Speaking for Myself

by Sarah Huckabee Sanders

  To this day I am not sure why I felt comfortable making that joke in my first of hundreds of phone calls with the President of the United States, but I think it put him at ease with me early on.

  The West Wing of the White House is grand, but much smaller than you might think. Only a small number of the president’s staff actually work there. The vast majority of White House staff have offices in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building across the street from the West Wing. The offices in the West Wing are highly coveted. People are happy to cram into space no larger than a walk-in closet just to be in close proximity to the president. The White House press staff is based in the West Wing and the Upper Press office is in the heart of it all—just down the hall from the Oval Office, across from the Roosevelt Room, where the president and key administration officials often meet, and next to the Cabinet Room, where all cabinet meetings and many of the president’s visits with foreign leaders take place. Also in the West Wing is the Navy Mess—a dining room for senior staff, which has a pickup window to order take-out. I can count on one or two hands the number of opportunities I actually had enough time to sit and have a meal in the Navy Mess dining room during my two and a half years in the White House. Nearly all my meals were from the pickup window and eaten on the run. The Navy Mess is operated by the incredible men and women of the US Navy, who also prepare the meals for the president and first lady. The food is outstanding, and their burger is my favorite in Washington.

  Across from the Navy Mess is the Situation Room, home to the most secure communications systems in the White House complex, where matters of war and peace often get decided. The chief of staff’s office is also down the hall from the Oval Office, and has a beautiful outdoor patio. The chief of staff and the press secretary’s office are the only two staff offices in the West Wing with working wood-burning fireplaces. After I became press secretary, I made sure we got use out of that fireplace for the better part of the year, and we even made s’mores in it once—which I now know is frowned upon by the GSA team that maintains the White House complex. I blamed Hope Hicks—it was all her idea. We had just gotten through a tough week and she decided the team could use a little pick-me-up, so she brought in all of the necessary ingredients and we threw a party in my office and made s’mores. Aside from being a very close confidante of the president, Hope became one of my best friends in Washington. She is absolutely beautiful inside and out, and is a good and loyal person. Hope was one of the first to join the president’s campaign and not only survived but proved herself. It was no accident that Hope basically could choose whatever job she wanted inside the White House and ended up with Dan Scavino in an office right next door to the Oval Office. I loved working with Hope and so did the president. Also on the main floor of the West Wing is the national security advisor’s office as well as two deputy chiefs of staff and Senior Advisor Jared Kushner’s offices. Most of the remaining senior White House staff, including the White House counsel, national economic council director, Senior Advisor Ivanka Trump, Senior Advisor Stephen Miller, and Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway had offices upstairs in the West Wing.

  * * *

  Less than a month into the job, President Trump fired his national security advisor Mike Flynn for not being more forthcoming with Vice President Mike Pence about his perfectly legal contacts with his Russian counterparts during the transition. Little did we know at the time, Flynn had been set up by the FBI as part of a sinister plot to take down the president and overturn the results of the 2016 election. In the aftermath, I traveled with President Trump to the “Winter White House,” Mar-a-Lago, his exclusive and glamorous private club and residence in Palm Beach. On the way there I did my first “gaggle” on Air Force One. Gaggles are question-and-answer sessions that are not as formal as a briefing, but give reporters a chance to ask questions of a senior administration official and oftentimes the president himself. Gaggles have become more common in the Trump administration—the president does a gaggle nearly every time the press is in the Oval Office or he is coming from and going to Marine One on the South Lawn at the White House. Senior staff often gaggle when they finish a television interview in front of the White House. I always stopped and took questions from the media after I did a television interview on the driveway in front of the West Wing. Many in the press didn’t like to admit it, but we were regularly accessible to take their questions during my time in the White House.

  That first day at Mar-a-Lago, I was headed to meet some colleagues for lunch and when I walked into the lobby, President Trump, Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, and Chief Strategist Steve Bannon were there interviewing General H. R. McMaster for the national security advisor job. The president called me over to join them. As we were wrapping up, the president mentioned he wanted to bring the press in to see that he was interviewing candidates. I was concerned this would create problems and wasn’t sure a photo op was a good idea, so I privately shared my concerns with Bannon that a photo op with the president and McMaster—who had not yet been offered the job—was going to lead to questions about whether he was the front-runner. “We’re getting killed by the media over this fake Russia BS,” I said. “If it’s going to be McMaster, let’s announce him now and change the news cycle.” Bannon said he wasn’t sure if the president had made a decision, but either way he didn’t like the idea of announcing it now or doing it at Mar-a-Lago.

  The president called us into the library, a small private bar area off the main patio, and asked for our input. Bannon, Priebus, and General Keith Kellogg, who was also under consideration for the position, all said they liked General McMaster. The president turned to me and asked me what he should do. I said, “If you’re going with McMaster, you should announce it today. Right now it’s wall-to-wall negative coverage about Russia. Let’s change the narrative and make it a positive story about McMaster.” Bannon wasn’t pleased that I had suggested this directly to the president, but Reince and Kellogg were on board. The president said, “I like it. I’m good with McMaster.” Then he turned to General Kellogg and said, “Keith, I want you involved. I want you to be part of his team. Let’s do it. Sarah, go set it up.”

