Under Shadow of Doubt

by Juanita Kees

  How could the man who claimed to love her be so cruel? Paul had always known her heart belonged to Jaime and when he couldn’t change that, he’d chosen to punish her for it physically, mentally and emotionally. With each blow that fell on her arms, legs or back, he’d remind her why.

  Jaime had walked out of her life leaving her alone, lost, pregnant and scared. No call, no messages—only a silence that screamed with unanswered questions. Now all she had left of his memory was Bella—her life, the thorn in Paul’s side.

  Everything always came back to Jaime and this town. She’d come full circle. There was a time when life had been free of complications and greed, when love had been passionate and driven. A time when she’d believed in happy endings.

  At a bush dance much like the one planned for tonight, she’d been destined to meet two very powerful, yet very different men. One would break her heart, the other would destroy her soul. Both would change her life forever.

  Chapter 2

  Lieutenant-Colonel Jaime Caruso, formerly of the RAA’s 17th Air Land Regiment, stood at the bar looking at the small crowd around him. He’d rather parachute naked into an active war zone. Fitting back into civilian life was proving harder than he’d thought.

  Dealing with the open friendliness of small towns differed greatly from the close-knit, high-level security of his desert commando. Learning to communicate at a social level again was challenging. Training himself not to react to sounds like backfiring exhausts, thinking they were gunshots, even harder. Coming back to Williams and trying to fit in again—mission impossible.

  Not that he had a problem with the people. He just hadn’t figured on having to come back to this town that raised bittersweet memories of why he’d left it in the first place, and dealing with the question he didn’t want to face. Have you seen Peta yet?

  Not much had changed since he’d been away. The residents had just grown older. Some had left town for bigger and better things, others had stayed to raise their own children in the same small town family environment they’d grown up in.

  Not exactly the lifestyle he’d had on his agenda. Plans changed—like now. He’d chosen to give up his military career to help his father. Go with the plan to move the mining operations office from Williams to Perth, where Dad could continue to receive the best medical care possible for his cancer. For Jaime to take over the reins of a company he’d never wanted to run, but would because his father’s life depended on it now.

  Jaime thought he’d shaken the dust of this town from his shoes a lifetime ago. Coming back opened doors he’d rather keep shut.

  Peta Johnson is not the girl for you. Maria will be waiting when you’re ready. She’s practically family already. A much better choice of wife. She will stand by you because she knows the ropes. You need to concentrate on running the family business.

  He grimaced at the memory of his father’s words. Running was what he did best. He’d run hard and fast from the prospect of marriage to someone he didn’t love, managing a business he didn’t want, and joined the military instead. The only way he could stop himself from ruining a young girl’s dreams.

  Jaime cracked open the beer he didn’t really want but needed to keep his hands busy, and sipped the cold, yeasty brew. He hadn’t attended the annual Bushman’s Ball for a long time, but when Mark had told him Peta would be opening the show tonight, he hadn’t been able to resist coming to see the girl he’d had to leave behind.

  Anger, regret, too many emotions he’d buried for so long pushed to the surface as he returned waved greetings, shook hands and made small talk with the people of the town he’d grown up in. Jaime sighed as a jolt to his elbow sent his beer spilling onto his shoes. It was just too crowded, damn it, and he felt like an alien in his own home town.

  He allowed himself an amused grin as he surveyed the shire hall. The community had pulled out all the stops as usual. Bluey Mack and Bill Gorey stood on guard at the door—as they had at the annual dances for as long as he could remember—on alert for any nasty surprises like gate crashers. Their sleepy town would be in no danger tonight. As long as the two old blokes stayed away from the pokies in the pub next door.

  Movement near the entrance caught his eye and an excited murmur rippled through the crowd. Jaime’s grip tightened around the beer bottle as he caught sight of Peta’s auburn head close to Mark’s shoulder. The crowd closed in around them. He ignored the misstep of his heartbeat as a smile lit her face, her features becoming animated in conversation.

