expression that made it impossible to hold back my laughter.
He rolled his eyes and lay back down, deliberately wiggling his ass that time.
So I did the only thing a self-respecting Dom would do.
I smacked it.
“Naughty sub.” I gave in to temptation and stroked over the cheek I’d spanked before pulling my hand back. “No humping the furniture.”
That had him burying his head between my arm and the back of the couch as he made an embarrassed noise. “No dying because you suffocated either.”
He huffed but made a show of breathing deeply.
I didn’t even try to hide how entertaining I found him. “Good boy.”
My good boy…for a few more days, at least.
Chapter 14
Joseph
“Stop wiggling.” Daddy would’ve looked more ferocious if he hadn’t rolled his eyes and huffed.
So, of course, I had to wiggle more—that just seemed to be a rule because he was taking forever to get us ready to go outside. I’d already been waiting for hours. Breakfast and getting ready had taken years.
“But, Daddy—” It was perfect snowman building weather. We had to get out before it got cloudy and too cold again.
“No buts or it’s going to be your butt.” He was trying to be stern, but the implied threat to spank me just made me want to wiggle more. “You are not going to go outside without being properly dressed.”
That was sweet. He was a good Daddy, but that didn’t help to distract me.
It made me sit still long enough for him to zip my coat and put my gloves on, though. I wanted to play, not think about spankings. Daddy finally smiled and smoothed my hat down even more. “Okay, all done.”
Finally.
“But the hat?” I pouted up at him. It was itchy on my head and I hated hats, but that hadn’t stopped him from digging through his suitcase to find a second one for me.
Daddy narrowed his eyes at me and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Never mind.” I blinked up at him innocently. “I’ll be good.”
At least for as long as it took him to get his coat and boots on.
When he was finally ready, I grabbed his hand and raced out the door. “Hurry, we have to find the right spot.”
Daddy was just smiling and shaking his head. He clearly didn’t see the importance of finding the perfect location. “No, that one’s too tilty. He’ll fall.”
Our snowman would have to be safe. That meant flat ground.
As we went around the back of the cabin, Daddy pointed to a shady spot, and I frowned. “No, he can’t see in the windows from there. He’ll be lonely.”
That should have been obvious.
“Right here.” As we went around toward the living room side of the cabin, I knew it was perfect. “Here, Daddy.”
I started piling up snow, but Daddy looked around like it was some kind of engineering project. “Let me go get the shovel. That might help get bigger piles.”
After promising to be good while he was gone, no wandering into the woods or taking off my hat, Daddy went to get the snow shovel from the shed. He was right. It did make bigger piles. But it still took a lot of effort to get the piles to be round and perfect for our snowman.
So much effort that after a while, even the idea of throwing a snowball at him seemed like hard work. Next time we came out I was going to tackle him into the ground and throw snow all over him. I had big plans…after my arms recovered.
I couldn’t decide if snow was heavier than I’d remembered or if I was just getting old, but it felt like I’d worked a twenty-four-hour shift by the time it was done. But it was worth it because while he was a little bit ugly, he was our snowman.
“Come on, I think it’s time to get you warm.” Daddy looked down and frowned at my wet gloves as he took my hand. “And it’s clearly time to get you dry too. These are soaking wet.”
Maybe just a little.
And my socks might be a little wet too. Somehow the snow always seemed to wiggle inside the boots no matter how careful I was.
“But you’re going to find him a better face, right?” I gave Daddy a pleading look. The sticks on his face were okay, but if we wanted to make him pretty, he needed a real smile and better eyes. “Right, Daddy?”
“Yes, we’ll look for buttons or something inside that will work.” I thought about pouting to make him do it now, but as we went up to the porch, I started to realize how cold I was. Maybe Daddy was right.
“Stomp your feet off. We don’t need to track the snow inside.” As Daddy started to brush the snow off my head and coat, a rumbling noise came from the road.
The plow.
Somehow knowing we weren’t stuck anymore had my little side completely retreating back into my head. Forest must have seen something on my face because he smiled and tugged off my hat so he could hug me and kiss my head before moving us into the cabin.
“I’m pretty sure you told me yesterday that you weren’t going to chase me off. Have you changed your mind?” His voice was teasing and light as he started taking off my gloves and coat, but I wasn’t sure if that was just for my benefit or not.
“No, but you might’ve.” As the coat slipped off my arms, I forced myself to step back and look into his eyes even though all I wanted to do was hide against him. “I know being here with me wasn’t what you’d planned.”
Just because he’d adapted to the situation didn’t mean he’d want to stay. Sure, I knew he’d had fun being my Daddy for a few days, I wasn’t going to downplay that, but now things had changed. “The guy who does the driveway will be here in a few hours tops.”
We’d had the same old guy plowing the driveway since I could remember. It was one of the few expenses I’d never complained about.
“I might not have planned it out this way, but I wouldn’t change a second of it.” Forest tossed my coat to the floor, wrapping his arms around me as he kept his eyes locked with mine. “I will give you your privacy if that’s what you want, but you’re going to have to flat-out tell me to leave first because I have no intention of going anywhere.”
For some reason my throat seemed to tighten, but I swallowed past the lump to get the words out. “Because you like being my Daddy?”
He smiled. It was happy, but there was something tender behind it. “Because I like you. Period. No qualifications.”
Fuck.
I wished he’d meant that the way I wanted him to.
I knew it was wrong, but somewhere over the last few days, I found myself forgetting the reality of the situation. He wasn’t my boyfriend or lover…he was my temporary Daddy. I forced a smile. “Because I’m a fascinating friend.”
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��d been trying to lighten the mood, but Forest shook his head as that tender look turned more serious. Seconds passed by in complete silence as he stripped off his gloves and coat, watching me with those eyes that always seemed to see too much.
When his outerwear joined mine on the floor, he stepped closer and cupped my cheek. A shiver went through me. I told myself it was just a reaction to his cold fingers, but the way my heart clenched made it difficult to believe.
“Because you have grown up to be a beautiful man with a tender heart and an indomitable spirit. You refused to be crushed by the hand you were dealt. It could’ve made you angry and bitter, but the man standing before me is loving and searching to understand who he is.” Forest’s thumb stroked down my cheek, sending another shiver through me.
I couldn’t have pulled away even if I’d wanted to. It was like the world had stopped turning and we were the only two people left.
“You’ve made a wonderful life for yourself and I’m so impressed with your plans and everything you’ve accomplished.” He paused, looking deep into my eyes again before smiling and cupping my cheek with his hand.
As his fingers held me and he continued to speak, I found myself fighting back tears. “Your little side is sweet, but there’s a bit of teasing brat that comes out who just makes me want to smile.”
He just didn’t understand what he was doing to me.
When he kept going, I found myself pushing back a flood of emotion, but the dam was starting to break. “I know that when you finally fall for a Dom and submit, you’re going to be a devoted, passionate submissive who puts the man he loves before everything else.”
His questioning look said he was waiting for me to respond, but it was like everything was trapped inside me. How was I supposed to talk about a hypothetical Dom who’d never be as perfect as my Daddy when the man I loved was standing right in front of me?
Forest leaned in and kissed my forehead. “When you stormed out of your car the other day, it was like a two-by-four hit me right between the eyes. You were angry and sexy and so frustrated, all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around you and promise you everything would be alright.”