A Groom for Carrie

by Marie Higgins

  “I’m sorry you had to suffer through that terrible time,” he said honestly. He really couldn’t imagine how these women in town held up.

  “Yes, well...” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I cannot dwell on the past. I must continue to move forward for my son.”

  “That’s a wise choice.”

  She took another couple of breaths before she squared her shoulders, keeping her gaze on him. “I want to apologize for saying what I did.” She shrugged. “There is no excuse, except for I’ve been nervous all day and expecting a doctor to be my husband, and when you told me you didn’t want to, I well... I didn’t handle it well.”

  He studied her expression, wondering if he could read her, but he couldn’t. “Tell me, Carrie. Did you set out to marry a doctor? Knowing how you were raised, I’m now wondering if you were trying to find a husband who could make a hefty-size income.”

  Her jaw tightened, and her nostrils flared. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. Cade really hadn’t set out to upset her, but he just needed to know if she was marrying him for his money.

  “I realize we haven’t seen each other since we were still in school, but I assure you, I’m not the type who marries for money as my mother had. I was in love with Michael when we married, and he was ambitious enough to go after his dream, which coincidentally, made pretty good money for a while. And, as I have mentioned a few times already, since his death, we haven’t had the money for necessities. I’m surprised we haven’t starved by now.”

  Cade nodded. “Forgive me for upsetting you, but I had to know.”

  Her shoulders relaxed slightly. “Cade, I wanted you to be a doctor because our town doesn’t have one, and with Tilly ill, I wanted someone to care for her.”

  It was Cade’s turn to stiffen, and he bunched his fingers into fists. “I’m sure it’s just the common cold and that she’ll recover soon.”

  “If you say so.” Her gaze dropped back to the goat. “Will you tell me why you don’t want to be a doctor?”

  “No,” he said quickly, wishing he hadn’t. “I’m not ready to talk about it.”

  She stayed quiet for a few more minutes longer. The goat slowly munched on the hay and switched its gaze between Cade and the ground. He hoped the animal wouldn’t give him any problems.

  “Are you going to stay out here all day?” she asked. “I thought you could come inside and unpack your trunks.”

  The air between them just turned thicker. Either that or his chest was tightening. “Actually, I thought I’d sleep out here until—”

  “No!” She gasped and jumped toward him, clinging to his arm. Her eyes were wide, and her face had paled slightly. “I won’t have you so far from the house.”

  He narrowed his gaze. “Carrie, it’s okay. I’ve slept in barns before.”

  “No, you don’t understand.” She inhaled shakily. “When the blizzard hit, it was so sudden, and the snow fell quickly. Some husbands were in the barn while their wives were in the house. Some of those men died, and the ones who didn’t left days later to search for the hunting party and were killed anyway.”

  Her voice choked, and Cade’s heart dropped. Now he understood her fear. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that he’d lived through bad snowstorms before, yet, he didn’t want to make light of her situation.

  Cade patted her hands, still clinging to his arm. “Then, I’ll come inside.”

  A heavy sigh escaped her throat as color returned to her face. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

  He turned with her as they slowly left the barn, retracing their steps toward the house. She walked closer to him this time, but she didn’t touch him.

  “Cade? I don’t understand why you want to be a farmer over a doctor, but I’ll try. However, will you do something for me?”

  He was leery of answering, but he needed to know what kind of bargain she wanted to make. “What?”

  “I’ll let you show me why you want to be a farmer. However, in exchange, I would like for you to remember how to be a doctor.”

  He stopped and folded his arms. “Are you that worried about Tilly?”

  She nodded as tears filled her eyes. “I can’t lose her.”

  “Fine. I’ll promise to tend to Tilly as long as you allow me to be a farmer.”

  A shaky smile touched her face. “Thank you.”

  Cade really hoped this wasn’t the beginning of her trying to turn him back into a doctor. Only time would tell.

