Her Pretend Christmas Date

by Jackie Lau

  Companionship would be nice, and it was just one of those things his parents expected him to do, so he’d do it.

  But not with Julie Tam.

  She was chaos incarnate.

  She liked messy foods, she waved her hands around when she talked, and she watched far too much reality TV. She also had a hat that looked like a koala, complete with little ears. Why?

  And she judged his food choices and thought he was a prick.

  Really, they were complete opposites, and the date hadn’t been at all pleasant, aside from the fact that she was decent-looking and had a nice smile. It had caught him off guard, and he’d somehow managed to frown when she’d introduced herself. That was the only part of his behavior he regretted.

  But he would never choose someone for a long-term relationship based on their appearance. That would be shallow. And foolish.

  Tom Yeung did not do foolish.

  No, people like Julie were better observed from afar or read about in books. She reminded him of visiting his aunt and uncle when he was younger. They’d had triplets, then two more kids. Personally, Tom felt that if he ever had triplets, that would be a big enough family and he’d get a vasectomy, but no, there had been five kids. Their house had always been a circus, and he hadn’t enjoyed going there as a child. It had been exhausting.

  Once, he’d smelled something funny, and when he’d gone to investigate, he’d discovered ten moldy wontons in a vent. One of the kids must have hidden them there.

  Such a waste of good wontons.

  Tom walked briskly toward his condo after leaving Julie at the subway station. He’d bought his place because it was a short walk from all the hospitals on University. Very efficient—he didn’t waste much time commuting.

  It was a cool night, but he didn’t mind. Light snowflakes had been falling when he’d left the restaurant with Julie. The first snow of the year. He vaguely remembered his colleague telling him that if you watched the first snowfall with someone, you were supposed to fall in love. She’d seen it in a K-Drama.

  Pure nonsense, of course.

  Well, he’d go home, make a nice cup of tea, watch a show that wasn’t Too Hot to Handle (dear God) or The Great British Sewing Bee (slightly less frightening), and try to get the rest of the stain out of his shirt.

  * * *

  “How was your weekend?” Mom’s voice boomed over the phone.

  Julie slumped on her couch. It was Monday afternoon and she’d been taking a nap.

  “I had to work on Friday and Saturday evenings,” Julie said. “As you know.”

  “Wah, you should get a job with normal hours.”

  “You know, a lot of doctors don’t have regular hours.”

  Mom huffed. “But you aren’t a doctor. You didn’t even take grade twelve biology or calculus.”

  “Thanks for the reminder. I almost forgot.”

  “Have you talked to Charlotte lately? They did some drilling based on her interpretation of EM data—I do not understand it all, but they made an exciting discovery!”

  “Mm-hmm.” Julie’s sister’s accomplishments were always more impressive to their parents. Charlotte had studied engineering and now worked as a geophysicist. Though rather grumpy, Charlotte was the “good” sister. The one who had the more impressive degree and made more money.

  “And Mike...”

  Julie tuned out as Mom continued to sing the praises of Charlotte’s boyfriend, Mike Guo, who’d lived next door to them when they were kids. Julie had nothing against Mike. He was a friendly guy and seemed to be good to her sister, but it was just so exhausting how her mother would go on and on about him.

  Yep, Charlotte’s life was exactly what their parents wanted, and Julie’s wasn’t.

  “You haven’t had any dates lately, Julie?” Mom said. “You should—”

  “Actually, I had a date last night.”

  “Who is he?”

  “His name is Tom, he’s two years older than me, and he’s a pharmacist. He was born in Hong Kong.” Julie didn’t mention that the date had been a disaster.

  Mom gasped in delight. “He sounds wonderful.”

  Although Julie hated herself for it, it was nice to hear Mom being pleased about something in her life. It was nice to feel like the good sister for once.

  Which was probably why the next words out of her mouth were, “He’s my boyfriend. We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks.”

  She hadn’t planned to say that. It just happened.

