Stealing Spaceships: For Fun and Profit

by Logan Jacobs

  I waited until we were near enough to Orpheus that the ULA ship would have been a fool to follow us any closer. Since Orpheus was a war zone, there would be a cordon of Dominion ships stationed around the planet to keep supplies from getting to the rebels. We weren’t close enough to the planet yet that we would pop up on their radars, but the ULA vessel should know better than to risk being spotted themselves.

  I shifted out of impulse gear and veered the Skyhawk around to face our attacker. Just as I stabilized her out of the turn, sparks appeared all in a row along the side of the ULA ship. At first, I thought they had fired on us again, so I reached for the ship’s cannon controls, but Orla grabbed my arm to stop me.

  “Look,” she breathed.

  The same line of sparks lit up the red-painted ship, and they were so bright this time that they looked like deep space fireworks. But that wasn’t why the princess had gripped my arm.

  A Dominion vessel was hurtling towards both of us from out of hyperdrive. It must have started shooting as soon as it reentered normal space, and that meant it didn’t give two shits about prisoners or warnings. It just wanted to destroy, and if we got in its way, we’d be dead just as quick as the ULA ship exploding in front of us.

  Static sounded in the Skyhawk’s speakers again, but whatever the ULA vessel tried to say cut off as soon as the ship fractured apart from the Dominion fire.

  “Oh, no.” Orla hid her face against my shoulder. “Those poor, noble, freedom fighters.”

  “We’ve got bigger problems,” I told her.

  She looked up as the Dominion ship drifted closer to us. Its guns swung around to face the Skyhawk, and I glanced at the radar again. We might be able to outrun the Dominion vessel down to Orpheus.

  We were smaller and faster, but there were many Dominion ships stationed in a military cordon around the planet itself. They might not have seen us yet, but one word from this Dominion ship, and they’d all send fighters after us.

  “Self-identify or be fired upon,” a voice from the Dominion vessel commanded.

  Chapter 10

  “Self-identify or be fired upon,” the voice from the Dominion vessel repeated. “This is restricted space, and you do not have clearance to be here.”

  “This was supposed to be an easy job, you know,” I muttered. “A quick in and out, just a little piece of shit ship to lift and take back, that’s it. But that smug asshole just keeps finding ways to make this shit hard, even after I shipped his ass back off to Ineocca.”

  “Are you talking about Leon?” the brunette whispered from the co-pilot’s chair.

  “Of course I’m talking about Leon,” I snapped. “He’s the one who took on a hold full of murisia, and you seem to be nothing but trouble, too. I’m tempted to just hail them and hand you over right now.”

  “They won’t give you the bounty, you know,” Orla said with her chin in the air.

  “And just why not?”

  I pressed down on the transponder a few times to make the Dominion vessel think I was trying to answer them.

  “Why would they?” she answered. “They’d come on board, find me, and then they’d find the hold full of murisia. That would make you a criminal, and the Dominion doesn’t pay criminals. They just kill them.”

  “She makes a reasonable point,” Honey Bee chimed in.

  “Well goddamn it all,” I swore. “Ain’t that just convenient as hell?”

  “This is your last warning,” the voice from the Dominion ship said again. “Self-identify. You have ten, nine--”

  “They just think we’re a transport ship,” the princess said suddenly.

  “Yeah, who was just seen with a ULA craft,” I answered.

  “Transport of medical supplies,” Orla said into the transmitting microphone. “We’re a cargo vessel transporting medical supplies.

  I raised my eyebrows above my shielding glasses. She gave a little smile and half-shrugged. Well. It was better than no plan. I felt myself grin-- after all, we did technically have medical supplies on board. They just happened to be on top of crates full of illegal drugs.

  “We have no reports to expect an incoming shipment today,” the Dominion ship responded.

  “It’s not for you,” the princess explained. “It’s for troops on Orpheus.”

  “Describe the nature of the medical supplies on board,” the Dominion vessel commanded.

