Cause and Affection

by Sheryl Wright

  “They’re perfect, you’re perfect.”

  Madeleine nodded, unwilling to trust her voice. She unzipped her slacks and allowed Kara to pull them off. For a moment she braced for that inevitable disappointment the first time getting naked with someone. Suitably dressed in heels and makeup, there was no denying her beauty and grace. But in bed, naked, she believed she was just a skinny, awkward, flat-chested girl guaranteed to disappoint. Kara, it seemed, harbored no disappointment. If anything, the hitch in her breathing and a slight tremor in her hand were all signs this would be different…

  With an almost feral grin, and one hand still wrapped in the ice filled towel, Kara stepped between her legs again. Lifting her chin, she delivered an almost chaste kiss. “I want you so badly but I don’t want to rush. Will you promise me something?”

  Madeleine nodded, not trusting her voice.

  “Don’t do anything to please me. I mean, I know you will. It’s not like that. It’s just…”

  “It’s just that I’m straight and straight women have a habit of working hard to please their partners who rarely understand the concept of doing the same.” At Kara’s nod, she slid back on the bed, then pulled her to join her.

  Instead of lying down beside her, Kara moved like a predator, over her and on top of her. She imagined it would feel strange or uneven to have the shorter woman on her. Yet, the immediate feel was overwhelming, soft, encompassing and oh so fitting. The feel of her thigh sliding up between her legs, her lips tracing her neck and working toward her mouth was almost her undoing. “Oh God Kara. How is it you just feel so perfect?”

  Kara’s head lifted, their eyes connecting. “You fit me.” It was said with such simplicity and sincerity. “I want you to feel and do everything you want but first, I want you.”

  Madeleine wouldn’t argue but she did want to run her hands through her hair. Grabbing her face, she promised, “You can have everything but I have to touch you too. I need to connect.” That seemed to be the right thing to say, judging by the searing kiss Kara delivered and the roll of her hips that followed. For a moment she considered just drifting away to her happy place and letting her continue as she pleased and at that moment she realized that was how she had always coped with sex. Except, for the first time ever, she didn’t want to cope. She wanted to revel with Kara, together.

  She let herself feel everything as Kara’s mouth migrated to her chest. No one had ever spent so much attention there. The pleasure was unexpected. As Kara teased and laved her nipples, she found her own hips answering in kind. “God!” It just popped out. “I want you inside!” The thought, the words, her verbalized need were all new. The best part was Kara’s own verbal cues. She wasn’t a talker so much as simply letting every sensation escape as moans of pleasure.

  Kara warned her. “I’m not so good with my left hand,” and said no more. Madeleine’s thigh slithered up Kara’s body almost of its own accord. Looking down she could see the glistening sheen Kara had left there. “Are you wet?” It just slipped out. It was as if she had no filter and a part of her knew she didn’t need one.

  Kara just groaned. She wanted to wrap both legs around Kara but the thought of losing the feel of her thigh against her warmth, her need, was beyond her thinking. Kara’s hand was between her legs. Her fingers tracing a painstakingly slow path between wet lips. She didn’t aim for her clit or make the mistake of past lovers thinking it was some sort of switch. Instead she teased, tracing around, playing with her touch, her pressure, skirting back and forth between her opening and her every wet inch.

  Madeleine broke breathless from her kiss, rocking her hips and begging, “Honey please, please…”

  In response, Kara teased gently, “Please? Tell me.”

  “Please,” she half moaned, half begged. “I want you inside, I mean right there, I… I don’t know what I want,” she gasped, rocking her hips, the need overwhelming. “I feel like I need you everywhere.”