  Oh God, he remembered that smile well. And the life it brought to her eyes. It was that smile that had won his heart back then, the one that still haunted his thoughts today. The one he’d missed so terribly since he’d closed the door on her one last time.

  They moved across the hall. People milled about her, dealing out hugs and welcome homes, holding out autograph books, posters and CD covers for signing. He smiled. She deserved the success. She’d earned the happiness he’d never been able to give her. But, Jesus, it hurt to know that she’d found that happiness with someone else.

  No point living in the past. He tore his gaze from her and looked around. The ladies of the Country Women’s Association manned their refreshment stalls and finished off last minute decorations. A group of farmers gathered in a corner near the door, discussing crops, rain and the increasing impact of the growth of the mine on farming.

  Pastor McLean’s wife stepped forward and blocked Peta’s progress in his direction. Within earshot. Only a few steps away. Irritation trickled up Jaime’s spine to mingle with relief. He’d thought he was ready to face her. Perhaps not.

  ‘Hello, Peta. It’s been years since we saw you last. This is such a lovely surprise. Thank you so much for agreeing to sing for us tonight.’ Mrs McLean pulled her into a hug. ‘We’re all so excited to have you home. Come along, dear. We’ll get you something to drink.’

  Releasing his hold on her, Mark let Mrs McLean lead Peta away to the refreshments table where she was surrounded by CWA ladies, then stepped forward to stand next to Jaime and scan the crowd.

  Jaime frowned. He understood his long time friend’s protectiveness of his famous sister, but there was a tension to his shoulders and a watchfulness in his eyes that said DSS Mark Johnson was on duty.

  ‘Expecting trouble?’ Jaime shook his friend’s outstretched hand firmly.

  ‘What makes you think that?’ Mark stood next to him and cast a slow, deceptively idle look around the room.

  ‘You’re assessing. You’ve honed in on a few unfamiliar faces then dismissed them. And it’s not every day one of Perth’s finest plays bodyguard to a nightclub diva whether she’s family or not.’

  ‘Retired nightclub diva.’ Mark’s smile was more of a grimace. ‘As observant as always, I see.’

  ‘Call it a trained eye. Your edge gets edgier every time I see you. Is there something I need to know about tonight?’

  Mark shrugged, another deceptively easy move and a dead giveaway that something had him on high alert because his poker face was firmly in place. ‘Nope.’

  ‘Right.’ Jaime drawled the word as he picked at the label on his beer bottle. ‘If you say so. How’s she doing?’

  ‘Not so good.’

  Jaime shook his head. He’d wanted her to be happy even though the thought made him miserable. But he’d done what he’d had to do. ‘Anything I need to know about?’

  ‘Not right now.’

  He pushed back the disappointment that crept into his soul. Of course she wouldn’t need him anymore. She’d got on with her life, made it a success, perhaps even forgotten about what they’d once shared. And he only had himself to blame for that. He’d been the one to walk away. ‘Okay, I get the picture.’

  Mark sighed. ‘I’m afraid you don’t. There are things I can’t explain right now. Things happening that I wish weren’t.’ He waved at Peta as town mayor, Allan Brookefield, escorted her on stage.

  She waved back and for a split second Jaime saw her gaze rest on h
im before she turned away. Disappointment churned in his gut. He deserved to be ignored. He deserved every bit of rejection she threw his way.

  ‘Fair enough.’

  He didn’t want to be here, however much he’d enjoyed the catch up with the townsfolk. It had been a long time since he’d ventured back to Williams and even longer before he would again. Perth would be his home now. At least there nothing reminded him of Peta. Here every street corner, the shade of the trees down by the river, the coffee shop on Main Street—all of it brought back memories of the girl he’d let go while he still loved her.

  Allan Brookefield stepped up to the mike to deliver his welcome speech. ‘And we’re very honoured to have a special guest with us tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back to Williams the lovely Peta Johnson!’

  The lights dimmed and the spotlight centred on Peta as she launched into an energetic performance of popular country songs before slowing the pace. He heard the tension in her voice, saw the sadness that filled her eyes and noted the way her shoulders rounded under the weight of her emotions. And damned if he didn’t feel every ounce of her pain echoing through him.

