The Last Stand of Charlotte Dodd: Fun, Action Chick Lit Spy Saga

by Holly Kerr

  “How’s our Lancelot this afternoon?” Pippa asks, giving Lance a grin as she swings by his desk. He’s learning, but still wet behind the ears and she treats him like a mascot.

  Lance has been with us four months, recruited from the Army base in Newfoundland. He looks like he should be on a cover of those romance novels. Unfortunately, as much as I like to look at him, this isn’t always helpful. Agents should blend, not stand out. But recruitment for the NIIA is way down, and Ham has to take who he can, even if it means pretty boys.

  “Agent Dodd,” he says in response, which stops Pippa in her tracks.

  “N-uh.” She gives a vehement shake of her head and points to me. “That’s Agent Dodd. I’m Agent McGovern. Or Agent Pippa, or just Pippa.”

  “I thought you took Declan’s name?” Tenley asks from the seat beside Lance.

  “I did, but not in here. It’s just too confusing. It’s bad enough this place is like a commune for the Dodd family. I mean, in the family, who doesn’t work here?”

  No one mentions Seamus.

  Perry taps loudly on the table with a frown. “If you’re finished chatting.”

  “We have a situation in Suriname,” Ham begins as Pippa and Declan find their seats. “Charlotte, you’re on point for this one with Tenley, Pippa, and Lance.”

  I’d have to be blind to miss the mixed expression on Lance’s handsome face—delight and pure fear.

  I’m not sure if the fear is from the thought of his first mission or if it’s because the mission is with me, Tenley, and Pippa.

  Pippa snickers. “Ready to play with the big girls, are you?” she asks him with a leer.

  Declan laughs but Ham looks pained. He’s usually good at dealing with Pippa. He’s good at everything—always stoic, always somber, always determined to get his agents home safely.

  I know it still upsets him that more of my memories haven’t come back.

  “What’s Suriname?” Lance asks and I fight not to roll my eyes. Lance has been near perfect in his training, and on paper, he’s ready for his first mission, but I’m not positive yet.

  Ham swipes a screen to bring up a map, which morphs into a 3-D view of the tiny South American country. “During the recent national elections, a Brazilian warlord named Hector Evangelist has attempted a coup.”

  A face flashes on the screen; leathery skin, slicked-back hair, and threatening expression. I glance over my shoulder at Declan. “Isn’t it nice not to have to deal with Mielson anymore? Brazilian warlords sound like fun.”

  “You might prefer Mielson over Evangelist,” Ham says. “He’s particularly nasty.”

  “Is there any other kind of warlord?” Pippa asks.

  “Why the fuss over Suriname?” Tenley wants to know.

  “They’re the leading provider of bauxite, which is used for aluminum, among other things,” Ham continues in response to the blank look on Lance’s face. “America wants control over it and so does Japan. Hector Evangelist thinks if he gets in there first, he can barter with both.”

  “Makes sense,” Pippa says. I shift in my chair. Is Pippa serious? Because having two of the world’s superpowers fighting over chunks of rocks doesn’t really make sense to me.

  I don’t bring that up, however. “So, yes—nice country, probably very warm, I like the Dutch. Why does Canada care?” I clear my throat as at the front of the room, Ham’s eyes widen and my brother Perry rolls his eyes. “I mean, of course, we care, but what are we doing about this situation?”

  “Bryton Raak is poised to win the election and Evangelist wants him out of the way. We need to get to him first.”

  Tenley has a strange expression on her face and Ham won’t look me in the eye. Even Perry gives me a side-eye.

  I heave a sigh. Will I ever stop regretting my missing memories? “Okay, so I take it I know this guy?”

  Chapter Three

  “Don’t confuse a career with having a life.”

  Hillary Clinton

  “You don’t remember him?”

  I recognize the hopeful expression in Ham’s eyes, which worries me. “No, but I think Tenley does. Do I want to remember him?”

