The Cautious Maiden

by Dawn Crandall

  But this…was amazing. It had to be the biggest room I’d ever seen. And surely, there couldn’t have been much more on that level, seeing that the ballroom was about as large as all the space on the first floor put together. There were wall-hung electric lights situated every few feet and six chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.

  Before I knew it, Estella had left the room, so I followed her out to the landing where she lingered outside the other double doors, which were closed.

  “You should peak in. I think you’ll be surprised.”

  “I assume that means you’ve already looked and haven’t seen any bats?”

  “No, I didn’t see any bats.”

  I stepped toward the door, turned the knob, opened it a crack, and looked in. There weren’t any curtains on the many windows in the large room, and the sun shown in, illuminating a black wrought iron crib, as well as a white bassinet.

  Opening the door a bit farther, I took in more of the details. There was a fireplace situated in the corner with matching gray velvet chairs flanking it, a wooden rocking horse painted white, a tall wooden doll house, a few built-in dressers, a miniature piano and a wall of shelves filled with books and all kinds of toys.

  Had this all been there before? Vance hadn’t taken me to see the attic when he’d first shown me the house, so I didn’t know what to make of it. Could it be that he was really that interested in starting a family?

  I walked into the room, taking everything in. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it, actually.

  “It isn’t uncommon to be prepared, but I must say, he’s even more ready than I am, and I’m the one who’s going to have a baby by Christmas.”

  “Oh, Estella! That’s wonderful news!” I said, almost a little jealous. But how ridiculous; there I was standing in my own nursery. Surely my time would come soon enough. I pushed away the thoughts of how my mother was only able to have two children. “When do you think you’ll have the baby?”

  “November, most likely.”

  “Have you told anyone else?”

  “Amaryllis and Natalia both already guessed, and I’ll tell Father and Madame Boutilier right before the wedding. I don’t want to distract them from the preparations.”

  It would be a joyous time for everyone. I still had a hard time believing this was my family now; that they had all welcomed me so entirely just because they thought Vance was in love with me.

  “Do you really think Vance did this? What about Nicholette? Could it have been left—?”

  “Vance said the only room finished when Will died was the master suite.”

  Oh yes. He had indeed said that.

  Going over to the rocking horse, I tipped it forward, setting it in motion.

  “Vance told me lately that Wynn was his natural daughter.” Estella was across the room near what looked to be a closet. “And since Giselle was expecting when she died, perhaps he’s already reconciled to becoming a father.”

  I’d never taken his feelings regarding Giselle’s baby into consideration before; that Vance would have been preparing to be the baby’s father—even if it hadn’t been his—for the months they’d been married. He had said it was difficult to witness what had happened to Giselle, but he’d never mentioned why. Was it because of the loss of the baby?

  “He also told me that he’s told you everything concerning his past, and that you don’t hold it against him.”

  “How could I? He was an entirely different person back then.”

  “Indeed, he was.”

  I turned to cross the room, intent on heading back downstairs in hopes of finding Vance. As I did, Estella opened the closet and ducked her head inside the dark compartment.

  She immediately backed across the room. “Oh, it’s an unfinished—ew, now I know what you meant.”

  Before she could reach over to shut the door, about a dozen screeching black winged creatures flew out of the closet, their rat-like bodies darting about the room haphazardly, the sound of their wings distinctly bringing back the vivid memory of the only other time I’d ever witnessed a bat—and how it had landed on my head with its claws entangled in my hair.

  I ran out of the room, and heard Estella slam the door behind us and follow me down the steps.

  Upon making it down to the second floor, I heard Estella start for the back stairs as I headed toward the main staircase. I wanted to get out the front door; I could just imagine a whole colony of bats coming after me.

  But upon turning the corner of the hall, I collided with Vance outside his room.

  He clamped his hands around my arms, bracing me before him, concern etched across his face. “Are you all right? I heard a scream.”

  Had I screamed? I didn’t know. “There are bats in the attic—”

  “So you made it to the—?”

  “There were bats.”

  Vance chuckled; he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me closer. “I’m sorry, but did you happen to notice anything else besides the bats?”

  His nearness and his laughter—although it was at my expense—somehow calmed me. The bats hadn’t followed me down the stairs, after all, and suddenly I was in Vance’s arms, which made everything else hardly matter. Yes, he could laugh at me all he wanted, as long as he would hold me while he did so.

  “Yes, I noticed the nursery. Did you do that?”

  He loosened his arms from around me, but then drew my hand to his chest. “Do you like it?”

  “I loved it until the bats were introduced. We really need to finish off that section of the attic.”

  He laughed at me again, and this time, I was the one to grab him by the arms. I took a step nearer and lifted to my toes—just enough to catch his smiling lips with mine. He didn’t fight me off as I was afraid he would, but sighed and immediately bent forward to finish the kiss…except it wasn’t exactly finished. It had only just begun, and then kept going.

  It wasn’t a feverishly passionate kiss like the first one, either. Vance had again wrapped his arms around me, but his hands had stayed at my back, lightly pressing me to him. I put my arms around his neck, not about to let him go. After a few minutes, he uttered between our lips.

