Tangle

by Locke, Adriana

  I take another sip of my drink, hoping the taste of the coffee will carry away the taste of Trevor’s last name. It feels heavy on my tongue, bitter against the sweetness I once associated with him.

  Dane leans against the table, a worried look on his face. “I want to apologize to you, Hay.”

  “What for?”

  “Neely and I talked last night, and I shouldn’t have gone after Trevor. I should’ve stayed out of it.”

  “You were just trying to do what you do—protect everyone. This time, it was me.”

  “Yeah. You’re right. I was trying to protect you, but Neely pointed out how disrespectful it was too.”

  I lift the mug to my lips. “How’s that?”

  “It was selling you short.” He sighs and leans back in his chair. “Sometimes I forget you aren’t the little girl who showed up here to take care of Mia. You’re an adult. A capable woman that can take care of herself, and me going after Trevor yesterday insulted that, in a way.”

  Reaching across the table, I lay a hand on top of his. “You didn’t insult me. But thank you for saying all that. It helps.”

  “It’s true.” He takes his hand out from under mine. “I just hate to see you hurt. You’re such a good person.”

  “I hate feeling like crap, too, but if he wants to go, let him go.”

  Dane’s eyes go wide at my words, and quite frankly, mine do too. I didn’t realize I was going to say that, but putting it into the world frees something inside me. I shrug and take another drink.

  “Wow,” Dane says.

  “I know.” I laugh, the pitch filled with a sadness I can’t shake. “But I learned a lot over the last few weeks, so it wasn’t a total loss.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like how to negotiate an agreement. And how the rich live. And what I want my greenhouse to look like someday.” I smile to myself. “Someone once told me that things were only a waste if you don’t learn from them. I learned from this. It’ll come in handy one day.”

  He shakes his head and gets to his feet. “I have no idea what has happened to you, but I like it.” He leans over and pulls me into a hug. “You’re gonna be fine, aren’t you?”

  “I am,” I say, leaning back.

  “That’s good. And what’s even better is not seeing you in bed with chocolate slobber hanging out of your mouth like you did when Joel broke up with you.”

  “Screw Joel,” I scoff. “What was I even thinking?”

  “I asked you that a million times. You said you loved him.”

  My spirits sink as I remember my feelings toward Joel. I thought the sun set on him. He was the epitome of what I wanted in a man—or so I thought. I probably would still be thinking that to some degree if I hadn’t met Trevor.

  With Trevor, it wasn’t just about him. I liked him because of how he made me feel about me too. I felt like I could do anything, be anyone, and that I deserved good things. All things except him.

  “What are you going to do today?” Dane asks, bringing my thoughts back to the present.

  “I’m going to see Claire and get a doughnut. And then going to work. I want to figure out how to build a cold frame for vegetables this winter.” I blow out a breath. “I saw this greenhouse in Nashville that was pretty spectacular and figured I could build a tiny version of it.”

  Dane grins. “Well, if you need help, let me know. Mia and I would love to help you.”

  “You’re the best.”

  “I know.” He tosses a wink my way before heading to the door.

  “Hey, Dane?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you for believing in me. It means a lot.”

  He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to. A smile is launched across the room before he leaves.

  I look at my coffee and then back to the door. Some fresh air might do me some good.

  Then again, so would going back to bed.

  With a yawn, I head to the bedroom.

  Trevor

  The computer glow burns my eyes. It probably doesn’t help that I’ve been sitting here for almost twenty-four hours, trying to lose myself in facts and figures. The only figure I can think about consistently is Haley’s.

  Jake walks in, not bothering to knock. If I had any energy at all, I’d be pissed. I don’t.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Are you still fucking here?”

  “Is that a real question?”

  “No. The real question is, why are you still fucking here?” he asks, sitting in a leather chair across from my desk. One leg props on the other, his socks a stupid red-and-black checker that makes me want to comment on them. But again, I don’t.

  I look at my brother. I don’t want to talk about this with him. Or anyone, for that matter. I just want to talk to Haley, and she won’t fucking answer.

  Not that I blame her. I wouldn’t answer my calls either.

  “So Natalie says you fell in love,” he says.

  “Natalie apparently wants to be fired.”

  He laughs. “Nah, I think she wants your job when we finally commit you.”

  “So, so funny.” I toss a pen on the desk. “Did you come in here for anything besides to rag on me?”

  “No.”

  “Then get out of here.”

  He sighs, lacing his fingers behind his head. “Want to go to dinner?”

  “No,” I say, shoving away from my desk. “I don’t want to go to dinner. I don’t want to leave the office. I don’t want to take a break and steal candy from Natalie’s desk.”

  “Then what do you want to do?”

  I brace myself against the desk. I want to listen to bad jokes and fight over the thermostat and figure out where to take Haley for dinner.

  That’s what I want. The thing I can’t have.

  I hang my head.

  “All right,” Jake says, getting to his feet. “I’ll let you be. I’ll be in my office for a bit if you want to talk.”

  I nod but still don’t look at him. I don’t even look up until he’s gone.

  I lean back in my chair. I can’t keep sitting here, pretending I’ll somehow raise my head and have forgotten about her. But I don’t know what to do.

