The Finding

by Nicky Charles

  She raised her brows, a teasing note creeping into her voice. “Then why do you usually leave it for me?”

  Pleased that she was getting into the spirit of the evening, he adopted a superior tone. “Practise, my dear. Practise. I’m way ahead of you in experience when it comes to cleaning, so that’s why I usually leave it for you. I want you to get caught up to me.”

  “Kellen, I think after almost three years of cleaning up after you, my experience is on a par with yours.”

  “Well, technically the first year we were together doesn’t count, since I had to show you how to do most of the stuff.”

  Sandy rolled her eyes at him and stepped further into the room. “Mmm... What’s that I smell?”

  “Chicken stir-fry. It’s in the oven keeping warm. You go change and I’ll put the food on the table.”

  “All right.” She hesitated and then leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks for the surprise.”

  He shrugged. “It’s the least I could do after messing up last night.”

  “Yeah...” Sandy grew silent for a moment, almost pensive, but then smiled again, though it wasn’t as bright as before. “We’ll talk about it later. Right now, I’m starving. I’ll change my clothes and be right out.”

  Kellen watched as she walked down the hall towards the bedrooms. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. All in all that had gone well, he thought. For a few minutes they’d even been joking back and forth like they used to do. God, but he missed that. They used to have so much fun. Now...well... He lowered his eyes to the floor and sighed. Like Sandy said, they could always talk about it later. Right now things were good between them again and he didn’t want to spoil the mood.

  *****

  Sandy stood in front of her bedroom mirror, combing her hair before pulling it back into a ponytail. She could hear Kellen working in the kitchen. It was obvious what he was up to; trying to ease back into her good graces after totally screwing up last night. She should be angry with him, especially after what Mr. Bartlett had told her.

  But then, he’d called her ‘girly’—a silly word he’d used when they first met. It was his term of endearment for her and it always found a soft spot in her heart. And he’d even cleaned the toilet! She gave an amused sigh and shook her head, thinking of how much fun it had been to joke with him a few minutes ago. They didn’t do that often enough anymore. Perhaps now wasn’t the time to mention what she’d learned at work. The matter could wait an hour until dinner was over. Ruining the mood right now wouldn’t serve any purpose other than to waste a perfectly good meal.

  “Sandy? Are you almost ready? Food’s on the table!” Kellen’s voice drifted down the hall.

  “Just a minute! Don’t start without me!” She called back while setting down the comb and hurriedly pulled on a clean top and sweat pants before making her way to the kitchen.

  Kellen really was a nice guy. Generous to a fault, funny, always looking for the positive. He was even willing to admit when he made a mistake...eventually. Sometimes his conscience was a bit slow, but he usually came around, just like tonight; making amends by cleaning and cooking.

  Yep, they’d have a nice normal evening together and then they’d talk

  By the time dinner was over, a faint hope stirred in her again. Everything was going so well. The creature inside her had been silent for a change; the restlessness blessedly absent. Perhaps, this was all that was needed; for her and Kellen to spend more time together like a real couple. She hummed happily to herself as she carried two cups of coffee into the living room and set them on the table in front of the sofa. Kellen was sprawled out and taking up most of the seating area. “Dinner was delicious.”

  “But of course. I am a chef extraordinaire.” Kellen grinned at her while flourishing his hand. He shifted slightly as she prodded him with her foot, giving a mock groan of annoyance. Once there was room, she sat beside him. As was his habit, he draped his arm casually across the back of the sofa and began to absentmindedly stroke her pony tail, tugging at the strands, and sliding them through his fingers. It was a comforting gesture that lulled her into a half trance-like state.

  “I’ve put one of your chick-flicks in for you, girly.” He commented as he worked the remote with his other hand.

  She smiled at the term ‘girly.’ It wrapped around her like a soft blanket and made her feel warm and comfortable. “Good. And remember, no rude comments allowed.” Cassie cast a fierce look of warning his way before picking up her coffee.