  I gestured for the princess to continue and leaned back in the pilot’s chair. If she wanted to play it this way, then I wasn’t going to stop her.

  “Standard medicines,” Orla replied. “Nutrient IV’s, pain meds, antibiotics, antifungals, that sort of thing.”

  “Such supplies are needed on Orpheus,” the Dominion ship said skeptically. “But there are also no reports of an expected shipment for the planet.”

  “Last minute diversion,” the brunette answered. “We weren’t supposed to come until next week, but we got the shipment early. We’re a contract vessel.”

  “If you are a contract vessel, you’ll have the necessary security code, of course,” the Dominion ship said.

  Orla glanced at me.

  “By all means, don’t quit while you’re ahead,” I told her.

  “Of course,” she answered the Dominion speaker. “Run code BC412F33. That’s bravo, charlie, four, one, two, foxtrot, double-three.”

  “Running code now,” the vessel answered.

  “Perhaps we should run while they’re running her code,” Honey Bee observed.

  I reached for the impulse drive but waited. If the code worked, we’d be free and clear to zip on down to Orpheus with all but a welcome mat rolled out. And if I jolted before they ran the code, I’d as good as ask for a death sentence. Between the Dominion vessel on our radar and the military cordon around the planet, we wouldn’t have much of a shot at survival.

  “And if her code is wrong?” Honey Bee chimed.

  “Then I’ll just have to fly very, very fast,” I muttered.

  Orla glanced at me sharply, but I just gave her a little wave. I gestured to the copilot’s seat.

  “I’d take a seat, if I were you,” I advised. “Just in case we need to get out of here in a hurry.”

  She buckled herself in as static came through the speakers, followed by a request to repeat the last three items in the code sequence.

  “Foxtrot three three,” the princess said again.

  “You sure about that?” I exhaled.

  “It was one of the security codes four days ago,” the brunette answered. “Before I left home, I mean.”

  “And it’s not expired?”

  “I guess we’re about to find out,” she murmured.

  The princess had more guts than I’d given her credit for. She might still get us killed, but at least she’d made an effort.

  “Your code checks out,” the voice from the Dominion vessel hissed through the speakers. “We’ll be sure to pass along the all-clear for you to our ships protecting Orpheus.”

  I exhaled as Orla thanked them, but I couldn’t stop my eye roll. The idea that the military cordon around the planet was for its own protection was ludicrous.

  “Thank you for helping to keep our troops in good working order,” the Dominion vessel answered. “Carry on.”

  I moved my hand away from the impulse drive and simply shifted the throttle to move forward at a more modest pace. There was no reason to make them suspicious now that they had given us the all-clear. It was like walking casually forward through a firing squadron, but you know they were only at ease because they thought they were in on the joke. The moment they figured out that you were laughing at them, all bets were off.

  I flew us far enough away from the Dominion vessel that we were just out of firing range. But almost as soon as I did, we passed into the outer ring of the Dominion ships that had the planet Orpheus under siege. They were massive things, mostly cruisers and command ships, but there were some smaller crafts that zipped around the larger vessels like flies at a picnic.
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  Of course, if any of them knew we had lied or that their precious princess was on board, the command ships would open up and spill fighters out like rushing water.

  I maneuvered us carefully through the Dominion cordon, but they gave no indication that they even saw us. These fuckers probably looked down on a medical supply transport as beneath them. Like they didn’t piss and shit like the rest of us.

  “Are they just going to let us pass?” Orla whispered.

  “Looks like it,” I answered. “Handy thing, that you knew that code.”

  She shrugged, but I could tell she was proud of herself.

  “I guess everybody has their moments,” I muttered. “You could have just identified yourself. They sure as shit wouldn’t have shot their beloved princess, and you could have gotten rid of me with just a word. It’s not like you don’t have the money to run away from home again.”

  “I didn’t run away from--” The brunette paused. “I guess I just didn’t feel like dealing with them, alright? Or with the Supreme Commander.”