  The long pleasing moan she heard in return did nothing to ease her crushing desire. Before she could beg again, fingers one by one slid into her while a thumb pushed up along her swollen flesh to rest against her clit, delivering the most pleasure that she had ever experienced there. It wasn’t all. Kara’s mouth had migrated back to her breast. Then there were her fingers, buried deep inside. Instead of pumping in and out, they were gentler, curling and enticing an all new type of pleasure. Her back arched, her hips bucking for more contact, more Kara. If the sensations of her touch were overwhelming, the orgasm that broke was her complete undoing. “Oh my God. Honey. Baby. Kara!” She couldn’t think, couldn’t form a coherent thought. Had that ever happened before? She’d had orgasms, hadn’t she? If she had, why hadn’t they made her brain melt like this? And her body too. It was as if Kara knew some secret about her body, her pleasure, she had never discovered herself. She wanted to talk, ask questions, or maybe just touch her. Yes, she wanted to touch Kara. She wanted to deliver the same pleasure she had received. Could she? Before she could consider how to do that, she felt Kara slipping away. No! Please, she wanted to beg. She was used to men rolling over once they were satisfied but she never expected that from…

  Kara wasn’t leaving her. If anything, it was the opposite. She wanted to argue, tell her it was her time but her brain still hadn’t returned her ability to articulate her thoughts. Other than moans and inarticulate words and phrases. “Oh!” She had moved down her body. Lavishing her breasts again before moving lower, much lower. She was between her legs. Her tongue tracing the path her fingers had established. And those talented fingers were back inside her, resuming their slow motion, curling and pressing some spot she never knew existed. “Oh my God, honey! Oh God!”

  Kara’s tongue had found her clit but instead of latching on or flicking at it the way the few guys who had tried this had, she knew exactly what she was doing. She teased all around, licking at a pressure point along the side she never even knew existed. The effort drove her hips up and it was all she could do not to crush her head between her thighs. Words, sounds, and incoherent noises escaped her mouth and without thinking her own hands latched onto her own breasts, pinching her nipples and copying what Kara had done. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t experienced in pleasing herself but like her male lovers, she had learned to ignore her breasts. No more. “Fuck!” Her orgasm was so close and so, so not like anything she expected or experienced. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, honey! Oh my Godddd!” She was bucking so hard she couldn’t believe Kara could hang on. Her towel-wrapped hand had migrated to her belly, her strong arm the only thing keeping them on the bed. Her head swam, all thoughts long gone. It was only them, this thing, Kara. Her orgasm broke, she felt something release, maybe it was everything, as if the entire world had disappeared. She reached down for Kara, desperate to have her in her arms, close, tight, holding her, keeping her from completely falling apart. The involuntary tears that followed were so unexpected and so unlike her. She couldn’t understand it and wouldn’t try.

  Kara was holding her, soothing her. “I’m right here. I won’t let go. You’re safe, you’re perfect, you. Oh Madeleine. Don’t hold back. Let it out. I’m right here.”

  Wiping at her eyes, she imagined she should feel embarrassed but Kara was so kind, so understanding, “You’re not…”

  She smothered her mouth with a gentle warm kiss before saying, “You are absolutely amazing.”

  Her warm kisses had migrated to her cheek then her lips seemed to rest there as she continued to hold her, soothe her. Kara gave her time to come down, time for her mind to digest what had just happened. Time. They were each clinging to one another, arms and legs completely intertwined. It had never been like this and something inside her, something that recognized her need, desire, snapped. She carefully rolled Kara on her back. She wanted her like she never wanted anyone before. “I need you,” she said, staring deeply in her eyes. The openness and the acceptance she saw there was more than rewarding but it was the need she truly recognized. “And now I’m go
ing to show you how much.”

  Chapter Eight

  Joanne had started her day at the break of dawn. First breakfasting with her sister-in-law to be sure all the legalities of Kara and their father’s disagreement were settled, then racing to see her father who had been forced to spend the night under observation at the hospital. She had been worried about that, but Samantha had assured her it was more about the hospital avoiding malpractice suits and cashing in on the generous Ontario Health Insurance Plan than any worries for his recovery. Now, standing in the center of Madeleine’s suite, she was pleased to see it jammed with racks of clothing and a myriad of accoutrements associated with putting on a show. That was comforting. It meant this woman really was what they said she was and hadn’t been planning on jumping her sister’s bones. The situation was bad enough without adding that mess to the mix. “I’m so sorry. I know he can be an ass, but he doesn’t mean anything…”

  “Really?” Madeleine’s harsh reaction was unmistakable. She’d known plenty of women like Joanne. Little mice who scurried from the heel of their men. “Don’t you dare come in here and make excuses.”

