by Nicola Jane
I head to my bike and Raven follows. “What the hell’s going on?” she hisses.
“I’m outta here. You coming?” I ask.
“Who’s this?” she asks, glancing at the naked woman.
“She needs a lift outta here too. Get on the back of the bike to hide her so I don’t get pulled by the cops.” Raven nods and gets on the bike without hesitation.
Chapter Nine
Leia
I have ten missed calls from Riggs. I hit ‘call back’ and press the phone to my ear. “Leia, why didn’t you answer your phone?” he yells.
“I’m at work,” I snap. “My boss doesn’t understand that I have a psycho brother who runs a biker club.”
“Have you heard from Chains?” he growls.
“No,” I say, my interest suddenly peeked. “Why?”
“Something went down at the weekend in Manchester. I’ve just got off the phone with Cobra and he’s looking for Chains. Says he injured a lot of his men for no reason.”
“That doesn’t sound like Chains,” I mutter, more to myself than for Riggs.
“Well, it wasn’t like him to decide to claim a woman he hardly knows and drive off to join another charter without speaking to me, but guess things change.” Riggs is still bitter that Chains left like he did, but I can’t exactly explain the reason why, so I bigged up his love for Dolly even though it killed me inside. “I tried to call and he didn’t answer. Can you try?”
I tried to call him on Friday and he cancelled my call, but I agree to try anyway. I check my watch, and I have five minutes left of my break, so I dial Chains’ number. After the fourth ring, he answers. It surprises me and I choke on my words.
“You okay, Leia?” he asks, his voice full of concern.
“Are you okay? Riggs called me. He said something happened in Manchester and now you’re not answering his calls.”
“Right,” he mutters. “I’ll call him. Things good with you?” he asks.
No, actually, I’m pregnant with your baby and I have no idea what to do because I just started a trainee job at the hospital as a nurse. The shifts are killing me and I can’t stop feeling sick. But how’s life with you? “Yeah, all good on my end. Call him—he’s worried.” I disconnect the call and pinch the bridge of my nose. My life is a mess.
A week passes. I’ve done my first full week as a nurse and I’m exhausted. I had my pregnancy confirmed by the doctor. Five weeks. Five bloody weeks. I don’t know if I’m still in shock or if I’m in denial. All I know is every time I think about it, a wave of sickness hits me and I get all anxious and dizzy.
I arrive at Gia’s dad’s restaurant. We agreed to Friday night dinner now that I can’t drink. She’s already sat at a table waiting for me and I smile as I approach. “Finally. I’m starving,” she says, hugging me.
“Sorry. I had the third degree off my mum.” Frankie senses that something is wrong and keeps pestering me to talk. She’s always been good at finding stuff out from me, but this is too huge.
“I take it you didn’t tell her?”
I shake my head and fill my glass with water from a jug on the table. “I’m not ready for them all to know. I can’t stand the fuss and the accusations that’ll follow.”
“You said no one knows about you and Chains, so lie. Tell them it was a one night stand.”
“And when exactly would that have happened? They know where I am all the time.”
“They didn’t know that night,” she says and shrugs.
“Because Chains was the one who was supposed to be watching me.” I laugh.
“My beautiful wife to be,” says Vinn as he approaches. Gia rolls her eyes, but I smile. He’s only teasing, but I like that he tries to make me feel special. As he glides towards our table, the heads of women all around us turn to watch him. He’s mesmerizing. “How is my baby?” he asks. I gasp and Gia almost chokes on her water. “Is Diesel protecting you?” he adds. I let out a sigh when I realize he means the puppy he gave me.
I smile awkwardly. “Yes. He growls whenever a man comes near me. Did you teach him that?” I ask. It’s true. If any of the guys come too close, he snarls at them.
“I’d like to think so, but sadly no. Maybe he just knows how precious you are.”
“Stop, you’re making me nauseous,” mutters Gia.
“Did Gia tell you her good news?” asks Vinn brightly, ignoring his stroppy sister.
I look at Gia and she’s scowling. “No,” I say.
