by Mia Jones
“Not bad enough. I need to move on.”
Andy kept glancing at the man. The look on his face as the guy watched them dance was sending a shiver down his spine.
Andy could tell he definitely wanted to pound him into the ground.
“What’s his name?”
“Kaden.” Just saying his name hurt. “Let’s not talk about it anymore.”
“Sure,” Andy replied.
They danced another slow dance before they walked back to the group.
Chapter Nine
Kaden used the heel of his hand to press on his chest. It was physically painful to watch her walk away from him, knowing it was probably the last time he’d ever talk to her.
He didn’t even try to listen to Tammy. All he heard was Lilah’s sweet tone of voice, and all he saw was the way she looked at him like he was special.
He could tell she was unhappy from the slope of her shoulders. He was a bit relieved when her friend pulled her onto the dance floor. He wanted to see her smile just once, but every glimpse he got of her in the small group of women was sadness. Sadness he’d caused.
His body stiffened as a man stopped her on the dance floor. He felt himself start to stand, but then he sat abruptly when she walked into his arms.
A jealousy unlike he’d ever felt raced through him, but he had to remind himself he’d made her walk away. Now he had to watch another man put his hands on her, and he wanted to rip him apart.
He sucked in a lung full of air and held it, hoping it would calm him down.
It made him feel slightly less murderous when they separated and walked back to the group and talked with other people.
He’d been concerned when he’d first seen her that night. Besides the darkness under her eyes and the weight loss, the glow she usually had was absent.
He watched her press on her forehead more than once and knew she was fighting a headache.
He stood, ignored Tammy’s exasperation, and started toward Lilah. He couldn’t take it another moment. Someone needed to take care of her. He could tell himself he wasn’t right for her, but he didn’t see anyone else step up to take care of her.
Lilah felt him before he’d made a sound.
“Let me take you home. I can tell you don’t feel good.”
Lilah turned and tilted her head back. No matter how much he hurt her, she still had to force herself to not jump into his arms.
“Thank you, Kaden, but I’m not your responsibility. Go back to your girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” he growled.
Lilah shrugged. The headache had grown, and now it pulsed in her temples, making her slightly nauseous.
“It’s none of my business.”
Kaden gritted his teeth. “Just let me get you home…”
“No, I’ve already got a ride.”
Kaden’s eyes narrowed on the man standing next to her.
“I didn’t take you as a flighty woman.”
“What does that mean?” Lilah asked in confusion.
“You hop from one man to another pretty quickly.”
He could have kicked himself at the devastated look on her face.
“So, I’m from a great family, and now Adam is my boyfriend?” she asked in an astonished voice.
A muscle in Kaden’s jaw pulsed.
Lilah shook her head sadly. “You seem to think you know me pretty well.” Lilah turned and picked up her purse. “Hanna, are you ready?”
“Yes, let’s go.” Hanna looked back and forth between Lilah and Kaden.
Lilah walked off without another word.
Addison grabbed a hold of Kaden’s arm as he went to follow them.
“Kaden,” she snapped at him. “You’ve got to stop messing with her emotions.”
Kaden brushed a hand through his hair.
“I’m not.” He stood and stared at the door Lilah had just walked out of. “Fuck.”
“I don’t understand you?” Addison said. “You know she’s attracted to you; she has been since the first time she saw you. We both know you want her, so what’s really holding you back?”
“Jesus, look at her and then at me. We couldn’t be more different. Everything about her is bright, sweet, and kind, and I’m the opposite. From my childhood to my attitude, to my looks and…”
“And what?” Addison asked.
“Needs.”
Addison crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at him. “Tell me what you mean?”
“My personality is about as dominant as a person can get. I’ll want to take care of her, but I’ll also want to be in charge. I can’t have it any other way. I’ve tried with women a hell of a lot stronger than Lilah, and they haven’t been able to deal with me.”
“Give me some ‘for instances’?”
Kaden’s jaw bunched. He wasn’t used to talking about this with anyone.
“I’d want to know where she’s at all the time.”
Addison nodded. “Every boyfriend I’ve had has been like that.”
“And did it drive you crazy?” he asked, curious.
Addison laughed. “No, the only time it got on my nerves was when he followed me around, hiding just trying to catch me at doing something.”
“That’s fucked-up,” Kaden admitted.
“Yeah, he was heading into the abusive category.”
“I’d never do that.”
Addison nodded. “I didn’t think you were the type. Tell me more.”
“I’d want to take care of her. I’d want to feed her, make sure she was comfortable and had everything she wanted.”
“So far, I don’t see a problem. I bet it’s been driving you crazy, not being with her?”
“You’ve no idea. Talk about stalking. I sat outside of her house when I could to watch over her.”
“I wish she had known you were there.” She didn’t want to make Kaden feel bad, but Lilah might have been able to get some sleep. “Anything else?” she asked.
Kaden ran his fingers through his short hair again.
