BARR: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  I grinned, knowing that the spark between us never went away.

  And it never would.

  I stood at the side of the bed and waited for her to get under the covers first.

  When I joined her, she faced me and whispered, “You can take some clothes off. Do you really want to sleep in jeans?”

  “If you want me naked, love, just say so.”

  Mel groaned and rolled to her other side. “I regret this already.”

  I moved closer to her and put my arm around her and pulled her close against me.

  I held her tight and felt her breathing slowing as she melted into me.

  “Mel… do you regret everything with me?” I asked. “Meeting me? Falling for me? Everything we did?”

  “No,” she said.

  She kissed my hand that rested against her shoulder that was on the bed.

  Then she fell asleep.

  But not me.

  There was no sleep.

  Not until I knew I could save Mel for good this time.

  * * *

  When she walked out of the bedroom, I had breakfast and coffee waiting for her.

  She shuffled across the floor looking beautifully grumpy. Like she always did in the morning. She definitely had a true hate for the morning. And that was just one of the million little things that made me love her so much.

  She moved around the counter and sat on one of the barstools.

  I reached for a plate of eggs and bacon and slid it her way. Then came a plate of fresh fruit.

  And then a cup of coffee.

  Last… a tall glass of orange juice.

  Mel was picky about her food in the morning.

  She jammed her fork into the fluffy, scrambled eggs and then put the fork down.

  She jumped off the barstool and grabbed my shoulder. She pulled me toward her and kissed my cheek.

  “Morning, Barr,” she whispered in a tired voice.

  “Morning, love,” I said. “Don’t want to hurry you up, but if you take too long here, they’ll all show up soon.”

  “Who?”

  “Pres. Kip. Tinsley. Ruby.”

  “Oh,” she said as she got back on the barstool.

  “Not sure how you feel about them,” I said.

  She ate some eggs and talked with food her mouth.

  Again… all those little things…

  “I don’t mind them,” she said. “I can tell you are all really close and you all trust each other. It’s good. Because at BC, there was no trust. Ever.”

  I nodded. “They’re like brothers to me. And Tinsley and Ruby…”

  “They’re like sisters?”

  “No,” I said. “Not with the thoughts I’ve had.”

  Mel curled her lip. “Really?”

  “I’m just being real,” I said. “But you have nothing to worry about.”

  “By all means, have your beach town orgies.”

  I laughed. “Is that jealousy I hear in your voice?”

  “No,” Mel said. “Just mucus from sleeping on my side… gets caught in my throat.”

  “Now that’s attractive,” I said.

  Mel opened her mouth and pretended to cough.

  I waved my hands toward myself. “Yeah, love, spread those germs all over me.”

  She laughed. “You are so gross sometimes. You’re like Kip.”

  “Ah,” I said with a grin. “You’ve been watching. The way it all goes around here. You have a thing for Kip?”

  “Is that jealousy I hear in your voice?” Mel asked, mocking me.

  “Nope,” I said. “I would like to see you and Ruby go at it.”

  “Let me guess… in our undies, having a pillow fight.”

  “What? No. I want to see you touching each other’s-”

  “Please don’t ruin my breakfast,” Mel said.

  “You started it.”

  “I did not.”

  “Yeah, you did, love.”

  “No. I didn’t.”

  “You really did,” I said as I stood up. “I still love you though.”

  I kissed her shoulder.

  Then there was silence.

  Fuck.

  I rubbed my jaw and cleared my throat. “I’m going to grab a smoke. You have about ten minutes before everyone shows up. I’d like to show you something before things get too crazy.”

  “Oh yeah? Where are we going?”

  “You’ll just have to see,” I said. “Trust me.”

  “How about no.”

  “I’m taking you somewhere you want to go, Mel,” I said.

  She furrowed her eyebrows.

  Then she stabbed the eggs again.

  I put up both of my hands.

  Showing her ten fingers.

  Ten minutes.

  “Got it?” I asked.

  Mel put up her left hand.

  But only showed me one finger.

  * * *

  The little music store was hidden behind a storefront of what used to be a corner store that turned into a breakfast place that turned back into a corner store. The old Irishman owned the building and he was miserable as hell with everyone.

  Except me.

  And that was only because I shut him up by playing piano for him.

  He died a year ago and his son, Michael, inherited the building.

  It was well known his son was going to find a way to flip the building for as much money as he could and walk away.

  But the music store was still there.

  Three small concrete steps and a door that looked like the storm door to a house which I ushered Mel inside.

  “What are you doing?” she whispered to me.

  “You’ll see.”

  Michael was there, papers spread across the long desk where his father - Fergus - used to sit. He would strum a guitar on some days. Other days he played banjo. He had long, crooked fingers that could barely hold a pencil but he could play instruments with ease.

  “Can I help you, Barrington?” Michael asked.

  “Surprised you’re still here,” I said. “Didn’t take that offer from my parents, huh?”

  “What they offered was a joke,” Michael said.

  “Well, let’s forget about that for a second,” I said. “I need a keyboard.”

  “No,” Mel said. “What are you doing?”