  ‘Here’s one I wrote myself. You might recognise it,’ she said.

  Her voice floated over Jaime as she sang. Drawing him in, entangling him in the same passion that had the audience riveted to their seats. The dancers on the floor stood still. The magic of her voice flowed through the hall, engulfing it in the emotions she created as she sang the song that had rocketed her to fame.

  As the song drew to an end, Mark stood quietly at Jaime’s elbow. ‘She needs you, Jaime. Now more than ever.’

  He looked at Mark. ‘I don’t need to know why. It won’t make any difference. It’s too late. We had no chance then and even less of a chance now. I have nothing she wants.’ It hurt to say the words aloud, ripped through his gut like a fishing knife, but it was no less than the truth.

  Mark leaned closer. ‘I can’t tell you everything, but she’s been through a rough time before and after the divorce from Paul. She could use a friend.’

  ‘That’s the one thing we can never be again, even if she wanted it.’ Jaime closed his eyes and sighed. ‘It really doesn’t matter anymore, Mark. Her divorce doesn’t make a difference to what could have been.’ Even if the knowledge made his heart beat a little faster. ‘I can’t change the past.’

  Mark shook his head. ‘That’s where you’re wrong. It’s only dead and buried in your books. But that’s for you to decide. She’s staying at the Williams Hotel, Suite 201,’ he said, turning to walk away. ‘And I’m only letting you have that information because I trust you not to share it.’

  Taking a deep, steadying breath, Jaime turned back towards the girl on the stage. She wore the same little black dress she’d worn when he’d met her years before. It fit a little more snugly now that her slender curves had matured. Her chestnut hair shone under the lights as she slowed the pace again. He remembered the glittering green eyes which had once seared his soul, the dusting of freckles on the pert nose he used to kiss, and the smooth, almost translucent skin on the cheeks he used to touch.

  Slowly he moved forward to get a closer look at the woman who had filled his dreams and thoughts constantly for as long as he could remember. He’d put it down to guilty conscience that she’d haunted him for so long because he didn’t dare consider the other option.

  She sang with her soul. The song was meant for someone special. Her ex-husband perhaps, he thought with all too familiar feelings of jealousy. From this close he could see the dampness at the corners of her beautiful green eyes as she sang, pouring her heart into the performance. It was this ability to engage emotion that had kept her steady in the Top Ten on the music charts. He could understand why recording studios worldwide had fallen over themselves to sign her up, why they were devastated when she’d announced she was retiring from the music scene.

  Dear God, he’d never thought it possible she could be more beautiful than he remembered, but she was. Tightness gripped his heart, squeezing painfully. He swallowed around the lump in his throat.

  As he stood at the base of the stage staring up at her, she looked down. Their eyes met and held. He heard her voice falter before she tore her eyes from his and moved away across the stage. Jaime felt his heart plummet from his chest down into his stomach. He didn’t want to feel this way. He shouldn’t love her after all this time. His lips tightened as he took one last look at her and strode from the hall.

  ***

  Peta stared down at Jaime’s departing back, her heart pounding. Even though Mark had warned her he’d be there, it hadn’t softened the blow. And it made singing the song she’d written for him so much more personal with him standing there, still as darkly gorgeous as ever.

  Pain, deep and sharp, seized her heart and her voice faltered, the words of the song blurring in her mind. Desperately she tried to regain her concentration and banish him from her thoughts. She couldn’t let herself be caught up in the magic he weaved again, no way she could think about second chances. No room for love when his daughter was in danger.

  Mark was right. Jaime deserved to know about Bella. But what if knowing led to her daughter being taken from her again? It was her fault for staying with an abusive Paul for as long as she had, for letting him take Bella so easily. With her past and the reputation Paul had brought to The Golden Diva nightclub, it wouldn’t be hard for the Carusos to prove her an unfit mother.

