Cognati: An Inferno World Novel

by Elizabeth Gray

  “What is it?”

  “It’ll keep you pure, boy.”

  “It’s heavy. I don’t like it. I can be good.” My voice cracks and I sound weak. I’m not a man. Just a boy. Her boy. I’ll always be her little boy. “Please.”

  “I’m sorry, but you need to do your time.”

  “Please—”

  He backhands the words right out of my mouth. I spit out blood and glower at him.

  “There’s fire in your eyes, boy. Do I need to snuff it out for you?”

  I crack my neck and fist my hands. He unbuckles his belt. It comes out with a swish. I’m not afraid. I can take him. He starts for me and I go to run.

  Whap!

  The sting on my ass makes me stumble. My uncle is faster and stronger. He whips me again and again.

  “I’m teaching you a lesson,” he grunts. “One you badly need to learn. One your mother should have learned, but instead, she broke her vows and got pregnant. It’s my place as your uncle to teach you.”

  He hits me over and over until I black out. I’m whimpering on the cold basement floor when he finally grants me a reprieve. He hauls me to my feet and hugs me to him. I’m stiff in his arms, my entire body trembling.

  “Good boy,” he croons. “Much better. Now you just need to spend a little time in the white room.”

  I’m sweaty and crying and dirty from digging my hole. Blood seeps from several lashes, running down my legs. I’ll ruin the white room. I’ll ruin it with me.

  He guides me to the black door and fishes out a keychain from his pocket. Once he unlocks the padlock, he lifts the door. “In you go.”

  Blond hair.

  Familiar blond hair.

  Someone’s in there.

  “No,” I hiss out.

  “Yes.”

  “No!”

  “You must face your temptation and stand strong in the face of it.”

  I try to fight him, but I’m weak and defeated. He shoves me into the hole in the floor and slams the lid shut. I scramble away to the farthest corner.

  “Help. Me.”

  Linda’s face is beaten to a bloody pulp. This must have been all the commotion we heard last night. Her screams. The crashing.

  Which means he knows.

  He knew we were lying.

  My mind is totally fucked right now, especially with Linda reaching for me. I kick her hand away from me.

  “Don’t fucking touch me!” I scream. “Don’t!”

  She sobs, making thick rivulets of blood run down her bashed nose, soaking her naked front. Behind her messy curtain of blond hair, she looks at me with sad blue eyes.

  No.

  I don’t want to see them.

  I look anyway.

  Her breasts. Her pussy.

  Pain throbs from my dick and I groan. I try to remove the contraption, but it’s clamped down on my dick. If I get hard, who knows what’ll happen to my dick. I choke on a sob. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I’m family. They’re supposed to love me and take care of me.

  Linda moans and it gets inside my head.

  Pained moans.

  Moans of pleasure.

  Mom?

  Thrust. Thrust. Thrust.

  No.

  I want to claw my eyes out. I scream and beg and plead for Uncle Charles to rescue me. When he doesn’t come, I try to strike deals with God. I’m met with silence.

  Curling into a tight ball, I try to ignore the woman in the small room with me. Her breathing is ragged. Familiar. Don’t look.

  I peek my eyes open. Remember the way she straddled me. The first time I wanted to throw up, but I came. I came so hard.

  Stop.

  Stop.

  Fucking stop.

  I’m going insane in this stupid box. I need out. I twist my body and start kicking up at the door. No matter how hard I kick, I get nowhere. My feet sting with splinters that have speared themselves into the soft flesh.

  She touches me and I howl. My foot rams her hard in the face. It makes her groan and fall back against the wall. Her groaning reminds me of moaning. I miss Mom. Oh God. The veil. The rosary. My dick is on fire as it attempts to harden but can’t. I’m going to puke. This is Linda’s fault. I kick her hard again, as though I can kick her right through the cinderblocks. She goes nowhere. Instead, falls toward me, her hand flying out, brushing against my thigh.

  More pain.

  My dick!

  I howl and sob and beg.

  No one hears.

