Courage to follow your heart

by Christina Aas

  When everyone had received their crab cakes and beers, the whole group assembled at the pier looking out across the water to try and spot the racing boats about to show off. The strange girl still had her arm around Kris’ waist, to Liz’ great annoyance. The girl had spotted Liz looking earlier and had since kept staring back at her with possessiveness in her eyes. Liz put her hands in her pockets, trying to shrug it off and seem unaffected. She did not want to give this girl any more ammunition than she apparently already had.

  The strange girl was dressed typically sexy in a very short skirt with long wavy hair and a too deep cleavage. All the guys kept stealing glances at her, and she surely enjoyed the attention. The guys were obviously jealous of Kris. Kris just stood there, that was Liz’ only consolidation at this point. Kris tilted backward leaning her elbows on the fence and slowly sipping her beer while she stared out across the ocean.

  What’s she thinking? Who is this girl? Liz was balling her hands into fists while she forced them to rest in her pockets. Her brows furrowed when she tried to decipher the situation in front of her. After some time, the girl leaned in and whispered into Kris’ ear before walking off toward the toilets. As soon as she was out of earshot way, the guys walked right up to Kris and padded her on her back. “Nice catch!” they congratulated her grinningly, Kris just shrugged it off, and tried to divert the attention elsewhere. “Hey guys, Liz and I had an idea on the ride up here. How about doing a skydive next weekend, or another weekend? They have a great site for it down in Monterey, just about an hour south of here. We can arrange the whole thing for the group, and all you gotta do is sign up so we know the size of the group we’ll be. What do ya say?” Kris talked to the whole group, slowly gathering attention with her smile and enthusiasm. The guys seemed ecstatic and eagerly joined around her to let her know they were in on the plan.

  ◆◆◆

  The evening progressed and the darkness arrived slowly while the group enjoyed the boat show in front of them and waited for the fireworks to begin above. Some had coupled up and were standing closely together in different corners of the pier while they looked up at the starry sky. Others were drinking and laughing loudly while they joked around. Liz stood by herself for a moment, letting her thoughts drift to the last time she had been out late at night with a big group. It had been the night that changed the rest of her life. It had been the night she had met her. The woman who had changed her life and broken her heart into a million pieces.

  The evening had started out with the group of her friends gathering in the city center, walking around between the different outdoor stages playing music of various genres. They had been sipping beers and laughing at jokes, enjoying the warm early summer evening outside. Then one of her best friends had suggested a friendly bet. He dared Liz if she would kiss a girl standing in a group next to them. He probably just wanted to see some girl on girl action, little did he know… If Liz hadn’t been so tipsy she probably would have blown him off and rejected the whole thing, but this particular evening she decided to take him up on his silly bet. She gathered courage from some unknown place and walked up to the cool girl.

  The girl was standing with a group of other girls, in the center, dominating the conversation. Liz remembered the girls had been dressed laidback and some had worn fancy cut hairdos. She mostly remembered the girl. She had dark locks of hair falling in loose waves off her hair until just above her shoulders. She had worn an open flannel shirt with a black tank top underneath and baggy torn jeans. She’d been sexy, but Liz hadn’t registered at that point. She merely saw her as a bet to fulfill, and through her drunken haze she flashed a crooked apologetic grin at the girl before she walked straight up to her and began kissing her. The girl, shocked at first, suddenly seemed to realize what was happening, and began to kiss her back. That’s when it happened.

  It was just like all the cheesy tales say, it was as if someone ignited a light bulb in her head and she abruptly pulled her head away from the girl and the kiss. She simply stared at her, gaping with open mouth as the shock registered slowly. The kiss is good, no not good, fantastic. This… It feels right, unlike anything has ever before. Liz remembered the girl’s look as she had registered Liz’ bewilderment. She had smirked at her. That was the last thing Liz had seen before she turned and quickly walked away, back to the safety of her group.