“She’s meeting the man that my father thinks is a good match for her,” he says proudly and my eyes widen. Gia had spoken about an arranged marriage, but I didn’t think it’d happen for some time. “He’s from a good family.”
“That’s great,” I say, faking a smile. “Will your father find you a wife also?” I add.
“Oh, Vinn gets a say in who he marries,” snaps Gia bitterly.
“So do you,” he mutters. “My wife was chosen many years ago,” he adds, giving Gia a warning glance. “She’s arriving from Italy soon.” My smile this time is genuine. Vinn will make a good husband. He’s thoughtful and kind. Whoever she is will be lucky to marry this god.
Once he’s gone, I turn my attention back to Gia. “Fuck, G.”
“I bet he’ll be a fat, balding little fuck with a small dick,” she hisses.
I can’t help the laugh that slips out. “Let’s pray for an Adonis then, with rippling biceps and a huge cock that hangs like a horse,” I say, holding my hands in prayer position. It gets a smile from Gia.
The next morning at breakfast, Riggs is staring hard at me. “What?” I ask.
“I heard you throwing up this morning. Now you look fine. Did you eat something bad?”
My first proper morning sickness hit me hard and I spent a good hour over the toilet. “Maybe.” I shrug. “Did you get hold of Chains?”
“Yeah. I’m sending some of the guys to Manchester to look over the club there. Things ain’t good.”
“Is Chains safe if they're looking for him?” I ask.
“No, but he can look after himself. Mum said something’s on your mind.”
I slam my fork down. “Christ, can’t I eat breakfast in peace? I’m fine, okay. I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine,” he pushes.
“I want to move out,” I blurt out. It wasn’t the way I intended to bring it up, but now I have.
“Why?” he asks.
“Because I do. I’m twenty. I want to do what other girls my age do.”
“No,” he says firmly. “You’re not moving out.”
“I am,” I argue. “You can’t stop me.”
“Watch me.” He gets up and leaves the room. Mum comes in and I glare at her.
“Why did you tell Riggs there’s stuff on my mind? I told you I’m good.”
“You’re not good. Something’s wrong,” Mum says.
“Yes, I want to move out. I told him and he said I can’t. How can he stop me? I’m an adult.”
My mum eyes me for a few silent minutes. “Is it that boy you were seeing before? Ryan?” she asks.
“No.” I sigh. I haven’t heard a thing from him since he left on the day of my party.
“Because if he’s got you into some kind of trouble, then tell me and I’ll sort it,” she continues.
“Trouble?” I repeat with a laugh. “Ryan was straighter than a poker stick. That was half the problem.”
“So, he isn't the father?” she asks. I freeze and stare at her open-mouthed. “It’s just you’re a James and we have this look about us when we’re pregnant. I saw it a few weeks ago, but I couldn’t be sure, but now, well, now it’s all over your face.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I whisper.
She sighs. “I haven’t told your brother. I haven’t told anyone. Talk to me, baby girl.”
CHAINS
I chuck some money on the table and grab Raven’s hand. “Thanks,” I call to the waitress as we head out.
“Where to next?” asks
Raven.
“Let’s see where the road takes us,” I mutter. We’ve been moving since we left Manchester. I don’t stay in one place for more than two days because Riggs tipped me off that Cobra was out looking for me. He insisted I come back to the club for protection and I had to convince him I was good and in love with Raven, that I want to show her the bloody damn world.
The road takes us to Blackpool, where we find a bed and breakfast that’s cheap and near the seafront. “Did you speak with Riggs?” she asks.
“I told you, I can’t go back there,” I mutter, taking a seat on the balcony of our room and looking out at the busy beach.
“But if we go together and that Cree guy sees you’ve moved on, why would he care that you’re back?”
“He just will. I don’t wanna talk about it,” I snap. I never do. Raven’s desperate for a home, and I’d love to give her that security because she deserves it, but I can’t go back to the club. If I see Leia again, who knows how I’ll react. I miss her so bad, it’s a physical pain.