  “I promise to behave.” He followed the statement up with a Scouts’ honour sign. Cassie narrowed her eyes, knowing full well he’d never been a Scout—it was one of the few tidbits of information she knew concerning his past. Kellen wasn’t one to share much about his background and that suited her fine. She wasn’t keen on sharing her past either. There had been some type of falling out with his family, she knew that much and she’d told him her mother was dead and her uncle murdered. It was enough. The past was just that, the past.

  For awhile they watched the movie in companionable silence. Cassie relaxed thinking how nice it was to spend time together again, like a real pack...er...family.

  “Here comes the mushy stuff.” Kellen whispered teasingly in her ear and she hit him lightly across the stomach. He clenched his belly as if in pain and doubled over only stopping when she rolled her eyes at him.

  “Remember, you promised to behave.”

  He sobered and sat back to watch again, his arms crossed casually behind his head.

  On the screen, the female lead was studying her secret love interest, enumerating all his good qualities to a friend. Cassie glanced at Kellen out of the corner of her eye, trying to see him as the actress on the screen might. Kellen was good looking, no doubt about that. His brown hair was stylishly long and fell appealing over his brow. Laughter sparkled in his blue eyes and often curved his mouth into a mischievous grin. Good shoulders, a few muscles, trim waist...

  Biting her lip, she sighed and Kellen murmured softly, pulling her closer so his chin rested on top of her head. She inhaled his familiar scent, felt the warmth of his body creeping into hers, and waited expectantly for some sign, some stirring of excitement within her...

  Of course, it didn’t happen. Nothing ever happened. The only thing to occur was a low rumble of discontent from the beast inside her. No. He isn’t for us.

  Cassie curled her fingers into fists, frustrated at the trap she found herself in. The beast inside was anxious and needy, pushing her to find something or someone, but it wouldn’t consider the human she was living with. She’d learned that lesson two years ago...

  The first time she and Kellen had been...intimate...was about a year after they first met. In all the months they’d been together, Kellen had never pressured her for sex. That he was interested, there was no doubt, but he’d never pushed her.

  “You can stay with me as long as you need to,” he’d offered generously that first day.

  She’d entered his small apartment warily, not sure if he really was just a nice guy or if he had an ulterior motive. Her uncle might have kept her sheltered, but she’d read enough to know what could happen to young girls who were alone on the street.

  “I won’t sleep with you.” She made the statement boldly, throwing it out like a gauntlet and then watching his reaction carefully.

  “Sometimes, it’s polite to wait to be asked.” He’d responded mildly and she felt her face flush in embarrassment. Kellen has studied her for a moment then put her out of her misery. “Listen, you’re a pretty girl and maybe I will sleep with you one day, but not tonight, not until you’re ready.”

  When she’d folded her arms and given him a disbelieving look, he’d flopped down on the sofa and laughed. “Look, you’re wise to be wary of me. There are a lot of creeps out there, but I’m not one of them. I know what it’s like to find yourself on the street with nowhere to go and I made a promise that I’d never let anyone else go through s
omething like that if I could help it.” He gave her a sheepish grin. “You’re my way of making amends for some of the stuff I’ve done in my life, okay?”

  Eventually she’d realized that Kellen was speaking the truth, and as the months passed he never made any demands on her. Naturally, there had been hugs and brief caresses, even a few kisses, but he never expected more than she was willing to give. It was one of the things that made her love him; the way he’d gently kiss her as if testing the waters and then drawback to study her expression. When there’d been no answering passion in her eyes, he’d smile softly and squeeze her hand or shoulder before moving away.

  He was so patient with her and at times Cassie had despaired of herself wondering why she didn’t respond. She wanted to; she wanted to give him something back after all he’d done for her. That probably explained why, when a sudden rush of need inexplicably developed in her, she hadn’t questioned the abrupt change too deeply.

  It had been near a full moon, a time she always dreaded for fear the wolf inside her would break through the drug induced cage it was in. Her supply of ‘migraine’ pills was almost gone and she was trying to make them last by stretching the interval between each dose.

