Call You Mine

by Claudia Burgoa

  “Away?” I try to sound cool.

  “From me.” She sighs. “We know how that goes. Friendships don’t withstand relationships.”

  “We’re forever, Grace,” I remind her. “No matter what happens in life, you’re my person. Is this why you’re in such a hurry? Because you think I’m going to fall in love and forget about you?”

  “No…”

  I glare at her.

  “That’s partially true.” She slumps her shoulders. “Ever since your father died and you moved here, I realized that I’m alone. It’s made me wonder about our future. What’s going to happen once you grow up and have a life?”

  I live for you. You’re my entire world.

  We can’t happen. I made my choice all those years ago.

  You break rules all the time. How different is this from the rest?

  I have to think about this long and thoroughly.

  “Are you sure I’m going to grow up?” I smirk, gently pulling some of the loose hair strands, like a small child bugging his first crush.

  She bursts into laughter. “We both know there’s a lot more to the Beacon you show to everyone else. He wants a family. You might not want it right now, but later you’ll find the woman that’ll be perfect for you. She’s going to fill that emptiness in your heart. I can see it already, a full house filled with little Beacon Aldridges.”

  I could tell her that she’s wrong. There’s no emptiness in my heart because she lives in it. Though, she’s right. I want a family. Kids were never part of my fifty-year plan, but that changed a month ago. Carter stole my heart when I met him. Wanting and being able to have something are two totally different things.

  I want Grace. I can’t have her.

  I want kids. I don’t know if Grace and I have a future.

  But will I ever deserve her heart?

  Would it be amazing to have a little version of her? It’d be life altering. I don’t even know if that’s possible since she’s reluctant to have children who might end up with diabetes just like it happened to her.

  Then there’s our undercover gig.

  “Are you quitting The Organization, G?”

  She shakes her head. “It has nothing to do with…” She closes her mouth and sighs.

  Her father might’ve made things work for him. However, he didn’t marry until he was in his thirties, I think. By then, he started slowing down.

  Grace and I have a double life. We each have our music careers, and when The Organization needs us, we do some undercover jobs that no one else can do. Most of them aren’t too dangerous because we’re public figures and have to keep a low profile.

  That is also why they use us. It’s impressive how much information people provide to celebrities without even noticing.

  “Would you quit?” she asks after a long pause.

  “G, this is too deep of a conversation when all you want is to learn how to date, don’t you think?”

  “Why did you stay in the bunker for three days?”

  “Let it go,” I request.

  “That’s not you.”

  “Maybe I felt alone?”

  “How can you feel alone when you live in a house filled with people who love you?” she asks, exasperated.

  “Do I?”

  “Do you even understand what you’re doing?”

  I’m sure something so stupid is driving her insane, and she’s finally going to chide me about it. “No, but I’m sure you’re going to explain it to me.”

  She growls because she hates when I’m obtuse.

  “You can’t accept my family as yours, and you can’t trust your family either. Nothing can make you happy.”

  “You make me happy.”

  See, right here, I don’t lie to her. She just chooses to ignore me when I tell her how important she is to me. Maybe she doesn’t believe anything I say because I take life lightly and joke about almost everything.

  She gives me a sad smile. “I”—she sighs—“I’ll let it go for now.”

  “So…” I wiggle my eyebrows. “When do we start this dating crash course?”

  “Don’t try to flirt with me. That doesn’t work!”

  I toss my hands up in the air. “Right there is your problem. You overthink everything. Go with the flow. Let things happen…flirt back.”

  She blinks twice. “But this is you.”

  I sigh. “You haven’t thought this through, have you?”

  “I have a list.”

  “Of course, there’s a list.” I groan, exasperated.

  She’s never going to finish one of those lists, not because she doesn’t work on them, but because she keeps adding to them.

  I tilt my head toward the main entrance. “Let’s go to my place. Where are the guys?”

  “They went to the diner,” she answers. “I’ll text them that we’re on our way to your place.”

  “Did you have to bring them?”

  She shrugs. “Your brothers made it sound like you needed an intervention.”

  “I needed time.”

  “Why?”

  “No matter how many times you ask, I won’t answer.”

  “You’re impossible, Aldridge,” she states as I pull her into my arms and say, “You forgot to give me a good luck hug for the New Year.”

  She hugs me back, and the scent of her floral shampoo calms me. Let’s hope that list includes staying with Beacon for the next eternity to learn how to date. Wouldn’t that be amazing?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Grace

  During the walk toward Beacon’s studio, I focus on what I’m going to tell him and ignore the cold air cutting through my bare cheeks. This might be a bad idea. A lot can happen between us. One kiss might lead to another; and what if I end up falling in love?

  The pros are that he knows me better than anyone. After all, we’re best friends.

  Maybe it’s because of our friendship that I shouldn’t do this. What if things end up weird between us?

  Of course, it’s right when I’m about to ask for his help when I realize the plan has an infinite number of holes.

  That’s what happens when you base your future on romantic comedy films and ask for your cat’s advice.

