BARR: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  We were in complete and total silence.

  Just looking at each other.

  “I’m not going to hide it anymore,” I whispered. “I had to leave, Mel. And I had to hurt you. I had to hurt myself. I had to tell myself it was going to be okay. And it never was. Everything I’ve done here… it doesn’t come close to making me feel the way you do. So whether you like it or not I’m going to chase you down. Whether you’re hiding behind a tree. Or trying to steal some girl’s car, I’m there. And whatever that brings here, I’ll face.”

  “I told you not to love me then,” Mel said. “And I’m telling you not to love me now. It doesn’t work, Barr.”

  “Bullshit it doesn’t,” I said. “It’s always worked. You just can’t admit it.”

  “You want to admit it?” Mel asked.

  “Yeah, love. Tell me the truth.”

  I leaned toward her.

  Mel touched my face. She blinked fast. “It wasn’t BC. Nobody in BC had anything to do with this, Barr. I told you not to save me. I told you not to ask questions. I told you not to do anything. Because you have no idea what’s going on.”

  “Is this your way of telling me you love me too?”

  “No,” Mel said. “It’s my way of telling you my mother’s boyfriend is the one that hurt me.”

  Chapter 10

  I carried the mug of steaming tea to the bedroom.

  Mel sat on the bed with her back to me, her legs crossed, wearing one of my hoodies she found in the backseat of my car. She hugged it the entire drive back to Kip’s place and then took it and got changed into it.

  I didn’t say a word about it.

  It was as good as hers now.

  “Here you go, love,” I said in a soft voice.

  She looked up at me and smiled. “Thanks.”

  My eyes looked at the corner of her mouth.

  Her mother’s boyfriend… hit her…

  It was hard to push the anger down. It was even harder to keep all the questions and thoughts to myself.

  Mel had brushed her lips to mine after she dropped the bombshell on me and then whispered for me to not say a word until she was ready.

  Mel’s version of ready could have been a day or a year.

  But I knew when to keep cool and I knew when to push at her.

  Tonight I had to play it cool.

  Tomorrow…

  I sat down next to her as she took the mug of tea from me.

  I put my arm around her and we just sat there.

  “Hey,” she whispered. “Do you still do the piano thing?”

  “From time to time.”

  “Do the others know?”

  “They know enough about it,” I said. “I have my own secret place. I’ll show it to you.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Do you still play?”

  Mel shook her head. “Haven’t touched a piano or keyboard in a long time, Barr.”

  “To be fair, love, it really hasn’t been that long,” I said with a grin.

  “Long enough then,” she said.

  We were in silence again for a little bit.

  I looked at her again. “Just so you know, Mel, I meant what I said before.”

  “I know…”

  “Not that part,” I said. “Go back even more. Tinsley and Ruby.”

  “Oh.”

  “I don’t trust many people. But I’d put my life on the line for both of them.”

  “Do you have feelings for them or something?”

  I laughed. “Now that’s a complicated story to tell. The short of it is this… I don’t feel anything that comes close to what I feel for you.”

  “Meaning you do have feelings for them.”

  “Meaning I know who I care about enough to protect.”

  Mel shut her eyes. “Barr… it’s not some game.”

  “Who said it was, love? BC was never a game to me. Mac is the one who changed things up. He’s the one who pushed it beyond BC. And I let it happen. I didn’t want it to go that way. I just wanted you.”

  “And that’s the problem. I don’t want anyone giving up their… whatever… for me. I can’t have that.”

  “Someday you’ll have to learn to accept it.”

  “I never will, Barr. I never will.”

  Mel sipped the hot tea.

  I stood up.

  She was the only person I ever met that could make my heart race and break all in the same breath.

  She sipped the tea again and then leaned toward the nightstand.

  Her arm wasn’t long enough to reach it.

  My eyes watched the way my hoodie pulled up along her legs, showing more inches of skin by the second.

  I stepped to the nightstand and took the mug of tea from her.

  I cupped my hands around the mug and gently put it down.

  Then I took her hand.

  My fingers slowly interlocked with her fingers like we had done in that random girl’s car.

  I put my other hand down on the bed, on the other side of her body, and hovered over her.

  Our hands that were touching rested against the pillow.

  She was Mel.

  My Mel.

  My Melody.

  And she was here.

  Broken as always, but she was right here.

  I looked down and saw the way my hoodie made it look like she wasn’t wearing anything but the hoodie.

  She sucked in a shaking breath.

  I slowly nodded.

  Then I grinned.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked.

  “You still feel it, love,” I whispered. “I know you do. You’re afraid to admit it because you’re afraid of getting hurt. And you should be afraid of that.” I lowered down closer to her. “I’m going to grab a smoke and think. You drink your tea and relax. I swear to you, Mel, you’re safe here. And not just with me. With Pres and Kip too. I need you to believe that.”

  I moved away from the bed.

  I wanted nothing more than to be in that bed with her.

  Remembering everything we once had and lost.

  I pulled her hand toward me and I kissed it.

  “And you should get some sleep too,” I said. “You have a lot of talking to do tomorrow.”

