Cause and Affection

by Sheryl Wright

  * * *

  Kara was sprawled on the rooftop daybed half reclined and on her side. She’d been trying to read, sporadically, but it was hard to concentrate. Between the heat of the day, her discomfort, and her visiting niece, she couldn’t get interested in the stack of reading materials she had requested. Beside her, and slightly resembling a starfish, her three-year-old niece was sprawled. The little tyke had managed to get herself rolled around to rest one foot in Kara’s ribs and the other on her thigh. Her arms were spread wide, her head hung half off the daybed, her mouth open, baby snores emanating. In a way, it soothed Kara. Watching her little niece snooze reminded her of everything right in the world.

  She heard Madeleine before she saw her. That was not actually correct. Samantha, who’d been sitting in a nearby lounge chair and reading from some heavy legal tome, snapped her book closed and set it aside. That was all the warning she got before her mother and her sister intruded on their serenity. She watched as they emerged from the stairwell. This time she wasn’t surprised by Madeleine’s appearance. If anything, she was thrilled to see her here. Before she could decide what that meant, the little starfish beside her began to cry. Awakened by the storm of noise heading toward her, her sobs were a natural result of her confusion.

  “Abigail. Don’t cry. Mommy’s here,” Joanne said, before continuing her verbal assault on the actions of their male family members. “Can you believe those guys? Men! I swear, any excuse to plant themselves in front of the TV and drink beer. Even Harjitt couldn’t wait to join them. And to watch a stupid soccer game? Can you believe that?” she asked again, clutching the sniveling toddler to her chest.

  “Are they watching the women’s game?” Kara asked, looking very much like she was ready to jump up and join them.

  “Oh no you don’t, young lady,” her mother warned while giving her the stink eye, a look all children recognized.

  Madeleine, who had been silent until this moment began to laugh. “Oh my God. My mother still pulls that one on me too.”

  Busted for the mother-daughter showdown, Kara laughed too. “How do you like that, Mom? Sounds like we’re typical.”

  Marsha Wexler placed herself on the edge of the daybed, assuming the spot warmed by the starfish. “You, my child, may be called many things, but typical is not one.” She took both of Kara’s hands in one of hers, her other hand she placed on Kara’s forehead as if she were a sick child.

  Kara shook it off, “Mom! Cut it out. I’m not sick already.”

  Marsha ruffled her hair, then stood, “All right, children, let’s leave the girls alone. Joanne, you can help me get dinner on,” she ordered. As they disappeared, they could hear Marsha quizzing Samantha on her and Doug’s schedule for the week.

  Kara, still sprawled on the daybed, was having trouble sitting up; when Madeleine offered her hand, she stalled, remembering. She’d noticed that hand before. Long slender fingers connected to a soft, welcoming palm. She followed the line of Madeleine’s elegant slender arm to her square shoulders. Her collarbone, inviting, just poking from the neckline of her loose T. If that hadn’t done Kara in, certainly that long elegant neck and Madeleine’s moss green eyes did. Her skin was so like porcelain, lightly freckled all around the frame of her brassy red hair. Finally, accepting the hand, Kara allowed Madeleine to pull her into a sitting position. It was a relief. “The physio says I can get up and even walk a bit, but I can’t spend much time on my feet. At least not until the swelling goes down.”

  It seemed a stupid announcement to make; after all, Madeleine had been present for everything. But she was nervous and a little concerned by her mother’s need to give them privacy.

  Madeleine took a seat beside her but remained quiet, almost withdrawn.

  As they sat, the silence between them began to build, and she worried. Initially, she’d been confused by Madeleine’s presence, even wondering if she’d simply dreamed her into form. She’d been stubborn about her fears and her feelings. “I thought I imagined you. At least I did until the shower.”

  “Please tell me you’re okay…about everything. I mean, me coming here and helping you…and the shower?”

  “Why are you here?” Kara asked, her tone harsher than she intended. The question seemed to land like a ton of bricks. She hadn’t intended to hurt her. She felt terrible and relieved at the same time. Wanting to soften her stance but needing Madeleine to hear the truth, she asked, “Did I ask you to come here?”