  I won’t complain about my night. I loved receiving the New Year while eating popcorn in pajamas and fuzzy socks. I was on my second movie, Holiday. Please don’t confuse it with The Holiday, the cute movie with Jude Law, Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, and Jack Black. Nope. This one is totally different.

  I’m talking about the old movie with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. He’s playing Johnny and dating a character named Julia.

  It’s evident that they aren’t meant for each other. It’s Linda, the character played by Katherine Hepburn, who is his perfect match. She’s not only fun and outspoken but also has a lot in common with Johnny.

  By the end of the movie, it was established that I need someone with whom I can share everything and can understand my personality. I’m not hard to get along with, but sometimes I can get lost in my music room for hours at a time. Whoever I’m with has to understand it. Then there’s Beacon. No matter what, we will always be friends. They have to accept our friendship.

  Of course, I followed Holiday with An Affair to Remember.

  The kiss Cary Grant shares with Deborah Kerr on New Year’s Eve is one of the most epic, in my opinion, though the entire plot made me think about my life. What if I already shared that perfect kiss with someone, and I missed my chance?

  My brain went into a rabbit hole, searching for answers from the past. Remembering every guy I’ve kissed, dated, or slept with. I’ve kissed many toads, dated not as many because, apparently, I’m undatable.

  Sleeping with them?

  Just a few—fine, two guys—not counting Beacon.

  Yes, an unbelievable number when I’m single, twenty-eight, and actively dating. It’s not about being a prude or having intimacy issues. It’s about believing in love. Have I fallen in love with every guy I had sex wi
th?

  I side glance at Beacon. He might be the closest to being in love than any other guy I’ve gone out with. Was I in love with him?

  Maybe I’m in denial. It’s by choice though. I rather say that I just did it because it’s best to get your first experiences over with the one person who understands you the most. Your best friend.

  When he said we should cool it off, I agreed because…well, it was for the best.

  We’re better as friends, right?

  Bridget Jones’s Diary made me decide to take charge of my life and figure out where things went sideways in my love life.

  The best way to begin my quest is to figure out why Beacon said, “Let’s keep this simple.”

  Why did he do it? I thought there was something growing between us. Instead of answering my question, he responded with one of his own. I hate when he does that.

  Well, if you didn’t think I was right, you should’ve spoken. Seriously, Beacon? I should’ve told you, “Please don’t leave me.”

  First of all, I refuse to acknowledge to him or anyone that I was in love with him at some point in our lives. My heart beats erratically remembering those days. We were about to leave for New York. College awaited us. It was going to be easier to date him away from my father’s overbearing watch.

  Yeah, I was definitely in love. It was that young, innocent, first love. I think young me believed we’d be together forever. Now, I just love him as a friend.

  But it’d be nice if he could tell me what is so wrong with me that he had to say, “Let’s stay friends.”

  We will be together—always—but just as friends.

  It’s right there where the flaws of this ingenious project begin to crack the perfect plan. He plans on flirting with me. The guy is irresistible.

  What if I fall for him?

  He’s going to break my heart. Back when I was sixteen, I got over it because nothing changed between us. Now, things could get ugly, and I can’t lose my best friend.

  As I take a seat in my favorite oversized bean bag, I say, “On second thought—”

  “No!”

  “You haven’t even heard what I’m going to say.”

  Beacon rolls his eyes. “You’re second-guessing your amazing idea. I think we just need to polish it.”

  “It won’t work,” I assure him, but my voice comes out so weak he exhales exasperated.

  “Are you doubting my skills, woman?” He touches his chest and lowers his chin. “If you lose faith in me, I have nothing left.”

  “Now you’re being dramatic.”

  He smirks. “Are we renting you a house in the area?” He doesn’t wait for me to explain why this is a bad idea. The man has made up his mind. “I don’t think living at Tucker’s place is wise. You can always stay here, in my house.”

  “As lovely as this place is and looks a lot like your home in Seattle, I can’t stay underground. It gives me the creeps.”

  “You don’t care about sleeping in a cave, but you can’t live here?”

  “Don’t you remember that movie where the couple stayed underground for thirty years? At least, they had enough food to live long enough, but you don’t have much.”

  “If I get enough provisions for thirty-five years?” he jokes.

  I glare at him. “Don’t even joke about it.”

  “You can stay at Leyla’s house.” He mentions the place she bought when she divorced Pierce.

  She never moved there because they reconciled and remarried. That circles back to the theory of once you love an Aldridge you can’t fall out of love. In my case, it’s either a myth—or I never fell in love with Beacon. I’m in denial.

  “That’s your brother’s office.”

  “And people think you’re simple and low maintenance,” he teases me. “I can buy you a house.”

  “No.” I wave a hand. “Let’s forget about my ridiculous idea.”

  “Why the sudden change? At least tell me a few of those flaws so I can work them out for you.”

  “Let’s say we do it, but there’s at least a glitch or two,” I say, thinking fast. “For example, there aren’t many men I can date in this town. How am I supposed to practice?”

  “You are going to be dating me.”

