The Paramedic's Unexpected Hero

by Alison Roberts

  Kelly smiled. ‘You must have been the best foster mother. You see the good in everyone, don’t you?’

  ‘I try, lovey. Yes, milk and two sugars for me, thanks.’ She accepted the cup with a sigh, took an appreciative sip and then caught Kelly’s gaze. ‘We’ve all got things that can hide the best of us, haven’t we?’

  ‘That’s true.’ Kelly knew she’d been hiding for a long time. Being here, in this house, knowing that Ari would also be here very soon, felt like she was stepping out of that hiding place and it could have scary, except that she was with an extraordinary old lady who had the ability to make you feel safe.

  Like Ari did...

  ‘Sometimes those things are a bit hard to get past,’ Peggy added quietly. ‘And the hardest thing of all to rebuild, after it’s broken, is trust.’

  Kelly swallowed hard. How could Peggy know this much about her? What had Ari said?

  ‘I think I told you that Ari came to me when he was just a little lad?’

  Kelly nodded. ‘About six or seven?’

  ‘Mmm... His mother had taken him out to a children’s playground somewhere. Hyde Park, maybe? Anyway, it was supposed to be a special outing—a treat for his birthday. She must have waited until he was too busy playing to notice and she just walked away. Abandoned him. He didn’t speak for weeks. Took a year to see him smile.’

  Kelly’s heart was breaking for that little boy. For a trust between a mother and child that should be unbreakable to have been shattered in such a brutal way. She remembered something else that Peggy had told her, too. That the first time she’d seen him smile had been when he’d been holding a baby and had managed to stop it crying. When he’d been protecting someone even more vulnerable than himself.

  She had to blink hard now. That said so much about the kind of person Ari was, didn’t it? It was no wonder she felt safe around him. No wonder Stacey wanted to look out for him. As she blinked away the threat of tears, Kelly found herself focusing on the blanket she was sitting on. Trying to centre herself in the present. Trying not to duck back into that hiding place because she was feeling exposed and potentially too vulnerable.

  ‘I love this,’ she told Peggy. ‘It’s the sort of blanket that even looks like a cuddle.’

  ‘I’ve made a few of them in my time, I can tell you. Too many. I give them away now, although I’ve started a new one for Stacey so she can wrap herself up when she’s feeding the baby in the night. If she decides to keep it, that is.’ Peggy closed her eyes for a heartbeat, as if she was in pain, but she was smiling brightly again as soon she opened her eyes. ‘I meant the baby,’ she whispered. ‘It’s not hard to keep a blanket, is it?’

  Kelly smiled back, taking the hint that the atmosphere needed lightening. ‘I’ve always wanted to learn to knit,’ she admitted. ‘I’d love to make something like this.’

  ‘It’s the perfect way to learn, making granny squares. Do you know they’re actually called Peggy squares, too? After the little girl who started making them in the Depression. And, there’s no time like the present, I always say.’ Peggy put down her tea cup and reached into a cavernous bag beside her end of the couch. ‘I’ve got some needles and wool right here. Look, I’ll cast on for you and you’ll be knitting by the time dinner’s ready.’

  * * *

  It always felt like home letting himself in through that red front door but it was even more of a comfort this evening.

  Maybe it was because Ari was starving, having missed lunch and then been caught late at the hospital when he was more than ready for his dinner. The enticing smell of a roasting chicken was the first thing he was aware of as he stepped back into his childhood home. The second thing, almost simultaneously noticed, was a peal of laughter. A laugh he’d never heard before but he knew instantly that it was Kelly who was laughing and knowing that she was enjoying herself even if the evening hadn’t started off quite as planned gave Ari a ripple of pleasure. Or maybe it was the sound of that laughter that was giving him that sensation. And maybe that ripple wasn’t simply pleasure because it came along with a knot in his gut that felt very different from something as shallow as mere enjoyment. But it didn’t feel quite like attraction either. It actually felt like a knot. Complicated and hard to unravel.

  He passed Stacey’s room on his way to the kitchen and paused when he saw her lying on her bed through the open door.

  ‘Not hungry, Stace?’