  FOUR

  Carrie’s heart was racing as she prepared herself for bed that night. She had changed into her white cotton nightdress and slipped into her blue wrapper. Earlier, Cade had stocked wood in each room near the hearths to keep them warm during the night. As promised, he checked Tilly and told her to rest tomorrow. Carrie didn’t see her maid doing that, but maybe with Cade in the house now, Tilly would do as he asked.

  She had introduced Parker Joe to Cade, but her little one didn’t want to get to know his new father. She knew it would take some time. Thankfully, Cade acted like he was interested in her son. She prayed Cade would turn out to be a good father, like Michael.

  Taking a deep breath, she stared at her reflection through the mirror on her vanity table. Had she brushed her hair one-hundred times yet? She’d lost count when her thoughts took over. Perhaps she should brush it ten more times to be certain.

  As she lifted the brush to her long hair, someone knocked on the bedroom door. Her breath stalled in her throat. It’s Cade!

  The moment she’d dreaded would soon be upon her. Although she knew it had to be done, it wasn’t easy for her to accept.

  “Come in,” she said in a tight voice.

  Without turning to look, she watched through the mirror as Cade opened the door and came inside. As soon as he saw her at the vanity, he stopped. His gaze moved over her hair and her nightclothes. His Adam’s apple jumped in his throat. At least she wasn’t the only one nervous about tonight.

  “I... thought you’d be in bed by now.” Cade closed the door, moved to the single chair near the window, and sat.

  “No. It takes a while for me to calm down enough to rest.” She set the brush on the vanity table and stood. Trying not to look at Cade, she stepped toward the bed and took off her wrapper. Her hands shook as she lowered the covers on the bed.

  “You know, Carrie, if this is too uncomfortable for you, I can sleep on the couch or the floor in front of the hearth.”

  The thought had crossed her mind, but then she pushed it away. She needed to get used to her new marriage now, or she never would. “No, you don’t have to do that. This bed is big enough for the two of us.”

  As she climbed onto the mattress, her thoughts briefly returned to Michael. There were many nights she went to bed alone because he was working late. Several times she’d gone to bed upset at him and slept closer to her side of the bed while he hugged his side of the bed all night. Indeed, the bed was large enough for two people who didn’t want to touch each other while sleeping.

  Carrie adjusted herself on the mattress and pulled the blankets up to her chin. She tried to avoid looking at Cade. There was something different about his expression tonight, which made her heart thump quicker. She was certain he was thinking about what would – or would not – happen tonight, too.

  “Where should I undress?” he asked after a few seconds of nervous silence.

  “Right where you’re at is fine. Carrie rolled on her side, facing the opposite direction.

  During the next few minutes, all she heard was his jeans’ crackling and the rustling of fabric against fabric, and then his boots dropping to the floor. She squeezed her eyes closed, but that didn’t make the sound disappear, and it definitely didn’t help the images popping into her head. He was slightly taller than Michael, and Cade appeared to be built better, as well. She always thought Michael should eat more to put more meat on his bones.

  The bed shifted as he climbed on the mattress, and then the covers tugged toward him. Carrie too
k a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself, but it wasn’t working. She felt the tension between her and the man lying next to her, and she didn’t know how to make it go away.

  “Carrie,” he finally said. “We don’t need to do anything tonight, you know.”

  Relief weakened her limbs, yet at the same time, it also sped up her heartbeat. Cade was thinking about the same thing that had been on her mind.

  “I...” she licked her dry lips as she opened her eyes and stared at the wall, “I just think it’s too soon.”

  “So do I.”

  She expelled the gush of air still in her lungs. “I’m glad we agree on something.”

  Carrie watched the low light from the lamp dance on the wall. Although she’d rather be looking at him, she knew it wasn’t a wise choice to make right now. She didn’t want him to think she’d changed her mind. But she was wide awake, and she needed something to calm her down.

