Broken Scars

by J. M. Walker

  “No.” I cupped his nape with my free hand, leaning my forehead against his. “Fight for me. Fight, Lucas. You are not giving up.” I lifted my hand, the blood rushing out faster than before. A tremor of fear sliced down my spine.

  “It’s bad, baby,” he rasped. “It’s really fucking bad.”

  I nodded, tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t say anything else. I couldn’t do anything. While Lucas was put on the stretcher, he reached out to me.

  “I’m here,” I sobbed, holding his hand. “You have to go. They’ll fix you. You better come back to me, Lucas. I’m not leaving here without you.”

  “Fucking right,” he bit out through clenched teeth.

  “We have to take him,” a tall man dressed in green scrubs said.

  I nodded, letting go of Lucas.

  “Lily!” he yelled. “Lily!”

  I fell to my knees as the sounds of Lucas yelling my name pierced through me.

  Please God, don’t take him from me. Don’t take him after everything we had been through. I couldn’t lose him. I refused. Not when we were finally making it past all of the shit life had thrown at us. We were strong. He was strong.

  Sobs wracked through my body.

  “Come back to me,” I pleaded. “Please come back to me.”

  Lily

  “LILY?”

  My head popped up at the sound of my name.

  The tall doctor from before smiled down at me. He was young but his dark eyes showed years of dealing with the added stress of the medical field. “Lucas is awake and he’s asking for you.”

  “Oh, thank God.” I jumped to my feet, following the doctor out of the waiting room and down a long hall. “Are you sure he’s not actually demanding it?”

  The doctor chuckled. “You know him well.”

  “Yeah.” My face burned.

  “Let’s first get you cleaned up.” He nodded toward my hands.

  I looked down, finding them coated with Lucas’s blood. “Oh. I forgot about…”

  “It’s okay.” The doctor stopped in front of a bathroom.

  I entered and washed my hands.

  “How’s he doing?” I asked when I finished.

  “He was shot in the side, but the bullet missed vital organs.” The doctor led the way down the hall. “He’s lost a lot of blood and he’ll be here for a few days under observation. But he’ll be fine. He’s very lucky.”

  “Oh good.” A weight lifted off of my shoulders. “That’s really good. But…uh…have you given him any pain meds?”

  The doctor stopped, his brows narrowing. “Yes.”

  “Okay. He just can’t have any more than what you’ve already given him. So, the nurses have to monitor it.” It was an uncomfortable subject, but Lucas had been doing well, I didn’t want him to have a relapse.

  “I understand.” He continued walking with me following beside him. “How many years clean?”

  “Almost eight.” I breathed a sigh of relief that the doctor didn’t judge. Battling any form of addiction was hard on our own. Add judgment from others to it and it made it worse.

  “That’s wonderful. Oh, forgive my manners. I’m Doctor Thompson.” The young man stuck out his hand.

  “Don’t worry about it.” I returned the handshake. “I’m sure my boyfriend is giving you a hell of a time as it is.”

  “He’s keeping the nurses on their toes,” he said, stopping in front of a door.

  “Let me see my girlfriend,” Lucas demanded from inside the room.

  “Doctor Thompson is going to get her,” a woman said.

  “Well he needs to get her faster,” Lucas shouted.

  “Lucas, will you stop trying to pull out your IV. You just woke up. Please just relax.”

  “I guess I should put him out of his misery,” I said, entering the room.

  “See?” The nurse rushed to me and pulled me along with her. “She’s right here. Please tell me you’re his girlfriend,” she muttered.

  “Yes.” My heart stuttered. “I am.”

  “Thank God. I need a smoke.” She rushed out of the room.

  “I’ll give you two a moment.” Doctor Thompson followed the nurse out of the room.

  “Lily.”

  I shivered at the barked command and met Lucas’s gaze.

  “Come here.”

  “Ask me nicely,” I said, although my voice didn’t come out as sure as I would have liked it.

  “Woman, get the fuck in my arms.” He lifted them for added effect. “Now.”

