“I swear, Ward if you don’t get your ass out here and clean that—”
Ward came storming out of the room, passing a glare to Díaz as he hurried toward the kitchen. “I’m coming, jeez, Díaz. Don’t get your bunk gear in a twist.”
“I’m not wearing any bunk gear, but if you don’t start cleaning your messes, I’ll put itching powder in yours.”
She winked at Parker, grinning as she slowly ambled after Ward. Parker shook his head with a laugh. Those two loved to push each other’s buttons. Sure, they fought like cats and dogs, but there was playfulness under it.
It reminded him of Tamsen, how she teased him, placing silly bets, her eagerness to explore in the bedroom, or kitchen, or back of an art gallery. Damn, he missed her. This was supposed to be fun and simple. When had it all gotten so complicated?
When you started to care about her and betrayed her trust.
He ignored the annoying voice and headed out of the firehouse to his car. He’d just locked the doors when his phone chimed with a message. Hope rose as he pulled out the phone, but those hopes were dashed when he saw the sender. His mother. He had no idea why he thought it would be Tamsen. She’d made no attempt to contact him over the past week. Just because he was obsessively thinking about her didn’t mean she was doing the same.
He read the message. His mother wanted him to come over. But spending time with anyone right now was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to crawl into bed and stay there. For a week. But this was his mother. She might need him. So he shot off a text saying he’d be right over.
Ten minutes later, he was pulling up to his mother’s house in the Cherry Creek area of Denver. He parked in the driveway at the back of the house and made his way inside, knocking before entering.
“Mother?”
“I’m in the sunroom, darling.”
He followed her voice to the side of the house where the sunroom was located. His mother sat in her favorite chair, reading something on her e-reader. She put the device down as he entered the room, motioning to the chair beside her. A spread of finger sandwiches and fruit was set on the small round table between the two chairs along with a pot of coffee and two cups.
Oh boy. He must be in for it if his mother had her cook whip up conversation food. The last time his mother had a spread like this waiting for him was when she informed him she was engaged. Maybe she called him here to tell him they decided to elope. That would be good. Then he wouldn’t have to suffer through an awkward wedding, spending time in the presence of the woman who made him feel things he didn’t want to feel.
“This looks lovely, Mother.” He bent down to kiss her cheek before taking his spot in the chair next to her. “What’s the occasion?” AKA the bomb she was about to drop.
His mother took her time pouring him a cup of coffee and handing it over before answering. “I hear you and Tamsen have had a lovers’ quarrel.”
He paused with the cup halfway to his mouth, grateful he hadn’t taken a sip yet or he would have spewed it all over the sandwiches. Then what would he shove in his mouth to avoid his mother’s interrogation?
“I’m sorry?” There were so many things to dissect in what she just said, he didn’t know where to start.
“You and Tamsen.” Her head tilted to the side slightly. “I’ve been informed there was some sort of falling out?”
“By who?”
“Thomas. He discussed with me the other day how despondent and upset Tamsen was when she brought him dinner. Poor girl wouldn’t tell him a thing, but she clammed right up at the mention of your name. So we assume it was a lovers’ spat.”
Tamsen hadn’t told her dad about the investigation. Of course not. She said she wouldn’t, and Parker knew he could trust her. The man who didn’t trust anyone knew, without a doubt in his body, he could trust the one woman he’d hurt the most. How was that for irony?
As grateful as he was that she kept quiet, he hated that she was hurting. Hated that it was because of him. Hated this whole mess he’d gotten them into. Still, if she hadn’t said anything about them to her father, then how did his mother…
“Just because Tamsen and I had a…” He paused, trying to find the right wording for the implosion of their relationship. “Disagreement doesn’t mean we are…we were…we’re not…”
“Oh darling, please.” She waved a hand in the air, saving him from having to utter the word lover to his mother. “You get all moony-eyed any time her name is mentioned, you couldn’t keep your eyes off her at the engagement party, and a little birdie at your station said you two have been spending an awful lot of private time together.”
Who the hell at the station was talking to his mother and why?
“A mother knows when her son is in love.”
Parker stiffened in his seat, rearing back as if he’d been hit. “I’m not in…”
His mother waited with a patient expression. The word bounced around in his brain. Love. He didn’t love Tamsen…did he? She made him laugh, feel happy, cared for. She challenged him, had him opening up and sharing things he never imagined he would. He felt safe around her, safe to be exactly who he was. He didn’t feel the need to be the strong protector; he could let out his emotions, trust she wouldn’t use them against him.
He hurt without her.
Was this aching, driving need in his chest love?
“Shit.”
“There it is.” His mother sat back with a smile. “And don’t swear, darling.”
He nodded, his brain still trying to catch up to the fact that he loved Tamsen. Head over heels, hopelessly in love with Tamsen Hayes. “I screwed up, Mother.”
“Most men do, darling, but what did you do specifically?”
He took a deep breath, not looking forward to the disappointment about to come his way, and launched into his explanation. How he hired a PI to dig into Thomas’s background, spending time with Tamsen while keeping his investigation a secret—leaving out exactly how they spent their time together, some things a son should never share with his mother.