  No one helps.

  Rage and hate swell inside me like the rising tides of an ocean of fire. An inferno. Are you a demon? The devil knows pain. How I know this, I don’t know, I just do. He hurts. I hurt. But he is fire. He hurts those who hurt him. I am the same. I am the devil. I’ll burn the bad and keep the good.

  Good boy.

  Good, good boy.

  My skin is on fire.

  Are you a demon?

  I laugh. Cackling, loud, crazed giggles. Mom cowers in the corner. She’s afraid.

  She should be.

  Uncle Charles said a mother can’t take a son as her husband.

  He knows things.

  He knew we lied.

  “I killed you,” I roar, kicking her. “You’re fucking dead!”

  Her throat was so delicate in my hands. I squeezed until she didn’t take any other breaths. It completed the circle of life. She gave me my first breath and I took her last.

  It wasn’t right.

  It wasn’t right.

  All those times. Naked. Shame.

  Tight. Slick. Hot.

  I came. All those times. It felt so fucking good.

  Pain explodes in my dick again.

  “Help,” I croak, begging for the fire to consume me again. The anger chases away the hurt and confusion. I want to burn those parts off of me. Throw them in a deep, deep, deep hole and fill it with gasoline. I want to toss a match in and burn my face on the flames. “Help.”

  The devil knows pain.

  I’m a good boy.

  Tight. Slick. Hot.

  Pain.

  My thoughts are on repeat. Because of her. Mom.

  Eventually, I pass out because my dick is going to destroy this metal and I don’t want to be awake to witness it.

  * * *

  Kristopher

  My hand trembles as I slowly turn the doorknob. I don’t know what to expect. I chopped through the wood as quickly as I could until my hands were raw and bleeding just so I could hurry back. If Karen is in my room, hurt and sad, I’ll lose my mind. I push into the room and exhale a heavy breath of relief.

  Not Karen.

  But the person on my bed confuses me. Maude. The whore. Why is she naked on my bed? Her clothes are in tatters on the floor. Blood is smeared on her thigh and she’s trembling. I look away from her body and out the window.

  Pa.

  He stands out in the woods.

  Beside the same tree where I fingered my sister and Luke stood with us. He could see. Dread pools in my belly. Pa grins. Violence ripples from him. He points at me. Gets inside my head. I can almost hear him.

  Take care of your problem, liar.

  Liar, liar.

  Where’s Karen?

  With the same ax in hand I’d used not ten minutes ago, Pa approaches. He stops in front of the glass and taps the blade against a pane, indicating I should open it. I flip the locks and lift it. A draft rushes in.

  “Where’s Karen?” I growl.

  “Karen is fine,” he bites out. “But she won’t be if you continue to lie and defy me. Maude is your problem now. She’s the wife you wanted. I brought her here and you lost control. It was up to me to make sure she didn’t tell people what you did.”

  I clench my fist. Pa notices and his jaw ticks.

  “Lose the fire, boy, or I’ll snuff it out.”

  “What do you want me to do with her?”

  He dips his chin, his maniacal hazel eyes darting to Maude on the bed. “It doesn’t matter. She’
s yours now.”

  “What’s this?” I demand, pointing to her thigh.

  “She’s not a virgin,” Pa says. “Since you were checking my future wife, I thought I’d check yours.”

  “I don’t want her. She’s tainted now.”

  He leans in the window and glowers. “Not my problem. I’m not the one who wanted a whore for a wife.”

  “This isn’t God’s way.”

  Pa shrugs. “God’s way was flawed. I improved on His way. My way is more gratifying and fulfilling. Now take your whore to bed and become a man.”

  We have a silent standoff.

  “And if I don’t?” I challenge.

  “Karen doesn’t deserve your punishments, but if that’s what it takes to get through to you, then so be it.”

  The fire inside me cools.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Good boy.”

  I stare at her until the room gets dark and the cold air rushing in makes me shiver. I’m woozy and dazed. Confused. I don’t hear any sounds within the house, so Karen must be okay.