  ‘Nah...’

  ‘You want to come and keep us company, anyway?’

  ‘What, you and your girlfriend? No, thanks.’

  Ari took a step further into her room. ‘She’s not my girlfriend.’

  That knot tightened another notch so that it was almost painful and, at the same time, his stomach rumbled. Perhaps it wasn’t being caused by anything emotional at all and it was nothing more than hunger, which could be easily fixed.

  ‘She’s just a friend.’ He added, as further reassurance to a young girl who seemed to be looking for reasons why she wasn’t wanted, ‘As if I’ve got time for a girlfriend when I’ve got you and Mum to look after at the moment.’

  There was a beat of silence broken by the sound of a frustrated groan from the direction of the kitchen, followed by a murmur from Peggy and then more laughter.

  ‘She’s trying to learn how to knit,’ Stacey told Ari. ‘And you know what?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘She sucks.’

  ‘Hey...’ Ari put on a stern face. ‘We all suck when we try something for the first time. What counts is sucking that up so that you can get to be good at it.’ He turned away. ‘You might not be hungry but, man, I could eat a horse and whatever Mum’s cooking smells amazing.’

  He could hear the sound of Stacey’s boots hitting the floor behind him as he left the room.

  ‘Maybe I am a bit hungry, after all,’ she said.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  ‘ARE YOU SURE you’ve got time for this?’

  ‘Absolutely.’ Kelly opened the back doors of the ambulance that was parked in a reserved slot at the edge of the bay outside Kensington’s emergency department. ‘Unless there’s a call for the flying squad, in which case I’ll be in exactly the right place, won’t I? Jump in,’ she invited. ‘If you’re sure you’ve got the time?’

  ‘I’m back early from house calls.’ Ari climbed into the ambulance. ‘I’ve got at least half an hour before my outpatient clinic starts. Unless I get a call myself, of course. Babies have a mind of their own sometimes.’

  ‘Don’t they just? Pull those doors shut so we can keep the rain out.’ Kelly could feel goosebumps where the tunic of her scrub suit left her arms bare. Was it just the chilly weather or did it have something to do with being shut in a confined space with Ari Lawson? It certainly seemed to accentuate his size and that sheer masculinity.

  Kelly cleared her throat, hurriedly searching for something else to focus on. ‘So...here we are. This is our squad truck. It’s set up a bit differently from a normal ambulance. We’ve got the two incubators, in case we dealing with twins, and the seating for the two crew members. If we’re transporting the mother as well, she sits up front with the driver or, if it’s an obstetric emergency we’re usually backing up a normal ambulance crew so they’ve got the stretcher. Our third crew sits up front, too, if we’ve got someone on an orientation shift. Has someone contacted you or have you put your name down for one yet?’

  ‘Not yet. Peggy’s waitlisted in case there’s a gap due to a cancelation so she might not get much notice for her surgery. Could be any day. I’ll put my name down as soon as we know what’s happening.’ Ari was looking around at all the monitoring equipment and the built-in storage for a wealth of supplies. ‘You look set up to deal with major interventions here.’

  ‘We have two main kinds of scenarios. One is to cut out-of-hospital time for a sick baby as much as possible so we do low-level interventions
like a peripheral IV, nasogastric tube, oxygen and then we hit the road. What we like to call a “swoop and scoop” job.’

  Ari was listening intently, his gaze fixed on Kelly. It was easier to hold that eye contact when she was talking about something professional like this but it didn’t stop that frisson of something that was certainly not at all professional which eye contact with this man always seemed to generate.

  ‘And the other main scenario? Is that a “stay and play”, like we had with Vicky?’

  The reminder of how they’d met and her first impressions of Ari made Kelly realise how much their friendship had developed since then. There was a familiarity about his company now and after that visit to his home and getting a glimpse into what was important in his life, it seemed like Kelly was further along a path to them becoming so much closer and that was tantalising. Scary but compelling at the same time. Even listening to his voice was delicious because it was as deep and dark as his eyes and it had just a hint of a gravelly edge to it. Everything about Ari was classically masculine. Apart from his job, that was. And the way he wore his hair. Maybe that was all part of the attraction—the things that made him stand out as being so different...