  Her friend had patted her cheerily on her back. “Wow, you actually did it. I’m impressed. I never would’ve thought. I certainly owe you that beer now!” he smiled laughingly as the rest of the group looked at her in awe. But inside of Liz was a turmoil of confusion and anxiety. What does this mean?

  For the remainder of the fateful evening Liz had stayed close with her group, avoiding looking over at the girl she’d kissed so surprisingly earlier. She had almost come to believe it had all been a drunken dream, when she’d felt a light tap on her shoulder and turned to find, to her astonishment, the girl staring back at her. “Hey you”. The girl had very gently touched her arm, and Liz had felt as if her touch was igniting her on fire. “That was some kiss earlier, but then you just disappeared. I don’t usually let so cute girls as you simply walk away, at least not before I can make enough of an impression to make you wanna stay.” She’d winked at Liz. “So, how about a raincheck? Meet me Thursday evening in Amsterdam?” The girl had leaned in toward Liz and placed her lips right next to her ear while she whispered softly into her ear. “I’ll show you a date you’ll never forget”. Then she had wrapped her tongue around her earlobe and sucked gently before releasing. Liz had felt her entire body tingle. Her chest had erupted in heat and she had flushed fiercely. Damn, what is this girl doing to me?

  That had been the start of the craziest month of Liz’ life, but also the best. It had been heavenly, Liz had never known life could feel so good. She had been walking around with a constant huge grin on her face, unable to be anything other than annoyingly happy, as her friends had put it. They’d all wondered what was going on with her, but she’d kept it, them, her own hidden secret. That was until that evening. She could still feel her heart tear apart, and how she had promised herself to never feel this way again. Damn that girl Liz thought to herself as a tear slowly made its way down her chin and into the crispy cool night air.

  She suddenly felt an arm stroke up against her back and around her side. “Looks like we have a lot of planning ahead of us huh? Almost everyone signed up for the skydiving already” a husky dark voice said to her from behind. Liz looked out over the water, trying to hide her crying while she said “wow, that’s great. I really look forward to it. Great idea Kris!”. She turned away and walked toward Katie and Bryan, standing over by the bench. Kris stood left behind, a very confused look on her face while she was trying to figure out what she had done wrong.

  “She looks devastated, what did you say to her?” Katie asked Liz when she approached, a worried look on her face. Liz couldn’t help herself but looked behind her back at Kris, just a quick glance but enough to see the hurt on Kris’ face. She felt sorry for just walking away, but she wasn’t ready to get in to the whole hurtful story.

  Kris caught the last glance of Liz and saw her slightly red puffy eyes, not very visible, but visible enough that she understood something had been up with her. She wished she had the guts to walk straight up to her, grab her and hug her tightly while she whispered into her ears how everything would be all right. But instead she felt Julia’s arms tighten around her, “Hey sexy, are you hiding out here? How about going home to my place instead huh?”. Kris looked back at her with an irritated look in her eyes; “We’re here to watch the fireworks remember? We gotta at least wait until there’s been some, right?” “Okay okay, don’t get mad. It was just a friendly suggestion” Julia shrugged off and raised her shoulders before walking away toward the bar counter. Kris reached back and grabbed her arm, “Sorry all right, I just got a lot on my mind tonight. I’m not really up for it, plus I promised a girl to drive her home to the base camp.” Kris apologize
d insincerely while she shot Julia a quick glance. “Okay, sexy, you’re forgiven for now. But you owe me alright? Next time I want dinner with wine first, okay?” Julia smirked and winked her eyelashes. “And I won’t take no for an answer!” She placed her fingers on Kris’ lips before she had time to respond. Kris gave up and sent her a crooked smile while she shrugged her shoulders.