  Tenley has never been one to flinch from telling me the hard stuff. She still has my memories—no skips for her. She says I can ask her anything but I try not to because it makes both of us uncomfortable. Her, because she knows so many intimate details about my life; me because I basically know nothing about myself.

  Tenley may know more about my past than I do, but I still remember enough to be a better agent than she is.

  Now she leans over her desk across the room and looks me right in the eye. “Not at the moment, no.”

  “Fair enough.” I pull on my braid as every fiber of my being demands to know what’s up with this guy.

  I’ll ask Tenley later. Away from Ham—just in case.

  Or Ida. She’ll know. She’s my personal Q, Moneypenny, and Bosley combined in one tattooed, pink-haired brainiac.

  “This is an extraction only mission,” Ham continues, taking the attention off me. “Get in, find Raak, and get out. Our intel says he’ll be at the President’s mansion with a defensive team. Wheels up in forty-five. Dossiers are in your rooms, as well as your equipment. Charlotte, Pippa, I need you to remain for a moment.”

  Pippa meets my gaze. How does he know? she mouths. I shrug.

  Ham stands silently at the front of the room as the others file out, each one giving us sympathetic glances as we remain in our seats. This is my husband, but I still feel like a naughty student about to be reprimanded by the headmaster.

  After the door closes behind Perry, Ham takes only a moment to glance at us before he begins. “There will be no further unsanctioned, unprovoked, public incidents. Is that clear?”

  “Just so we’re clear.” I wince at Ham’s unsmiling expression. “What incident are we talking about?”

  Ham touches a button on his desk and a black and white video begins. I slump in my seat, avoiding his steely gaze. “Does this refresh your memory?”

  “That was a nice move,” Pippa murmurs as the video shows me flipping the guy over my shoulder. She raises her voice to address Ham. “Technically, this was a provoked incident. Does your video show what they did to the old man and the baby, plus the two women? In our opinion, this needed to be contained.”

  “That may be your opinion, but Agency is not to be concerned with incidents such as this,” Ham lectures.

  It’s not the first time I’ve heard this speech.

  “It’s not your place to intervene, Pippa. Or you, Charlotte.” The unspoken you know better hangs between us. “This isn’t the first time I’ve had to speak to you, but I trust it will be the last. I’ve written off the past incidents as you were acting in self-defence, but there is no excuse this time.”

  “But Charlie acted in self-defence,” Pippa protests.

  Why am I not defending myself? Is it because I believe Ham is right? I’ve been an agent since I was a teenager; I know the rules.

  But lately, it’s become difficult to walk away. With my skills and strength, I have the ability to help, so why shouldn’t I?

  I know Pippa and Tenley feel the same way.

  “You are not vigilantes.” Ham’s voice deepens. “I understand you want to help, but you can’t provoke others like this. I don’t have the power to clean it up.”

  “I doubt that,” Pippa mutters.

  “I don’t have the time to clean it up,” he corrects firmly. “What would have happened if the police had gotten there sooner? Regardless of the situation, you assaulted those people, Charlotte, and the police would have taken you into custody. That would have caused questions and explanations that we don’t have the ability to give out. You both are agents of the Canadian government and your specialized training makes you dangerous. The police won’t understand that.”

  “Because we’re women.” I fold my arms across my chest.

  Ham sighs heavily. “Exactly. I know it’s not fair, but
you took down four individuals, Charlotte. In the opinion of most of society, the police included, women are not supposed to be able to do that. How would you begin to explain your skills? ‘My grandfather made me a spy’?”

  “Well, he did.”

  “And this country is quite pleased he did so. But the public doesn’t need to know that.” Another sigh. “I’d be surprised if your little outburst doesn’t end up on social media.”

  “I’ll check.” Pippa pulls out her phone but catches me shaking my head before she can do anything. “Or maybe I won’t.”

  “Please don’t,” Ham says ruefully. “Why don’t you go suit up for this mission and Charlotte will be along shortly?”

  Pippa gives me a skeptical look, and I nod. “Wheels up in forty-five,” I remind her. “Go get ready.”

