Speaking for Myself

by Sarah Huckabee Sanders

  Sarah, I thought you did a really nice job at the briefing today.

  Every so often, events are so significant that they take you, at least for a moment, out of the tough and hardened White House life people like us have come to know. Today, you showed your roots, your faith, and your humility.

  I was touched by it and I think all those who watched gained an appreciation for who you are and what matters most to you.

  I just wanted to say good job.

  Best, Ari

  I traveled with the president to Las Vegas to meet with the victims’ families, survivors, and first responders. Serving as consoler in chief President Trump told reporters, “In the darkest moments, what shines most brightly is the goodness that thrives in the hearts of our American people.” A survivor named Thomas Gunderson had been shot in the leg, but when President Trump and the first lady came in to see him he got out of his hospital bed and stood to greet them. The president and first lady pleaded with him to return to his bed but Thomas said, “I will never lie down when the president of this great country comes to shake my hand.” As we took off on Air Force One from Las Vegas, I looked down and could see the shattered windows of the Mandalay Bay, from which the shooter had murdered fifty-eight innocent souls, one of the most vivid and visceral images of evil I had ever seen.

  The mass shootings that have tragically become all too common in our society made me fear for my kids’ safety as they would for any mom. It wasn’t lost on me that the more I was in the public eye the more recognizable and more of a target I’d become. There was more interest in the Trump presidency than any other in history. He dominated media coverage and social media interaction 24/7 in a way that no human being ever had before him. The number of senior administration officials who’d become household names was a new phenomenon that none of us who came into the White House had really prepared for. For better or worse, many of us had become celebrities—featured on meme after meme on social media, the target of regular punch lines on late-night television, and caricatured on Saturday Night Live. Some of us couldn’t go anywhere in the country without being recognized and approached. In my experience, the vast majority of people who approached me in public were positive and encouraging, but around Washington, DC, one of the most liberal cities in America, that wasn’t always the case. “You’re a terrible person”; “you’re not fit to be a mother”; “your kids should be ashamed of you”; “I told my kids to never be like you” were just a few of the pleasantries I encountered from enlightened liberals and feminists who approached me in our nation’s capital.

  Protecting my kids from a cruel world was difficult. One Sunday afternoon I was driving all three kids to a friend’s house to play and George shouted from the backseat, “Mommy, what does it mean to be killed in cold blood?” Huck followed up with, “Yeah, what’s a cold-blooded killer?” I was shocked and asked them where they had heard this. George said, “Daddy let us watch you on the news!”

  I could always count on my kids for daily doses of reality and humility. One night Scarlett was getting ready for a father/daughter dance. It was one of the first big events like this for her and Bryan. She was so excited. We spent the day picking out the perfect dress and getting her hair and nails done. Scarlett wanted the big reveal moment coming down the stairs. As we were putting on the finishing touches I told her how proud of her I was, what a beautiful girl she was inside and out, and how blessed she was to have such a wonderful daddy. We shared this special moment and I was so thankful and proud to be her mom. A little tear of joy came to my eye. Scarlett noticed and said, “It’s okay, Mommy.” She reached up, patted my arm, and with a look of empathy and compassion on her face, said, “One day you can be pretty, too.” That was not the direction I anticipated our conversation going! I smiled, gave her a kiss, and sent her down the stairs to meet her prince.

  No matter how high you fly in this life, kids have a way of bringing you crashing back down to earth. On a quiet Saturday over the kids’ Christmas break, Bryan was playing Mousetrap with Scarlett and Huck. I was cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast and all of a sudden water started pouring through the ceiling all over me. I was soaking wet. I yelled for Bryan’s help and ran upstairs to find George in the boys’ bathroom. He was balancing with one foot on the side of the toilet and one on the side of the bathtub, completely naked. He had a plunger in his hands and a guilty smile on his face as the toilet overflowed everywhere. There was nearly two inches of standing water on the floor of the bathroom. I shouted to Bryan and the other kids to bring towels. I grabbed George and carried him to our shower, and after he was cleaned up, I walked back to the boys’ bathroom. Bryan was on his knees soaking up the mess and George, still naked, walked in, patted Bryan on the shoulder, and said, “It’s okay, Daddy,… my teacher says ‘sometimes accidents happen.’” We laughed so hard neither of us could bring ourselves to punish him.

  My kids humbled me, but they also made me more appreciative of all God’s blessings. On Memorial Day, I accompanied the president to a ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery to honor our fallen heroes. It was technically a holiday so I got permission to bring Huck along with me. Just before we departed, Johnny DeStefano asked if Huck and I wanted to ride in the front of the motorcade in the Suburban just behind the president’s limo from the White House to Arlington. Huck sat in the backseat with one of the military communications staffers, James, who was a friend and also a parent. James was patient and answered all of Huck’s questions on the fifteen-minute ride over. James also told Huck that all of the people lining the streets and waving to the motorcade had heard he was coming to work with me that day and that’s why they were all there. Huck was thrilled with the size of the crowd there to see him and took great responsibility in making sure he waved to every onlooker we passed!

