“Yesterday. He confessed the entire thing. His worry over his mother, hiring a PI, his feelings for you.”
Feelings, right. All his feelings for her were in his pants. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have let her walk out the other day. He would have apologized at some point in the past week. He would have done something, but he hadn’t.
He confessed to his mother and to Dad.
Okay, that was one thing. She supposed.
“Dad, I am so sorry.” Tears blurred her vision, but she blinked them back. “I didn’t know he was doing that until I spotted an email on his computer. I didn’t want you to be hurt—”
“So you didn’t tell me.”
“Yes.”
“Just like Parker didn’t want his mother hurt, so he checked me out.”
“Dad.” Anger started to replace the sorrow. “It’s not the same thing.”
“No, but you were both just looking out for your parents. Both protecting the people you love. I’d say that means your heart and Parker’s were in the right place even if the actions weren’t.”
“But actions matter.” She shook her head. “How can you not be upset by this? He paid someone to dig into your life. He violated your trust.”
Bushy graying eyebrows rose as he stared hard. “My trust…or yours?”
“You’re the victim here!” Why wasn’t he angry? Pissed off? Upset even a little bit?
“That’s a little extreme, don’t you think? No crime has been committed. Should Parker have asked me about my life instead of paying someone to try and dig up a dirty secret I don’t have? Yes. But the boy was only looking out for his mother. She’s told me about some men in her past who weren’t honorable.”
Right. But her father wasn’t like that.
“But how could Parker know that?” Her father’s words made her realize she’d spoken out loud.
“It still wasn’t right.”
“No, it wasn’t. He sees that now, and he acted like an adult, came and told me everything, and apologized.”
Oh goody, her dad got an apology. Guess everything was fine and dandy now. They could all move on and be one big, happy family.
“I’m glad he apologized to you.”
His head tilted. “But he didn’t to you?”
She scoffed, unsure as to why she was burying her feelings from her dad. She never hid anything from him. Not until she’d met Parker, that was. “Why would he need to apologize to me? You’re the one he was investigating.”
“Yes.” Her father nodded. “And you’re the one he was having a relationship with. The one he lied to.”
“He didn’t lie.”
“But he didn’t tell you what he was doing. And that hurt.”
Damn her dad for always being right and knowing her better than anyone. It was that parental psychic mind vibe thingy. He always knew when she was upset growing up and usually what it was about, too, whether it was a school thing, an art thing, or very rarely, a boy thing.
“This was just supposed to be fun,” she whispered softly. “I wasn’t supposed to…care about him.”
Her dad nodded as if he understood. “The people we care for the most have the power to hurt us the most.”
“Well, that sucks.”
“It’s called love, pumpkin, and yes, it can suck, but it can also be wonderful, amazing, terrifying, and the best thing to ever happen to a person.”
Something warm and wet rolled down her cheek, and it took her a minute to realize it was tears. She did love Parker. Somehow, sometime in all their fun, she’d fallen for him. She loved his laugh, his smile, his kindness, the way he never backed down from a challenge. Most of all, she loved that he never made her feel bad about being herself. He never once got frustrated with her rambling or told her her dreams of being a full-time artist were unrealistic. But…
“But he doesn’t love me.”
“How do you know that?”
She sniffled, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. “He hasn’t texted or called. Not once since our fight. And it was a bad one, Dad. I was so angry at him, and he acted like he didn’t do anything wrong.”
He’d blamed her for snooping, which, okay she had been looking around, but it wasn’t like she was looking for something to ruin what they had. That was the very last thing she wanted. And maybe that’s what she was truly upset about. Not that Parker investigated her father—which she still thought was a jerk move—but the fact that he didn’t understand why it upset her so much. He didn’t care how hurt she was.
He didn’t trust her.
“People in love often argue, especially when they’re hurt and angry. They’re all very powerful emotions. What makes it real, makes it last, is if afterward you learn something. Grow from your mistakes and commit to being better.”
She supposed that was true and Parker did apologize to her father. But she hadn’t heard a peep from him.
“Well, I’ve learned love sucks. All it does is rip your heart out and make you paint shitty dark emo crap.” She winced. “Sorry about swearing.”
Her dad gave her a gentle smile. “It’s okay, pumpkin. In this case, I’ll excuse it, but don’t let the loss of something you had stop you from accepting things into your life. I lost your mother, and it almost killed me.”
His eyes misted at the mention of her mother. “Dad—”
He held up a hand. “I’m okay. I wasn’t for a long time. I put on a brave face, focused all my attention on raising you, thinking I had my one shot at love and I would never get another. And then I met Vikki. She’s not a replacement for your mom. No one ever could be. But I love her. What we have is different, but no less powerful.”
She didn’t want a new love. She wanted Parker. But it seemed he didn’t want her. If he did, he would have called her the minute he apologized to her father. His silence spoke volumes.
“Just give Parker a little time.”
“Are you reading my mind, Dad?”
He chuckled. “No. But your face is as expressive as your artwork.”