  Mom immediately called Dad to the phone, and ten minutes later, when Julie ended the conversation, she was smiling.

  Because her parents were in love with her fake boyfriend.

  God, it was stupid.

  Oh, well. She’d keep up this ruse for a few more weeks, then tell her parents that she’d broken up with Tom and it wasn’t meant to be.

  No big deal, right?

  Chapter 2

  “How was your date at the wine bar on Wednesday?” Mom asked.

  Julie pressed the phone to her ear and curled up in her bed. “Oh, it was excellent.” She tried to sigh happily. “Tom is very knowledgeable about wine, and he knew the pastry chef, so we got free dessert.”

  Mom, naturally, was excited by the word “free.”

  Tom Yeung, boyfriend extraordinaire, had taken on a life of his own. Yes, he was still organized and neat and worked as a pharmacist at a hospital, but he wasn’t a taco-hating killjoy who frowned a lot.

  It was fun to have a pretend boyfriend, and Mom ate it all up, though perhaps it was time for Julie to end her so-called relationship...

  No. She didn’t want to deal with her parents’ disappointment.

  But she’d kept this up for a while. It was mid-December now, more than a month after her only date with Tom. She hadn’t talked to him since, but that didn’t stop her from inventing stories about him.

  “You must ask him to come to Ashton Corners for Christmas,” Mom said.

  “I think he’s spending the holidays with his parents,” Julie said.

  “It doesn’t have to be Christmas Day. It can be Christmas Eve or Boxing Day. Whatever is best for him. But we must meet your new boyfriend. Since he’s so devoted that he made you jook when you were sick and stayed with you for two days, I know he will make time for your family.”

  “Okay, okay, I’ll ask.”

  Unfortunately, Mom did not drop this topic. She called every day, reminding Julie that she very much wanted to meet her new boyfriend.

  That Saturday, Julie was working at Ossington Cider Bar when Charlotte and her friends walked in. They came here somewhat regularly, but it had been a while since their visits had overlapped with Julie’s shifts, and as luck would have it, she was the one serving their table today.

  Charlotte ordered the driest cider on the menu, then said, “Do you know whether your boyfriend will be able to join us for Christmas?”

  “I’m not sure yet.”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  Did Charlotte suspect Julie was lying about Tom?

  God, Christmas really was going to suck this year. Thanksgiving had been bad enough—and that had been in Toronto. Cranky Charlotte would be all cutesy with her boyfriend, and Mom and Dad would keep bugging Julie about her lack of a respectable career and asking why Tom wasn’t there—and maybe they, too, would wonder if he wasn’t real.

  Well, Tom was very much real. He just wasn’t her boyfriend.

  For good reason.

  But if he came to Ashton Corners, it would distract everyone from Julie’s supposed failures in life. They’d be proud of her for catching a wonderful man like Tom.

  Mom and Dad adored Mike, but Tom could speak Cantonese and he was a pharmacist, which likely rated above financial advisor on their ladder of success.

  Ugh. Her parents and their ridiculous ideas of success. Pharmacist might still be below neurosurgeon, but it was pretty high up there.

  What if she asked Tom to come with her?

  She shook her head as she
walked away from Charlotte’s table. That was a silly idea. Besides, surely he had something better to do for Christmas than accompany Julie to Ashton Corners for a few nights. After all, they’d only gone on a single bad date.

  But what if...

  Perhaps she’d ask him, just in case. If he said no—which he likely would—she could honestly tell her mother that she’d asked. Then sometime in January, she’d tell her family that they’d broken up, but she’d rather continue the ruse for a little longer.

  Because Julie was no longer the underachieving daughter, working as a waitress and living with a roommate and single at thirty.

  With Tom, she had a level of respectability in her family that she’d never had before.

  * * *

  Tom Yeung was sitting in his living room, reading the novel that had won last year’s Governor General’s Award for fiction and sipping a cup of jasmine tea. It was his day off, and it had been a good day so far. He’d finished his laundry and his weekly grocery shop. He’d also mopped and dusted, and now he was rewarding himself with a break.