  As much as I wanted to fight him just for fun, I needed to feel him instead, so I did as I was told and ran to him.

  Much to my surprise, he charged out of the bed and captured me.

  “Lucas,” I cried, the beeping of the machines going off. “What are you—”

  “Shut up.” He covered my mouth in a hard kiss, picking me up off my feet.

  All too soon the kiss ended but the beeping did not. “Put me down. You just had surgery. You need to rest.”

  “I need to go home. With you.” He held me against him. You would think that I was the one who just gotten shot with how he was keeping me close.

  “Lucas.” I struggled out of his hold. “Please get back in bed.”

  “Not letting you go, Lily.” He stared down at me. For someone who just had surgery, he looked good. Really good.

  I cleared my throat, pushing him back. “You don’t have to let me go. You just need to get back into bed, so you don’t make these nurses want to retire early.”

  He grunted, sitting on the bed but keeping his hand locked firm with mine. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

  I sighed, kissing him softly on the cheek. “No, you shouldn’t have.”

  Two nurses took that moment to enter. They stopped when their gaze landed on us.

  “What happened?” the one nurse asked, silencing the machines.

  “You ripped out your IV,” the other added.

  “You took too long to bring me my girl.” Lucas shrugged like it was no big deal.

  I rolled my eyes, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him, knowing there was no point in trying to argue.

  The nurses administered the IV again and cleaned up the cut where he ripped the other one out.

  “Now please stay in bed,” the younger of the two nurses said. “Or I will strap you to it.”

  Lucas grunted. “Sorry. The only one strapping me to the bed, is my girl.”

  “Ignore him,” I told the poor nurses. “He’s grumpy when he first wakes up.”

  “I’m Marianne,” the older nurse with graying hair told me. “If you need me to shackle him, I will.”

  I laughed. “I think he’ll be fine.”

  “I am fine,” he grumbled. “Just wanted you.”

  A knowing look passed between the nurses before they quietly left the room.

  “You know, you would get out of here faster if you just cooperated,” I told him, turning my body toward him and keeping his hand in my lap.

  “I hate hospitals,” Lucas muttered. He lifted his hand. “It doesn’t hurt.” He brought my hand up to his mouth. “None of this hurts.”

  “Did they give you too many meds?” I asked, my heart jumping.

  “No. It doesn’t hurt because nothing could hurt as much as when I lost you.”

  My breath hitched. I cupped his face. “You didn’t lose me. We were always together. We were just…apart for a little bit.”

  “It was too fucking long, baby,” he bit out through clenched teeth. “Too long.”

  “I know.” My hand slid to his neck, brushing my thumb back and forth over his scruffy jaw. “You got me. You always got me. I never went anywhere.”

  “I need to go home.” He sighed. “I need you with me. I need…”

  “I need to know what happened today.” I leaned back. “You said you were shot by Mel.”

  “Yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck. He pulled back the blanket and lifted the hospi
tal gown he was wearing.

  My finger brushed over the white bandages on his side. “Have you ever been shot before?”

  “No. Stabbed yes. But definitely not shot. I hardly remember it. I was more focused on Shephard.” He pulled the gown down. “Have you heard anything about him?”

  “He’s still in surgery.”

  My head whipped around, finding two police officers I had never met before, standing just inside the room.

  “Who are you?” Lucas asked.

  “Are you here to ask him questions?” Although Lucas acted fine, he needed to rest.

  “No. We were meeting Shephard for lunch when we got the call. We’re here out of support but we wanted to come by and make sure that you were okay too,” the one officer said. He was older. Maybe mid-forties, with a strong jaw and piercing blue eyes. He ran a hand through his black hair that had silver peppering the sides.

  “How did you know I was here?” Lucas asked him.

  “Shephard told us who he was meeting up with first. He’s paranoid that way.” The officer smiled softly. “But he trusts you. Even though you were a troubled teen when you two became friends, you helped him as well as he helped you. He owes you a debt.”