  Her mind scrambled to think of a topic. All she knew about Cade was the rotten boy he used to be, his family, and especially his older brother, who she’d had a crush on. “So, tell me, Cade, how are your brother and sister doing?”

  “They are all doing fine. My brother, Jacob, is a lumberjack in a small logging town in Montana, and he’s doing quite well for himself.”

  “That’s wonderful. Is Jacob married?” Carrie didn’t know why she asked. It wasn’t like she still had a girl’s crush on him.”

  “No. He was engaged a few times, but he never married.”

  “Did he call off the wedding, or was it the woman?”

  Cade chuckled. “He did. He claimed he wasn’t ready.”

  “What about your sister, Savannah? Is she married yet?”

  “No. The last time I spoke with Ma, she was getting desperate to find Savannah a husband. She’s become quite the wild-child in New York.”

  “Oh, dear. That can’t be good.” She drew the tip of her finger over the patterns in the quilt. “Perhaps your parents should send her to where your brother is living. I’m sure the logging town has plenty of single men in need of a good wife.”

  A laugh came from Cade. “How do you know she’ll make a good wife?”

  “You are just awful.” Carrie grinned and reached behind her to hit Cade. When her fingers brushed against his arm, she realized it was bare. Holding her breath, her heartbeat quickened once again. Was he one who liked to sleep in his altogether?

  She gulped down a hard swallow, praying he wasn’t like that. She definitely couldn’t sleep with a man who didn’t wear anything to bed.

  “I’m sorry, you’re right.” Laughter was still in his voice. “I’m sure once my sister matures a little more, she’ll make a... decent wife.”

  “I’m sure she will,” she answered in a small voice. “And when that happens, your parents will be relieved.”

  “Actually, it’s only my mother because...” Suddenly, his hand tenderly landed on her shoulder. “Carrie? I don’t enjoy talking to the back of your head. Please turn and face me.”

  She didn’t dare... Then again, she didn’t want Cade to think she was frightened of a man’s body – or him in general.

  Taking a deep breath, she found the courage to turn in bed, keeping the covers over her the best she could. As soon as her gaze landed on Cade, she immediately noticed his bare arms folded behind his head and the top part of his bare chest that the quilt wasn’t covering.

  Oh, my! It was all she could do not to sigh aloud and let him know how much she admired his muscular body. Her body began trembling, and she tried not to let him see.

  “Cade,” she said in a scratchy voice that was entirely too deep. “Forgive me for asking, but do you usually sleep... this way... at night?”

  “You mean without a shirt?”

  Relief flooded her again. Thankfully, Cade was wearing something on the lower half of his body. “Yes, without a shirt.”

  He shrugged. “Usually.”

  “Won’t you get cold?”

  He shook his head. “Not generally.”

  “It gets really cold here in the winter.”

  He smiled. “Thanks for the warning.”

  She struggled to keep her gaze on his face, but occasionally, it drifted down to his bare and very wide shoulders. Michael wouldn’t have liked Cade at all. Her husband never did like men when they showed off their muscles.

  Carrie snapped her thoughts back to the conversation. “So, what were you saying about your parents? Are they still in New York?”

  “Pa moved him and Ma to the big city because of her allergies. He became an accountant, but then about five years ago, he was hit by a runaway carriage and killed instantly.”

  Carrie gasped. “Oh, Cade. That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”

  “It was a shock to the whole family. But Ma and Savannah are doing pretty well in Upstate, New York. Ma is a seamstress.”

  “I’m glad she can do that.”

  “And what about your parents?” Cade wondered. “Is your father still a lawyer?”

  She nodded. “Not much has changed with them. My father is always helping a client, and Mother is usually out socializing.”

  “What did they think of you moving clear out here?”

  “They didn’t like it one bit, but Michael and I felt this was where we wanted to raise our children.” Her voice broke as despair came over her. They had dreams, and now they were shattered.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She inhaled a shaky breath. Crying now wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make her more miserable. “Forgive me for bringing up the past. I shall try not to let it happen again.”