  “Please,” Jo begged. “I’m so sorry. Please, please, I’ll get him to apologize. I promise.”

  “You are not his mother. For God’s sake, woman, please tell me you don’t put up with that kind of crap all the time.”

  Collapsing in a nearby upholstered chair, Joanne looked like she wanted to explain, but her face said everything. Her father was a misogynist SOB, and there was no changing that. “He’s not like that when it’s just me. I…I don’t know why he’s always such an ass with Kara. Sorry. I…are you going to quit?”

  “Quit?” For a moment Madeleine had forgotten this was an acting job and not actually her life. This wasn’t her problem, and suddenly she could see just how horrible it must be for Kara to try and work with the man. At least she herself had escaped her family’s harsh criticism and to be honest, it had never been too bad. “Why does she put up with it?”

  Joanne colored.

  Instinctively understanding that this was going to be a tough conversation, Madeleine hit the minibar, pouring them each a drink. Taking a seat on the couch, she waited patiently for the woman to answer. Maybe this was off script, but for the amount of money they were paying, she figured she could at least listen.

  “I guess my sister has already told you all about it.”

  “No actually, she hasn’t said a thing about your family. She did mention intending to carry through with her resignation. But that wasn’t until I told her I was looking for a job with a lot less travel and I was thinking of relocating. She said she was too, explaining she wanted out of the family company. She believes it’s the only way to prove she is any good at her job. Now I kind of understand why.”

  “My father has always treated me like a princess. It’s obvious, I’m the youngest—I guess that qualifies me to always be his little girl. Kara’s the oldest. I think he was disappointed when she was born, he wanted a son. According to my mom, he was loving but disinterested. Dougie came along a year later, and Mom says he immediately started acting like Dougie was actually the first born and a friggin’ genius. As Kara and Dougie got bigger, it was always a competition. I think Kara got especially supercompetitive just to get my dad’s attention. Still, Doug could do no wrong, and Kara was, well, she just made Doug look like a slacker. Which, to be honest, he is.”

  At Madeleine’s incredulous look she defended her opinion. “It’s not a secret. Even Dougie will tell you the same thing. See, he’s never had to work at anything. Well, he tried in the beginning but he isn’t Kara, and the comparisons were hard on him. Dad too, I mean he was hard on Doug too. We did internships every summer. Well, they both did. I just kind of trailed my dad around when I was old enough. I liked to pretend I was his secretary, but Kara worked every department, even custodial. I guess the difference was, she wanted it, and Doug could care less. I’m sure he’d have walked away by now, but Dad still has control of his trust fund.”

  “Is that how he controls your brother?” At Joanne’s embarrassed nod, she asked more pointedly, “What about you, Jo? You don’t seem like the kind of woman who would play that game.”

  “I…” She stalled, and finally, uncomfortably admitted, “I received control of mine when I got married. Actually, Dad was going to give Zack, my husband, control of my trust but the law wouldn’t let him. Plus, my grandmother, mother, and even Kara threw up a huge fuss. So he sent me on an investing course. That was good. I mean it gave me some confidence.”

  “What about your husband? How did his ego take that?”

  “He surprised me. He was so relieved. He said he knew the money would come with the marriage but he figured the worst part would be sending the kids off to some snooty private school. Managing his wife’s money was downright Edwardian.”

  Madeleine was contemplative, considering everything Jo had shared.

  “If you’re wondering, Kara got control of her trust when she was nineteen. Eleven years before Doug was supposed to get his.”

