Scars of Yesterday (Sons of Templar MC Book Book 8)

by Anne Malcom

  “A few weeks ago, I had the feeling that someone had been in my house,” I admitted in a small voice. I definitely didn’t want to volunteer this information, mostly because of the reaction I expected—and the one I got—but also because I wasn’t convinced that a ‘feeling’ was even worth mentioning. It seemed so alarmist. But I also knew that not mentioning this could be worse.

  “What the fuck?” Kace hissed. “Why didn’t you say shit about this?”

  I should’ve told Cade in private. I did not need this response. Not in front of anyone, and not at all. His response demonstrating his belief that he was entitled to this information because he was fucking me. I hadn’t said anything to Kace sooner because I did not want to awaken the alpha male protection curse.

  I glanced to Kace, my eyes hard. “Because I thought I was just being paranoid. Nothing was taken, nothing was changed, no one jumped out of a closet. I figured I was just overreacting.”

  “You don’t overreact to shit,” Kace argued in a clipped tone.

  There was too much ownership in that statement. Too much knowledge.

  So I focused on Cade. “I don’t know if anyone was even there, but if they were, they were only trying to scope things out.”

  Cade nodded. “We got you, Lizzie.”

  I smiled. “I know, Cade.”

  “We’ll leave you to it,” Cade said as he stood to leave. He leaned forward and brushed the back of his hand across my jaw. “We’re gonna figure out who did this. And we’re gonna make sure that no harm comes to you. Promise you that.”

  Here I was. Right where I hadn’t wanted to be. Reliant on the club. On men. To protect me. Though I wasn’t going to try and argue against it. I’d been in this life far too long, knowing it wouldn’t do any good. Plus, there was real danger here. Danger that I surely couldn’t handle on my own. Danger that the club knew how to handle. It was my responsibility as a mother to let them take care of it.

  “I’m stayin’,” Kace said, voice rough.

  Cade glanced backward, his face not betraying a thing. His eyes found mine. “You okay with that?”

  Of course I wasn’t okay with that. I didn’t want to be alone with Kace. Not now while I felt so vulnerable, so shaken. Especially not with him in protective, macho man mode. Things felt too raw. Too real.

  But I knew far too well that arguing about this kind of shit, throwing sass, was a sure-fire way to shout from the rooftops that we were not only sleeping together but something else was going on too.

  However Ashley kept her and Wire a secret for as long as she had, it was nothing short of a miracle. I made a mental note to pick her brain.

  “Sure,” I replied to Cade, glaring at Kace. “That’s fine.”

  Something moved in Cade’s eyes. Something I didn’t at all like. He nodded once, did the whole chin lift with Kace and then left.

  “You really had to be the one to volunteer for babysitting duty and do it in an intense, alpha male way that totally just spelled out we’re sleeping together?” I snapped as soon as Cade left.

  “Someone is after you,” Kace ground out.

  “Yes, I have a headache and the makings of a scar that prove that,” I replied.

  “So all bets are off now. I kept my distance, played by your rules ‘cause I didn’t really care about how I had you, it just mattered that I had you.” He paced the room like a caged animal. “Could’ve lost you today. We all could’ve lost you. Your kids could’ve lost you.”

  His aim hit true, hitting me right in the heart.

  “You can bet your beautiful ass I’ll be acting alpha as fuck for as long as it takes us to figure out who the fuck was stupid enough to try to hurt you. Then you can steer us back in whichever direction you want.”

  Kace had stopped pacing now. He was staring at me, daring me to challenge him. There was so much aggression in his words. A fury. But I could see through it. He was scared. Because he cared about me. He hadn’t ever hidden that. From the start, he’d made it clear that he’d wanted to know me. Then, that he wanted to fuck me. Then, after that, that he wanted more than fucking.

  But he hadn’t ever pressured me. Pushed me. He only dominated me when he was inside me, otherwise, I made the rules. But I guessed someone cutting the brakes in my car was the point where all of that stopped.