  “So you liked the nursery.” He leaned back, breaking the intense connection. He propped a finger under my chin, still tilting my face to his.

  I opened my eyes slowly, and sighed. “It was thoughtful. I know you’ve mentioned it, but I didn’t know you were so ready to have a family.” I lifted to my toes to quickly kiss him again. It was much too heavenly to be that close; I was unable to stay away.

  His mouth tipped into a small roguish smile as he allowed another small kiss. “I didn’t know I wanted a lot of things until recently.”

  Vance gently took me by the elbow and guided me to the head of the stairs. “I’m not sure you’ve realized just how close to being a father I’ve already been with Giselle’s unborn child. Her baby would have been my son or daughter, had it lived.”

  “I thought of that while upstairs.” My heart hurt just thinking about the pain he must have gone through. I couldn’t imagine losing a child, no matter what age. Was that part of the reason he’d decided to marry Meredyth right away upon returning from France: to create the family he’d already decided he wanted?

  “I’d grown attached to the idea of being a father, and had been prepared, but now, it’s not just about that. I want a life with you in this house, with our children.”

  “I still can’t believe you want me—”

  He stopped our progression, leaned in and added quietly, “It wasn’t a chore meeting you back in October, Violet. Or getting to know you now. It’s true, I cared very much about helping you, but I also had to be particularly careful since…since I wasn’t accustomed to finding someone so attractive and then not also permitting myself to….” He stopped for a moment, and I could only stare at him in wonder. Was he serious?

  “It was a constant struggle, Violet, to not revert to my old ways, to at least try and engage your interest in a
n indisc—”

  “An indiscretion? With me? You thought I was attractive, in that way?”

  “Can you not tell? It was awfully tempting to try…”

  “I wouldn’t have.”

  “I know.” He took a step closer. “You were what saved me from even trying, Violet. You were a constant reminder of what I wanted to be like; strong in your faith and stubbornly obedient.”

  “I don’t know how you could tell that—”

  “Anyone could see as much if they only looked. And I’d been looking far too much for my own good….”

  My emotions were in an uproar at these confessions from him. He’d wanted me from the very beginning of our acquaintance…and not just because he was stuck with me?

  “Vance! There you are!” Estella started up the stairs toward us, Mrs. Paltrow lagging behind her. “Did Violet tell you about the bats? They’re trapped in the nursery, everything will need to be cleaned, and I have no idea how you’ll ever get rid of them.”

  “I’ll hire someone to deal with it, Stella, don’t worry.”

  “But your beautiful nursery! I’m so sorry to have opened that door—I thought it was merely a closet, and Violet warned me about bats.”

  “Did she now?” He slanted a grin my way. “But it can all be cleaned, dear sister, quite easily, in fact.”

  “We should probably be on our way to visit Aunt Letty,” I said to change the subject as we all descended the stairs together.

  “Have you had enough of Everthorne, already, Violet?” Vance asked.

  “Everthorne? Have you renamed the house?” Estella asked. “How wonderful!”

  “It is perfect, isn’t it?” I said clutching my reticule with one hand and my fiancé with the other. Everything seemed perfect, actually.

  17

  Midnight

  “…And yet I have had the weakness, and have still the weakness, to wish you to know with what a sudden mastery you kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire.”

  —Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

  A few weeks later, I trekked down to the dark basement-floor kitchen of Everwood to eat my “real” dinner by lamplight, as I usually did every evening once everyone else had retired to their rooms. I would have been horrified if anyone in the family ever found out, but I was desperate. After living in Boston for close to two months, I still wasn’t used to the richness of the food served to the Everstone family. At times, dinner was downright awful, and I choked down as much as I could of what I could stand, while hoping not to insult anyone with how much of other dishes I hardly touched.

  From my first days at Everwood, I knew there were other things to eat than what we were served at dinner every night. Lunch wasn’t usually too bad, and the servants obviously weren’t served the same things as the family. I would often be starving for something tolerable to eat by the time I went to sleep at night.

  After the first week of going to bed hungry, I’d taken up the habit of making my way down to the kitchen at night to find something to tide me over until breakfast. I never saw anyone, but it was obvious that the cook had noticed and taken pity on me. Now when I went down, I would find a simple plate made up of a combination of meat, bread, fruit, and cheese with a note labeled: for Violet.

  Hopefully, Mrs. Paltrow would prove to be a simple cook. I hadn’t met the two newest hired servants, but I’d heard all about the butler, Brubaker, and Mrs. Jefferies from Vance over lunch one day. I was extremely happy that I would be allowed to take my maid, Bessy, with me. Not that I felt I especially needed a maid, but I had grown fond of her.

  As I finished up and placed my plate on the sideboard next to the large porcelain sink, I wondered for about the thousandth time how exactly Ezra had lost me in a bet playing poker. I didn’t know the first thing about the game; how could a mere laying of cards have so much power over men and their decisions? And how was it that he’d actually “lost” me?