  I looked at Mel. “I’m buying myself a keyboard, love. Why? Did you think this was for you?”

  Mel stepped back and shook her head. “No. This isn’t going to happen.”

  She darted toward the door.

  I looked at Michael. He stared at me the way his father used to stare at me. Except Michael was much younger.

  “You should take my parents offer on this place,” I said. “How long do you plan on sitting around here for?”

  “As long as I need to,” he said. “Is that why you came here?”

  “No,” I said. “Ring up the most expensive keyboard you have. Stand, books, whatever. Load me up.”

  “She doesn’t seem to be appreciative of your gesture,” Michael said.

  “That just means she loves me.”

  “Right,” Michael said.

  I exited the music store to find Mel standing at my car.

  Her arms crossed.

  The look of hate and death in her eyes.

  I slowly approached, wanting to play it cool.

  “You got me thinking about it,” I said. “I don’t have a keyboard at home. Now I do play piano. I have a secret spot.”

  “Another secret spot?” Mel asked.

  “I like secret spots,” I said. “It’s my thing. It’s comfort. You like them too, love. I know you do. I bet you have your own. And I know what the music meant to you.”

  “What it meant to me?” Mel asked. “How about… it meant nothing. It never did.”

  “That’s a lie, love. And you’re not lying to me. You’re lying to yourself.”

  “To myself? Not even close. I only touched the keyboard or piano because of you. It was the o
nly way I could actually get all of your attention.”

  “Blame me, huh?”

  “You always blame me,” Mel said.

  “I’m going to go in there and buy that keyboard, Mel. You don’t want it? Fine. It’s for me. And we’re not going back to that guesthouse either.”

  “No? Why not?”

  “Don’t worry about it. All I did was ask you to trust me here.”

  “Who is that guy? And why does he know your parents? And why are you talking like a business guy or something?”

  I nodded. “Let me get our keyboard, love. Then I’ll tell you.”

  “Our keyboard…”

  I closed in on her fast and my hands were magnets, forever wanting to touch her face.

  “Mel, I don’t know what’s actually going on here with us,” I said. “What’s happened to you. What you need or want. I could even admit the same for myself. That the Rulz are my way of staying distracted from things I really feel. But there’s one thing I know right now. What music meant to you. To me. To us. And if you’re going to leave, then leave. And if I’m going to chase you, then I’ll chase you. Right now… we have music. Or we will once I pay for that keyboard.”

  I backed away and took my hands from Mel’s face.

  She quickly made a move, grabbing my hands.

  “I need to know something.”

  “Anything.”

  “Are you in trouble here?”

  “Trouble. What do you mean by that.”

  Mel swallowed hard. “With me here… I know how it makes you feel, Barr. I know how it makes me feel. But honestly, is this causing trouble?”

  It felt like rusty razors climbing up the back of my throat.

  “Trouble? You and me? When are we ever trouble together, Mel? And when are we ever in trouble together?”

  I walked back to the little music store, leaving Mel hanging without an answer.

  Because she didn’t need an answer.

  She already had all the answers.

  Every single one.

  All I could do was wait to see what she did with those answers.

  Chapter 14

  “I don’t know if I ever talked about my parents before,” I said as I drove toward my house.

  I had nothing against Pres or Kip. Tinsley or Ruby.

  But part of me felt like I was starting to live at that damn guesthouse. Not to mention on top of that the constant threat of the door opening was driving me crazy. I wanted to be alone with Mel. She had all the answers. I had all the questions.

  The only way I could protect her was to know everything.

  But first… I had to talk about myself.

  “You never did,” Mel said. “I just assumed they were loaded. Because everyone tied to BC is loaded.”

  “Even you,” I said to her.

  Mel curled her lip. “I have family that is well off. And a mother who…”

  She shook her head.

  I took a deep breath to keep myself calm.

  “My parents are in real estate,” I said with a laugh. “That’s the easy way to put it. What they actually do and how they do it? I don’t think I really care. Believe it or not, love, but I actually have my own stuff on the side. I’ve taken to the family business in a way. But not all the way. My parents are ruthless. They know how to use each other to get what they want. Watching them is exhausting. They can circle around someone and just keep changing direction until that person is lost. And… whatever.”

  “Whatever?” Mel asked.

  “They get what they want,” I said. “That music store has been on their radar for a while. Michael won’t sell. He wants more than what’s been offered. I think to him if he lets the building sit and look like shit, someone will pay more just to keep appearances up.”

  “Right,” Mel said. “Can’t have a dirty looking building in such a clean town.”

  I laughed. “See? You’re getting it already. My parents knew I used to go to the music store. Again, my little secret.”

  “Did you play piano there?”

  “No,” I said. “It just served a purpose.”

  “So when do you play piano, Barr? I don’t understand this. Why is it such a secret now? Or even then? You had a chance to do something…”

  I grinned at Mel. “Only one of us had a chance, love.”

  Mel looked down at her hands. She started to pick at her nails to keep distracted from her own feelings.

  “So do you get along with your parents?”