  ‘Pretty much.’ Amazing how thoughts—and feelings—could flash by so fast nobody else would ever guess what you might be thinking. Ari hadn’t even noticed any hesitation in Kelly’s response. ‘That’s where we stabilise the baby as much as possible before leaving the referring hospital or scene and that might involve intubation, arterial or central venous cannulation or sometimes it might be something like artificial surfactant administration for extreme respiratory failure or a chest drain to deal with a pneumothorax. Depends what expertise we have on board. They’re not cut-and-dried boundaries either. Often it ends up being a combination, although it’s preferable not to have to stop to initiate anything major, like intubation or CPR.’

  ‘How do you manage CPR on a baby in an incubator?’

  ‘We get it out. Look, there’s a great feature on this travel incubator with a slide-out mattress.’ Kelly demonstrated how easy it was to get the kind of access they would need to start CPR. ‘Quick as...’

  ‘That’s very cool.’

  Ari moved to help Kelly slide the mattress back into place and, as his hand brushed hers, she felt her breath catch. Skin contact was even more charged than eye contact and had far more effect than the sound of his voice. Was Ari aware of the same sensation—as if one’s skin had suddenly become a whole lot more sensitive? If he was, he was hiding it well. His attention was on the features of this state-of-the-art transport incubator.

  ‘So...those tubing ports are to allow for monitoring leads for the ECG, continuous blood pressure and pulse oximetry without heat or humidity loss,’ Kelly told him. ‘Did I hear that you’ve got a qualification in neonatal resuscitation? The team were really impressed with the postgraduate study you’ve clocked up.’

  Ari nodded. ‘That was an amazing course. I’d done the basics, of course, but there was so much to learn about the physiology, especially with resuscitating premature babies. It’s a delicate balance, isn’t it? The first priority is to get lungs inflated but you have to be so gentle with how much pressure you use and so careful about oxygen administration.’

  ‘Mmm...’ Kelly’s gaze was on Ari’s hands as he spoke. She’d seen him working so she knew how capable and gentle he was with his touch. She could imagine him working on tiny babies that he could probably cup in the palm of his hand, and this time it wasn’t so much of a tingle of attraction that she was aware of. More like a squeeze of something rather more poignant. Like seeing a fireman holding a tiny kitten could spark, or a burly guy stopping to help an old lady across a road. The thought of that little old lady was enough to distract her completely from what was supposed to be a purely professional meeting to show Ari the way the flying squad’s ambulance was set up.

  ‘How’s Peggy?’ she found herself asking. ‘I was a bit worried the other night. She didn’t eat much of that lovely dinner she’d cooked, did she? Is she worried about the surgery?’

  ‘Only because she won’t be around to keep an eye on Stacey. She’s worried she might go back to the group she was living with. There’s a boy involved, by the sound of things.’

  ‘The father of the baby?’

  Ari shrugged. ‘Don’t know. Don’t think so but, if it is, she’s not saying. I suspect Peggy’s the only person she really trusts but I get that. Hope you weren’t offended by her attitude.’

  Kelly shook her head and then smiled. ‘She doesn’t like me much, does she?’

  ‘She doesn’t like anyone or anything much right now. Including herself. I’m not too sure of the best way to handle any of this—I’ve been away from home for too long. I haven’t even seen Stace since she was about fourteen.’

  ‘She’s lucky to have Peggy in her corner.’

  ‘Anyone who gets Peggy in their corner is lucky,’ Ari agreed.

  His smile was enough to give Kelly’s heart another huge squeeze. ‘I’ve only just met her,’ she said quietly, ‘but I feel lucky that she’s touched my life as well. She’s an extraordinary woman, isn’t she? Her house...that dinner we had...it felt like, I don’t know...a real family.’

  Ari’s smile widened. ‘Complete with the angsty teenager.’

  ‘I was an only child,’ Kelly told him, ‘and my parents were very absorbed by their academic careers. I never really got that feeling of family and I’ve always felt like there was something missing from my life.’