  My mind goes back to the last time I saw her.

  “It’s you that does that to them. You break them down until they think it’s safe, and then you say you’ve had enough and watch them wallow. I think you get a kick out of that.”

  My heart twists in my chest as I remember her words. I don’t get any pleasure out of hurting her or anyone. As a matter of fact, it might just hurt me worse than it does her. All I’m guilty of is taking her heart.

  Taking her heart . . .

  I did take it. I took it because it was mine. It is mine.

  She’s mine.

  I spring to my feet, my breath coming out in rushed waves.

  I love her. I think. No, I do. I have to. I can barely breathe without her. I can’t imagine not talking to her today or seeing her on Christmas. I can’t imagine not spending her birthday with her next year or not having her at my side at the next party I have to attend.

  I love her. I’m fucking in love with her. That’s what this ridiculousness is.

  Well, hell.

  What do I do now?

  I consider going to find Jake but nix it just as quickly. I almost call Natalie, but that crosses a line I’m not ready to broach. My fingertips stroke the top of my desk as I realize the only other person I have is my dad . . . and Meredith.

  Fuck it. I grab my phone and dial her number.

  “Hello,” she says.

  “Hey, Meredith. It’s Trevor.”

  “Well, hello,” she says. “Is everything all right?”

  “No. I mean, yes. But no.”

  “Okay . . .” She laughs. “I’m not following you. Are you looking for your dad? He’s golfing this afternoon.”

  I shake my head. “No, actually. I called to talk to you. I need some advice.”

  “Is this abou
t Haley? Because if it’s about anything other than love, fashion, or flowers, I’m probably not your girl.”

  “It’s about Haley.”

  “Go on . . .”

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  HALEY

  The morning is bright. Too bright. Everything is too bright these days.

  I take my sunglasses off as I walk into the café.

  “Hey,” Claire says. “Look at you, up bright and early again.”

  “I have to work in a few minutes.” I climb onto a stool, then promptly scoot over one to the right. “It’s . . . wet.”

  “Sure.” Claire holds up a finger and disappears into the kitchen. She comes back with a cinnamon roll on a doughnut plate. “Here. I swiped this one for you earlier. The fire department ordered a couple of dozen, so the kitchen made a special batch. They got two dozen minus one.”

  “Thanks, Claire Bear.”

  “Anything for you, Love Pie.”

  I should eat it. Especially considering all the trouble Claire went to in order to get it for me. But my stomach feels full despite not eating much of anything these last couple of days.

  The two empty seats, the ones Trevor and I sat in the day he came in for a doughnut, haunt me. It sucks, but it’ll get easier. Maybe one day I will even be able to look at them fondly.

  That day isn’t today. Today, I can almost hear our laughter. See his smile. Smell his woodsy cologne.

  “Haley?”

  I whip around, even though I know he’s not there, to find him there.

  My body leans his way, my heart stuttering in my chest. So many emotions run through me because he’s not just the balm to my wound—he is the cause of the wound.

  There are bags under his eyes. His usually perfectly styled hair is shoved under a baseball hat. The lines around his mouth are sagging.

  Damn it.

  Tears well up in my eyes as I deny my body the contact it relishes. I spin back around and face the fork on the wall.

  He sits beside me. “There’s enough room for two Jesuses here.”

  I don’t want to smile, but I do. Sort of. “What do you want?”

  “To talk to you.”

  “Hey, Claire,” I say. She looks at me from the kitchen. She’s standing off to the side where Trevor can’t see her. She holds up a knife in one hand and her other hand, palm up. I roll my eyes. “I need my check.”

  “Does that mean we’re going outside to talk?” he asks carefully.

  “That means I’m leaving. You can do whatever you want.”

  “Haley, don’t be like this.”

  I summon every ounce of grace I can find. Digging deep, blocking out the fracture in my chest from crying so hard when I fell asleep last night that I couldn’t breathe, I look at him.

  And wish I hadn’t.

  His eyes are clear, open for me to see the emotions swirling around in them. I blink faster, scooting the unshed tears away from the brink of falling. But I can’t look away.

  He holds my gaze like only he can, pleading with me without any words. It reminds me of what Jen said about couples who make it and how they can communicate in the quiet moments.

  I’ll have to tell her she’s wrong.

  “Your bill is covered,” Claire says, stopping in front of me.

  “By who?”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Her gaze flips cold as she looks at Trevor. “Do you want something more than to torture my best friend?”

  “Claire . . .” His shoulders fall. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t tell me, fuckhead. Tell her.”

  He shrugs. “She doesn’t want to hear it.”

  “I want to hear it less.” She narrows her eyes as she walks away, leaving me alone with him.

  I rise from the stool. “I need to go.”

  “Please, talk to me.”

  “No.”

  I hoist my purse on my shoulder and head to the door. Sunglasses cover my eyes as I step into the light and walk as fast as I can without overtly jogging to my car. I grab the handle, but his hand presses on the top of my car door to keep me from opening it.

  “Go away,” I say.

  “Just hear me out.”