  “If I don’t talk are you going to kick me out?” Mel asked. “Throw me out on the street? Tough rich guy Barr…”

  I laughed. “You know, love, that’s the thing…”

  “What?” Mel asked.

  “I can’t ever really let you go for real.”

  * * *

  “Hey, there’s the fighter,” I said as Ruby came walking from Kip’s house.

  They were holding hands, but she broke away from him and put up her fists.

  She punched the air a couple times.

  Kip put his hands up. “I’m terrified of her.”

  “You should be,” Ruby said. “It was your fault.”

  “What did Kip do now?” Tinsley asked as she came out of the house.

  Pres followed behind her.

  He looked pissed as anything.

  What a shock.

  “The fight,” Ruby said.

  “Oh,” Tinsley said. “Yeah. That.”

  “And you and Mel didn’t do anything to help,” Kip said. “You could have talked her off the ledge.”

  “Don’t look at me,” Tinsley said. “Mel was fierce about it.”

  “How so?” I asked.

  “Let’s just say you better not look at any other woman’s chest,” Ruby said with a grin.

  “Speaking of her…,” Pres said.

  “She’s inside,” I said. “Having tea and in bed.”

  “What?” Kip asked. “Is she eighty years old?”

  “I like tea,” Ruby said.

  “Me too,” Tinsley said.

  “With some rum in it,” Kip said.

  “With some rum in it,” Ruby said in a mocking voice.

  “Come on, let’s go check on her,” Tinsley said.

  They ran t
oward the guesthouse and I side stepped. “Hold on a second, love.”

  “Who are you talking to?” Ruby asked.

  “Both of you,” I said.

  “Wouldn’t it be loves then?”

  Tinsley snorted. “That’s true.”

  “Leave her alone,” I said.

  “Fuck off, Barr,” Tinsley said.

  “No,” I said. “She needs to be alone.”

  “The last thing she needs is to be alone,” Ruby said.

  “Why?” I asked.

  “I don’t know what’s going on with her… but I look at her and see myself. Okay? She’s got stuff hidden in her eyes. She’s afraid. And she’s tough. I don’t know what the deal is with you two. But the last thing she needs is to be alone.”

  “Barr, she’s pretty cool,” Tinsley said. “We hung out with her for hours today. I’m girl crushing on her.”

  “I like that part!” Kip called out.

  Pres shoved Kip. “Shut up.”

  I gritted my teeth and swallowed hard.

  “Barr, it’s obvious you love her,” Tinsley said. “I think I’ve only ever seen you get this touchy with one other person…”

  She winked at me.

  “You know, I still don’t know that full story,” Ruby said to Tinsley. “Did you fool around with all of them?”

  “I don’t kiss and tell,” Tinsley said.

  They were trying to lighten to mood.

  I wasn’t in the mood.

  I pictured myself standing over Les. The dull edge of the knife to the back of his neck.

  “We’re not going to ask her anything about you,” Ruby said.

  “Now that’s a lie,” Tinsley said.

  “True,” Ruby said.

  “If you two mess with her…,” I said.

  “Stop,” Tinsley said. She put a hand to my chest. “Look at it this way, Barr, between Ruby and I, we hate all these bitches around BFH.”

  “Mel isn’t BFH,” I said.

  “Right,” Ruby said. “Which makes her in a way much worse. But we think she’s cool.”

  “You took care of us,” Tinsley said. “It’s our turn to help you.”

  “You’re really trying to win me over here, huh?” I asked.

  “Oh, totally,” Tinsley said.

  “You could just flash me,” I said.

  Before I could laugh, Ruby had her fist to my jaw.

  “Next time I’ll swing,” she said.

  “Let’s go,” Tinsley said.

  She pushed at Ruby and they ran to the guesthouse.

  It should have made me happy that they wanted to be near Mel.

  This could all figure itself out.

  I could show Mel what life was like near BFH.

  But the thought of her mother’s boyfriend…

  I stared at the house and felt the anger seething inside me.

  Climbing up through my body like a monster in a movie. With jagged, rusted spikes for hands. And eyes that were-

  “We need to talk about some stuff,” Pres said.

  I jumped and turned, ready to throw a fist.

  Pres had his hand out, ready for the punch as if I was going to actually throw it.

  “You’re messed up in the head, Barr,” Pres said.

  “You should have fought tonight,” Kip said. “Let that shit out.”

  I shook my head. “It’s not that simple.”

  “When is it ever that simple?” Pres asked.

  “I have to say something to you both. And it’s going to change the Rulz.”

  “We’ve been through a lot,” Kip said.

  “Yeah,” I said. I reached for a cigarette and took a deep breath. “But I might have just started a war we can’t win.”

  * * *

  I climbed into the passenger seat of the SUV and looked into the mirror.

  “She’s going to be fine,” Pres said. “This is personal now, Barr. Time to focus.”

  Kip pulled himself forward from the backseat. “Lonely back here without one of the girls. I miss them so much already. Especially Mel. I haven’t even gotten a chance to get to know her yet.”

  I looked back and curled my lip. “Let me make this clear. I will kill for her.”

