Finding the Green Room (The Sutter Family Book 3)

by Heather D'Agostino

  “Come here.” He tugged at my arm to help me move farther onto the bed. Once we were both in the center, he climbed over me. “Are you sure about this?” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my jaw. “Don’t do this if you’re trying to prove something. I can wait for you, Jess. I’ve waited for years, a few more weeks won’t make a difference.”

  I nibbled on my lower lip as I let my eyes meet his. My head slowly nodded as I reached up and cupped his jaw. “I’m sure.” I smiled before letting one hand trail down his side. The skin was soft, and I could feel the outline of his muscles as they reacted to my touch.

  “I love you.” He smiled before leaning down to connect our mouths. It was then that he lowered his body on mine, and I could feel his weight. He let his hips settle against mine, and sighed when his skin met nothing but me. We’d fooled around before, but we’d never gotten naked. I remember touching his cock for the first time. He had to guide my hand, and tell me what to do. I was so nervous and afraid I’d do something wrong. He’d begged me that day to let him touch me. I’d thought that I wouldn’t like it, but Ryan knew what to do. He’d brought me pleasure back then, and he was doing it again tonight only this time I was going to let him finish. This time I was ready to take that last step.

  “Relax,” he murmured next to my ear as he used his knee to part my legs. “You gotta relax so I don’t hurt you.” His palm skimmed down my side, pausing at my hip. “Relax,” he whispered again as his fingers drifted over me. I tried, I really did, but the moment he touched me, I came alive. My body shook as a surge of euphoria rushed over me, and I arched into him. My breasts pushed against his chest, and he groaned as he added another finger. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured.

  “Don’t stop,” I panted. “Please don’t stop.” I was moving now, thrashing against him as he worked me over. He was everywhere. Kisses and nips at my neck and breasts, touches and caress down below. He was rock hard, and every time he would shift his weight I could feel him against my thigh.

  I attempted to bend so I could reach him, but he had my head so fogged up that I had a hard time voicing my wants. I burrowed my fist between us, and when I reached the velvet skin of his cock, I tentatively gripped it in my hand. “Fuck!” he groaned as he broke the kiss and lifted his eyes to meet mine. “I feel like I’ve been waiting to feel this again for so long. Tell me this is real. Tell me you’re really here, and I’m about to make love to you.” his eyes bore into mine.

  “I’m here,” I gasped as he turned his hand and did something that make a zing shoot through me. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” I smiled before I kissed his jaw. “Make love to me Ryan.” I moved my hands so I could cup his face in them. “Show me what I’ve been missing. I love you too.” I pulled his head to mine, and pressed my mouth to his. The kiss was slow and sweet. He shifted his weight as he abandoned his ministrations.

  “Give me a sec.” He pulled away and that’s when I saw him grab the condom he’d tossed on the night table. I watched as he deftly rolled it on before climbing back to me. “I’m gonna do my best to make this good for you, but it might hurt a little.”

  “I know.” I pressed my lips together.

  He positioned himself between my legs, and leaned in, giving me a slow languid kiss. He shifted his weight, pulled one of my thighs around his hip as he lined his cock up. “Relax,” he murmured one last time as he pushed forward. I could feel the slow stretching of my body as his hips pressed forward. He broke this kiss, and his eyes connected with mine. “I love you,” he gasped as he attempted to hold onto his control. “I’m sorry.” He looked pained, and I couldn’t figure out why until I felt it.

  His hips surged forward, and a pain shot through me. He paused as he let me get my bearings, and I felt a single tear drip from the corner of my eye. He leaned down and kissed it before murmuring softly his apology for hurting me. I knew it was something that always happened your first time, and I’m kinda glad Ryan was the one to do it. He’s known me forever, and it’s always seemed like he should be the one.