Raven and I aren’t a thing but things have progressed. We both enjoy sex but neither of us want a relationship, and she knows how I feel about Leia, so Cree will smell a rat. He isn’t stupid.
She sighs. “We can’t spend the rest of our lives moving around like this.”
“I have a place,” I admit. “It’s in London, but not at the club. Maybe we can go there eventually, but for now, let’s keep moving. Once Riggs gives me the all clear, we can head back there.”
“Can we at least go to the beach and enjoy what Blackpool has to offer?” she asks hopefully. I don’t have the heart to tell her no, so I find myself nodding. Raven confided in me not long after we left the club. She grew up in the care of an aunt and uncle. She doesn’t believe they were actually related at all, but her father told her they were, right before handing her over. Turns out they didn’t have a nurturing bone in their bodies and Raven had a shit life until she ran away at age fourteen. Since then, she’d lived on the streets until one of the guys from the club found her a few months back.
So when she asks me to do stuff like take her to the funfair, I can’t say no. She missed all that as a kid and as she wanders around in awe, popping cotton candy into her mouth, I find myself smiling. It feels good to make her happy. And then I think of Leia, like I always do. She must come into my head a thousand times a day. Even Raven’s joy can’t stop the pain of missing Leia and the club.
We spend three days in Blackpool, just because Raven loves it so much, before we leave and head down to Southport. It’s another seaside town where we’re less likely to draw attention to ourselves. It’s late when we finally find a hotel, and Raven is in the shower when my cell rings. It’s Cree. I haven’t spoken to him since I left.
“Yeah?” I don’t feel like I can refer to him as my brother anymore even though I sound blunt.
“Riggs is talking about calling you to ask you to come back here,” he mutters, not sounding at all happy about it. “He wants you home.”
“And how do you feel about that?” I ask. I knew Riggs would try harder to get me back home. We’re close and he’s pissed I just left without speaking to him about it.
“You know how I feel about that, Chains. I don’t want you anywhere near this fuckin’ place and I don’t want you near Leia. I almost told him tonight,” he admits.
“Yeah?” I’m not surprised. In fact, I expected him to have told him already, so the fact he hasn’t surprises me more. “So why didn’t you?”
“Fuck knows. You betrayed him and you deserve to suffer, but . . . ” He trails off. Cree hates talking feelings, even though he’s much better at it since meeting Eva. “It’s weird not having you around.”
“You can say it, brother, if you want me home cos you miss me,” I say with a smirk.
“Don’t push it,” he says, but I hear the smile in his voice. “I don’t know what the answer is, Chains. Leia’s talking about moving out. Maybe if she does, it could work.”
“She’s moving out?” I repeat. “Where to?”
“I can’t talk about her with you, man,” Cree says and sighs. “It ain’t right. I just wanted to pass on Riggs’ message. You were right about Cobra—he’s not fit to be president. We gotta dispose and dismantle that place.”
“Maybe we aren’t watching our other charters close enough. We need to think about regular drop-ins. Maybe that’s what I could do. Keeps me out of trouble when I’m on the road.”
“Riggs said you’d dumped Dolly and found a new chick?”
“Dolly didn’t work out. She liked the white powder more than me. Hard to believe, I know,” I joke. “Raven’s travelling around with me,” I add as she comes into the room wrapped in a towel.
“Is it serious?” he asks.
“It could be,” I say, because if I can never have Leia, then surely Raven is the next best thing. We get on. She’s easy-going and not into games. I can see it working if I could just get Leia outta my head.
“I’m happy for you, brother. Riggs is taking out the target tonight. You’ll be safe to settle somewhere.”
“Good to know,” I say. “See you round.”
I disconnect the call as Raven drops her towel and crawls over the bed to me. “Who was that?” she asks, making a grab for my belt and pulling it open.
“Cree,” I say and she looks up surprised.
“I thought he hated you?”
“He does. He misses me though. I’m a lovable rogue.”