  ‘You’ll find it,’ Ari told her quietly. ‘You can create your own one day.’

  Kelly shrugged. ‘Maybe.’ She hadn’t found anything like that so far, though. Quite the opposite.

  ‘Biology creates relatives,’ Ari added. ‘It’s love that creates family and it’s never too late to find that.’

  ‘So friends can be family?’ Kelly caught his gaze again, a tiny part of her brain almost counting down to when that frisson would arrive.

  ‘Absolutely.’ The gaze from those dark eyes softened and it felt like a comforting touch.

  And...there it was. Only this time it was strong enough to feel painful. This wasn’t simply attraction, it was desire. Strong enough for the scary element to be noticeably ramped up, given the disaster that had come from the last time she’d given in to feelings like this. Her time with Darryn had been so destructive that she’d run from any hint of interest from—or in—another man.

  But this felt safer.

  Perhaps it was because of Stacey’s dismissive comment the other night about how girlfriends never lasted long enough to be invited home. Or Peggy’s gentle warning about how hard it was for Ari to trust women. Kelly might be attracted but there was no chance at all that she was going to make the first move. She knew what it was like to find it hard to trust. How easy it was to get scared into running back to a safe place—the way she’d been running for years.

  And, if Ari did that, she wouldn’t be able to spend time with him. Even if they could only ever be just friends, it was something she definitely didn’t want to risk losing.

  ‘Let me know when Peggy’s surgery is scheduled, won’t you? I’ll be there as soon as she’s up for visitors.’ Her smile felt slightly wobbly. ‘I want to show her the squares I’ve knitted. It’s taken nearly a whole ball of wool but I’m getting better at it. I might even go and buy some more wool.’

  ‘I remember going to charity shops with Peggy when I was a kid. There’s usually a basket of odd balls of wool in a corner somewhere. She’d let me choose all the brightest colours. She made me a blanket when I left home and I’ve still got it.’

  ‘Bring one of those blankets in, when she’s admitted,’ Kelly suggested. ‘If I was in a hospital bed, it would make me feel better.’

  ‘That’s a great idea.’ But Ari’s face looked sombre. Thoughtful. ‘You’re a nice person, Kelly. S
pecial...’

  Kelly swallowed hard. Look away, she told herself. Don’t make this something it isn’t. But it was Ari who looked away first. Abruptly.

  ‘Is that the time? I’m going to have to run.’

  To the maternity wing’s outpatient department? Or to his safe place?

  Not that it mattered. Kelly might not be running from the awareness of how attracted she was to Ari but she still needed those boundaries as much as he did. And perhaps that was where the real feeling of safety was coming from—knowing that you could step behind that invisible line and the safety it provided was going to be not only understood but respected.

  * * *

  The woman in the charity shop who took Kelly’s money for the balls of wool a day or two later looked almost as old as Peggy. She cast an admiring glance at Kelly’s uniform.

  ‘You work on the ambulance, don’t you?’

  ‘I do. I’ve got a few minutes spare at the moment, though, because I’m on my lunch break—I’m not really skiving off to go shopping.’

  ‘I’m sure you’re not.’

  The balls of wool were being counted as they got put into a paper bag. Kelly had bought a few more than she probably needed but she wanted to replace the one that Peggy had kindly given her, along with that first pair of knitting needles. She wasn’t that far from the old house, in fact, so she might have time to pop in for a quick visit.

  ‘Wonderful job you folk do,’ the woman continued. ‘I needed an ambulance once myself, you know...when I took a funny turn at the supermarket. I—Oh...’

  They were both startled by the loud thump and rattle of someone hitting the plate-glass window of the charity shop behind the woman who was in charge of the till. For a moment, as she saw the look of terror on the elderly woman’s face, Kelly was worried that she might have to deal with another “funny turn”, but her attention swiftly shifted to what was happening on the other side of the window. An unkempt and angry young man had shoved a girl so that her back had slammed into the window. He still had his hands on her shoulders and he looked as though he was about to start shaking her. The glass was fortunately thick enough not to shatter under the impact, but it wasn’t thick enough to totally mute the swearing and insults being thrown at the girl.