  His phone rang, and to his surprise, Julie’s name flashed on the screen. He’d never intended to talk to her again, but he hadn’t deleted her contact information.

  What did she want? A recommendation for a stain remover pen?

  “Hello?” he said as he set down his book.

  “Hi, Tom! It’s Julie. Do you remember me?”

  “Of course.”

  “You didn’t try your best to put our date out of your mind?”

  “It was the first date I’d had in a long time, so it was hard to forget.”

  “Right. Well, I have a big favor to ask of you. You can say no. I totally understand. But hear me out, okay?”

  He had no idea what to expect. “Okay.”

  “I’ve told my parents that you’re my boyfriend because you’re exactly the sort of guy they’d love for me to date. The lies kind of got out of control, and now they’d like you to come to my hometown with me for Christmas. And I’d like you to come, too, since it would distract them from my many failures.”

  “Your many...failures.”

  “Oh, come on. It’s not like you were impressed by my life, either.”

  “I wouldn’t say that. It’s just not the kind of life I’d enjoy living myself.”

  “Whatever. I’m sure you have plans for Christmas, but—”

  “Where is your hometown?” he asked.

  “A few hours from here. On Lake Huron.”

  “Who will be there?”

  “My parents, my sister, and her boyfriend.”

  “What days would you like me to visit?”

  “December twenty-fourth to twenty-seventh, but that’s flexible. Are you seriously considering it?”

  He knew it was crazy, but yes, he was.

  “I’d arranged to have a few days off at Christmas,” he said, “in exchange for working New Year’s. But my parents are now going out of the country because my uncle is sick.”

  In addition to being worried about his uncle, he was disappointed he’d have to spend Christmas by himself.

  “I’m surprised you care about Christmas,” Julie said.

  “You figured I’d be the Grinch?”

  “No, but holiday spirit doesn’t seem like your thing.”

  The truth was that Tom quite liked Christmas. His parents were Christian, and so they’d always celebrated it, but when he was six, they’d arrived in Canada in early December. He remembered the drive from the airport, snow falling outside the windows. He’d never seen snow before, and it was magical. His parents had fussed all over him, afraid he would catch a cold as he ran up to their new house and grasped piles of snow in his bare hands. They had a yard with snow! They hadn’t had that in Hong Kong.

  A few days later, he’d been in his new school, knowing only a few words of English. There had been a lot to adapt to, but the one thing he’d loved from the beginning was winter, plus all the Christmas stuff at that time of year.

  The idea of a small-town Christmas sounded idyllic to him, even if it meant spending more time with Julie. Meeting her family was a bit frightening, too, but it sounded as if her parents would like him.

  “I’ll go,” he said. “Do you have a car? We can take mine if you don’t.”

  “Really? You want to spend Christmas with a stranger’s family?”

  “You’re not a stranger.”

  “I’m basically a stranger. Who likes mayo and corn on the cob.”

  “I’m sure I’ll manage.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  He sighed. “I don’t want to be alone at Christmas, and this is the best I can do, okay?”

  “I love your enthusiasm.”

  “Thank you.”

  “If we could take your car, that would be great. Would you be able to drive my sister and her boyfriend as well since none of us have a car? We can all meet at your place.”

  He pinched the bridge of his nose. This was already overwhelming.

  “Alright,” he said. “What should I bring for your family?”

  “Just something small for my parents. By the way, they think you’re an expert on wine and friends with a pastry chef.”

  “I’m...what? What else have you invented about me? Please provide me with a list. And I sure hope you didn’t tell them that we watched The Bachelor together.”

  She snorted. “As if I tell my parents about reality TV. They receive an edited version of my life. Fine, I’ll get you a list.”

  Perhaps this was a mistake.

  “Remember,” Julie said, “you’re supposed to act like my boyfriend. Pretend you adore me. Pretend you think my koala hat is cute, rather than an affront to sensible fashion.”