  Looking back now, and given what she’d learned through her internet research, she knew what had happened—she’d let the medication get too low in her blood stream and her wolf had come to the fore, in full heat—but at the time that possibility hadn’t occurred to her. Waking from a vague, but incredibly erotic dream involving a well-endowed man, she’d been sweating and restless. Tension had coiled low in her belly and an aching need was growing between her legs.

  Unsure as to what was going on, she’d thrown back the covers and crept down the hall, intent on getting a glass of water. Her skin felt as if it was crawling and she’d rubbed her hands up and down her arms, trying to ease the sensation. As she passed by Kellen’s room, a pain had stabbed her belly and she’d gasped, inhaling deeply. That was when it hit her; Kellen’s enticing scent had drifted by tickling her nostrils and sending her senses into overdrive.

  Instinct took over and she found herself in Kellen’s bed, crouched beside him, nuzzling his neck, kissing his jaw, easing the covers off his sleeping body.

  “Kellen?”

  “Wha..?” He’d groggily opened his eyes, raising his hands to her shoulders.

  “Kiss me.”

  “Sandy...?” He’d blinked at her owlishly, obviously confused.

  She’d stopped any further comments with a kiss, for once enjoying the wet slide of his lips against hers. He’d responded briefly, before breaking the embrace and capturing her face in his hands and holding her away even as she struggled to get closer. “Sandy, what’s going on?”

  “I need you, Kellen.” Unable to break from his grasp, she’d run her hands over his chest feeling his muscles twitch in response. Her palms revelled in the feel of the smooth warm skin and her body ached even more, wanting to feel him pressed against her full length.

  “This is awfully sudden. Did you have a bad dream or something?” God bless him, Kellen had done his best to try and figure out her sudden about face, but she hadn’t relented. Need had driven her to straddle him, to grind against him. She recalled how excited she felt to be finally responding to him like he deserved.

  Turning her face in his grasp, she managed to nip then lick his wrist. “I...I just want you, Kellen. I can’t explain it, but I need you, now. Please? I...I hurt.”

  “Sandy...” Her name was a groan on his lips. She wiggled against him, feeling his body responding despite the material separating them. Slowly, he’d loosened his grip on her face, sliding his fingers through her hair and bringing her face closer to his. He’d searched her eyes for an explanation, but then gave in and crushed her to him.

  A cry of relief had escaped her and then it had been all frantic hands and lips, gasps and groans. Clothing disappeared, and somehow their positions became reversed. She’d felt his manhood pressing hot and firm against her thigh. At that moment, a warning had sounded in her brain; something wasn’t right, but she couldn’t focus on the thought. Part of her was craving his possession while another part was protesting that he wasn’t the right one for her.

  Need had won out and she’d spread her legs, guiding him to her aching core. He’d paused, breathing heavily, his forehead pressed to hers.

  “Are you sure?” She could hear the strain in his voice.

  “Yes, yes, please!” She’d arched her hips and felt his tip press into her. Need clawed at her, she couldn’t believe how empty she felt. Kellen could give her relief...

  He resisted a moment longer. “It’s your first time. It’ll hurt. I’ll try to go slow...”

  “I don’t care. Just take me.” Grasping his buttocks she’d pulled him closer, whimpering at the feel of her flesh parting to accommodate him, at the slight burning sensation as her barrier stretched. She didn’t care though. Shifting, she had dug her nails into him, her body craving more.

  Kellen relented then and had driven himself into her. The sudden pain had shocked her into stillness for a moment and a voice howled within her. He isn’t the one! She’d stiffened, part of her rejecting the act, but then he moved inside her and the need returned.

  After that it was a blur of shifting bodies and panting breaths. Kellen whispered nonsensically to her, but she could never recall what he said. A soft wave of feeling swept over her, a slight tightening of her body, though nothing spectacular like she’d heard would occur. At least the intense craving inside her eased.

  Kellen had continued to move within her until he found his release and then collapsed. She’d felt him pull out, then roll to the side and wrap his arms around her, tugging her close to his body. Numbness had come over her then, followed by a slight sick feeling in her stomach. What had she done?