  “Are you ok?” he whispered. I nodded, and he pulled back before pushing forward once again. This time was different though. This time I felt a small tingle in my lower belly. Ryan groaned as he braced himself over me. “You feel so good.” The words rushed out. “So tight.” I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as I lifted my hips to meet his movements. I didn’t know what I was doing, but he seemed to like it, so I kept doing it. “I’m not going to last,” he muttered as his hips moved faster. He reached down and hooked his arm behind my knee, bending me in a way that allowed him to go deeper. My eyes fluttered closed as I whimpered. I couldn’t help it. It felt good, but a small amount of discomfort still lingered, preventing me from totally enjoying it. I didn’t want to alert Ryan to this, so I buried the feeling, but I knew I wasn’t going to get as much pleasure out of it as him.

  I scored my nails up his back as his hips moved faster. His face twisted as his muscles flexed. That small tingle stayed and spread throughout my body, but my orgasm wouldn’t surface. I’d heard that it was uncommon to actually have one your first time, but I’d had hope. Ryan’s hips began to lose control as his jaw ground together. “I can’t. I’m gonna come,” he panted as moved faster and faster. “It’ll be better next time,” he grunted as he paused after a final deep thrust. His entire body shook as he froze in position over me. His arm moved to release it’s hold on my leg, and he rolled so we were facing each other on our sides.

  “I promise. Next time will be better,” he murmured as he pulled me close. It was then that I felt the real pain. I ached down there, and it was throbbing slightly.

  “Ok.” I nodded as I clamped down on my lip. I wanted to go shower, but I also didn’t want to leave him. I was torn, between desire and need, and I also wasn’t sure what to do in the moment. What was he expecting from me? Would he stay the night? Was he done now? Did he mean what he said about this being the beginning or what?

  “What’s going on in there?” He tapped my forehead. “I can see the thoughts swirling around. What are you telling yourself?”

  “I’m just a little overwhelmed,” I mumbled as I continued to chew my lip.

  “That’s understandable. Are you really sore?” He kissed my forehead. This was my Ryan, the sweet one that I knew was buried under all the bravado. “Wanna get cleaned up?” His mouth curved up on one side.

  “That sounds nice, but you don’t have to stay.” I started to pull back, but he stopped me.

  “Why wouldn’t I want to stay?” His brow furrowed. “I’m not going anywhere.” He slipped from the bed, and reached for me. “Don’t look down,” he warned as I fumbled towards him and stood by the edge.

  I should have listened, but I didn’t. Everyone knows that when you tell someone not to do something, that’s the first thing they want to do. My eyes widen at the sight before me. I’d heard what to expect from my friends when I was in high school. They all thought Ryan and I were doing it back then. They were constantly trying to prepare. ‘It’s going to hurt. There’ll be blood. You’re going to be sore.’ I never put much stock into it until now.

  “I told you not to look.” He pulled me into a hug and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Come here.” He walked me into my bathroom, and turned on the shower.

  “What are you doing?” I glanced around.

  “Taking care of my girl.” He chuckled as he pushed the curtain back and checked the water temperature. “Come on.” He stepped in and held out his hand to me.

  I swallowed as I followed his lead. He was constantly surprising me lately, and this moment was just added to the list. Ryan Sutter wasn’t the playboy that he wanted everyone to believe he was. He was sweet and caring, and he made sure that I felt loved and safe that night. He kept his word when he said he wanted my first time to be special. It was special, and I know when I look back on this night what I’m gonna remember. It won’t be the awkwardness or the pain, or even the mess we’re cleaning up. It
’ll be the way cared for me, how he looked at me, and how he made me feel…special and protected. Ryan made sure that this night was something I’d want to remember, and I was going to make sure that there were more moments like this that were worth remembering.

  Chapter 20

  Jessica

  It’s been two weeks since Ryan and I became a couple again, and we’ve spent just about every minute together. We landed in Hawaii yesterday for The Pipe Masters, and are currently snuggled in my hotel room together. He went home and moved his stuff last week, and today is the first day we’ve had to just relax. At some point, I have to go practice, but for now I’m enjoying just being here.

  “Morning.” Ryan yawned as he rolled over and wrapped his arms around me.

  “Good morning.” I smiled as I brushed his hair back off his forehead. “How’d you sleep?” I felt bad for him. Ryan’s schedule was all messed up from the time difference of North Carolina and California, but now we were both suffering from jetlag.