Raven smiles as she releases my cock. “You men are so weird. He hates you but he misses you? Makes no sense at all.” I don’t bother to answer because she sucks my cock into her mouth and makes me forget my words.
I get two hours of sleep. Raven woke me throughout the night to fuck. I’m not complaining, but jeez, the woman is insatiable. I slap her naked ass and she wakes. “It’s too early,” she groans.
“You should have got more sleep,” I say. “You coming to London or what?”
She sits up and smiles widely. She’s always wanted to go to London. “To your place?” she asks and I nod. It’s a two-story house in Peckham which isn’t too far from the clubhouse but far enough for me to avoid anyone there.
Chapter Ten
Leia
I glance nervously at Gia and she gives me a reassuring nod. Eva and Anna are waiting for me to speak, but the words just won’t come. Gia arranged this meal tonight so I could talk to them about the pregnancy. It’s been four weeks since I discovered it and Gia thinks I’m in denial because I haven’t told anyone. Apart from Mum guessing, no one else knows, and after speaking to her that morning, I’ve avoided the topic.
The waiter tops up Gia’s and Eva’s glasses. He holds it in my direction and I pick up my glass and hold it out for him. “Leia,” hisses Gia and I roll my eyes, slamming the glass back down.
“It can’t be that bad. Just tell us,” pleads Anna.
“I don’t want Riggs or any of the guys to know,” I begin and they both nod. The girls are good at keeping secrets. “Gia did a pregnancy test,” I say and they both smile at Gia. “It was negative,” I add and they frown.
“All five tests were, and the four I’ve done since then,” says Gia helpfully.
“I’m so confused,” groans Anna.
“You’re making this so much harder than you need to,” Gia tells me. I grab Eva’s glass and take a few mouthfuls of the red wine. Fuck it, I need Dutch courage.
“I also did a test. It was positive. I did several and then I went to the doctor and he confirmed it.” I drain the rest of the red wine and then click my fingers like they do in films. Instead of a refill, I get a stony glare from the waiter. I guess it’s not like it is in the movies.
Both women stare at me with their mouths open. “But . . . erm . . . what?” stutters Anna.
“It was a complete shock. I did the test as a favour to Gia because she didn’t believe they worked. Turns out they do.”
Eva gives Gia an accusing glare. �
�We work together every day and you didn’t tell me!”
“I know, I’m sorry.” She winces. “It was a huge secret and I didn’t want to be the blabbermouth.”
“Have you told Ryan yet?” asks Anna. It’s a plausible conclusion and one I didn’t think about until now.
“No. I don’t want to. He’s about to start his career and I don’t want to hold him back,” I lie. I feel Gia’s eyes burning into me, but I avoid her glare. I’m not ready to confess the truth—I’m not sure I’ll ever be.
“We’re here for you, sweety, whatever you decide,” says Eva.
“How’s things with you and Riggs?” I ask Anna, changing the subject.
“Okay, I guess. He’s busy with club stuff in Manchester, so I haven’t spoken to him much this week. He still doesn’t really acknowledge the pregnancy. I hope that when the baby is here, he’ll feel happier.”
Anna moved back into the club weeks ago, but things haven’t just gone back to normal. Seems they’re still working on things. She places her hand on her bump and I try to picture myself like that, but it’s hard.
I throw myself into work for the next few weeks. Training is so much harder than the written work I did at University, but I love it.
The ward sister is in her office and I tap on her door. She smiles at me and I step inside and hold out a letter. “I have an appointment in half an hour. Can I nip out for it? I’ll be really quick, I promise.”
She takes the letter and glances at it and smiles widely. “Congratulations,” she says. “Of course, you can. The twelve-week scan is important.” I nod weakly. I didn’t plan on telling anyone. I have a tiny bump, but I can hide it under baggier clothing. She seems so happy but I still feel so numb.
My mum insisted I have the scan before making any decisions and so as I make my way to the scan department, I take deep breaths and prepare myself to see this blob for the first time ever. As I round the corner, I freeze. Mum stands and next to her is Ryan. “What’s going on?” I ask.