  “Nobody doubts that,” Pres said.

  “So what’s the deal with Uly?” Kip asked.

  “East vs West,” I said, looking at Pres. “We’re moving from flames to…”

  “Forest fire?” Kip asked.

  “I don’t care what you want to call it,” Pres said. “Uly has always ran his own way. He thinks he’s protected. He’s got a problem though. That’s in the form of Hil and Ash.”

  “Oh, nice,” Kip said. “They’re fucking crazy.”

  “You want to go make friends with them?” I asked. “Or slam their faces into a wall a few dozen times to make them remember who we are?”

  “I like that part,” Kip said.

  “So is Uly running with Hil and Ash now? Is that what you’re saying? They’ve got their own little crew starting up, huh?”

  “Not sure what it is,” Pres said. “But I can tell you where it came from.”

  “Which is?” I asked, not wanting to waste any more time than we already were.

  “A girl,” Pres said.

  “A girl?” Kip asked.

  “What we did for Tinsley,” Pres said.

  “Shit,” I said and started to laugh. “They got tied up with a girl. How the hell does it make Uly get close to Hil and Ash though?”

  “No idea,” Pres said. “Her name is Belle. I don’t know much else. I don’t want to know anything else. But if they’re protecting her… or falling for her…”

  “Or passing her around,” Kip said with the click of his tongue.

  “Or it’s something deeper,” I said. “Nobody just comes to BFH for the hell of it. There’s always a story. East. West. Doesn’t matter. She’s either going to be really fucking smart and calculating…”

  “Or she’s going to be like a baby deer standing in the middle of the road,” Kip said.

  “And we need to be the truck without brakes,” Pres said. “End this now.”

  “If someone came near Tinsley…”

  I let my voice trail off.

  Pres had a point.

  We rattle them and let them spiral on their own.

  “What’s another fight, right?” Kip asked.

  “Yeah, right,” I said.

  I lit a cigarette and Pres started to drive.

  East vs. West wasn’t a good thing for BFH. The internal fights and bullshit from the past only hurt everyone in the present. When the fights kicked up, you could hear all those losers over at HCH getting hard. Their little pecker pencils slapping under a table thinking they had us beat.

  But it was something else that ate me up inside as Pres drove to another part of town.

  The part where the houses were just as big but the feel was different.

  It wasn’t so much a beach town laced with mansions as it was neighborhoods all perfectly designed to give the appeal of the dream life. Long streets that had dead ends and cul-de-sacs. Streetlights that lined those streets, keeping it bright enough to give the allure of safety.

  Instead of having yellow lines on their streets, they had skinny islands of grass, bushes, and trees. And during the holidays, you could bet your ass that every single tree, bush, and blade of grass had white lights on them.

  And everyone was as fake as they were at HCH.

  “So what kind of message are we sending here?” Kip asked.

  Pres turned down one of the side streets that wasn’t lined with streetlights.

  It had a darker feel to it and when I saw the figure of someone walking, I looked at him.

  He nodded.

  “Shit,” I whispered.

  Pres hit the gas pedal and sped up.

  He flew right by the person.

  He made a hard right turn.

  The tires of the SUV squealed for a few seconds as he turned around and wa
s now going down the street the wrong way on the wrong side of the road.

  He put on the high beams and stopped.

  When he opened his door, I did the same to mine.

  Kip climbed out of the back driver’s side door.

  I smoked what was left of my cigarette and the person had already stopped walking.

  “Pretty Belle,” Pres called out.

  Fuck, I hate this shit. I know why it’s happening. But I hate this shit.

  My mind raced with everything that happened with Tinsley.

  And Ruby.

  And then the years of crazy shit like this with Mel…

  Kip kissed the air. “Keep that all to yourself, girl. Okay?”

  “Nobody is going to get hurt, love,” I called out. “Just make sure they remember the Rulz.”

  Now depending on what Uly, Hil, and Ash had told Belle, she would either know what the Rulz meant or she’d call us the rules.

  But if they wanted East vs. West… they got it.

  Pres got back into the SUV then Kip and I did the same.

  He turned off the high beams and slowly drove forward.

  Belle was still standing in place.

  Kip put his window down and blew a kiss to her.

  Then Pres drove off.

  “That’s going to be a big problem soon,” I said.

  “One we can take care of,” Pres said.

  “Fuck, I was hoping to smash some heads into walls,” Kip said.

  I turned my head and looked out the window into the night.

  And I thought about Mel.

  The girl I loved.

  The girl that used to sneak around to play my keyboard, sharing music with me.

  That was our thing.

  And the hell that ripped that away before was the same hell that was going to do it again.

  Chapter 11

  (we gotta go back for a sec)

  Mel sat with her knees tucked to her chest on my bed. I was pretty sure almost every piece of clothing she now owned once belonged to me. But damn she looked good in it. I hit a few random notes on the piano keyboard and then stopped and slid if off my lap to the floor.

  “You’re going to break it,” Mel said.

  “Oh well,” I said. “I’m done playing. I’ve got you in my bed. What else do I need?”

  I lunged at her and my hands grabbed her sides, tickling her into a screaming fit.