  “I never said that.”

  “I could see it in your eyes.”

  “No, you couldn’t.”

  She sighed. “Look, if we bicker sometimes, that’s okay. My sister and her boyfriend bicker, and nobody believes they aren’t in love. Still, you’re going to have to make a bit of an effort.”

  “Okay,” he said.

  “But at the same time, don’t forget we’re not actually together.”

  “I don’t think that will be a problem.”

  “I doubt it’ll be a problem for me, either, but I thought I’d make that extra clear.”

  Well, that was a slight blow to his ego, but not at all surprising.

  Would this be better than spending Christmas alone? He wasn’t sure.

  However, he’d already agreed to it, and he didn’t break his promises.

  Chapter 3

  “Guess who texted me the other day?” Bridget skipped into Julie’s room and sat down on her bed.

  “I don’t know,” Julie muttered. “Santa Claus?” She threw another sweater in her suitcase. It was supposed to be very cold this weekend.

  “Aw, why are you in a bad mood?”

  “Because I have to spend a whole weekend with my family. And Tom.”

  They’d be driving down to Ashton Corners tomorrow, and now that the holidays were approaching, Julie regretted her plan. What had she been thinking?

  Three nights with her family and Tom Yeung. It sounded hellish.

  But she couldn’t go back on her word now. Her mother would never get over the disappointment, and Tom might also be disappointed since he, to her surprise, liked Christmas.

  “Tom texted me!” Bridget said, a big grin on her face. “He wanted to know what to buy you for Christmas.”

  Oh. Julie should have made it clear he didn’t need to get her anything.

  It wasn’t like she’d gotten him a gift, though she really should have, seeing as he was doing her a favor. But it was too late now.

  “That’s...nice,” she said mildly.

  “I told you I had a good feeling about the two of you,” Bridget said.

  Julie started pulling socks out of her drawer. “Don’t tell me you’re still hoping we’ll get together. We went on a date and it was terrible. End
of story.”

  “And now you’re faking a relationship and inviting him home for Christmas.” Bridget giggled. “It’s perfect. You’re so going to fall in love.”

  “The man wears paisley ties to first dates at taco restaurants, Bridget. Paisley ties.”

  “Yes, he’s deliciously stern.”

  “You have a boyfriend, you know.”

  “Tom doesn’t do anything for me, I promise, but he’s perfect for you.”

  “Why? Because his family’s also from Hong Kong?”

  “Of course that’s not the reason,” Bridget said. “I just have a feeling—”

  Julie rolled her eyes.

  “—that this is going to work out. Like a Hallmark movie.”

  “How many Hallmark movies have you seen with two Asian leads?”

  “None, but you’re charting new territory. Isn’t that great?”

  “Fuck off.”

  “Perhaps you’ll do some fucking this weekend.”

  “I don’t think Tom would do anything as crude as fucking. Especially not in his fake girlfriend’s parents’ house.” Wow, that was a mouthful.

  Bridget waggled her eyebrows. “He might surprise you. And you might be his real girlfriend by that point.”

  “Why are you so invested in this?”

  “Like I said, I just have a feeling.” Bridget hopped up from the bed. “Be sure to bring some sexy flannel pajamas.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”

  * * *

  It was noon on Christmas Eve, and Tom was supposed to be on the road with Julie, Charlotte, and Mike. Instead, he was waiting for Julie in the lobby of his building. She’d said she’d arrive early, but nope, her sister had beaten her here, and this was rather awkward.

  Not that it would be substantially less awkward with Julie, but still.

  “You must be Tom,” said the woman in the blue parka. “I’m Charlotte.”

  “And I’m Mike,” said the man next to her.

  Tom shook their hands and murmured appropriate greetings.

  “Sorry I’m late.” Julie burst through the door to the lobby, behind an older man weighed down by shopping bags. She was wearing that ridiculous koala hat again, as well as a red jacket, and she looked...