  As Julia walked away Kris pushed her hand into her pocket and dug out her cell phone. It was now or never, this couldn’t go on any longer, she thought to herself while she texted “We’ve gotta talk, do you have a minute?” to Carrie. She knew Carrie would be devastated, and Kris was an asshole for bringing this up on the 4th of July, but she was just fed up with prolonging. It was time to have the talk. She knew it would be a horrible conversation, but she just needed to be strong and stay her course. Kris needed her mind cleared away of the heavy clouds hanging low and obstructing her view of the beautiful horizon. She sneaked a peak toward the gorgeous Liz standing with her friends over by the waterfront and felt good with herself, this was the right decision to take. Just as she got a text back and walked off to make the necessary call, the sky above her exploded into a firestorm of colors. The colors spread their wings downward and reflected their glint in everyone’s eyes as they all gleamed up at the brilliant sky. Kris didn’t see much else than the fiery reflection in a particular set of beautiful blue eyes while they looked her way, burning their imprint into her mind when she walked off to end things.

  When Kris was finally finished with all the talking and crying and blaming and yelling, she was physically and mentally exhausted, and all she could think about was jumping on her bike and driving far away to get some fresh air. She walked back to the group, but couldn’t see many people left. “Where did the rest go?” she asked Jeff, the Israeli flirt of a guy who had his eyes down the blouse of the Finnish youngster. “Most of the group left a little while ago, to catch the last train back to camp. Where did you go? You’ve been gone like forever.” he asked while keeping his glance down at the breasts of Tinka, who didn’t seem to mind at all as she smiled up at Kris. “I just had to take care of some business, but it took a bit longer than expected. Did you see if Liz, the Swedish girl, also went to take the train?” Kris asked, trying to hide the inquisitive nature in her tone of voice. “I think so, they were a big group walking to the train station at least.” Jeff’s focus was lost already, he was staring down at Tinka smiling flirtatiously at him while stroking his hand down her back. Kris rolled her eyes at the couple of lovebirds and turned on her heel to walk back to her bike, disappointment in her stride and sagging her shoulders. She had looked forward to those arms snuggling tightly around her body, just what she needed at this point in time, after the evening she’d had. But well, it was not meant to be. She would ride fast and ferociously instead, enjoying the high of running full speed down the empty nighttime highway. She felt her body tingle at the expectation of the thrill, she knew it always healed everything.

  The group was laughing loudly, sitting in their two four-seat booths on the train. Katie was with some of the other Australian girls, smiling at a joke Erik had just told, something about Germans and beer-making. Liz looked out the window at the darkness passing bleakly in front of her, wondering where Kris had gone off to. She had just disappeared, with her cell phone in her hand, just after that horrible woman had hit on her once again. Liz was certain Kris had walked off to flirt with someone, it seemed she always did. I don’t know what I thought, that I could actually be enough for someone like her. It seems my heart is destined to be broken instead. I seem to always fall for the wrong people. I can’t believe Amsterdam is about to happen again. I never learn! Liz slowly closed her eyes and felt a tear push through her lids and gently stray its path down her cheek.

  Chapter 9

  The sunlight forced its way through the tiny sliver of opening in her curtains, aiming directly at her eyelids as Kris lay on her bed, stretching her body to its fullest and yawning. It was absolutely fantastic that they had been able to sleep in today, it being Sunday and all. This was the first good night sleep she had been allowed so far. Her body had been aching for it. Kris turned over and looked at the clock, it was 11 o’clock already. The breakfast was closed, but she had a power bar in her bag so she could survive until lunch opened at 13. She had no plans today, it was absolutely marvelous!

  While trying to shield her eyes from the strong rays of sun passing into her room Kris thought she would go outside and lay in the sun for a bit. It seemed the only sensible plan for a lazy, sunny Sunday. She put on her black bikini and grabbed a towel and her iPod and stepped out into the glistening heat. As she entered the outside world she immediately heard numerous happy voices, it seemed everyone was ecstatic with their day off and the fabulous weather bestowed on them. Shiny, happy people wandered all about her, hurrying off to play ball or rent cars or go shopping or whatever their plans were. Kris was grateful that she had not promised anyone anything today, and that she could just hide away in a park somewhere and listen to good music. She walked off to the park behind the laundry building, she knew almost no one else was aware of this place. While she walked in the direction of blissful quietness she passed several other students. Every time someone passed her, they asked her about the skydiving experience and when it would be. It seemed word travelled faster than a jet fuelled rocket here, and a lot of people were interested in joining. Kris smiled and told everyone that they would try to get it done in just a couple of weeks. They would count the number of interested persons on Monday, when everyone was back in their classes. Then she and Liz would call the booking agency and make all the necessary arrangements. They would also have to rent cars to get everyone down to Monterey, but all would be worked out in proper detail in due time.