  “Better with you here,” he mumbled as he pulled me closer to him and buried his nose in my neck. His scruff tickled, and as I squirmed against him I could feel his morning erection. “Ignore him.” He chuckled. “He doesn’t understand that he can’t always have his way.”

  I glanced over at the clock on the night table before turning back to him, “I’ve got time. The fan meet-n-greet isn’t for a couple more hours.”

  “Oh you do, do you?” He chuckled before skimming his hand down my side causing me to squirm.

  “Mmm hmmm.” I giggled. We hadn’t had sex since that first time, and I knew that it would be different now. There wouldn’t be pain, and I’d hoped that Ryan wouldn’t treat me like I’d break. I wanted to know what it was like to truly be with him.

  “How about you win first, and then I’ll reward you.” His eyes filled with mischief as he laughed at me.

  “I have to win?” I scoffed. “Do you have any idea how hard that’s going to be?”

  “You can do it.” He squeezed me in a tight hug. “I have faith. Let’s go practice. The waves have got to be stacked today.” He rocked forward and sat on the edge of the bed.

  “Fine.” I sighed, a little defeated. I watched as Ryan padded across the room to our bags. He grabbed a pair of boardshorts before tossing me a suit and shuffling into the bathroom. I guess the other stuff would have to wait.

  ooooooooo

  When we got out to the beach, I saw that Ryan was right. The waves were perfect, well as perfect as I’d ever seen. They were opening in sets of four, and there was plenty of room. The crowd was mostly guys, but that had never stopped me before. I knew that come tomorrow, I’d be surrounded by a select few when it came to the girls. Girls didn’t really surf pipe. Only the best of the best got invited here, and you either knew what you were doing, or you had a death wish.

  “Wow.” Ryan sighed as we stood there watching a few surfers paddle out. They were barely hanging onto their boards, and I wondered how bad the undertow was today. “It looks pretty heavy out there.”

  “And you want me to win tomorrow.” I rolled my eyes as I shook my head at him. “You see what I mean by getting worked, Ry?”

  “I’ve never known you to back down.” He grinned at me. “You giving up now?”

  “Never.” I shook my head as I marched toward the water, board locked under my arm. When a wave crashed on the beach, swirling around my feet, I took off in a jog. I was determined to not let anything stop me, and conquering Pipe was at the top of my list.

  “Wait up!” Ryan shouted as he ran after me, but I didn’t slow down. I knew that if I gave myself even two seconds to think about what I was doing, I might give up.

  ooooooooo

  Ryan

  She’s always been headstrong, and now was no different. Jess was paddling like her life depended on it, and I couldn’t catch up to her for anything. I watched her back as she duck dove under the breakers and made her way out to where a small group of surfers had congregated. It was mostly guys, and I couldn’t help the jealousy that surged through me when they stared at her. She was mine, and I wanted them to know that.

  As soon as I was able to reach the perfect spot to wait on a wave, I watched Jess turn and begin to charge. I thought for sure she had to be out of her mind. It was crazy out here, and the more I watched the waves break, the more I thought I must be nuts. “Jess!” I shouted. I knew I should trust her, but something told me this was a bad idea. She didn’t hear me, and when she started to stand, I craned my neck to watch her. The wave was opening perfectly as she took the drop, but she wasn’t positioned correctly. Her arms failed as she toppled forward and was swallowed up in the crash.

  Her board flipped in the air and landed on the surface, indicating she was somewhere below the water tumbling around. I waited a few seconds when the wave started to settle, but as soon as Jess popped up the next wave in the set crashed. She ducked back down as the water foamed, and stayed down for what seemed like minutes. When she surfaced a second time, she was a few feet away. She coughed as she grabbed her board and pulled herself up. I saw the fear in her eyes, but she hid it fast as she paddled back in my direction.

  “Maybe you should take a break.” I was concerned by how winded she seemed, but she shook me off.

  “I didn’t get this invite by being the girl that gave up after a fall. I need to go again,” she snapped as she turned herself back into position.

  “Jess, just give yourself a minute to recover,” I begged as she began paddling.