  Pa said take care of it.

  He wants me to fuck Maude.

  His seed has dried on her thigh. I bet she made his penis smell of garlic and disappointment. Maude got herself put in this position. It’s up to me to get her out. I’m pondering what exactly I’m going to do when she bolts.

  It takes a minute for my brain to catch up.

  Out the window she goes.

  If she gets away…

  Karen.

  Pa will punish Karen to punish me.

  I scramble out the window after her, grabbing what I need as soon as my feet hit the ground. The whore runs as fast as she can, but she trips over some logs I left when I chopped wood earlier. She cries out, twisting her ankle, and falls. The snap of her ankle echoes in the trees. It makes me want to snap all of her bones. One by one.

  She starts to crawl away, but I can’t have that.

  Not when Karen’s safety is at stake.

  Karen is an angel. She’ll soon be my wife.

  I swing my arm in the air with practiced ease. She howls the second the ax hits her broken ankle. It severs her limb with precision, much like how it does the wood. Maybe it’s not the ax. Maybe it’s me. Years of practice. I swing again, this time whacking her in the upper thigh. Her screams are otherworldly. Blood from an artery sprays up at me like a fountain, splattering my face. Her blood tastes like garlic. I nearly gag because she’s so vile. I yank my ax up and swing again, this time hitting her in her lower stomach, the metal wedge splitting right through her fire crotch. She gurgles and grows limp. Blood oozes from the wound. I jerk the ax out of her body, dragging intestines along with it. It’s messy, but it must be done.

  For Karen.

  For my beautiful angel.

  I swing again, this time going for her horrible freckled face that always looks so dirty. Her head splits in two with a sickening sound of wet meat and bones being crushed. When I pull the ax out of her skull, hunks of brain matter and an eyeball fling out. I toss the ax and stare down at her mutilated body.

  Maude was a whore deserving of such punishment.

  I grab her good leg and pick up the severed foot. My mind drifts to one of Karen’s favorite hymns she sometimes sings after supper. I hum it while I drag the whore through the woods toward the house. I’ll need to bury her. I would stick her in Luke’s hole, but that wouldn’t be very nice. He’s my cousin. That hole, while convenient, is his. He feels a connection to it. I would never taint it with a whore. Instead, I drag the lifeless corpse to the front of the house. I know exactly the place for Maude. So we never forget what a horrible woman she was. I drop her body where I want it and then fetch Luke’s shovel. It takes a long time to dig a big enough grave, but I manage. Once it’s good and deep, I shove her chilled body into it, tossing her freckled foot on top of her. Burying her is much easier than digging the hole. I don’t know how Luke does that digging day in and day out.

  “Perfect,” I utter, admiring the disturbed earth just in front of the first step going up to the porch. “Where we’ll always remember.”

  We’ll step on the whore each day we go outside. On the way to church or to grab the mail from the box. When we greet visitors. She’s lucky I chose this place for her rather than Luke’s lonely hole. It’s the best a whore with a garlic tongue could ask for.

  I put the shovel back so Luke won’t have to hunt for it because I’m considerate and then bury the rest of the lingering intestines and brain matter. Eventually, I rinse off the ax and return it to its place so Pa won’t be angry. I need him to not be angry.

  For Karen.

  I walk back inside to find Pa waiting for me in the living room.

  “Where’s Karen?” I croak, hating how sad I sound.

  “She’s doing the washing. Lots of washing these days,” he says in a distant tone. “So many stains.”

  “My shirt is soiled,” I utter.

  Pa drags his gaze down my front. “That it is. Hand them over. Go wash up and read your Bible until supper.”

  “Karen?”

  He smiles gently at me. “Karen will be there, son. Go on. Do as you’re told.”

  I can’t stop staring at her. She’s untouched and beautiful. No freckles. No eyeballs hanging from their sockets. Just an angel meant only for me. Her eyes aren’t red from crying and she doesn’t seem to be in pain.

  “Where is everyone?” Karen asks, eyeing the two empty chairs.