“I…in the bedroom…,” he tried to continue but stopped.
“You’re a dominant lover, also?” Addison guessed and grinned at the blush that stained his cheeks.
He snorted. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“Unless you physically hurt her, I still can’t see a problem.”
“Jesus, look at my size and then hers.”
“I’ve seen couples with the same scenario, and they make it work.” She paused. “It’s like you’re trying to come up with excuses.”
He huffed out a laugh. “Fuck, probably.” He turned and looked Addison in the eyes to make sure she understood what he said next. “I’m telling you if she gives herself to me, I won’t be able to let her go. Do you understand?”
Addison saw his intensity, but she also saw a man who would do anything to make Lilah happy, and she knew her friend needed that more than anyone else she’d ever known.
“I get it.” She smiled. She paused for a moment to watch the expressions on Kaden’s face. She could tell he was fighting himself and losing, so she decided to give him a little push. The two had wasted enough time. “I wish you could have seen the way she reacted to you.”
“How?”
“Like she got hit by lightning. She couldn’t take her eyes off you.” She smirked. “I even told her a few times you were too much for her to handle, and it didn’t make a difference to her.”
A dark scowl shadowed Kaden’s face. He didn’t like that Addison tried to keep her from him even though he’d been doing the same thing. He knew it was irrational, but every feeling he had for Lilah was over the top.
“She didn’t really get a look at me then,” he guessed.
Addison barked out a laugh.
“Oh, yeah, she did. I even asked her once if she’d seen your scar.” She shook her head and chuckled. “I thought she was going to take my head off. She is as protective of you as you seem to be with her.”
Kad
en’s shoulders relaxed as he contemplated what Addison was telling him. He started to shake his head.
“She’ll go running when she finds out where I came from.”
Addison looked uncomfortable and then looked away to hide her expression.
“What?” Kaden asked when he caught her hesitation.
“I don’t feel comfortable telling you everything. I will tell you she definitely didn’t come from a middle-class family, in a nice neighborhood.”
“Then, where?”
“All I’m going to tell you is she never had a family.”
His head jerked. “What the fuck?”
Addison shrugged. “You think you had it bad, Lilah had it worse.”
Kaden pinched the bridge of his nose. That shit was fucked up. He’d much rather think she had a great childhood than her fighting to get through every day.
“How bad?” he asked, even though he didn’t really want to know.
Addison sighed. “She’s going to have to tell you the rest.”
She reached out and held onto his forearm. “I actually think she needs you a lot more than even I can guess. She’s never had a family of her own, and I know for a fact, it’s something she’s dreamed about since she was very young.”
“What if she can’t handle me?”
“Do you really want to know what I think?’ she asked him.
“Yes,” he said even though his insides twisted with anxiety.
“I think you both will figure out a way to make it work. I think if there’s something she dislikes; you won’t do it and it will be okay. You’ll still feel fulfilled because you’ll have her in your life.”
He’d never thought about it like that. He was thinking in his usual black and white way when there were so many gray areas in a relationship. He could compromise. If it meant having her in his life, he’d do whatever he had to.
He glanced at Addison. “Thank you.”
Addison grinned. “You’re welcome. But I have to warn you, if you hurt her, I will cut off your dick and shove it down your throat.”
Kaden’s head snapped back. “Holy hell, woman. I didn’t realize you were violent.”
“When it comes to that woman, absolutely.”
Chapter Ten
Lilah waved at Hanna one more time as she drove away before she shut her door and locked it. She then rammed the chair under the knob and put the jars in front of it for extra safety.
Hanna had walked through the house with her and checked everything before she’d taken off, so Lilah felt a small measure of safety.
She knew Hanna had noticed the jars and cans, the same as Addison, but she hadn’t said anything to Lilah about it, and Lilah was glad she hadn’t had to explain.
Lilah made her way into her bathroom and started the tub. She was so tense and upset she knew she wouldn’t be able to relax and ultimately sleep unless she did something to soothe herself. She downed a few aspirin to help take the edge off the headache that had built all night. She stripped off her clothes and climbed in before it was waist deep. She grabbed a hair band she always kept by the tub and secured her hair up on top of her head to keep it dry. She dropped in some lavender bath salts that would help her relax. The headache instantly eased.
When the water was up to her chest, she turned it off and then laid her head back on the bath pillow. She’d gone all out in her bathroom. She’d torn out the old shallow tub and replaced it with an antique clawfoot one she’d always wanted.
Growing up, she’d only been able to take short showers in most of the places she lived. The foster parents usually didn’t like to spend any more money than they had to for the children they fostered.
She closed her eyes as each muscle in her body released the tension and let her relax back.
She let her mind wander. When her train of thought headed toward a certain male, she would stop it and turn to something pleasant, something that made her happy.
***
Kaden drove away from the bar; his only thought was to get to Lilah. He needed to find out everything Addison hadn’t told him. It was driving him crazy to think her childhood had been bad, or God, worse than his.