  As much as I wanted to argue, just because I was scared about all of this, scared that I would get attached to another man taking care of me before I truly knew how to take care of myself, I didn’t. I needed the club on this. My kids needed the club. And Kace.

  “Whatever,” I sighed, glancing toward the TV because I needed to escape his gaze. He’d put on True Blood because he loved vampires, something I’d recently discovered. That guy was always full of surprises. Then again, there were a lot of pretty graphic sex scenes that I was sure held his attention too.

  It pissed me off that I was now addicted to the show. And the man who had turned me onto it.

  Kace stared at me for a few beats more, then sat on the couch, lifting my legs and placing them so they were draped across his lap.

  I didn’t try to pull them back because I liked his warmth and his presence. Today had shaken me. Some faceless stranger creeping up to my home while my kids and I were sleeping, cutting my brakes? For what purpose? Were they going to try something again?

  Yeah, I was scared. Not enough to cower, to hide away from the world. But enough to let Kace sit with me and watch TV and rub my feet, despite being scared by the casual intimacy of it all.

  We didn’t speak for a long time.

  “I’m staying here tonight,” he informed me.

  “No you’re not,” I snapped.

  “Beyond the fact that the doctor said someone needs to observe you, someone cut the brakes to your car. They didn’t do it because you’re a slow driver, babe. They did it ‘cause they wanted to hurt you. End you. Neither of those things sit right with me. So I’m staying. You can argue with me all you like. It’s happening.”

  “The kids—”

  “The kids like me. The kids also know that their mother got hurt today. They know the patch I wear means something. That it will keep them safe. And I know this is a fucked-up way to do it, but they were gonna find out about us sooner or later. This stopped being about sex a long time ago, and you know it. We’re not hashing this out right now because I can see by the way you’re pinching your eyebrows together, you’re hurting like a bitch, though, no way in fuck you’d admit it. So I’m going to run you a bath. You’re gonna let me help you in and out of it. Then I’m putting you to bed. I’m gonna be in there with you too. ‘Cause I need to sleep with your warm body next to mine. You’re gonna try and fight that, too, out of instinct. But you want me there.”

  I bit my lip. Lying was a habit I was trying to curb. Or at least trying to reduce. Lying to Kace about my feelings seemed pointless; he saw everything. It felt wrong, too, in the face of all of the honesty he’d shown me.

  “Fine,” I gritted out.

  He grinned, but chose not to gloat, which was definitely in his best interest.

  He stayed the night.

  And the next one too.

  Three Weeks Later

  Nothing had happened since the accident.

  Well, a lot had happened. Just no one trying to kill me again. My scratches and bruises healed, like they’d never been there. Life returned to a semblance of normal.

  A normal that included Kace in my bed every night. The first night after the accident, I’d let the kids wake up to him, but to the idea that he’d slept on the sofa. Neither of them seemed overly bothered, mostly because he made them waffles with whipped cream on them.

  He stayed every night, but he crept out to his place as the sun rose. Having to wake before the sun and not sleep in his own bed didn’t seem to bother Kace. Not in the slightest.

  The fact that he was sleeping next to me every single night should’ve bothered me more. At least a little bit. It didn’t.

  I’d submi
tted to him physically from the first time we had sex. It took a lot longer for me to submit to him in other ways, though.

  Especially two weeks after the accident. I’d woken up early and hadn’t fallen back into an unsettled slumber like I normally did when Kace left. Instead, I got up, made coffee and sat out in the garden with my laptop. Writing.

  I was doing that more these days. The days when I should’ve been looking for a job, finding a way to support my family. But I didn’t do that. I continued to do all off the things that I’d done when Ranger was alive. And in my free time, I was on my laptop writing. There was a constant club presence, of course. Whether it be Kace or a prospect sitting on my sofa or outside my house.

  Even though nothing had happened since the accident.