  Pa scoops some lasagna onto his plate and frowns. “They’re being punished.”

  “Oh.” She bites on her bottom lip and shoots me a worried look.

  “Karen,” Pa says. “I know what you and the boys were up to today. Your brother has taken your punishment. He’s had to do necessary things no man wants to do. You should show some gratitude.”

  “Thank you,” she whispers, though she doesn’t know for what.

  “Anything for you,” I state, tearing my stare from her and slowly turning my head to regard Pa. “Anything.”

  His hazel eyes glitter with delight. “As you’ve proven. This is excellent.”

  I frown. “Excellent?”

  “Your fierce need to protect is admirable. I’m trying to decide if it’s love or the fact you’re twins.”

  “Maybe it’s both.”

  “It’s still not okay for you to put your fingers inside your sister. You claim you want to marry her, yet you defile her in front of your cousin.”

  Karen sucks in a sharp breath.

  “Later,” Pa growls, “I’ll make sure you’re still pure.”

  “I am,” she assures him.

  “She’s no whore like Maude.” I grit my teeth and stare him down. He doesn’t scold me for the fire in my eyes. “Karen is an angel.”

  “And what does that make you, son?”

  I know the answer.

  After what I did to Maude.

  I’m Karen’s counterpart.

  She is light. I am dark.

  Yin and yang.

  Two sides of a coin.

  “It makes me a perfect balance to her goodness,” I tell him, flashing her a wide smile. “God created balance for a reason, Pa.”

  “The student becomes the teacher. You’ve come a long way, son. I’m proud of you.”

  Karen grins at me, knowing what this sort of praise means to me. It makes me want to celebrate by fucking a baby into her. My penis swells in agreement.

  “After supper, let’s meet upstairs for another lesson.” Pa reaches over and pats my hand. “Some lessons are difficult, like the one with Maude today, but they are necessary. Though you may learn things that upset you, they’re still meant to educate. Never forget that.”

  * * *

  Karen

  I’m freshly showered and wearing a gown like Pa instructed. I’m nervous, but thrilled Kristopher will join me in tonight’s lesson. Perhaps we will be able to convince Pa we could be married. He’s proud of my brother, which feels like great strides in
our ultimate goal. With a deep breath, I exhale all my worries before exiting the bathroom.

  Kristopher waits, also dressed in his pajamas. He stalks over to me, his hands sliding into my wet hair, and pins me to the wall. His lips crash to mine and then he dominates me with a kiss that makes me dizzy. If it were up to me, we’d skip the training and go for it. I feel like we know enough to get by. Kristopher claims my mouth and grinds his hard dick against my stomach. I want him so bad it hurts.

  He pulls away and gives me a tender look that makes my stomach clench. “So beautiful. Ready?”

  I nod and then take his hand. He walks us down the hallway and then up the stairs. Pa can be heard humming a hymn just inside his room. We approach the threshold. I cling to Kristopher’s hand, frightened at the scene.

  Linda is nearly unrecognizable. She’s lying naked on the bed as Pa washes her with a wet cloth. On the floor, curled into a fetal position, bloody and abused and naked is Luke.

  Kristopher squeezes my hand and I can feel his heart speed up to match mine. It’s a twin thing. Sometimes I just know.

  “See to your cousin,” Pa instructs. “Kristopher, he’ll need to be let out of his cage. Come fetch the key.”

  Kristopher pulls me into the room and then lets me go to retrieve the key. We both kneel beside Luke. Something metal covers his dick. Kristopher frowns as he unlocks it. He pulls it away. His cock, purple and angry, swells to full size. Luke cries out, grabbing it as tears roll out. I want to assure him everything will be okay, but I refuse to touch him. I’m afraid to step out of line and make Pa angry. Not when Kristopher and I are so close to success.

  My brother rises and then disappears. He returns with a wet cloth. I watch with pride as he tenderly takes care of our cousin. I’m beaming as I try to imagine him as a father caring for our son or daughter. I love him so much.