  Kris walked on toward the hidden park, a smile on her face and a blissful state of mind. She always felt her best when she was on top of her game, things taken care of and good prospects ahead. She was happy with her decision yesterday to finally end things with Carrie, for good this time. It had been tough, but it was the right move, she was certain. Now she could focus her energy on more positive things instead, such as arranging the skydiving thing and passing her exams this summer, learning all she needed about space robotics – which served as a nice complement to her PhD research. She knew she wanted to start some kind of company one day, and the best would be something where she could push the boundaries for the achievable and help excel technology to reach new innovations. This summer would serve as the useful stepping stone in merging all these thoughts onto the right page in her mind. As she strode confidently onto the bright green grass field, she suddenly stopped mid-step.

  Straight ahead Liz was laying looking like a goddess. She wore a stunning dark green low-cut bikini which accentuated her best features; her breasts were nicely cupped and stood out above her flat belly while her hips were embraced by the green fabric. She was listening to some kind of music and wore a protective eye shade to shield her from the bright sun, so she obviously had no idea Kris was on her way toward her. Kris smirked to herself, there were so many ways to play this out and she was not sure if the naughty part of her brain would win over the angel sitting on her shoulder shaking her head disapprovingly. Kris walked carefully toward Liz while she slowly wet her lips with her tongue, feeling her throat suddenly very dry and her palms breaking a sweat. It was not the blistering summer heat getting to her, but rather the absolutely gorgeous girl laying delicately right in front of her. She wanted nothing more than to embrace her and impress away any hesitation or insecurities. Instead she walked carefully up to the side of Liz and just looked down at her, enjoying the view thoroughly. Finally, Kris bent down on her knees and put one hand up to the chin of Liz, gently stroking her thumb down along her cheek bone.

  Liz tensed up immediately while her hand slowly moved up to her eyes to remove the shade hiding the world from her view. Her eyes opened wide when she found herself staring up at Kris hovering just in
ches above her. Kris’ eyes were focused on her lips, her tongue slowly passing across her own lips, lust clearly visible in her dark green eyes. Liz was stunned, she was sure she was still day-dreaming. She pulled out her earpieces before bringing her fingers to her elbow and pinching the skin just below. She had to squint her eyes at the pain caused by her own fingers. Okay, so I’m apparently not dreaming this scenario. But then what is this?. “H.. Hi..” Liz barely managed to get out a sound, her mouth finding it difficult to locate the right syllables. A low voice vibrated in response, bringing a tingling feeling to her whole body. “Hey you” Kris smiled down at her. “Where did you go off to yesterday, did you forget you had a ride home to catch on my bike?”

  “No, it wasn’t like that. I just saw you walked off and when you never came back, and the rest were talking about the last train home, I was worried that I wouldn’t get a chance to go home if I waited and you never showed. So I decided to join them to be on the safe side.” Liz muttered nervously while she fidgeted with her fingers, looking shyly down at them. Kris brought her own hand up to Liz’ chin again and slowly raised her head until their eyes met. “You are so adorable, you know that?” Liz felt sparks shoot through her body, her entire skin felt on fire as it tingled. Kris leaned further down until her lips hovered just above Liz’ and Liz felt her breath cut short and her heart skip a beat. She could feel the breath of Kris on her lips, and moisture developing between her legs when she saw the desire in Kris’ eyes while she leaned over her. “Kiss me please” Liz uttered between short breaths, straining to keep her body in check as it screamed for her touch.