  “No.” Lucas shook his head. “He just needs to stay alive. That’s all I want.”

  “Can you tell us what happened?” the younger officer asked.

  “We were walking back to Shephard’s car. He was going to drive me here. I didn’t have my car. We walked by an alleyway and Mel approached us. I…” Lucas glanced at me. “I don’t remember anything else.”

  “I’ll let you know that we’re actually looking for her,” the older officer said, a threat hidden beneath his voice. “Well, we’ll let you both be. If we hear anything about Shephard before you do, we’ll be in touch.” The officer handed Lucas his business card. “And please—”

  “I’ll do the same,” Lucas took it.

  “Thank you,” they both said in unison. They quickly left the room after that, leaving me alone with Lucas.

  “There’s something else, isn’t there?” I asked Lucas.

  He released my hand and cupped my inner thigh. “Shephard and I met up for coffee. She showed up. He was nice and let her join us. She was…she accused me of hurting her. I was polite. Because of you. You taught me not to lose my shit, so I kept my cool. Even after everything she’s done, I still heard her out. She left. A half hour later, so did we. When she approached us again, she was losing her shit. She was going on about Killian and how I ruined his life. Anyway, she shot Shephard first because he got in her way and then she shot me.”

  “Do you know where she is?” I couldn’t imagine getting to that breaking point.

  “No, but I hope they find her.” Lucas pinched the bridge of his nose. “She obviously needs help.”

  “You need rest.” I went to move but his hold on me, tightened.

  “I don’t fucking think so,” he snapped.

  “There’s not enough room on this bed for both of us and you need to rest. I’ll be right in this chair.” I slid off the bed, grabbed the chair, and placed it as close to his bed as I could. “See? We can still hold hands.” I linked my fingers in his, placing a kiss on the back of his knuckles.

  “I don’t like this. I don’t like taking one step forward only to take a million fucking back.”

  “I guess it’s how life works.” I shrugged. “I don’t know, Lucas. I’m just happy that you’re alive because it could have been worse. It could have been so much worse.”

  “I know.” He stared at me.

  “What?” I asked, fidgeting under his scrutiny.

  “Marry me.”

  I barked a laugh. “What?”

  “Marry me,” he repeated, his voice firm.

  “You can’t be serious, Lucas. We…I…really?” He had proposed once and that was out of desperation but this…this was something else.

  “I love you, Lily.” He tugged my hand, pulling me back to my feet.

  I sat on the edge of the bed again, facing him. “I love you too, Lucas, but is marriage really the answer?”

  “Why not? I realized today that life is too fucking short. I could have died. There have been many times I should have died but I didn’t. I used to take that for granted. I don’t want to take it for granted anymore.”

  “What are you saying?” I murmured.

  “I’m saying that I want to marry you and live every day to its fullest.” He pulled me closer, cupping my cheek. “Marry me, Lily. Be my wife and make me the happiest fucking man on this planet.”

  My heart swelled.

  “Actually.” He leaned back. “Marry me. Right now. Right here.”

  “What?” My eyes widened. “How?”

  “There’s a chapel here. I’m sure the person working it is ordained. So what do you say?”

  “I…” I searched his face. After everything we had been through and especially today, I realized that I couldn’t live without him. “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

  He grinned, pulling me into his arms, and wrapping himself around me.

  I giggled, placing soft pecks on his mouth. “I can’t believe we’re going to do this.”

  “I need you to be my wife, Lily. I’ve never…fuck, I’ve never felt this way about someone. Or anything for that matter. It’s love but so much more.”

  “I know,” I whispered. “I feel it too.”

  “Yeah?” He pinched my chin, forcing my head back to meet his dark stare.

  “I do, Lucas. I love you to the deepest part of me. It’s past my soul. It’s my being. You are inside me. Everywhere. And this love I feel for you goes beyond that.”

  “Fuck.” A soft growl left him. “I love you.”