  I immediately called Spicer, who was at a park with his kids back in Alexandria, Virginia. “The president decided on McMaster for national security advisor, and he’s about to announce it.”

  “When?” Spicer asked.

  “Now.”

  I told him we only had about fifteen minutes. He hung up and got the team working on a formal press release and prepping for any questions we thought might follow the announcement. I quickly called the White House advance team and asked them to get the lobby at Mar-a-Lago set up for a news conference and to gather the press pool.

  The announcement went well and the plan worked. McMaster was a widely respected general and immediately went about assembling a strong team, which included Deputy National Security Advisor Dina Powell, a tough veteran of the George W. Bush administration, State Department, and Wall Street, as well as Sarah Flaherty and Michael Anton to handle NSA communications. Sarah was an active-duty navy helicopter pilot and communications specialist and Michael was a veteran of the George W. Bush administration who had anonymously written the acclaimed After the Flight 93 Election, making the case for President Trump during the 2016 election when so many Republican foreign policy experts had opposed him. Dina had already become one of the strongest forces in the building and also one of the more fun people to be around. Both Sarah and Michael were tremendous assets to the NSC and White House communications team, and there’s no way we could have done our jobs effectively without them.

  From day one after his press briefing about the crowd size at the president’s inauguration, Spicer was under intense fire, both from reporters and his detractors inside the West Wing. Spicer and I had become good friends in just a short time in the White House. He worked hard, and as a member of the US Navy and now in the White House he was dedicated to serving our country. But his hot, Irish temper
and the way he toyed with the media didn’t earn him any friends in the White House press corps. They sensed blood in the water after that first briefing. Many of them hated Spicer and wanted to take him down.

  Less than six weeks into the administration, the Associated Press ran a profile on me and the Drudge Report linked to it with the headline “A Star Is Born.” It was becoming clear that some senior White House staff not aligned with the Priebus-Spicer RNC faction were pushing for me to take on Spicer’s role, which was beginning to create an uncomfortable dynamic in the press office.

  The day after my first on camera press briefing from the White House, Bryan and I went to White House Communications Director Mike Dubke and his wife Shannon’s Kentucky Derby party at their beautiful home in Alexandria. Mike had become a friend, and his Kentucky Derby party is one of the best on the Washington party circuit. Shannon is from Kentucky and pulls out all the stops to make it a southerner’s Derby paradise—mint juleps, roses galore, a line to place bets, fascinators and bright-colored pants on all partygoers, and multiple tables full of southern delicacies. The guests include a who’s who of Washington insiders—senior White House staff, media, lobbyists, and political consultants mingling about. We’d been there less than an hour when Reince pulled me into the garage to talk to the president on the phone. It was difficult to hear very well over the course of the nearly hourlong call because the garage was full of caterers preparing food and walking in and out, but the president’s message was loud and clear when he said, “Sarah—you’re doing all the briefings next week.” I had no idea what to say to the president, or how I was going to explain this to Spicer, who was also at the party. Reince and I both tried to talk him back, suggesting that maybe we both do a couple, but he wasn’t having it. The president’s mind was made up.

  About forty-eight hours later President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey. I had no advance warning—and found out about it just a few minutes before Comey and the rest of the world did. The initial reaction to the president’s decision was not good. The media was hyperventilating as if the apocalypse was upon us. Not long after the news broke the president called me, Spicer, Dubke, Hope, and Kellyanne into the back dining room off the Oval Office. This was the place the president spent most of his time working when he wasn’t in formal meetings in the Oval. In the back dining room there was a large table with six chairs around it and typically piles of newspapers, magazines, and briefing notes the president read through. Decorating the walls were a famous painting of former presidents with President Trump added in and a UFC championship belt. On the bureau were hundreds of challenge coins given to the president by members of the military, MAGA hats waiting to be signed, a bust of Benjamin Franklin, and a large glass jar of only red and pink Starbursts (the president’s favorites), a gift from House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy. There was a large-screen television on one wall and an intricate gold and wood mirror on the other behind the head of the table where the president sat. A beautiful crystal chandelier personally selected by the president lit the room.

  The president was in his chair at the head of the table unhappy with the negative coverage of his firing of Comey. He wanted his team out there telling his side of the story and defending his decision. We told him we would handle it, walked out of the dining room, and called a few other colleagues together, including Alexa Henning, who handled all the booking for the White House staff. We told Alexa to call the shows that were on live now and let them know that White House officials were coming out to Pebble Beach, the driveway of the White House where all of the television cable and broadcast stations have live shots set up. Spicer, Kellyanne, and I divided up the shows that were live and in the hallway outside the Roosevelt Room we quickly discussed our talking points. It was so rushed none of us had time for hair and makeup so I borrowed makeup from another colleague and used the hallway mirror to apply powder, blush, a little mascara, and lip gloss before my live TV appearance in just a few minutes.