  Waves of dizziness threatened her concentration, played havoc with her pitch. It was a mistake to come back to this town. She’d avoided the place for so long, dreading this moment, anticipating this reaction. She hated Paul for forcing her to come back here, for dragging her daughter into the middle of his messed up life. More than all that, she hated herself for letting it happen.

  As Jaime slammed through the rear door of the hall, she felt her heart shatter again, the same way it had all those years ago. Part of her wanted to run after him, but she knew she wouldn’t. She didn’t deserve answers.

  As quickly as she could, she finished her rendition and thanked the audience, leaving them shouting for more. Her mind reeled as she left the stage and felt Mark’s hand at her elbow, saw the grim set of his mouth.

  ‘I’ll take you back to your room.’

  ‘Bugger off. You’ve done enough.’ The words hitched in her throat, anger vying for attention with gut-wrenching pain.

  ‘I’m not letting you walk back to the hotel alone, so don’t even think of doing a runner on me.’

  Peta pulled out of his hold. ‘I’m angry, not stupid.’

  Her voice rose an octave, drawing the attention of onlookers. There’d be whispers, well-meaning ones, of the moment Peta Johnson came face to face with her past before he walked out the door again. She reigned in her temper and turned to walk as quickly as she could through the crowd without ignoring the friendly outstretched hands and pats on the shoulder.

  Behind her, Mark kept silent but close. She allowed him to follow only because beyond the doors of the hall, danger might lurk only steps away.

  Chapter 3

  Jaime sat on the riverbank, his back to the tree and his legs stretched out in front of him, tossing pebbles into the water. The place that had once brought him peace had him on edge tonight.

  This spot he and Peta had once shared now only held memories that filled him with regret. The water flowing over the river stones no longer soothed his irritability as it had in the past—at least not tonight.

  Damn Mark for his meddling. Peta was back and the mere sight of her had his head spinning. He’d thought he’d managed to securely package her away in that place in his heart he never wanted to explore again, because it made him realise how much he’d lost. What he’d thrown away.

  He rubbed a hand across his chin, feeling the roughness of a day’s growth. She’d been so young then, and innocent—too innocent not to be burned by the fire that had raged so strongly between them. Too young to be so consumed by pass
ion. Heat that even years after he’d been with her, still made him want to take her in his arms and kiss away the wrongs, the doubts, the fears.

  Her adult life had only just begun the night they’d first made love out on a blanket under this tree with the stars bright above them. She hadn’t known anyone but him, hadn’t explored her choices beyond the boundaries of the town she’d grown up in. Peta was made for babies, white picket fences and promises of happy-ever-afters. Just not with him. He hadn’t been anywhere near ready for long term commitment. Here he was, still trying to outrun it.

  Tossing the last pebble, Jaime stood, dusted off his pants, and walked back to his car. He had to see her—just once more. Talk to her; explain why he’d done what he did. Maybe then there’d be closure.

  Closure? Who was he kidding? Standing there looking up at her on stage tonight; the attraction, the spark between them was still there. No way he’d mistaken it.

  Jaime pressed the button on his key remote and listened to the whirr of the mechanism unlocking the doors, loud in the silence. He raised his head slowly. Too quiet. Unnaturally so. Not even the usual singing of the frogs in the air. Unease trickled down his spine, the sense of being watched raising the hairs on his neck. He knew that feeling too well. It stank of ambush. He turned, peered into the shadows along the riverbank. Nothing.

  This was Williams for God’s sake. What had he expected? The most dangerous thing in town was Bill Gorey’s toothless old dog who had arthritis and seldom moved from his sunny spot on the verandah. Still the uncomfortable itch between his shoulder blades grew. Perhaps it was Mark’s edginess rubbing off on him.

  He pulled open the driver’s door, leaned on it to scan the bushland that hugged the riverbank and the gumtrees beyond it. Empty. Disquiet curled in his stomach. Something was definitely off. An eerie silence lurked across the water, the trees whisper quiet in the still of the night. And then he heard the thud of shoes softened by the grass, felt the presence, but had no time to turn around and face it before a sharp searing pain bit into his skull, hard enough to blur his vision. Something blunt. The butt of a gun?