  “They only really talk to me when they need something,” I said. “Which does work out for me. Can’t imagine the forced small talk as a family, you know? I think after a lot of the reality I had to face, they kind of backed off.”

  “But they stepped in when you came to BC…”

  “That was for themselves,” I said. “I’m not mad about it. Things worked out.”

  “They worked out?” Mel asked. “How did they work out?”

  “I met you, love,” I said.

  Mel opened her mouth and then closed it.

  Her nostrils flared.

  She wasn’t one for cheesy romance, but this wasn’t cheesy.

  It was real. And it was the truth.

  “There’s a lot from the past,” I said. “Which I’m sure you understand. There was a time when my mother had a problem with drinking. My playing piano helped her. They forced me into it and I was good at it. Things worked out. I don’t walk around and talk about it. It’s my thing. My private thing.”

  “Do the others know?”

  “The Rulz?” I asked. “Yeah. They know.”

  “Tinsley? Ruby?”

  I laughed. “Not sure about Ruby so much. She came from a rough situation. Tied up with some guy dealing stuff. I helped to save her. She and Kip…” I shook my head.

  “Tinsley?” Mel asked.

  “Yeah, she knows. I, uh, I showed her…”

  “What did you show her?”

  “Is that the jealousy talking again?”

  Mel’s cheeks flushed. “Not jealousy. Just curious. That’s all. The way you all act… you’re close. Really close.”

  “We have to be, love,” I said. “There’s a lot that happens around here.” I reached for her hand. “Same for you. Get close. Stay close.”

  “Words are so easy to say, Barr.”

  “Right,” I said. “So easy to say. Hard to live up to.”

  I pulled into the wide driveway that led to home. Except the word home was kept for my parent’s house.

  Mel’s eyes went wide at the sight of the mansion.

  I didn’t say a word.

  The house was just a house to me. I was used to it. Anyone who had never seen the place before always needed a minute or so to gawk and awe over it.

  I parked the car and wrestled the keyboard from the backseat.

  Part of me had to laugh when I thought about all the crazy shit I had done for Mel. And here I was again…

  I had the keyboard tucked under my right arm, my fingers wrapped around the loops of a bag that had books inside of it.

  Mel was nice enough to get the music stand and box that had a stool in pieces in it.

  “This is your house, huh?” she asked me.

  “My parent’s house, love,” I said. “I’ll take you to my part of the house. My room. But this isn’t my house.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing,” I said. “Just follow me.”

  I took her to the side door and led the way to my room. My apartment. My loft. My space. My part of the house. Whatever the hell anyone wanted to call it.

  The second I opened the door and Mel saw the high ceilings, the large windows, and the loft area, her mouth fell open. She dropped the music stand and the other box to the floor.

  “And you had me at Kip’s guesthouse why?”

  “Ah,” I said. “So you can enjoy some of the riches of life…”

  “No,” Mel said. “But if I had a choice after you made me leave BC…”

/>   “Make yourself at home. I really don’t come here as often as you think.”

  “Of course you don’t,” Mel said. “You don’t even realize how amazing this place is.”

  “Right,” I said. “I guess I’m just blind.”

  I gritted my teeth and left Mel to give herself the tour while I set up the keyboard.

  It made sense to put it at the window that faced the ocean. The perfect place to play music and… whatever.

  My fingers touched the keys but there was no sound because it wasn’t turned on.

  I walked away, laughing to myself.

  I looked around for Mel and had to look up to find her.

  She was up in the loft area.

  Where my bed was.

  The only place in this house I enjoyed being.

  So I could hide. Smoke. Think. Sleep.

  And in that span of thinking… all those days, nights, and hours, plenty of them were more like a fantasy, thinking about Mel.

  And there she was.

  I rubbed my jaw and knew hiding out here was comfortable… but only for a minute or so.

  Hell was on its way.

  There was no stopping it.

  I walked toward the steps to the loft and when I got up there, Mel had her left leg bent as she half sat on the bed.

  “This is crazy,” she said to me.

  “Appearances, love,” I said.

  Mel looked at me. “So it means nothing to you?”

  I slid my thumb across her chin. “I know what means something to me. I don’t need a mansion or a fancy bedroom to prove anything to anyone.”

  “But it’s still kind of nice and cool,” Mel said.

  I grinned. “Fine. It’s fucking cool. But that’s just who I am…”

  Mel rolled her eyes. She stood up from the bed and walked to the steps.

  I followed her down and she stared at the keyboard.

  “All set for you, love,” I whispered. “You just need to turn it on.”

  “I thought it was for you,” Mel said.

  “Well, it’s here for both of us.”

  Mel looked at me. “Do you really not play anymore?”

  I grinned. “One thing at a time, Mel.”

  She walked to the keyboard and did the same thing I did. Putting her fingers to the keys and pressing on them. But there was no sound.

  “I don’t know how it all happened the way it did, Barr,” she said. “After you left… everything was busy. And heavy. I was afraid. I was alone. Mac said he cared for me. He said he could find a way to love me. At that time, it was the best… it was the only…” Mel cleared her throat. She turned her head and looked at me, her eyes big and glossy. “I don’t know why it meant something. But it did.”