  I was assigned to do Tucker Carlson’s show on Fox News. It was a total free-for-all on the driveway that night. I was the first to finish and when I did and was making my way back to the West Wing entrance I was swarmed by press wanting additional commentary from the White House. I answered a question or two and made my way back inside the building. I knew Spicer and Kellyanne would experience even more of a frenzy around them so I told one of the staffers to meet Spicer on the sidewalk and let him know so he would be prepared when he came around the corner. The sidewalk is bordered by a large row of hedges that block it from the main driveway. Spicer paused behind the hedges to get the update from the staffer and make sure there was nothing new he needed to know before he faced the crowd of anxious reporters. When he eventually stepped around the bushes he asked the press to follow him under the awning so they wouldn’t be in the dark. Spicer stood there and took several questions before coming back inside. The pause behind the bushes to get an update from a staffer led some in the press to falsely accuse Spicer of hiding in the bushes and refusing to take their questions. It was an unbelievably unfair attack. Spicer had done no such thing and had in fact taken their questions, but they wanted to make fun of him so they didn’t let the truth get in the way of another fake news story.

  By morning all of Washington was in total meltdown over the Comey firing and I was scheduled to do only my second on-camera White House press briefing. I was anxious, to put it mildly. I knew this was a big moment for the administration and I had to nail it. We spent the entire morning prepping, but I still couldn’t calm my nerves. I told my team I needed a second to clear my head and stepped into my office for a moment of quiet time. On the day of my very first briefing I started a practice that I would carry with me even to this day. I read the daily devotional from the book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I opened the book to May 10 and the first sentence grabbed my attention:

  Do not resist or run from the difficulties in your life. They are hand-tailored blessings designed for your benefit and growth. Embrace all the circumstances that I allow in your life. View problems as opportunities to rely more fully on me. When you start to feel stressed, let those feelings alert you to your need for me.

  The words calmed me immediately and I knew I was as ready as I would ever be. At the bottom of the devotional page I wrote this prayer: “Thank you God for the challenges in my life and for the reminder to be fully reliant on you. God help me to lean on you in all my answers, to be smart, patient, and honest.” As soon as I closed the book, I walked back into the office where the team was gathered and said I was ready.

  I went to the podium to brief, and opened by wishing my daughter, Scarlett, a happy birthday. I’m sure Scarlett appreciated it, but it did nothing to lower the temperature in the briefing room, which was standing room only. The briefing room is actually much smaller than it looks on TV. It has only forty-nine chairs but that day the room was jam-packed with reporters standing on top of each other for the first press briefing following Comey’s firing. The bright lights had been on for hours and it was hot. I could sense the visceral anger from reporters all around me. As the media fired off dozens of questions about the Comey firing I calmly explained that the president lost confidence in Comey, just like many Republicans and Democrats in Congress had lost confidence in Comey. “Not to sound like a broken record, but since you guys keep asking the same questions, I guess it’s only fair that I’ll keep giving the same answers.… You’ve had so many Republicans and Democrats repeatedly calling for Director Comey to be gone.… If Hillary Clinton had won the election—which thank God she didn’t … she would have fired Comey immediately and the very Democrats who are criticizing the president today would be dancing in the streets celebrating. It’s the purest form of hypocrisy.”

  I didn’t realize it then, but looking back on it now, that was probably the moment I won the president’s confidence to take on the role of White House press secretary. The next day a story ran in Axios reporting that the president was considering o
ffering me the job full-time. The Axios story, and so many others like it, were fed by anonymous sources both inside and outside the White House. I didn’t always know who leaked which story, but had my suspicions, and in many cases the motivations of the leakers were clear and their identities obvious. I hated the leaks, which hurt the president and his team, and I made clear to my staff that any unauthorized leaks were a fireable offense.

  A week later, in May 2017, I joined the president on his first foreign trip, with stops in Saudi Arabia, Israel, and Brussels for a NATO meeting; Rome to visit the Vatican; and Sicily for the G7. The trip was important because it was the president’s first trip abroad, and in Saudi Arabia he planned to announce a new strategy for the Middle East focused less on democracy promotion and nation building and more on uniting Arab countries like Saudi Arabia and Egypt in a US-led coalition to isolate and contain Iran, our most dangerous adversary in the region. The president was set to give a major speech and open the new Global Center to Combat Extremism and Terrorism. Leaders from fifty-five Muslim-majority countries attended this meeting in Riyadh. This was the first such gathering and it was a direct result of the leadership of the Trump administration. On the first day of the visit the president also signed an investment deal with the Saudis that promised to bring $110 billion into the United States as well as thousands of new jobs. The Saudi visit was organized by Jared Kushner, a senior advisor to the president who had taken on a growing domestic and foreign policy portfolio, and it was a key early foreign policy win for the administration. Jared was a shrewd negotiator and coalition builder, and without him the Saudi trip and the progress made on it would have never come together.