  “I’m fine!” she shouted as another set began opening up.

  As I watched her charge again, I gritted my teeth. She was going to kill herself here. I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to encourage her to do this, never mind land an aerial or anything else. The wave opened better than the last, but based on her position it looked like she was going to make the same mistake again. I didn’t even realize I was so tense until the edge of my board started biting into my legs.

  “Oh man!” one of the guys nearby groaned as the wave crashed. I looked up just in time to see Jess go under once again, only this time she didn’t come up as fast.

  My eyes began to search frantically as I held my breath, searching the water. The waves continued to break, making it even harder to see anything in the white foam. “Jess?” I shouted as I paddled to the side. I wanted to get past where the waves were breaking so I wouldn’t get pulled into where she was. I didn’t want to be in the way either. “Jess!” I shouted again. Still she didn’t surface. A couple of the other surfers saw my panic and attempted to help me, but the water was getting rougher. Waves were crashing faster, and no one on the beach was wiser to what was happening.

  I watched in horror as I spotted her board tumbling toward the beach. The leash was trailing behind it, and it tumbled through the swallows as it finally came to a stop on the sand. “Jess!” I paddled frantically toward the shallows. As soon as my feet hit the sand, I rushed over and grabbed her board. I searched the water, but couldn’t see anything. She hadn’t surfaced yet, and as the seconds passed I knew that it had been too long. Even the best free divers couldn’t last this long. Then you add in the fact that the waves are pounding her body against the reef… Jess didn’t stand a chance. I realized as I stood there paralyzed in fear, that I might have come all this way to lose her again.

  “Call 911!” someone shouted. It sounded far away, but I jumped into action when they ran past me and slapped me on my shoulder. “Dude! Call an ambulance!” He motioned like I was an idiot. When I snapped back to the present, I went into full on panic mode. I rushed over to our things on the beach, and fumbled to find my phone. When my fingers wrapped around it, my lifeguard training finally kicked in. I’d never had to do a rescue on someone I cared about, but I was going to have to help. Jess was lying at the feet of the guy who’d ordered me to call an ambulance, and she wasn’t moving.

  A small crowd was gathered around her, and I pushed them aside as I knelt beside her. �
��Jess?” I tapped her shoulder and checked for a pulse. “Can you hear me?” Again there was no movement. I tilted her head back, pinched her nose, and leaned down to start CPR. Training overtook me as I went through the motions and forgot about the fact that this was Jess. Saving her life was all that mattered, and getting her to breathe was the first step. I could hear the sirens in the distance at this point, but I didn’t stop. She still wasn’t breathing, and I wasn’t giving up. Surfing may be Jess’s life, but saving swimmers was mine.

  “Come on Jess, breathe!” I shouted as I went through another set of chest compressions. She began to sputter at that moment, and I turned her head to the side so she could cough the water out. “Easy baby.” I gasped from being out of breath and the adrenaline rush starting the crash. “You’re ok,” I soothed as I ran my hands down her face, pushing the wet strands back.

  “Ry?” her eyes moved around, taking in her surroundings.

  “You’re ok. You wiped out,” I continued to soothe her.

  “Ry?” I saw the panic begin, and I shushed her, knowing that nothing was stopping me from taking her to the hospital to get checked out.

  “It’s ok. Relax.” I moved so I could sit and hold her hand. At this point, the paramedics were rushing down the beach with a backboard in their hands.

  “It’s not ok.” Her eyes went wide. “Ryan! Ryan!” She started screaming and panting as if she were beginning to have a panic attack.

  “I’m here.” I squeezed her hand. “Ryan.” Her eyes darted down to where our hands were entwined. “I can’t feel that,” she cried.

  “What?” I was completely lost, and thought I heard her wrong.

  “I can’t feel anything. I can’t… I can’t…” She began breathing hard and I tried with no luck to calm her. At this point the paramedics had reached us, and as they slipped the c-collar on her and rolled her onto the backboard, I prayed that the girl I’ve loved most of my life hadn’t just lost the love of hers. Surfing wasn’t a part of Jess, it was Jess, and if she lost that, then she was going to lose herself.