Yeah, she’d been told that a time or twenty.
“He’ll come around.”
“How do you know?”
“It’s easier to admit fault to someone you don’t love.”
She scoffed. “Parker doesn’t love me.”
Loved having sex with her, yes, cared about her…he said he did. But loved her? No. She doubted that very much. The guy had such high emotional walls around his heart, she doubted anyone could scale them.
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” He shrugged. “But what do I know? I’m just an old romantic with stars in my eyes.”
She laughed softly. “Lucky Victoria.”
“We’re both lucky.” He winked, rising from his stool. “And speaking of, I better run off now. We have a dinner date tonight.”
She stood and walked into her father’s opened arms. Dad hugs were the best. Some of the misery and pain she’d been carrying all week melted away at his tight embrace.
“And, Tamsen,” he pulled back slightly to stare down at her, “if Parker is too stubborn to see the treasure right in front of him, that’s his loss.”
She snorted. “Thanks, Dad.”
Between her dad and her friends, she was grateful for the people in her corner. She just wished Parker was there, too.
“I have to go. I’ll see you this weekend at the shower, pumpkin.”
Her dad kissed her on the forehead and left.
Crap! The shower. She’d totally forgotten. Not forgotten forgotten, but it slipped her mind that Parker would be there, too. Would he talk to her? Apologize? Ignore her? She honestly wasn’t sure which scenario she most preferred.
Liar.
Okay, so she knew what she wanted.
Him. Just him.
Wasn’t that a punch to
the gut? She’d finally done it. Gone against her lifelong promise to herself and fallen in love, even knowing the heartbreak that could potentially follow. And look what happened. The second she did, boom! It fell apart. A week ago, she would have chalked this up to her being right. Love just wasn’t worth the pain. But now…
Her dad was right. She realized, deep in her soul, she wouldn’t trade her time with Parker for anything. He changed her. For the better. And the disastrous end didn’t cancel out all the good they’d shared.
Grabbing a fresh canvas and palette, she shuffled through her paint, picking out the colors that called to her. After an intense few hours of pouring fresh emotion onto canvas, she stood back and admired her new creation. Light blue and purple brushstrokes swirled together on the white canvas, creating an impressionist image of a weeping woman holding a cracked heart in her hands, but this time there was a slight smile on the woman’s face and a bravery in her eyes. Because she knew love wouldn’t destroy her. The pain was still clear in the colors and lines, but there was also hope and growth radiating off the image.
A soft breath of astonishment left her lips as she glanced at her work. So, this was what people meant when they said pain caused great art. This might be her best piece ever. And yet the one person she wanted to share it with…
A sharp pain dimmed her mood as her mind was once again consumed with thoughts of Parker.
He admitted what he had done to their parents. Apologized to her father. He seemed to be righting his wrongs and yet…he still hadn’t spoken to her. She might as well admit it. Parker Kincaid didn’t love her. She’d fallen in love with a man who couldn’t love her back.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Parker glanced over things one more time. Everyone was here, and everything was ready. So why did it feel like his heart was beating a million miles a minute? He hadn’t been this nervous in his entire life. It had to go right, had to. He wasn’t sure he’d get another chance, and if he screwed this up…
“Darling.” His mother pushed past the dark black curtains separating the back of the art gallery from the front. “Everything is beautiful. Simply perfect. I can’t thank you and Tamsen enough for such a wonderful party.”
He smiled, kissing his mother’s cheek as she came over to his side. “We wanted to make sure it was everything you wanted. Not that I can take much credit. Most of this whole thing was Tamsen’s idea.”
He swallowed past a lump of worry. “Is she…”
“Yes, darling.” She smiled. “She’s out there working the room, making sure the food and drinks are circling and everyone is enjoying themselves.”
“Good. Good.”
“I also noticed her eye wandering from time to time. As if searching for someone who should be out there helping cohost.”
“I know.” He nodded. He’d come an hour and a half before the party to get some stuff set up then disappeared the second his mother texted that Tamsen was on her way. “But I can’t see her until… I don’t want to mess this up.”
She took his face in her hands and stared into his eyes. “You won’t.”
He tried to take comfort in his mother’s conviction. “And you’re sure it’s okay? Me doing this at your party? This day is supposed to be about you and Thomas—”
She held her hands up, silencing his protest.
“When Thomas heard your idea, he insisted. Today isn’t about the two of us. It’s about celebrating love, family, new beginnings. And fresh starts.” Her eyes warmed. “I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time, Parker. I didn’t want to push you, but maybe that was a mistake. Perhaps I should have insisted.”
Her gaze fell to his side where his Les Paul sat in its stand. He’d pulled it out a few nights after the fight with Tamsen, meaning to throw it down the garbage chute, but instead he’d started playing. In addition to blistering the hell out of his fingertips, playing surfaced a host of emotions he knew he’d been pushing down for years. Tamsen had been right. He never should have given up his music. Yes, it reminded him of his father, and there was pain there, but there was also happiness, joy, and healing.