  As stupid as it was, I’d all but forgotten about the fear I was supposed to be feeling, knowing that someone was out there wanting to do me harm. There wasn’t room for it. And I did feel protected by Kace’s presence. I felt confident in my ability to protect myself and my kids.

  Whatever I was feeling poured out of me and onto my laptop. Into this... thing that I was creating. The thing without a title, without a name.

  I’d been working on it almost every day after taking the kids to school, after putting in my first load of laundry or whatever the chore was that I knew not to postpone too long. Today, however, Kace had texted me and told me that he was taking me out for the day. He’d also said to wear something comfortable.

  I didn’t know what to make of that. Comfort for me was tight black jeans, studded boots, a tight black tank, a crapload of silver jewelry and a leather jacket, even though fall in California didn’t really require it.

  When Kace arrived, his eyes ran over me with a heat that hadn’t dulled, despite the time we’d spent together. It reminded me of the kind of attraction Ranger and I’d had. Sure, through the years of marriage, our struggles, there had been peaks and valleys. But that passion had never gone away. Every time he’d kissed me. I got butterflies, sparks, fireworks, all of that.

  It was cruel to both me and to Kace to continually compare the two men, my experiences with them, but it was also impossible not to. Though truthfully, there was no comparison. The only similarities they had were they wore the same cut and had those same, macho, alpha tendencies that men in those cuts usually had. Other than that, they were polar opposites. Kace was quick to smile, had a lightness around him, despite his past. Always ready to tease. Ranger was darkness. Once you learned to look at him close enough. He wasn’t easy or laid back. He was tortured by his past. By his scars. He loved fiercely and forever. He smiled and laughed with our kids, but not without pain.

  Two very different men. Two different seasons in my life.

  “You look fuckin’ beautiful, babe,” Kace said, grabbing me and pressing our bodies together.

  My stomach dipped when he did this, as he did every time he greeted me. “You’re not so bad yourself,” I murmured. “Future reference, comfortable as a dress code is not enough detail for a woman like me.”

  A line creased his forehead. A woman like you?”

  I nodded. “A woman who likes to accessorize. Who likes to look good. Looking good isn’t always mutually exclusive with comfort. I’m okay with that.”

  He smiled, kissing me. “So noted,” he chuckled against my lips. “Just so you know, you look good no matter what. First thing in the morning, hair all crazy, still shaking off sleep, that’s my favorite.”

  I raised a brow. “Bullshit.”

  He grinned. “Believe me or not, it’s the truth.”

  I ached to fight him on that, but figured we could be here a while. “So, are we going somewhere, or is this some kind of elaborate ruse to get me into bed?” I questioned, totally fine with either one.

  “Baby, I don’t need an elaborate ruse to get you into bed,” he smirked.

  I scowled at him.

  He just grinned back, stepping away slightly, intertwining our hands. Kace was all about touching. If I was within touching distance, he was there. When the kids were around, I made sure that didn’t happen. But he took every single moment that they were distracted, reading, playing, to put his hands on me.

  I liked it. His hunger for me. Bordering on desperation. Because I needed it too.

  “We’re going on a ride,” he stated, leading me out the door.

  His bike was parked in the driveway, next to a shiny SUV.

  It was a ‘loaner’ from the garage. One that arrived the day after my accident. Cade had dropped it off without a word. He knew Ranger had a truck, and he knew it was still locked in the garage. Yet somehow, he knew how terrified I was to drive it.

  So he’d made sure I had something to drive.

  Because that was the kind of guy he was. Badass. Scary. Deadly. Kind. Protective. Emotionally considerate.

  Kace had come on outings with me and the kids because he’d needed to. Of course, the kids didn’t know someone might be trying to kill their mother, so they assumed he came along because he wanted to. Though that was probably true, he seemed to genuinely enjoy accompanying us.

  He drove the SUV every time we went out.

  We’d never gone on his bike.

  I froze in the driveway, staring at it.