  “That’s not what my list says.” I wave my cell phone.

  He pulls out his own phone. “Send me the list.”

  “Nope.”

  “You want me to get it?” He smirks.

  I frown. This was a terrible idea. “Stop it. This is serious. I’m not playing.”

  “Me neither. I don’t have much to do this year, and I think we should focus on you.” He’s sauntering like a wild cat about to attack his prey.

  His gaze holds mine. I swear if I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s hungry. Starving. He’s looking at me as if I were a feast, and he’s planning on devouring me. My heart beats fast as I imagine him pouncing on me and kissing me hard.

  Not that I have any fantasies about my best friend. I never dream about him or his taut body. I don’t care much about his muscular, tattooed arms. Well, maybe just a little.

  I clear my throat and my thoughts. This is a bad idea. I need to figure out another way to accomplish what I want. A plan where my best friend isn’t involved.

  “Give me the phone, G,” he orders with that low, sweet, commanding voice that makes everyone think he’s sensitive. They are wrong. The guy is actually demanding. He wants everyone to do as he says. The guy is bossy as fuck. Also, he’s a big subscriber of the saying, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Beacon always gets his way.

  It works with everyone—but me.

  “What’s the big idea, Beacon?” I keep my voice steady and don’t make any sudden movements.

  This guy will take anything as a challenge and fight the phone off me. “I’m not one of your minions ready to do whatever you want. I can do this on my own. Thank you for going along with it though.”

  He leans closer, caressing my cheek with the back of his knuckles. My skin prickles, and I don’t understand the reaction my body is having to him. Maybe it’s that gaze that’s making me shiver.

  “Back off,” I order.

  He takes a step back, and I jump out of the chair. We need distance. I need to shake off the stupid tingly feelings.

  This isn’t me.

  I don’t swoon after him. He’s a player. Guys like Beacon aren’t my type, not since I was sixteen.

  “What are you doing?” I cross my arms, glaring at him. Fighting a series of feelings that don’t belong inside me.

  Those are exclusively for Beacon’s groupies.

  “Well, I plan on giving you the courting-boyfriend-swoony experience. After that, you’ll know how to be less…awkward. You’ll also know what you like.”

  I huff. He doesn’t have any of that in him. Does he?

  “So, if I don’t like any of the stuff you do?”

  “I switch it around until we find what makes you happy.” He uses a bass-like voice that reverberates all over my body.

  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he made up his mind, and he’s already in character.

  “What’s your ulterior motive, Aldridge?”

  “There’s no motive, G. You know I’d do anything for you,” he says, and the honesty in his eyes alters everything inside me.

  He will do anything, just as I would for him, but dating is…It’s a bad idea. Isn’t it?

  “If we do this, we should set some limits.”

  He rolls his eyes. “There aren’t any limits in dating.”

  Extending his hand and wiggling his fingers, he requests, “The list. I need to see it.”

  Instead of giving him my phone, I text him the list.

  “We can have fun with number one.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Lots of fun. I can’t wait to fluster the fuck out of you.”

  “Limits,” I repeat.

  “There’re no limits, and when you flirt, you have to dish it back,” he counteracts. “Imagine we�
��re playing a melody, and I start a solo riff with my guitar. You join with the cello and play just as hard. Can you listen to the beautiful music we’re making together?”

  I close my eyes and I do. That’s exactly how we always play the best melodies.

  Have we been flirting all this time? I open my eyes, confused. “Flirting is like music?”

  He nods. “I play hard. You sweeten it with your melodic voice and some delightful charm.”

  “Sounds easy.”

  “And fun,” he adds. “Just go with the flow.”

  I take a long breath before saying, “I can do that.”

  “Number two is a good one. I think it’ll need a lot of practice though. Learn to kiss well…” He winks at me. “You’re in for a treat.”

  “Cocky much?”

  “No, just being honest. You want a demonstration?” He takes a step and closes the short distance between us. “I’d love to give you a free sample.”

  I stare at his lips. It’s been so long since the first time we kissed. It feels like decades.

  Fourteen years, but who’s counting. Wow, it’s been more than a decade since the day I told him, “I’ve never been kissed. If I ask you to be my first…?”

  I wanted my first kiss to be unique. From someone I cared about and who cared about me in return. It wasn’t perfect, but it was addictive. So addictive that we found time to do more and more until two years later, we made love.

  When he said we should stop, it felt like a sign.

  Mom warned me that we could break each other. I shared her fear that I would end up hurt pretty bad. Would he have broken me, though?

  What if he breaks me this time?

  “You’re overthinking, G,” he says with that easy voice that makes me feel like everything is possible.

  “What if this ruins our friendship?”

  “Nothing can ruin it,” he assures me. “I’m yours forever, remember?”

  My heart stops because he’s always told me that before, but the way he says it now, it feels more than I’m your friend forever.

  Maybe he’s right. I’m overthinking everything.

  “Learn to talk dirty.” He laughs, moving on to the next point. “It’s right next to push away your inhibitions and stop being an introvert.”