  Madeleine’s head was down. She looked to be examining her hands. Finally, she said, “You asked for help. I called Joanne. It was the only number I could remember. She challenged me to prove I care.”

  Kara contemplated what that conversation would have sounded like. She knew her baby sister could be persuasive. “Did she ask or tell?”

  “Kara, she challenged me. She didn’t ask me to come, she just asked if I cared. And in case you don’t believe me, I do care very much…” As tears looked to threaten, she said, “I know you don’t want me here. That’s okay. I get it, but since I’m here all I can ask is that you listen and ask questions too. I don’t want to leave thinking you don’t know everything or…how I feel.”

  “What’s to know? My misguided siblings contracted a fantasy company to craft a mood for me and get my motor running. Congratulations. You did it. Brava!”

  “Kara, please. I never meant to hurt you.”

  “Hurt me? You broke my heart!”

  “Broke your heart? You stole mine then flew away!”

  That statement stopped her dead. She hadn’t meant to get upset much less confrontational. Now Madeleine had the nerve to compare her feelings to Kara’s distress? “Stole your heart? Oh yeah? You broke my heart into a million pieces!”

  “I did. I know. What about you? You stole my heart and dragged it to a foreign nation and forced me to come after you!”

  “Forced you!” Kara was trying to stand, but when Madeleine refused to assist her, she fell back. “Ow! You, you… I didn’t steal your heart. I…I thought I found it.”

  That revelation forced her and Madeleine into a strange silence. Finally, she admitted, “I’m having a hard time believing you would want to be here. Why did you come?”

  Madeleine sighed. She looked to be expecting this question. “The same reason I called on Saturday even though the contract your sister-in-law had me sign specifically assigned great threats if I ever did. Technically, you could sue me just for calling you. Who knows what your legal system could do to me for showing up?”

  Kara harrumphed her reply before retorting, “This is Canada. We don’t sue. And as far as our justice system goes, they’d probably sentence you to hard years finishing university or some such shit. Either way, I lose.”

  “How so?”

  Kara was quiet for so long Madeleine reached out, taking her hand. “How so, honey? Would you miss me?”

  “I miss you now,” she roared, jerking her hand away. “How the fuck do you expect me to cope with you popping in and out of my life? For all I know this is some sort of courtesy call. Some contingency in the contract with those stupid twerps I’m related to!”

  “Kara Wexler! You’re behaving like a spoiled brat. How the hell do you expect me to have an actual conversation with you?”

  “You forgot the Delphine,” she grumbled sarcastically.

  “The what?” Madeleine was so steamed she was on her feet.

  “Delphine! I know! It’s my stupid middle name and if you’re going to yell at me you’re supposed to include it too.” She crossed her arms and assumed a pout. Only the spark in her eye gave away her amusement.

  “Oh, so that’s how it is?” Madeleine too was grinning as she sat back down. She caught on fast. “So I’m supposed to pronounce ‘Kara Delphine Wexler,’ before I bawl you out? Good to know. What else should I know about arguing with you? Are you supposed to win all the time? That doesn’t sound like very much fun.”

  “It is for me.” Finally Madeleine smiled, and Kara asked without
rancor, “Why did it take you a week to call? I mean, if you cared…”

  “Honey, I do care, more than I can possibly understand but I did sign a contract, and I was sure you’d never forgive me. Can you forgive me?”

  The question sat between them for so long it looked like Madeleine might cry. Offering her hand, Kara allowed, “I’m not sure there’s anything to forgive. Technically, you did your job, followed the script and obeyed the contract. Well, for a week you did. The only question is whether you’re feeling…did you feel…”

  “Yes! Yes, I felt it all. I felt the rush of dancing with you, the joy of talking with you and making love was…was never like that. Never like you.”