When he got to the end of his explanation, he glanced up at his mother. Her lips were pinched, eyebrows raised and, yup, sure enough there was the disappointment in her eyes, blaring back at him. She placed her coffee cup on the table, shifting in her seat so she faced him. Her hands rested on her crossed knees. They were about to have quite the talk; he was sure of it.
“Parker, I think it’s time you and I had a talk.”
See.
“I’m going to get back to you hiding something of grave importance from the woman you love, but right now I want to discuss my relationship with Thomas.”
Could they not? He really didn’t want to. But when he opened his mouth, she held up a hand.
“No, darling. This is the time when you listen. I know relationships are hard. You have to put a lot of faith and trust in someone. You have to be vulnerable. And I realize that’s never come easy to you. But I love Thomas. I trust him.”
“I know, Mother. But you loved Dad and look what he did. You trusted people before and…” He didn’t want to insult his mother. He just wanted her to see. “I was only looking out for you. Trying to protect you.”
She shook her head with a soft smile and rose from her seat. “Hold on for one moment.”
His mother left the room and came back with a dark folder in her hand. She stopped in front of him, holding it out. Parker hesitated before grabbing the folder.
“What’s this?”
“Open it and see.”
She retook her seat as he opened the file and started to read.
“A prenup?” He looked up in surprise. It outlined complete protection for his mother. In the event of separation for any reason, Thomas wouldn’t get a dime.
“Yes.” She gave a slight shake of her head. “And it was all Thomas’s idea. I said we didn’t nee
d one. I don’t believe in going into a marriage already planning for its demise, no matter what statistics say. I believe that love should be jumped into with one’s entire being, but Thomas didn’t want any doubt as to why he was marrying me. He loves me for me. He doesn’t care about my money.”
She reached forward, grasping his hand in hers. “Your father and I…our marriage was something we thought we should do. We both came from prominent families, moved in the same circles, got along well enough. It wasn’t always terrible with your father, but we didn’t support each other, we didn’t trust each other, and without trust, there can be no love. I trust Thomas, and he trusts me. I don’t regret the mistakes in my past. Life can’t exist without pain or we’d never grow.”
Then he must be growing a ton, because he’d never been in this much pain in his life. Not when he gave up his music. Not even when his dad left.
“The bad parts of our life only stay with us if we let them. It’s time to let go of all that pain and mistrust, darling. And stop sticking your nose in my business. I love you very much, but I am your mother. I know more about the world than you might think.”
He was coming to realize that. He was also realizing he’d overstepped his bounds. Tamsen had been right; he should have just asked her about her dad, worked to get to know Thomas more closely. He could have handled this whole situation a lot better if he’d acted with trust instead of fear and suspicion.
He needed to make this right. He needed to apologize. But most importantly, he needed to find some way to show Tamsen he trusted her. That he loved her.
He just hoped it wasn’t too late.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Tamsen,” Cora called out from beyond the bedroom door. “Someone is here to see you.”
Tamsen put down her brush. She shouldn’t be painting right now anyway. The only thing she’d been creating the past week were dark and painful. She bled out on the canvas, and it wasn’t pretty. Some people might like that art is pain type stuff, but she liked being uplifting with her art, challenging.
The red canvas in front of her slashed with black jagged lines of a woman weeping had been cathartic to get out, but staring at it now…it just made her sad. Not her usual brand. But she hadn’t felt like herself since that awful fight with Parker.
After her initial reaction to her discovery, she’d begun to understand he was only trying to protect his mother. She’d do anything to protect her father. Including not revealing what a jackass his future stepson was. She could forgive all that. What she couldn’t get past was his lies to her. Everyone had shit from their childhood to get over. But who lived their life so distrustful of other people?
She thought they’d had something together. Sure, it started out all fun and no promises, but it changed. They cared for each other. Or, at least, she thought they had. Maybe she’d been fooling herself. Maybe Parker had said he cared because she did and he didn’t want to make it awkward. What the hell did she know? Nothing when it came to that man, it seemed.
She should have stuck to her rule of light and fun. This loss thing sucked. Sure, Parker hadn’t died on her, but the hole in her heart was still there. His absence from her life was an ache even if he was still walking around. The pain of knowing they could have had a shot if he’d learn to let go and trust…
She picked up her brush and stabbed another sharp red slash across the chest of the weeping woman before throwing it back down in disgust.
Ugh, she really needed to stop thinking about it. And him.
“Hey, pumpkin.”
She swiveled on her stool at the childhood nickname. “Dad? What are you doing here?”
A teeny tiny part of her had been hoping her visitor was Parker, coming to apologize and beg her for another chance. But it had been over a week since she stormed out of his condo. Every day that tiny hope got smaller and smaller.
“I came to talk to you about Parker.”
At the mention of the man who wouldn’t leave her mind after breaking her heart, she made a low sound deep in her throat.