  The event was a somber occasion as we honored the men and women of our Armed Forces who had paid the ultimate price so we could live free in the greatest country in the world. Families of the fallen as well as hundreds of veterans and current members of our Armed Forces were there. A man opening the ceremony delivered an inspiring message that ended with “Hallelujah!” In the silence that followed, Huck loudly yelled back, “Hallelujah!”

  I brought Huck with me that day because he had lately expressed interest in joining the military when he grows up. My friend Sarah Flaherty was a helicopter pilot in the US Navy, which Huck thought was pretty cool. In September 2018 I had the honor of conducting Sarah’s official promotion from lieutenant commander to commander. Sarah came from a military family, her grandfather having been a major general in the Marines. General Dunford, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and a four-star marine general, had served under him as a young officer. I officiated the ceremony and administered the oath and, as a thank-you, Sarah gave me the bars from her uniform that I had helped switch out to signify her new rank. Huck loved to look at the bars that I kept in my office and told me he would like to have some like them someday and that when he did, he wanted me to change his, too.

  I figured this day would be a good way to show Huck what true sacrifice and bravery really means and for him to meet some real superheroes—not the fake cartoon ones he watched on TV. After the ceremony finished and we were waiting to head back to the White House, General Dunford came by to say hi to Huck. I had gotten to know the general and was always impressed by his bold confidence, but also his kindness. I introduced Huck to him and told Huck he was a real superhero. Huck proudly told him he wanted to be a real superhero, too, and was going to be in the army when he grows up. General Dunford said, “That’s not bad, son, but I’m pretty sure you’d rather be a marine.” We laughed and Huck told everyone he met after that he was going to be a marine just like his new friend the general.

  Being the first mom to ever serve as White House press secretary had its highs and lows. If I didn’t have the best partner in the world, I couldn’t have done it. Bryan was all the things I wasn’t. He was the fun parent who played monster an
d chased the kids through the house as they squealed in delight. He pushed them higher on the swing than I would dare. He made our boys tough by letting them roughhouse and be boys. And he made our daughter feel special and loved by treating her as she deserved to be treated. He was patient and laid back and he was the rock of our family during a challenging time. Every day when I was too tired to do something he stepped in. When we needed to pretend George’s birthday was on a completely different day because I couldn’t be home on his actual birthday he just went with it and made it happen. He was and is my perfect partner on this crazy journey. Not only could I not do it without him—I wouldn’t want to.

  So when an opportunity came along to fulfill his lifelong dream to meet his childhood hero—Kansas City Royals Hall of Famer George Brett—I jumped at the chance. George Brett and his son Jackson were at the White House for a tour. Johnny DeStefano, who like Bryan had grown up a Royals fan in Kansas City, told me he was giving George a tour and asked me if I wanted to meet him. I bolted from my office and went to say hi and asked for a photo I could send to my husband. George said, “I’ll do you one better. We are going to dinner tonight. Why don’t you join us?” I couldn’t believe it and couldn’t wait to surprise Bryan. It was actually perfect timing because it was only a few days away from Bryan’s birthday and this was better than any gift I could ever give him!

  I told Bryan and he was thrilled. I said, “This will only happen under one condition—you are not to ask George Brett about pooping his pants in Las Vegas.” The Vegas story was legend to all Kansas City Royals fans. Being married to one, I’ve heard it retold many times. George Brett was caught on video with a hot mic at spring training talking to a Royals player named Scott Dohmann.

  George Brett said, “I sh—— my pants last night. I did … I’m good twice a year for that. When was the last time you sh—— your pants?”

  SCOTT DOHMANN: “Me?”

  GEORGE BRETT: “Yeah. Been awhile?”

  SCOTT DOHMANN: “Yeah, it’s been a long time.”

  GEORGE BRETT: “I was in Vegas a couple of years ago. This is an honest to God true story. I’m staying at the Bellagio. I went over to the Mirage for dinner and met some friends of mine over there. Went to Cocomo’s, a great little steakhouse. Guy brings out some fresh crab legs. ‘These just came in. I have to give them to you guys.’ Brings them out. I am eating them. Then we go gamble a little bit. I had a tee time early in the morning. So I said, ‘Look, I got to get going.’ I’m walking back to the hotel. I get three-fourths of the way out of the lobby … I got my butt pinched … I can’t move. All of sudden … BOOM … water. I had food poisoning from the crabs! Take off my leather jacket, tie it around my waist, and I’m just standing there and it is just running down my leg.… Every time I’m walking something’s coming out, it’s water. Straight water! Then to tell you how sick I was I am standing outside and I got to get my cell phone. I call the guy, I say, ‘Larry, you won’t believe this. I’m standing outside … I can’t move. I got sh—— everywhere. I sh—— all over myself.’ And Larry is about a forty-eight waist. So he brings me over a pair of pants and some towels.… He finds the closest bathroom.… He goes and gets the towel all wet for me, throws it over the stall. I take off all my clothes. Just wipe off. Leave my shoes, my pants, everything right there. The towels right there in the stall, and I am walking barefoot with my shirt and his pants that are forty-eight waist through the lobby at midnight.… True story. Who’s the pitchers in this game?”