  Tears had welled in her eyes and she’d tried to stifle her sobs, but Kellen must have noticed the shuddering of her body. He’d rocked her slightly, making comforting noises.

  “Shh... I’m sorry. Did I hurt you? Was I too rough?” The concern in his voice made her cry all the harder and he’d cursed softly, obviously blaming himself. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...” He’d forced her to look at him and had used his thumb to wipe the tears that spilled down her cheeks.

  She’d managed to shake her head and tried to calm her tears. “No. It’s not your fault. It’s—” Cassie paused, and licked her lips tasting the saltiness of her own tears. She wasn’t sure what to say, not even knowing exactly what was wrong. Just moments before she’d wanted this so desperately and now...

  “Oh...” Kellen was silent for a moment then cleared his throat. “Is it one of those female things? Because it was your first time?” He cleared his throat awkwardly again, his face a study of male confusion.

  Cassie had hidden her face against his chest and nodded even though she didn’t believe it was a emotional response to losing her virginity, but who knows? Maybe it was.

  “Want some popcorn or chips and dip?” Kellen’s voice pierced through her memories, returning her to the present.

  “Umm... I’m fine; still full from dessert.” Cassie gave him a brief smile and returned to staring at the screen as if absorbed by the movie. The memory of that night still haunted her. How could the beast have driven her to...er...mate one minute and then protest what had happened the next? It made no sense, unless the creature had been as surprised by those feelings as she had been. She frowned, wishing, not for the first time, she'd been spared the burden of having an animal inside her.

  “Oh... Well, I’ll make some for myself and if you change your mind...”

  She made a noncommittal noise and he stood, heading towards the kitchen. The absence of his warm body made her feel chilled and she picked up a throw pillow, hugging it to her chest.

  “Do you want something to drink?” He spoke behind her and she jumped in surprise, a growl escaping her lips. She coughed to cover it up.

  “Don’t creep up
on me like that,” she snapped, feeling the beast inside her becoming alert as if danger were nearby. “You know I hate to be startled.”

  “Hey, it’s not my fault if you get so wrapped up in a movie that you don’t notice what’s going on around you.” He playfully tapped her on the head. “I’ll bring you a cola, okay?”

  “Sure. Thanks.” Cassie closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to calm the creature within. What would happen if she ever felt really threatened? Would she change into a wolf and attack? She squeezed the pillow tighter and prayed she’d never find out.

  Chapter 5

  Cassie awoke the next morning, once again filled with an all too familiar feeling of discontent. Her sleep had been punctuated with strange dreams where she’d kept trying to talk to Kellen about his gambling, but when she’d reached out to touch him, he’d morphed into some other man. A man who took her to bed and brought her to unbelievable heights of ecstasy, no less! She squirmed at the memory wondering why her subconscious kept conjuring up this fellow.

  It certainly wasn’t some version of Kellen. Their first time having sex had been their last. She recalled ‘the morning after’ clearly. Getting up early, she’d scrubbed her skin in the shower, trying to remove the memory of what had happened. Then realizing the phase of the moon, she’d grabbed her pills and locked herself in her room afraid of what she might do next. Kellen had been concerned, knocking on her door, asking to talk to her, but when she’d mumbled migraine; he’d left her alone truly believing she was ill.

  Days later, as gently as she could, she’d explained their night together had been a mistake. Kellen tried to talk her out of it, claiming he’d been too rough and had scared her. She’d even gone so far as to let him kiss and caress her, a part of her hoping he was right, that they could have a normal relationship together.

  Of course it hadn’t worked. His touch didn’t excite her, his kisses didn’t arouse. In fact, the harder he tried, the stiffer she became as she fought to suppress the snarling protests of the fickle creature inside her. Eventually, he’d agreed it wasn’t working between them, but she could tell he was hurt. And how could she blame him? She’d come on to him one minute and rejected him the next. Feeling guilty she’d offered to leave, but he wouldn’t hear of it.