  Looking through the books in the library didn’t seem a likely way of finding out—there were too many to search through. I would simply have to ask Vance when I had the chance. Other than our carriage rides to go visit Aunt Letty and Mabel once a week, I’d really only seen him in the company of others since he’d taken me to see Everthorne. And we had behaved so well that day!

  I didn’t see him nearly as much as I would have liked since he insisted on staying at Everthorne. I really didn’t think he needed to take quite so many precautions. It couldn’t be that difficult. We’d kissed outside his rooms, even, and nothing had happened.

  When I made it back to my room, I took my writing box out and looked my newly created books over again. In reading the ones I’d already created, I would often be inspired to write something new, sometimes keeping my light burning much longer into the night than I should. But there were usually no plans set for the morning hours, a luxury I found myself quickly adapting to. Having so much time did wonders for my writing too. I’d thought up a few more books since coming to Boston, had rewritten them to where I adored them, and had a number of illustrations for both.

  I could still hardly believe how entirely Vance supported me in my dream of becoming published, although I knew it was impossible. Even if he had a friend who was an editor, that didn’t mean a thing. It was simply too difficult. But just the fact that it meant so much to him to try to do all he could for me to achieve my dreams made my love for him grow.

  It had been over two weeks since I’d given Vance my collection of finished books to show to Mr. Culver. But I wouldn’t usually let myself think about that. I’d been nervous to show them to Vance in the first place, but now I was nervous to hear what his editor friend thought of them.

  Just as I was about to turn out my lamp, I heard a clink against one of my windows. I stood, nearing them cautiously, listening. Again, the clinking sound—it came from my window facing the back courtyard and stables.

  Pulling back the rose-colored jacquard velvet curtains from where they met at the middle of the window, I peered out while trying to stay hidden. There was a lamppost, fortunately, and I was able to make out Vance’s form in the courtyard, staring at my window and holding a handful of pebbles. I immediately reached for the latch and swung both window panes out just as he was about to throw another pebble.

  As I leaned out the window, I could tell he saw me just in time to avoid pelting me with stones.

  “Violet, can you come down?” he whispered as loudly as he dared. “I have something I need to tell you.”

  “What is it? Can you not tell me from down there?”

  “I need to see you. Meet me at the back door.” And before I could answer, he’d moved closer to the house and under the roof of the back porch where I couldn’t see him.

  I quickly pulled my dressing gown on over my nightgown and pushed my bare feet into my slippers. My hair was down, but I didn’t mind Vance seeing it. He’d said on a number occasions that he loved it that way, even if it was shorter than I liked.

  I took the back stairs, thinking it would be faster, and unlocked the door—only then realizing that it could very well have been a trick. What if Rowen Steele had somehow forced Vance to ask me to come down, and I would be walking right into his grasp?

  But the door opened, and only Vance stood there, looking so amazing I wanted to cry with joy over the fact that he was all mine. I almost launched myself into his arms. And although I’d contained my urge, I found myself there regardless.

  He held me, his arms wrapped around me, without a word, for the longest time.

  “Violet, I…I missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too, Vance. So much. I wish we didn’t have to spend so much time apart.”

  “I shouldn’t even be here now, but I had to come right away to tell you we need to be careful associating with your cousins.” I tried to stay close as he said these things, but Vance forced me to lean back, so he could look me in the eyes. “I just came from following your cousin Cal, and found him in the company of Rowen Steele
.”

  “Oh no! Really? Why would he?”

  “I’m not sure.” Vance brought a hand to my neck, and then slowly cupped my jaw. “I’m not going to take you to see your aunt again, and I don’t want you to go there on your own either.”

  “But they’re my—”

  “Your safety means too much to me,” he whispered.

  I responded just as quietly, “They might not know who Rowen Steele is, or what he’s—”

  “We’re not going to take that chance. They might not know what he’s up to, but it doesn’t matter. Whatever is going on, he is using them to get close to you.”

  “You’re right. It’s better that way; I even wondered if he had brought you here and threatened you in some way to get you to throw the pebbles at my window.”

  “And yet you opened the door for me.”

  “I hadn’t thought of it until I’d unlocked it, and then there you were. All alone.”

  “Which reminds me, I’ve delivered my message… now I need to go.”

  “Since you’re here, couldn’t you just stay in your old room for the night and have breakfast with us in the morning like you used to?”

  “Most definitely not. Not with you standing in the doorway, in only your nightclothes and dressing gown, I assume, blocking my way to my room with every breathtaking curve.”

  “I’ll move out of your way.”

  “I’ll only follow.”

  For once, the threat of something happening seemed so much more tangible. How would I separate myself from him for the night when I wished never to leave his presence again? “Yes, perhaps, it is best you not come inside.”

  He took a few steps back, keeping his hand where it was at my jaw, yet effectively pulling me out the door to the covered stone porch.

  Vance gently closed the door behind me. He then took my hand, but quickly pressed it to my side—keeping it between me and his palm; his other hand was still at my jawline. “You have no idea how easy it is to get carried away.”