  “I don’t want to snoop into Kara’s private life, but I’m intrigued that she managed it with your father involved.”

  “Does that coffee maker work?”

  Confused by the change in subject, Madeleine had to turn and look to where Joanne was pointing. “Ah yes. I think so. Is that what you want, coffee?”

  “Oh I’ll get it,” Jo offered casually, as casually as if the suite were her own home. “Let me make us some decent coffee before we go on.” She continued as she moved to the bar area, “I love my sister, but she does this thing where she can see things no one else can. I mean she gets so excited it’s hard to understand everything she sees, and forget trying to slow her down. Anyway. When she started university she had this idea she would join the militia, you know, in case she ever wanted to run for office.”

  “Join a militia? I would think that would be the last thing any politician wanted on their record. I can’t even imagine what a liberal lesbian would be doing in an anti-government—”

  “No, no, no! It’s not like that at home. Umm, what would you call it here?” She hemmed and finally came up with, “Oh yeah, like the National Guard. That’s what it is, kinda. Anyway, she was going to join. So I went with her to find out about it.” She turned and smiled at Madeleine’s raised eyebrows. “Okay, so I was only eight, but she had to babysit me and I was a brat, so I got to go everywhere with her. Anyway, after talking with some guy and watching them march around the armoury…you do have armouries, don’t you?”

  “Yes, of course. Did she join?”

  “No, not that one. Instead, we went to Fort York a week later, and she joined the Communications Reserve. It was right up her alley, but that wasn’t the point. When we were wandering around Moss Park Armoury, she spotted this old building for sale just around the back. It looked like it was going to fall down and all the corner bricks were broken. And when I say old, I mean something from Victorian times. Something just waiting for the wrecking ball but she could see what no one else did. We went to the city archives, then a special map room in the original York Town Hall. I didn’t even know we had a Town Hall from when the city was named York, or that it was a hundred years older than Old City Hall. Then she took me to Ottawa. That was my first big girl trip. No parents, no nanny, just Kara and me. How do you like your coffee?”

  Caught trying to imagine what a young Kara was like, she answered, “I’m good with black.”

  “You and Kara, I swear… Anyway. We went to Ottawa and she found what she was looking for in the National Archives. Turned out the old building used to be the Queen’s Printers for the Dominion. It’s carved into a stone lintel above the horse carriage gate. I never noticed it, but she did. So we came home, she took all the old plans and history of the building to my dad. She wanted to buy it and turn it into lofts.”

  Madeleine accepted the coffee from Joanne. By her old entertainer schedule it was still extremely early,
before noon. The smell of the fresh brew was energizing. Joanne was energizing too, sitting with her and gabbing away about her sister and their life. It was nice in a way. She couldn’t honestly remember the last time she’d sat and gabbed with a friend. “I can’t imagine what your father thought.”

  “Oh, he was an ass, wouldn’t hear of it. Even I can admit that. But Kara was determined. She drew out the plans and costed it out herself. It took most of the summer. I don’t know how many trips we made out to Scarborough, to the old Lansing Build-All company so she could talk to the old guys there, ask about materials and comparisons in construction techniques. God, it would bore me, but she let me run around the store. I’d spend all my time out in the garden center picking out flowers and plants, even the patio furniture for my dream home. The difference between Kara and me is, what I dream, she can make. It took me a long time to realize that, but I must say that summer was so much fun. We visited stone yards and glazing manufacturers. We talked with the city engineer and the local heritage council. Well, Kara talked with them all, I just nosed around or played Ms. Pac-Man on my Gameboy. Anyway, at the end of the summer, she presented the whole thing, with costings and income projections, even the sign-offs from the city but…”

  “But your father said no.”

  “Actually, she skipped him and went right to our grandparents, and they said yes, but with your father’s approval and oversight. When he said no, my mother stepped in and promised to help. That just made it worse. Anyway, school started, and a big developer made a play for the building.”

  “That must have been crushing for her, after all that work.”