  Kara closed her eyes and sighed with relief, brought Madeleine’s hand her to lips, kissing her knuckles. When she realized what she was doing, her eyes popped open in surprise—just in time to catch a look of relief crossing Madeleine’s face. “I… Should we… This is so weird. I want to say we need to get to know each other, but we do, kinda’, don’t you think?”

  “We’ve made love twice. I can’t think of two more honest conversations. But you’re right, intimacy does not mean we know what we’re doing or what each of us wants. I see your worry, Kara, and I do understand how dubious you are about me. Not all the things we shared were honest, but almost everything was. I think if I were you, I would need to know the difference or I couldn’t trust my feelings—or much of anything for that matter.”

  She nodded. What else was there to do? Madeleine was right. She couldn’t be sure what was the truth and what had been pure fiction. “Tell me?”

  Madeleine smiled, seemingly reassured. She moved in closer, getting comfortable while never withdrawing her hand from Kara’s. “Let me tell you a story I think you’ll like. It’s about a humble girl from Minnesota who finds herself falling for her costar in a Vegas adaptation. What would be a good movie simile? And please, it’s not going to be a Pretty Woman remake.”

  “Naw, I was thinking more American Gigolo.”

  “Oh touché! Except I’ve never seen that one so I’ll just wing it.”

  “Will there be singing? I like singing.”

  Madeleine leaned in even closer, offering a sweet peck before promising, “For you, there will always be singing, and if you’re really nice, I’ll throw in a dance or two. That is, after you’re back on your feet.”

  Kara smiled, really smiled for the first time in days, the first time since winning the board vote. “Okay, I’m listening.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Kara had endured a full morning in the office. Once she was sure the new teams were progressing and the office humming, Harjitt had driven her home and helped her, along with Madeleine, up to the rooftop terrace and the comfy daybed. The nurse had made her last home visit and left instructions on her care and a warning to get herself to her doctor if she didn’t improve on schedule. The physio would still come daily but lucky for them that wasn’t scheduled until late afternoon. Right now they had time to enjoy lunch and talk a little more.

  Franco had called Madeleine that morning with a hot lead. Technically, he wasn’t her manager anymore but if he hooked her up, it would earn him a nice finder’s fee and the gig he was offering was definitely worth considering. Except it wasn’t in Toronto. It wasn’t even in Minneapolis. He had a line on a production almost ready for rehearsals. The show, called Fever, was scheduled to open on the Thanksgiving Day weekend. The best part was the role. He had kept his promise. The producers had been in Vegas looking for the quintessential Vegas choreographer. They wanted someone fresh but with years of experience in the Las Vegas entertainment scene, and they wanted her.

  Kara sat quietly, listening to her explain the opportunity. They had talked all Sunday night. Talking, really talking, but it wasn’t until this precise moment that Kara could admit she wanted Madeleine, wanted her to stay and understood that what she felt, what she had berated herself for, was exactly what she had in common with this woman. “So you’re leaving?”

  “Yes, no, wait. How…”

  “This isn’t New York, but there are opportunities here too. Surely my mom and Jo promised to share their connections. Wait. They aren’t—”

  Madeleine placed a hand on her knee. “Everything is fine. Your mother—well, your whole family—have been warm and welcoming.”

  “But you want to leave?” She tried to keep her voice level and without a hint of strain but the thought of Madeleine leaving without giving them a chance…

  “Kara, please listen,” Madeleine begged. “Franco just called me. He has a line on a choreography gig. A big musical being staged for New York. This would be a huge break for me.”

  “New York?”

  “Uh-huh. I know. Can we talk about it, about everything?”

  Kara nodded. “I’m not mad. Not anymore, but I am confused and, well…can we dispense with the beating around the bush?”

  “I… Okay.”

  Taking a deep breath, Kara confessed, “I have feelings for you. When I asked myself why I was so mad, so upset, I had to admit I’d fallen for you. I know part of that is a result of how the damned thing was scripted but now you’re sitting here and I want to believe it’s because you feel something too.”

  It seemed like they might be on the road to repeating last night’s entire conversation when Kara became quiet.