  “You mean, your dad,” I clarified.

  “Same difference,” she pouted.

  “Well then, I guess it’s lucky for me that you didn’t feel inclined to deal with them,” I laughed.

  “It’s not a reflection on you personally,” Orla said with a scowl. “It has nothing to do with you, actually.”

  “Of course not,” I said seriously.

  “You’re very irritating,” the long-legged princess said.

  “One of my many charms, I’ve been told,” I answered.

  We were halfway through the barrier of Dominion ships now. As soon as we drifted to the other side, I could take off and leave them safely behind on the other side of the planet’s atmosphere. I knew the princess could have had me killed just now, or tried to anyway, and I was surprised she hadn’t just turned me over to her father’s troops. It would have been easy enough to hail them as herself, and then she could have just lied about how she came to be on my ship. That meant she must either really not like her father, or she must have taken a real liking to me.

  Both options worked for me.

  When the Skyhawk had only a few ship-lengths to go before she was on the other side of the Dominion barrier, the ship’s speakers hissed. That couldn’t be good, so I switched the impulse engines on and hoped they wouldn’t notice.

  “Cease movement and power down your engines,” a voice said through the Skyhawk’s speakers.

  It wasn’t the first Dominion vessel that had hailed us, and that meant it must be one of the assholes in the big cruisers around us.

  “Your security code is expired,” the voice continued. “Power down and prepare to be boarded for inspection.”

  “I guess someone decided to check it twice,” I muttered. “Fan-fucking-tastic.”

  “What are we going to do?” Orla breathed.

  Her full breasts rose up and down with each breath she took, and I had to tear my gaze away from them and force myself to focus on the problem at hand. The impulse engines weren’t fully powered, but they would have to be close enough.

  “Well, princess,” I sighed. “Now, we run.”

  I shifted into impulse drive just as the Skyhawk’s radar blared in total panic. Dominion fighter crafts streamed toward us, and the command ship closest to us opened its hatches to pour out more fighters.

  The radar display was too clogged with crafts to count.

  “Seems a bit overkill,” I growled as I kicked the Skyhawk forward.

  There were too many fighters to outrun. It would take me too long to enter the planet’s atmosphere, and by then, the fighters would have been able to blast us into space pulp. I would have to get some of them off my tail first if I expected to make it planet-side.

  The Dominion fighters expected me to go straight for Orpheus, so I did the exact opposite. I pulled a hard right on the throttle and skimmed along the edge of the Dominion ship barrier. With the impulse drive on, I flew the Skyhawk so fast that she would have crashed in a heartbeat if she’d been piloted by anybody but me.

  “What are you doing?” Orla screamed. “You’re gonna crash!”

  “Watch and learn, princess,” I said with a grin.

  At the last second before we crashed into the closest cruiser ship, I pulled up so that I glided the Skyhawk along just above the Dominion vessel. I was too close to it for the little fighter crafts to shoot at me, because they would have just ended up shooting their mothership. Even if the big cruiser had its shields up, it was still too risky for them. Their shots could just as easily bounce off the shields and back into themselves, and then they’d be the ones drifting as frozen mummies through space instead of me.

  I weaved the Skyhawk back and forth when I came to the gap between it and the next big vessel. This was the only time the fighters would be able to shoot me down, so I zigzagged to keep their sights from being able to lock onto us, and Orla just shrieked as the ship swayed back and forth. The cruiser ahead of me opened its cannon hatches, and I veered back and forth again to avoid its guns.

  Then I was flying just above the cruiser itself, and I was too close for it to aim its cannons at me. The fighters were closer behind me now. I had lost ground with all the maneuvering to avoid their gun sights, but at least the Skyhawk was still in one piece.

  A command ship up ahead opened its holding bay, and more fighters spilled out. Only this time, they were up ahead, so now we had fighter crafts on both sides of us.

  “Our ship has been locked on by multiple fighters,” Honey Bee warned.

  “It was only a matter of time,” I growled.