  That was the PG-13 version. The actual video (viewer discretion advised) is posted on YouTube, where it has millions of views. Bryan had watched it enough times to repeat some of the better lines from memory, so I didn’t think it was necessary or appropriate for him to bring it up the first time he’d ever meet George Brett at dinner. Bryan agreed to my terms, and we joined George Brett, his son Jackson, and a friend of his from Kansas City, along with Johnny and his wife, Sarah, at Bourbon Steak at the Four Seasons in Georgetown. After a couple of drinks, George Brett, a Republican and Trump supporter, started giving me a hard time. He said, “You know, Sarah, you have the toughest job in Washington.” I pushed back a bit, and he followed up with: “Actually, you don’t just have the toughest job in Washington—you have the worst job in Washington and probably the entire world!” He howled with laughter and I said, “Actually, I have the best job in the world. In fact, if I didn’t have this job, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now with you.” I then really let him have it. I did exactly what I’d repeatedly warned my husband not to do. I said, “George, why don’t you tell us about that time you pooped your pants in Vegas?” George Brett, without hesitation, launched into the story in graphic, hysterical detail. The look on Bryan’s face was pure joy.

  I blamed Jackson. I had been sitting next to Jackson all night and had instantly hit it off with him. He was a young guy with a big personality and while Bryan and Johnny were drooling over George I had been talking to Jackson. I told him I had threatened Bryan’s life if he fanboyed too much or asked George to tell the Vegas story, but Jackson had egged me on and told me to do it. That night we all became friends, and to this day, Bryan says it was his best night in Washington. We love George and his family. Every time I am not the perfect wife (pretty rare!) I remind Bryan of this night, hoping it will get me out of the hot seat!

  He and I have a great marriage, but we have faced many challenges and we are still a long way off from perfecting parenthood. During our time in Washington we did our best to teach our kids right, from wrong, why it’s important to help others, and to love others the way Jesus loves us. Some days we failed miserably and others we had moments to be proud of. Being a working mom these days is not easy. Social media, while a great tool, is also a dangerous place to spend all of your time. It’s a permanent highlight reel of our best moments. It’s rare to see a mom post a picture of their kid standing naked on a toilet—plunger in hand—flooding her house with dirty toilet water from the second-floor bathroom! No one is a perfect parent and no one has perfect kids, but our kids are a gift from our perfect God. They have been entrusted to us by our Creator and God chose us to be their parents.

  On a snow day when all the schools in the Washington area were closed, I went into work. Thankfully Bryan was able to stay home with the kids and they went sledding. They had come in to warm up, and as Bryan was building a fire, three-year-old George said, “Turn on Fox News, Daddy.”

  “Why, George?”

  “Because I like Fox News.”

  “Really? Why do you like Fox News, George?”

  “Because that’s where I can see Mommy.”

  My three-year-old had apparently concluded that if he wanted to see his mom he’d probably be more likely to see me on TV than at home.

  That night when I tucked George in he asked me why I didn’t wave back to him. I was confused and asked when he had waved at me. He said he had seen me on TV and waved at me, but I never waved back. No matter how many ways I tried to explain to him that when I’m on TV he could see me but I couldn’t see him, he never seemed convinced, just hurt.

  I loved working for the president and serving my country. It’s probably one of the best jobs I’ll ever have. But the greatest job and the most important title I’ll ever have is that of mom. As I neared two years in the White House—and three years since joining the Trump campaign—I knew I’d soon have to make a decision about how much longer I could do both.

  10

  Fighting for Us

  During the 2016 campaign, President Trump clearly differentiated himself on illegal immigration and trade. The president understood that the Republican Party had lost its way on these issues, and as a result lost its working-class base and the last two presidential elections. Globalization, with its importation of labor and exportation of jobs, wasn’t such a good deal for many American workers. In the last two decades, the United States had lost five million manufacturing jobs, and in hard-hit states across the Rust Belt from Pennsylva
nia to Michigan to Wisconsin the call to “make America great again” deeply resonated.

  On trade, the president replaced NAFTA with the USMCA (United States–Mexico–Canada Agreement), which was endorsed by the business community and organized labor, a first for any trade deal. The USMCA, negotiated by the president, vice president, Lighthizer, Mnuchin, Kudlow, and Kushner, was approved with strong bipartisan majorities in Congress. Along with the president, each of these administration officials was instrumental in getting the deal done. It represented a historic victory for the Trump administration and a blueprint for future trade deals that could be both pro–American business and pro–American worker. The president also made progress on trade with China, signing a Phase One deal that included $200 billion in new purchases of US goods and services, as well as better protections for US companies against China stealing their intellectual property and technology. President Trump promised American workers he’d fight for them, and on trade, he delivered. On illegal immigration and border security, however, results varied.

  To many Democrats illegal immigration wasn’t predominantly a national security issue, an economic issue, or even a humanitarian issue—it was a political issue. These Democrats wanted illegal immigrants to come to America through an open border and give them free healthcare, government benefits, and ultimately citizenship so they’d loyally vote Democrat—and cement a permanent majority for the Democratic Party. Democrats weren’t stupid. They knew walls worked and were hell-bent on denying the president his wall.