  “I already heard you.” I spin around to face him, knocking his arm off my car in the process. “There was an element of finality in the words you’ve already spoken, Trevor. There’s nothing more to say.”

  “Stop talking.”

  “Fuck off.”

  He starts to grin but wises up just in time. “You’re so mean.”

  “Me?” I let out a little shriek in disbelief and pull open the door. The force makes him step away from the car as I climb in.

  “Does this mean we aren’t friends?” he asks.

  “What do you think?”

  “You aren’t answering my texts or calls or emails, so it’s not looking good.”

  My heart softens. I turn on the engine and shut the door. Staring out the windshield, I wonder if something might be wrong. He’s not evil. He wouldn’t come back to torture me . . . would he? Would he really come back to be just friends with me?

  I told him flat out I was falling in love with him, which is his biggest fear, and yet he’s here. But do I care? I don’t know. I do know I don’t want to do this anymore.

  I roll down my window warily. “Is anything wrong?”

  “A lot of things are wrong.”

  “Let me rephrase that: Is anyone hurt?”

  He narrows his eyes. “Yes.”

  I roll mine. “Let me rephrase that: Is anyone dying?”

  “No.”

  “Good, then. We have nothing to talk about.” I shift the car into reverse.

  “Haley. Stop.”

  “You stop.” My heart hardens again. “I listened to you. I trusted you. I believed in you. And I got treated like Liz.”

  His face goes pale.

  “That’s what you did,” I tell him. “You treated me just like one of those women you told me fawn all over you and won’t let you go and blah blah blah.” I take my foot off the brake. “Guess what? I’m not them. Maybe I was with Joel. Maybe I was kind of pathetic because I didn’t want to be alone. But now I like myself, Trevor. And maybe I have you to partially thank for that. So thank you. And goodbye.”

  “Haley . . .”

  I roll up the window and let the car back out. He stands in front of my car and watches me back away.

  I don’t know how long he stands there.

  I don’t look back, because I’m not doing this anymore.

  My purse hits the counter. “If Trevor Kelly comes in today, I’m throwing him out.” I look at Jennifer as I take my sunglasses off. “I’m not kidding.”

  “Trouble in paradise?”

  “Trouble in something, but it’s not paradise.” I slip off my jacket and fold it. I place it on top of my purse and then slide my things under the counter. “Speaking of paradise, when do you go to Hawaii?”

  She finishes up an arrangement she’s working on before looking up at me. “Next week. We got the finalized itinerary last night from the travel agent.”

  It would be so nice to lie on the beach with some sun and alcohol and no worries or boys.

  “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii,” I say.

  “We went once. On our honeymoon. It was the most amazing time.”

  “The farthest I’ve ever been is Austin, and that’s because my dad had some kind of work thing there. We were there for a week, and it was so hot. That’s about all I remember.”

  She lifts the vase in front of her and inspects it more carefully than she usually does. She sets it in the cooler in the front. When she comes back, her smile has faltered.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  “I have three things I need to talk to you about.”

  The hair on the back of my neck stands up. Maybe I’m just on high alert, but something feels wrong. “What?”

  “First, I have a delivery I need you to make today. Can you do that?”

  “
Sure.”

  She nods. “The next thing is that I got word this morning that the library lost their funding and the doors will close next week.”

  I grip the edge of the counter, my eyes bugging out. “No.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Tears fill my eyes as I think of Sandra and the others. They’ll be crushed. And what happens to children like Nathaniel who count on the library for books?

  This can’t be happening.

  “Oh, my gosh.” I cover my mouth with my hand. “What is wrong with the world?”

  “Many, many things. The older you get, the more you’ll see.”

  My hand slides up to cover more of my face as I think of Sandra. “I bet they’re devastated.”

  “I thought maybe we could make them something today and take it over. When my heart hurts, flowers make me feel better, if only for a little while.”

  “Yes. Absolutely. Let’s use bright colors and keep the arrangements simple so we can make more of them.”

  She pats my hand. “You’re such a sweet soul. You know that?”

  I bite my lip as I remember Trevor calling me mean. “Well, that’s up for debate.”

  She comes around the counter so she’s standing next to me. She leans against the wood, facing me. “I have one more thing.”

  “Okay,” I say, straightening my shirt. “What is it?”

  Her lips dip. “The shop sold this morning.”

  “The shop? What shop?” I gasp. “This one?”

  She nods.

  “You sold Buds and Branches?” I look at her like I misheard her, even though I know I didn’t. I’m just blindsided. “Why?”

  She frowns. “The Realtor Tom had talked to called this morning. A buyer came through. They wanted a price and I tossed them a number and they took it. I’m supposed to meet with a Realtor this afternoon, which is why I can’t take the delivery.”

  I’m torn inside. A part of me is excited for Jennifer. The other is devastated for me.

  “They said to keep operating as normal until the deal goes through. Apparently, they’re buying a couple of shops, so they’re being packaged together or something. I’m not sure. But I’m sorry to have to tell you that after you just started.”

  “You know what?” I say, shaking the negativity out of my brain. “This is amazing for you. Tom will be thrilled, I’m assuming.”