  “What was only a matter of time?” the long-legged princess asked.

  “Oh, all sorts of things,” I sighed.

  I pulled up on the throttle and made it look like I would fly straight into the oncoming fighters. At the last second, just as their lasers started to fire at us, I jerked the Skyhawk down at such a sharp angle that Orla bounced forward against her safety belt.

  The princess gave another little shriek as we skirted against the side of the command ship and dove to the opposite side. The ship was between us and Orpheus now, but at least it had given us a quick break from the fighters on every side. I skimmed over the top of the command ship and glanced at the control panel.

  Fuel levels were alarmingly low. I’d used up almost all our remaining stores when I flipped into impulse drive. Not that I’d had much of a choice, but our need to get down to Orpheus was now even more urgent. I would have liked to take out a few of the Dominion fighters just to put some of those assholes in their places, but I didn’t have the fuel to do that and burn through the planet’s atmosphere.

  There was an opening in the Dominion barrier up ahead. It wasn’t much of one, but it was big enough for me to know two different things. First off, the gap was too big for me to just avoid all the fighters before I reached the next cruiser. And second--

  “It may be our only chance to get down to Orpheus,” Honey Bee interrupted quietly.

  “Hold on tight, princess,” I warned Orla.

  “What are you doing?” the princess shrieked as she held the arms of her chair in a tight death-grip.

  “Saving our asses,” I told her.

  Fighters swarmed at me from both sides as I dove through the gap toward Orpheus, and the brunette just screamed and tightened her grip on her seat until her knuckles turned white. The cockpit window lit up with what looked like dozens of fireworks as they all opened fire on me, and the Skyhawk blared a mournful warning. The alarm sounded as old and rickety as the ship herself.

  “Incoming,” Honey Bee and I said at the same time.

  I spun the Skyhawk in a barrel roll to avoid their gunfire. Only one shot grazed the smuggler’s ship, and even then, only because I had to swerve at the last second to avoid a new influx of fighter crafts from the command vessel. The Skyhawk shuddered, but it was just a flesh wound.

  “How many assholes do these big fuckers carry anyway?”
I muttered.

  “Hundreds,” Orla gasped.

  I glanced over at the princess even as I jerked the throttle to carry us down closer to Orpheus. She stared at the cockpit window with her full lips slightly parted, and her green eyes widened at the number of fighter crafts that lit up on our radar.

  I didn’t have time to ask what else the brunette knew about Dominion fighters. I didn’t even have time to wonder what part of the Skyhawk had been grazed in the last round of gunfire. I was burning into the outer edge of the planet’s atmosphere, and that meant I could only focus on one thing: how to get us planet-side in one piece.

  I’d have to figure out how to land with a shotgun-damaged landing gear after that.

  I skimmed the edge of the planet’s atmosphere and shifted out of impulse drive. I had to conserve as much fuel as I could now, and I just had to hope that the Dominion fighters wouldn’t follow me down to Orpheus. If they wanted to alert all their little friends on-ground, then fine. But at least that would give me a chance to pilot the Skyhawk down to relative safety.

  The temperature inside the Skyhawk began to rise as we descended through the atmosphere. It wasn’t enough to boil us in our seats, but sweat beaded up on both our faces, and I saw that Orla still had a death grip on the arms of her chair. She gave a little moan and clenched her eyes shut as we continued our drop toward the planet.

  We burned through the thick layer of clouds that hovered over Orpheus. Rain splattered against the cockpit window, and lightning flashed around us like gunfire from the Dominion fighters. Orla gripped the arms of the copilot’s chair beside me even harder, and now her full lips were pressed tightly together.

  We fell out of the cloud layer in a wild spin. Then I pulled up on the throttle so hard that my forearms shook with the effort, but I stabilized the ship just as we came in view of the terrain below us. It was daytime on this part of Orpheus, but it was hard to tell exactly what time. The storm we had just passed through made even the daylight seem dark as we plunged down closer to the planet.