“And that’s my cue. Bye, Mr. Hayes.” Cora turned from the open doorway and started down the hall, tossing over her shoulder as she left, “My offer still stands to punch him in the nuts, Tam. Just say the word.”
Her awesome friend had been making the tempting offer all week, ever since she pulled the whole story out of Tamsen after a night of crying and margaritas. As mad as she was at Parker, she didn’t want him hurt. She just wished he could see that people actually cared. They could be trusted. Not everyone was playing an angle.
“Oh my.” Her father made his way into her bedroom, gaze focused on the canvas behind her. “That’s a bit…darker than your usual work.”
She felt surrounded in darkness lately. Heartbreak sucked. Screw everyone who said it made for masterpieces. The piece behind her might be full of emotion, but every time she looked at it, all she felt was despair. Art was supposed to be uplifting, healing.
Grabbing the drop cloth by her feet, she tossed it over the canvas. It would smear the still-wet paint, but she didn’t care. She’d poured out her sorrow, and she didn’t intend to keep the thing around to be reminded. This piece was going straight in the trash the second her dad left.
“Does this new direction in your artwork have anything to do with Parker?”
She tried to relax her clenched jaw. “Why would it?”
Her father gave her a look that said she was full of bull.
“Oh, maybe because every time I’ve mentioned his name recently, you tense up. Get kind of growly.”
“I do not growl!”
“You do, pumpkin. Just a little.” He stepped closer, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Or it could be because you had a major fight that ended with you two not speaking to each other anymore?”
Tamsen started, nearly falling off her stool. She glanced up at her father with shock.
“You know? How do you know? What do you know? Oh God, does Victoria know?” She grabbed her father’s hand in hers. “Did you two have a fight about it? Is everything okay? Is the wedding off? Crap, I was afraid of this! You don’t need to worry. It was a ridiculous fight about…well, never mind what it was about. It’s over now anyway. You don’t have to pick sides. I’m fine, Parker’s fine, we might not be…friends anymore, but we can be adults about this and—”
“Tamsen.” Her father pulled her up into a fierce hug. “It’s okay. Vikki and I aren’t in an argument. There’s no side picking. The wedding is still on. And I can answer all your questions if you’ll just sit there and listen. I promise everything is okay.”
She didn’t see how that was possible, but since she wanted answers, she sat back on her stool and told her mouth now was not the time to ramble.
“Parker came to see me yesterday.”
She leaned forward on her seat. “He did? Why? What did he say?”
At her father’s amused look, she sat back, miming zipping her lips closed.
“He made a confession.”
She sucked in a sharp breath.
“Vikki had him over the day before for a talk. It seems her mother’s intuition was correct.”
“Correct about what?”
He grabbed the stool on the other side of her easel. Lifting the small wooden articulated drawing figure off, he set it on the floor and brought the stool around to her side. Oh boy, if he was sitting, this was about to be one of those conversations. The ones where he told her something she didn’t want to hear and she learned some lesson like on those late 1990s TV shows the studios kept making reboots of.
“Vikki suspected there was something more between you and Parker than being friendly.”
Oh, they were friendly all right. Extremely friendly for a while there. And now…they weren’t.
“I thought she was seeing everyone with rose-colored glasses. Kind of how w
hen you’re in love, you think everyone else is, too, but she insisted she saw the signs.”
Avoiding eye contact, she picked at the dried paint on her hands. “Signs of what?”
“Of a relationship. Between you and Parker.”
A heavy sigh filled her chest. The cat was out of the bag. No sense in hiding it anymore. Though having a conversation with her dad about stuff like this was the last thing she wanted to do. She was already mired in anger and misery. Why not let embarrassment and discomfort join in? It was an emotional party no one wanted to be invited to, yet here she was.
“Yes.” She finally glanced up to look her dad in the eye. “Parker and I were in a relationship, but we’re not anymore, and don’t worry. I won’t let it affect you and Victoria. I will be completely civil at the wedding.”
And at Thanksgiving, the holidays, birthdays…oh hell. How was she going to face Parker when even thinking about the man caused her eyes to well and her chest to seize? She didn’t do well at hiding emotions. But she’d have to learn. For her dad’s sake.
“Oh, pumpkin. I’m not worried about Vikki and me. I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” she lied.
“Tamsen.”
“I am.” She would be. Someday. Hopefully soon. “It wasn’t even serious anyway, Dad. We were just…having fun.”
Probably something she shouldn’t admit to her father, but it was better than the alternative: sharing what Parker had done and how he broke her heart.
“So then all this anger and sadness has nothing to do with the end of your relationship and more to do with the PI Parker hired?”
Her head snapped up. How did he know everything? Seriously, did parents have some all-knowing superpower or what?
“How did you know about that?”
“He told me.”
A slight breeze could have knocked her over. She blinked, her mouth dropping open, but her brain was unable to form any words. Parker told him?
“When?” See there, that was a question. Okay, it was a word, but her voice went up at the end, so technically it counted as a question.
The Wedding Dilemma (Mile High Firefighters) Page 21