  Madeleine told her, “When I finally broke down and called I had all these things I wanted to discuss, all these things I wanted to ask, then I heard your voice. You were in pain. You needed help, and all I could think about was how fast I could get here. Still, I had a lot of concerns. Then you needed help in the shower. I was watching you, watching your face and your panic at the thought of Samantha and Marsha bathing you. You are so proud and so strong, even when you’re at your most vulnerable. If that didn’t seal it, holding you in my arms… I know I love you desperately.”

  “You do? I mean…how do you know?”

  “Kara, this is the part where you tell me how you feel.”

  She nodded, finally making eye contact. “I… You. I fell for you the first time we met. I just don’t know if what I feel is for the real you, or the character you played.”

  “The love we shared, that was all me. The real me. I wish I could go back and change it all, tell you everything at the time, but in a way it’s what we both needed.” At Kara’s upraised eyebrows, she challenged, “Be honest. If our introduction hadn’t been arranged, would you have asked me out? Holy hell girl, even if you did, there’s little chance I would have accepted. It just never would have occurred to me. No matter how misguided your siblings might have been, I will always be indebted to them for bringing us together. I don’t know what you want, or if you want to pursue what we’ve discovered, but I do. And yes, I do love you; the real and stubborn Kara Delphine Wexler.”

  Kara took the hand resting on her knee, holding it in both of hers and kissing the knuckles one at a time. Finally, she admitted. “I haven’t had a lot of experience with this whole relationship thing.”

  Madeleine leaned in, offering a quick peck to her cheek. “Luckily for you, I have a ton of experience with relationships, all bad. I think it’s become my superpower, you know, smelling bad relationships at a distance.”

  “And how does this one smell so far?”

  “I’m happy to report the most beautiful scent surrounds me.” This she said up close and the words made Kara smile, and she smiled too. “I know taking a job in New York sounds like I’m moving on, but if I take the job, if I get it, it’s only for three months. Your mom says it’s only an hour flight. You could pop down on weekends, or I could come see you. The good part is that it will give us time to get to know one another. Please don’t laugh but I had this vision of us writing letters and sharing our thoughts and hearts on everything. Sort of like characters in a Jane Austen novel. I know it’s silly…”

  “I like it,” Kara allowed. “I’ll admit I was sitting here trying to figure things out, how to
go slow and at the same time get serious enough to get you Landed. I guess Joanne warned you I can be a bit of a plotter.”

  “Trotter more like but I get the simile.” She smiled. “Your mother did wax on about getting Landed. She didn’t think it was an issue, but of course I get she’s trying to encourage me.”

  “I get that too. Just so you know. She isn’t like that with everyone. Actually, she’s never taken an interest in anyone I’ve dated. It’s nice…kind of weird, but nice. Anyway, Samantha spent an hour today explaining all the ins and outs of the immigration system. It won’t be a problem getting you landed so don’t worry about it. When the time comes, please let Samantha handle it. The process is quite easy, but it’s a one-strike system. Get anything wrong, and they turn you down on the spot and you can’t apply again. Maybe that’s why we haven’t got the kind of immigration backlog you guys have,” she postulated, her mind wandering to the vagaries of their differing national policies.

  “Kara,” Madeleine said quietly, recognizing that Kara was on a tangent and knowing from the example of her family that it was her job to steer her back on track. “I can manage that myself. I don’t want to put—”

  “Please. Let us do this part. I know it’s early and…” She finally admitted what was troubling her. “You may get to the Big Apple and decide the Big Smoke, and me, are just chapters you can relegate to the past.” She felt bad even suggesting it, worried that Madeleine might offer to stay in Toronto and forgo the job. “There’s something you should know about me. When I make a commitment, I always deliver. Whatever happens between us, you can rest assured Samantha will handle your application professionally if you decide you want to live here. The only thing I can ask is that you do what’s best for you and your career. Madeleine, you are an amazing talent. There isn’t a hope in hell I’ll let you give up on your dreams.”