He was still rusty as hell, but he knew if there was any way for him to get Tamsen back, show her he truly had changed, he’d have to prove it with more than words.
“Thank you, Mom.”
He wrapped his arms around her, wondering if he’d ever be too old to gain strength and security from his mother’s hug. He hoped not.
“Now,” she said, pulling away and pinching him on the chin. “I’m going back out there to make sure everything is ready. Good luck, darling.”
He let out a deep breath, flexing his fingers and going over the chords in his head. He was about to make a fool of himself in front of who knew how many people. But it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was Tamsen. He’d be a fool in front of the entire world if it got her back to him.
Showtime.
…
Tamsen smiled and nodded at whatever her father’s coworker was saying to her. Honestly, she’d been on autopilot since she arrived an hour before the party to find everything set up and Parker nowhere to be seen.
Where the hell is he?
The champagne was flowing, Ty’s hors d’oeuvres were plentiful, the music was at a pleasant decibel, and everyone was having a good time. Except her. Sure, she put on a good face, smiled and laughed when appropriate. After all, she didn’t want to ruin the party for her dad and Victoria. But she’d been hoping to see Parker, to talk to him before this whole thing started. See if he felt…anything about what happened, about them.
Face it, he apologized to the wronged party, and he doesn’t think that’s you.
She bit back a painful sigh, trying to focus on what Mr. Hersner was saying. Something about the weather, she thought. Why did people always talk about the weather? It was there, it happened, look outside. Why the endless need to discuss it as if everyone was an amateur meteorologist?
At least the party would be over in another hour. Then she could slink back home and drown her disappointment in a tub full of raw cookie dough. Salmonella be damned.
“Attention, everyone!”
Tamsen turned along with the rest of the people in the gallery to face the makeshift small stage that had been set up right in front of the curtain to the back. She’d been happy that Parker, or whoever, had already made sure the area was all set for the small, local college band they hired because she had no desire to go near that back room today.
It was hard enough when she’d worked her gallery shifts this week. She’d had to hold back tears every time she passed though those black curtains. Refraining from cursing when her gaze fell upon the floor where she’d laid out the canvas she and Parker…the one that was rolled up and stashed under her bed because she couldn’t stand to look at it, but she couldn’t get rid of it, either.
“I want to thank everyone for coming out today to help Victoria and me celebrate our upcoming nuptials.” Her father paused while everyone in the room gave a soft round of applause. “Love is a funny thing. We find it, we can lose it, we can find it again, but it often comes to us when we’re least expecting it.”
Boy, he had that right. They’d specifically promised not to fall in love, but it happened for her anyway. Stupid love.
“Love can make people do some pretty wild things. Like agree to wear a bowtie when you know they make you look like a nerdy professor in a kids’ show.”
Everyone laughed when her father fussed with the black bowtie around his neck. Victoria kissed his cheek.
“You look absolutely dashing, Thomas.”
“Well, it must be true.” He glanced out among the crowd. “Because she’s always right.”
More laughter from the masses. It was all starting to give her a headache to go along with her heartache.
“Now, before we all go back to enjoying this wonderf
ul party, we wanted to thank Tamsen and Parker for bringing this whole thing together in such a beautiful fashion.”
She blushed when the attention turned to her, waving awkwardly as the people around praised her. She never liked being the center of attention. Damn Parker for not being here. He could have shouldered some of this. Again, she wondered where the hell he was. It wasn’t like him to disappoint his mother. Unless…her breath shuddered at the thought of some fire emergency pulling him away. But, no, surely Victoria would have said something.
“And you all are in for a real treat.”
She exhaled as her father brought the attention of the room back to the stage.
“We have a special performance for you tonight.”
They did? Who? She didn’t remember hiring anyone other than the college kids. Parker must have set something up without talking to her about it. How true to form.
“Friends and family, please welcome to the stage Vikki’s son, Parker Kincaid.”
Tamsen audibly gasped as the black curtain pulled back and Parker walked through with his guitar strapped to the front of him. What was he doing? Had he been back there the whole time? Was he really going to play? What had changed his mind? Or perhaps—she sucked in a sharp breath—his heart? She had so many questions.
Parker moved to stand next to her father who covered up the mic and whispered something in his ear. Parker’s gaze immediately found hers, and her breath stopped. Heart pounding so loud she swore everyone could hear it. She watched as he nodded, eyes still fixed on her. Her dad moved aside while his mother stepped up to say something out of mic range, too. Dang it! What the hell was going on up there? Victoria kissed his cheek then grabbed her dad’s hand, and the two of them left the small stage area.
Parker stepped up to the mic, his pallor a bit on the pale side, but his gaze never left her.
“Hi, everyone. Thank you all for coming out to celebrate my mother finding her true love.” He cleared his throat. “You know, I always thought that was such a silly notion. True love. I thought it was something people made up to sell movies and diamonds. I never believed it existed until, like Thomas said, it knocked me down when I was least expecting it.”
The Wedding Dilemma (Mile High Firefighters) Page 22