  “I started it,” she says to Ham as she gathers up her handouts and heads for the door. “I made the first strike. Not Charlotte.”

  He nods grimly. “But Charlotte continued it.”

  Pippa gives me a sorrowful backwards glance as she leaves. I smile in return.

  The door closes behind her, leaving me alone with Ham. “She’s a very good agent, but she makes decisions based on emotion, rather than rationale,” he mutters.

  “I think that’s what makes her a good agent,” I protest. “She sees a wrong and doesn’t just want to fix it, she needs to fix it.”

  “Surprising when you consider her background,” Ham concedes. “Lately, I see more of her influence on your actions.”

  “This wasn’t Pippa’s influence, Ham. Maybe I took it too far, but I’m bored! I’ve got nothing to do.”

  “There’s always training—”

  “I’ve trained everyone here. I’m a field agent, and there’s no field to be an agent in anymore.” I push back my chair and jump to my feet. “Give me something to do. Someone to fight.”

  “It’s good when things are quiet,” he reminds me.

  “Good for the world, but I get antsy.” I ball my hands into fists, then flex. “I have all this energy and all I use it for is to go to movies. I sit and eat popcorn and watch movies about fake spies saving the world. I can do that too!”

  “And you have, and unfortunately will most likely need to do it again. Until then, take some time for yourself.”

  “I have too much time for myself,” I pace across the room, dodging the desks and chairs. “Isn’t there something I can do around here to help you? Plan missions? Run surveillance squads?”

  “What about what we discussed last night?”

  Babies. I turn my back, chewing my lip for a moment before facing him again. “Have we moved on from the lecture then?”

  Ham rolls his eyes, a very unlike Ham gesture. “I don’t want to lecture you, Charlotte, but sometimes you give me no choice. But, yes. I need to know if you’re all right.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be all right?” I demand to offset the warmth of my cheeks. “I just stopped taking the pills last night. It’s not like I’m going to be pregnant already.”

  “You could be,” Ham mutters.

  “I don’t feel pregnant.”

  “How would you know what pregnant feels like?”

  I move around the desks to stand before him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “If you’re so worried, why are you sending me to Suriname?”

  “Because even with the point one percent chance that you might be pregnant, you’re still the best we have.” He smoothes my hair with a steady hand. The difference between how he is now and the giddy excitement of last night is unbelievable. Even if I recorded him practically jumping up and down with delight at the possibility of having a baby, no one would believe it.

  I rest my head on his chest. I know it’s the status of the NIIA’s new recruits, not the possibility of baby-making that keeps him up at night. “They’ll get there.”

  “I know, but I need them now.”

  “There’s always Seamus.”

  Ham stiffens. “He’s not ready yet.”

  “Are you sure it’s not because you’re not ready to trust him yet?” I crane my neck to look at his face, knowing what I’ll see; Ham’s usual stoic expression with the addition of a muscle in his cheek twitching as he clenches his jaw.

  I’m not disappointed. “Ham, you know why he did it,” I say impatiently. “He worked for MI-6. He was never really with Mielson. You know all this because he’s explained it. Even apologized. Let him in, because we can really use him.”

  “I’m not ready to trust him with you,” he says in a stubborn voice.

  I roll my eyes. “He’s my brother. He’s actually my favourite brother, but don’t tell Declan or Caleb. Perry knows he’s not my favourite—” I check myself at Ham’s expression. “I’m just saying that who more can you trust than my very favourite brother?”

  But Ham still shakes his head. “He put you in danger when he sent you to rescue your mother, and for that, I won’t forgive him.”

  My attempted rescue of my mother from a North Korean prison was one of the reasons for my memory download. I’m happy those ones haven’t come back.

  “Well, I’ve forgiven him, so isn’t that all that matters? Plus, look at how he is with Tenley. He’s a good guy, you’ve got to realize that.”

  “We’ll talk about this later. You’ve got to go.”