  His hand was in mine. I could still taste his lips in my mouth, my thighs aching from what he’d done to me last night. Yet the prospect of getting on the back of his bike was too intimate.

  It meant something in the MC world. I’d never been on the back of anyone’s bike apart from Ranger’s. No exceptions.

  There was something pivotal about this moment. Kace knew it. He might’ve been younger, but he’d been in the MC all of his adult life. He knew the protocols when it came to this. Knew what me getting on the back of his bike would mean.

  He didn’t say anything as I just stood there, staring. He was patiently waiting. For me to either move forward or run back into the house. Run back into the past.

  Every part of me wanted to do that. It was safer. Didn’t come with all the internal dilemmas and real-life consequences.

  Kace wouldn’t say anything if I fled. Wouldn’t judge me for it. Because that’s the kind of person he was. This was the first time he’d pushed me toward something I hadn’t guided us to first. Our secret was pretty much the worst kept secret in the Sons of Templar, although Ashley still held the title for the best.

  Most of the women in my group knew, and were madly ecstatic about it, but refrained from talking about it since they knew how uncomfortable it made me. I assumed that they’d told their husbands, though, I’d promised them to secrecy. Not because they had big mouths or anything, but because that’s what you did with your husband. You shared secrets knowing that they wouldn’t go anywhere. You shared everything, and it was safe.

  None of the men had said anything, of course. But Lucky grinned far too widely whenever Kace and I arrived somewhere together. I made sure not to act like we were in any way together, but that was for me and my delusions more than anyone else.

  Getting on the back of his bike was a sure way to shatter those delusions.

  I didn’t make the conscious choice to move toward the bike, but it happened anyway.

  Kace didn’t say anything. But when I got to the bike, he grabbed the helmet that was sitting on the seat, snatched me by the back of my neck and kissed me hard. Branding me.

  Then, I got on the back of his bike.

  Chapter 17

  Although Kace didn’t like it, it had been almost a month of nothing, so I was no longer being tailed by the Sons of Templar. He did check my car daily now, before I drove it. Which I was totally fine with. I wasn’t taking any risks with the kids and wasn’t really in the mood for another concussion. Plus, I really didn’t need my premiums to go up. Money was still somewhat of a worry even though my buffer had suddenly grown healthier these past two months. My monthly cut from the Sons of Templar was considerably more than I used to get.

  I’d tried to take this
up with Cade who shrugged, saying that the club was earning a lot more due to Kace and his investments.

  Though I didn’t doubt that Kace was bringing in a profit, I suspected that he had something to do with the increased size of the envelope I was getting. He’d said the exact same thing as Cade when I tried to talk to him about it, plus he hadn’t mentioned my job search or my money situation. As much as it pissed me off and felt like charity, it helped. Gave me a little more breathing room.

  Not that I was any closer to figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. Sure, I could’ve gone back to school, giving me some more options in the job market. But in addition to school being expensive and having two kids to look after, I didn’t know what the fuck I’d even go to school for. Nothing interested me enough. I was in a luxurious position, being so picky about all of this instead of having to wait tables for nothing plus tips.

  There was only so much time I could stay like this, though. I had kids to feed. Groceries to buy.

  It was only a matter of time before I bumped into Edmond. In a town like Amber, there was no avoiding people. Though I had tried my best. Despite Kace’s very real warning that he turn if he ever saw me on the street, I figured Edmond’s arrogance would trump any sense of self-preservation he had. Beyond that, he probably didn’t truly believe that Kace would really do anything.

  He hadn’t been in Amber long enough to truly understand the Sons of Templar. In his mind, they were low-life criminals, and he was a man with the expensive suit and haircut. The family money. Fancy degree. No doubt he thought all of those things worked as some kind of bulletproof vest to misfortune and violence.

  So when I saw him while walking to my car in the grocery store parking lot, it wasn’t surprising that he didn’t walk the other way. Instead, when his eyes landed on me, he changed directions and walked directly toward me.

  “Fuck,” I muttered under my breath.