His chest tightened when he pulled up outside her house to see a Sheriff’s car parked on the curb. He got out and strolled up alongside it.
“Hey, Derek, what’s going on?”
“We’re just keeping an eye on Lilah.”
“Why?” The thought that raced through his mind was that it was his job to protect her, but until just a few minutes ago, he’d fought his instincts to go to her.
“We told her we would when we still couldn’t find Terry, but there had been sightings of him in the area.”
“When?” Why the hell hadn’t he heard about this? He would have been more vigilant watching over her.
“A few weeks ago.”
“How did she even know that?” He didn’t like the strain and fear she must have been feeling knowing that guy might be close.
“She’s come into the office a few times to ask questions. A few of us could tell the stress was getting to her, and so we told her we’d keep our eyes on her. It seemed to help a bit. So, I’ll sit here if I’m not on a call. Several of the other guys are helping out until we find that bastard, Terry.”
Kaden bit back the growl that rumbled in his chest. He knew she wouldn’t have the deputy’s there if he hadn’t pushed her away. He was thankful they’d watched over her, but now she was his to protect.
“What are you doing here? Are you going to sit down the street for hours like you’ve done several times?” Derek asked and then grinned.
Kaden snorted. “No, I’ve come to talk with her.”
“It’s about time.”
Kaden looked surprised.
Derek chuckled at his look. “It’s a small town, man. Plus, I saw you together and the way you looked at each other.”
Kaden rubbed the stubble, his five o’clock shadow on his chin. He was one of those men that could shave twice a day but rarely did it. Now, he knew he’d definitely have to, too protect Lilah’s delicate skin.
He looked at the house and then back at Derek.
“Let me ask you a question?”
Derek nodded. “Sure.”
“Do you think it’s ridiculous to even think of her and I together.”
“Fuck no. I actually think you’d be good for each other. You need softness in your life, and she needs to feel safe.”
Kaden nodded. It did make him feel better, even though he knew it wouldn’t have mattered.
“I’m glad you got your head out of your ass, man. A few of the deputies have been trying to get the courage to ask her out.”
Kaden narrowed his eyes. “And you? Did you think of asking her out?”
Derek grinned. “For about a second until I remembered the look on your face. She’s awesome and totally gorgeous, but I like my balls where they are.”
Kaden chuckled. He turned and raised a hand as he walked to Lilah’s house.
“Good luck, man,” Derek yelled as he drove off.
Kaden knocked on her door and waited.
***
Lilah’s eyes jerked open, and she sat up so fast a wave of water splashed out of the tub, wetting the floor when she heard the knock on the door.
She stood and stepped out of the tub when the person knocked again. She tugged on her robe and walked into the dark living room. She peeked out of the side window. Her breath caught sight of Kaden at the door.
She stood frozen.
“Lilah, open the door, baby.”
Lilah bit down on her lip as she tried to decide what to do.
“Lilah, right now.”
A shiver raced down her spine at the dominance in his tone.
“What are you doing here?” she whispered through the door.
“I’ve come for you.”
Lilah grasped the front of her robe. “For what?”
“Lilah, do you really want to talk about this where the neighb
orhood can hear?”
“I…it’s just…I’m not dressed.”
“Baby, I’ve seen your body before, remember?”
She’d never forget the heat in his eyes he had tried to hide because she had just been traumatized.
“Hold on,” she said and moved the chair and then all the jars off to the side. She unlocked the door and cracked it open with one hand and kept her robe together with the other.
“What do you need?” she asked.
Kaden flattened his hand on the door and slowly started to push it open.
Lilah squeaked but shifted away for the simple fact she didn’t have a choice but to move back. She watched him step inside, turn and lock the door again before he faced her.
***
Kaden leaned back against the door as his eyes scanned her from the top of her head, down to her cute little toes and back up. His already over the top desire for her sky-rocketed, taking his breath.
She’d never been more beautiful to him. Her hair was in a messy bun on her head. The silk robe she had on was plastered to her wet body.
He’d been telling the truth about seeing her body before, but he hadn’t known her like he did right then. With what she’d been through that night kept him from really allowing himself to look and appreciate how beautiful she was.
Lilah smoothed her robe and made sure the belt was tightened. She cleared her throat, clearly uncomfortable.
“So, um, what are you doing here?”
Kaden took a few steps to stand in front of her and then grasped her shoulders.
“I’m here for you.”
She tilted her head back, way back, to be able to see his face.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that I can’t take the thought of losing you.”
“But you’ve never had me,” she reminded him tartly.
A grin spread across his face. The woman barely came up to his chest, yet she was sassing him in a way very few people ever had.
Lilah narrowed her eyes. “What are you smiling about?” she asked suspiciously.
Kaden took the remaining step toward her, bringing him flush with her. He cradled her face in his hands.
“I fucked up. I let my past and my upbringing blind me.”