  “I understand you’re still in mourning, Carrie. Please don’t think you can’t talk about the past because you can.”

  She struggled to smile. “But it wouldn’t be right to think I’m comparing you with Michael. You and he are not alike in any way.”

  “Then, I won’t be competing with his memory?” Cade asked.

  She wanted to tell him, no, and yet, deep down in her heart, she knew he would be. Michael had been a good man. Cade would have to prove his worth, not only to her but also to Tilly and Parker Joe – and maybe even the rest of the town.

  “Cade, I’m still mourning, but eventually, I’ll realize Michael is not coming back.”

  He rolled to his side, facing her. She held her breath, not wanting him this close, and yet, the longer she gazed into his eyes, her heart began to soften. Perhaps her mourning period wouldn’t be that much longer, and she could start to really like Cade Hamilton.

  “I understand, Carrie.” He touched her hand. “And I’m here to help you in any way.”

  The flutters in her chest increased. He was too darn charming and good-looking for his own good... It would be hard to resist this man, she just knew it.

  FIVE

  Cade couldn’t sleep any longer. Usually, once the sun made its debut, he was out of bed and getting ready to start the day. However, when a woman’s warm body cuddled up next to him, it was near impossible to leave the comfort.

  As his mind slowly came alert and opened his eyes, he couldn’t believe that Carrie was in his arms. He wasn’t sure how that happened, but at the moment, he wasn’t going to question fate – just enjoy the rewards of being a new husband... well, at least some of the rewards.

  He realized Carrie was much prettier than she’d been as a little girl. Of course, he didn’t expect her to stay the same, but she’d grown into a woman’s body, and she now had real womanly issues to deal with. Laying in his arms like this, with her head resting in the crook of his shoulder while her hand positioned perfectly over his heart, she appeared so peaceful. With her long eyelashes, and her tempting heart-shaped mouth, and the loose dark hair curling down over her shoulders, she looked desirous.

  Cade shouldn’t be having thoughts like this. He’d realized last night that he might never measure up to her precious Michael. Cade would probably always be the fill-in husband. Yet, there was a moment during their conversation
last night before they fell asleep, which made him hope for a happier future. Their marriage had started badly, but with a lot of work from both of them, he was sure they could eventually fall in love.

  Expelling a breath, he very slowly started pulling away from her. The movement jarred her momentarily awake because she moaned and slid her arm around his waist, holding onto him. He gritted his teeth. Why had she done that? If only she knew it was him, she held onto and not her precious Michael...

  Once her breathing became regular again, he tried once more to leave her side. Carefully, he lifted her arm from around his waist as he slowly moved away. Just when he thought he could break free this time, she let out another moan, and her whole body snuggled beside him. Her leg even hooked across his leg. This was not good!

  Yet, it felt nice. Too nice. If he didn’t find some way to move away from her now, he’d be in big trouble. Lonely men like himself were weak when it came to enticingly beautiful women like Carrie.

  Although his mind kept telling him she was his wife, he knew he must give her the time needed to adjust to him. He couldn’t start kissing her unless she welcomed it.

  Finally, he was able to pull away. When she blindly reached for him, he snatched his pillow and put it under her hand. She took it and pressed it against her bosom as she continued to sleep.

  Sighing with relief, he didn’t waste time as he readied himself for the day. Just as he slid on his boots, he heard Parker Joe crying from down the hallway. Cade’s attention snapped to Carrie, thinking she would wake up, but she continued to sleep like an unconscious person.

  He left the bedroom and walked down the hallway toward the baby’s room. He opened the door and peeked inside. The room was still slightly warm with a small fire still burning in the hearth, which meant Tilly must have checked on the baby sometime during the night. Parker Joe sat in his crib, and when the baby saw Cade, his crying stopped immediately. The baby’s eyes widened in fear. Cade didn’t want to scare the poor kid, and yet, it appeared the women in the house weren’t waking up to help Parker Joe.