  ***

  (Lucas)

  I was desperate for her. To make her my wife. To have her in my home. I wanted her things taking over my apartment. I wasn’t sure if I could have kids, but I wanted to try. With her.

  “How do we do this? Doesn’t it take a little bit to get a marriage license?” Lily asked, leaning against me. Although I should have been in pain, I found that I wasn’t. I wasn’t sure if it was because of all the shit I had been through as a kid or what, but the only pain I felt was not having Lily bouncing on my—

  “Lucas?” She looked up at me. “Did you hear me?”

  I squirmed. “Yup.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” I kissed her head. The nurses and doctor had been good and let Lily stay with me. It was usually family only or spouses, but she was mine and would be my wife. I just needed to figure out who to ask and how to make it happen before I lost my shit even more.

  “Are you sure?” She frowned. “We can wait.”

  “No,” I snapped. “I mean.” I cleared my throat. “I need you. I need this. I need to make you my wife. We can get the marriage license. I’ll pay. I’ll give them all of my fucking money if needed but I need to go home. To our home. I just…” I was losing it. Being holed up in the hospital didn’t help either.

  “Okay.” She stood from the bed and backed away before I could catch her.

  “Lily,” I growled.

  She giggled, leaning over the bed and placing a chaste kiss on my lips. “Let me find our priest, baby.”

  I shivered. I wasn’t a submissive man by any means but one look from her, I would drop to my knees and say, ‘Yes, Mistress. As you please, Mistress.’

  Lily raised an eyebrow.

  “You better get that priest while I talk to the doctor. Find out when I can leave before I fuck you right here and make you beg for them to come save you.”

  “Geeze, Lucas.” She coughed, her cheeks reddening. “Save that promise for later. Oh. Before I forget.” She reached under the blanket and slid her hands beneath the hospital gown. When she came into contact with my cock, I jumped. Her soft hand wrapped around my dick, gave it a couple of pumps and forced a groan right from the back of my throat. “I think it’s going to be you who does the begg
ing, baby.” She released me and sauntered away with a sway in her hips.

  I ran a hand over my head, breathing out a slow breath and palming the raging erection I was now sporting.

  Holy fucking hell.

  Lily

  I NEEDED TO BE his wife. I was wondering at first if I was making the right choice but with the feral look in Lucas’s eyes, I knew it was right. To feel this wanted, needed, owned, had never been something I thought I would need, but I realized that I did need it. And so did he. We were two broken souls who came together at a time when we weren’t even looking for it.

  “Lily?”

  I spun around on my heel. “Grandma.” A nurse was pushing her in a wheelchair. I ran to her. “How are you feeling?”

  “Much better.” She held her arms out.

  I enveloped her in a hug, holding her as tight as I could without hurting her. “That’s good. I’m so glad.”

  “They’re actually letting me go today but I was told that you were here. Is everything okay?”

  “Oh yes. Much better. Lucas was shot but he’s fine.” I fell to her feet, holding her hands.

  “Oh God. I’m glad he’s okay.” She cupped my cheek. “Are you okay?”

  “I am. I really am. Listen, there’s something that I want to talk to you about.” I stood just as Dr. Thompson joined us.

  “Sorry to interrupt but I have news on Shephard. Lucas was asking about him. The surgery went well and he’s resting. You can see him in about an hour.”

  “Oh, thank you. Lucas will be happy to hear that.” My cheeks heated when I remembered what I was doing out in the hall in the first place. “This is going to be an odd question but is there a priest who works at the chapel here?”

  My grandma gasped but I ignored her.

  “There is.” Dr. Thompson narrowed his brows. “Father Metcalf is here quite often.”

  “Do you think I could talk to him?” I wrung my hands in front of me. “Please?”

  “Of course.” A twinkle flashed in his eyes. “You two planning something before Lucas leaves the hospital?”

  “Maybe.” I glanced down at my grandma. “Only if my grandma approves.”

  “Hell fucking yes,” she yelled, fist pumping the air. “I mean.” She cleared her throat, folding her hands in her lap. “I approve.”