  I pull away. “You always say that and we never do,” I complain. “Christmas is coming up, so can you try? Look at it as a Christmas present for me—you and Seamus getting along.”

  “I don’t not get along with him.”

  “I don’t know what you call it, but it’s not getting along.”

  “If that’s the only present you want, then maybe I should take back—”

  I slap my hand against his broad chest. “Don’t even think about it. You’re not taking away my cat.”

  After months of negotiating and cajoling, I finally convinced Ham to get me a cat. The tiny gray kitten arrived a week ago, immediately christened Mr. Cat, shortened to Mister, and has already wormed his way into my heart.

  And regardless of what Ham says about him, I caught him with Mister curled up in his lap the other night, so I know he’s just as smitten as I am.

  Ham smiles down at me, the expression softening the unyielding lines of his face and transforming him from classically handsome to downright amazing looking.

  His smile still makes me melt.

  “I’m not taking away your cat,” he concedes, his arms wrapping around my waist and tugging me back against him.

  “You’re definitely not taking my cat. You like him too.”

  “I may tolerate him. I think that’s enough.”

  “You gave him a treat. That’s you liking him.”

  I rest my head against his chest again, breathing in his scent, so manly and clean. “Charlotte?” Ham’s voice is regretful. “You’ve got to go.”

  I groan. “If you say my country needs me, I’m going to hit you again.”

  When I look up, he gives me the lopsided grin that only I ever see. “It kind of does.”

  “Well, maybe I need to stand here and hug my husband for another minute.”

  Some days—most days—I still have trouble believing I’m married to this man.

  “Do you ever wonder what it would be like if I wasn’t rushing away all the time?” I ask quietly. “If you weren’t the king of logistics of sending me everywhere?”

  “All the time. Some day…”

  He doesn’t finish his thought. He doesn’t have to because both of us know that most agents never retire. I went into this knowing that I’ll be doing it for the rest of my life, however long or short that may be.

  But last night, after our talk about having kids, and the sexy time that followed, I lay awake thinking of reasons to stop. It made me feel hopeful, like the first sight of a rainbow.

  I’m still thinking about it as I head out to meet the others.

  Chapter Four

  “Being a spy was something like st
anding on the south shore fending off a hurricane with a $2 poncho and an umbrella.”

  Lynn Blackmar

  After leaving Ham with one last kiss, I head to my room. Every agent is given a room in Head Office to use as a change room, meeting place, or somewhere to catch a quick nap.

  As I change out of my jeans into more suitable spy attire, I pause before the mirror and slip my hand onto my flat stomach.

  A baby.

  To be honest, I didn’t give much thought about my conversation with Ham last night. I’m a twenty-eight-year-old happily married woman, so the thought of having children shouldn’t be a surprise. But when you’ve spent most of your career dodging bad guys, babies are never the first thing on your mind when you get up in the morning.

  Do I want a baby?

  I’m not sure I know enough about them to answer that. Tenley is the only person I’m close to who has a child. The word in the Dodd family grapevine is that Perry and his wife, Annaliese, are trying to have a baby, but no luck yet. There’s no word on Caleb and Greta, but the way Greta has thrown herself into the updated training program here, I doubt offspring are on her radar yet.

  I’m not close enough to my sisters-in-law to ask about something like this.

  And Declan and Pippa—no. They only married a few weeks before I did, and they’re still acting like a couple of honeymooners.

  My lack of experience with female friendships is showing as I consider who I can talk to about this. I do know that this decision isn’t one to take lightly, but even more so when my career is thrown into the mix. If I get pregnant, I’d have to give up being an agent, at least for a few months. And after that…

  The death of both of my parents looms over me, but I don’t want to think about that. With a shake of my head, I pull on the black, formfitting jumpsuit over a tank top, along with a pair of boots. Time to go to work.

  There’s no need to dwell. Ham helped me symbolically throw out my remaining birth control pills last night. With our schedules, there won’t be a threat of a pregnancy for at least a few months and by that time, I’ll have my head around the thought of being a mother.