House of Rage and Sorrow

by Sangu Mandanna

  “You wanted me to tear the Hundred and One down!”

  “We needed it,” she shrugs, “Just like you need this. It’s still funny.”

  I decide to ignore that, and turn to Radha instead. “How are you?” I ask her.

  “Better since I got here, actually,” she says. “I felt so helpless on Wychstar, but here I’m useful.” She had access to Wychstar’s sources and spies before she got here, so she’s been able to give Elvar and Rickard useful information about Alexi’s allies that we hadn’t known before. “It’s less lonely here, too. Sybilla’s been such good company.”

  I find this almost absurdly hard to believe, and based on the incredulous look on Sybilla’s face, she does too. But Radha does look better. It’s only been a few days, but her eyes are brighter, some of her color has come back, and she looks less hollow. I realize that as terrible as her grief must be, it was never the grief that broke her. It was the loneliness. Just being here has done wonders for her.

  “I’m so sorry,” I say, “I should have come to see you after it happened. I should have spent more time with you since you got here.”

  “You’re here now. I’m here.” She squeezes my hand and smiles. “Wherever he is, Rama will like that we’re together.”

  The chariot weaves down the white cobbled roads of Erys, and Radha marvels at the peculiar charm of the kingdom. With its red roofs and artificial forests and cottages made of materials that look like wood and stone, Kali is a true fairytale world. Beautiful and whimsical, with sharp spiky thorns underneath.

  We show Radha the white domed university, the markets, the Warriors’ Guild, the Craftsmen’s Guild, the schools that the royal family funds, the armories. There are squares full of crowds and laughter, and roads full of old shops, and it all feels like clockwork: orderly, calm, disciplined. Every now and then, the electronic voice of the base ship updates us on temperature, airflow, and the like, but none of us pay much attention. We’ve all lived on ship kingdoms for too long to really notice the constant background hum of engines and electronics.

  “When he was here,” Sybilla says to Radha at one point, arms crossed over her chest, “Rama told us you were off doing diplomatic work for your father. Where were you?”

  “Do you always ask questions like it’s an interrogation?” Radha wonders.

  “Pretty much.”

  Radha smiles. “I can’t answer that.” Sybilla scowls, to which Radha responds contritely, “I’m sorry. I’m very much on your side in this war, but that doesn’t mean I can tell you all my country’s secrets. Would you tell me about all Kali’s diplomatic missions?”

  “Moot point,” Sybilla retorts, “we don’t do diplomacy.”

  Radha’s laughter is infectious, especially combined with Sybilla’s determination to not so much as crack a smile. “I’ve never met anyone like you before,” she tells her.

  Sybilla blinks. “Is that a compliment or an insult?”

  A familiar shadow passes over us. I look up and see Titania happily zipping around above the city, much to the glee of several children in the street. She does this a lot now. She says it’s because she gets bored in the dock, but I think it’s also because she wants people to see her like this. No battle, no blood. I think she wants to be able to fly over a city and not see fear on the faces below her.

  Toward the end of our tour, we stop the chariot in a square surrounded by artificial canals, fountains, and shops. One of the shops is owned by my favorite chocolatier in the kingdom. There are very few places like this on Kali, because its culture has always prioritized reason and discipline over creativity and frivolity, so they feel special.

  “Look, there’s Prince Max,” Radha says unexpectedly, pointing over my shoulder. I try not to flinch. “Let’s go say hello.”

  She bounds across the cobbled square to what looks like a shop that sells wooden toys. Neither of us follows her. I see two of the royal guards standing watch outside the shop, which means Max is inside. I have no idea why he’s there, but I can just make out his profile in the dusty glass window.

  “Why doesn’t she just marry him if she likes him so much?” Sybilla grumbles.

  This tickles me, which is a welcome distraction. “She really gets up your nose, doesn’t she?”

  “She’s just so bloody nice to everyone and enthusiastic about everything,” says Sybilla, with such bitterness that you would have thought she had just accused Radha of murdering puppies. “She won’t stop talking to me. I told her I was her bodyguard, not her friend, but did that put her off? Of course not! I can’t promise I won’t kill her, Esmae, I just can’t. She keeps giving me this shy, hopeful smile and I want to hit her over the head with it. And she’s so full of feelings. It’s like she has twenty of them every day.”

  “Twenty whole feelings? How dare she!”

  “Worse, she has no idea how to hide any of them,” Sybilla replies, bypassing my sarcasm entirely. “When she’s happy, she’s practically a fountain of fizzy pastel bubbles. When she’s sad, she cries. Which is a lot of the time because, to be fair, her brother’s dead. So she just cries right there in front of me. And then of course I have to pat her on the back to make it stop.”

  “I think that’s called comfort.”

  “It’s an annoyance is what it is,” she says.

  I decide not to remind her of the many, many times she and I have both committed the unconscionable crime of having emotions and actually sharing them with the other. This is obviously not about Radha’s twenty feelings or her shy, hopeful smile, or even her fizzy pastel happiness.

  “Sybilla,” I start, and then stop.

  “What?”

  No. She’ll absolutely murder someone, most likely me, if I even hint at what I suspect is actually happening here. “Never mind,” I say, valiantly squashing a smile.

  “Come on,” she huffs. “We’d better go find her before she throws herself in front of a chariot to save a mouse or something.”

  I don’t particularly want to risk a conversation with Max after the night in his suite, but it would look very odd for me to just stand out here by myself. I force myself to walk across the cobbles to the toyshop door. I haven’t talked to him at all since that night. I told Rickard and Elvar about Amba’s visit in private, have dodged all the war council meetings over the past three days, and fought with the mystery of the Blue Knights all by myself in my rooms.

  The toyshop is a small, warm place littered with beautiful wooden models, toys, and crafts. I brighten. I normally send kaju sweets and new clothes to the kids at the children’s home on Wychstar, but I think they’d love the toy trains, brightly colored blocks, wooden fairytale dolls, and model spaceships I can see here.

  “Esmae!” Radha materializes at my side and grabs my arm. “Come look at this. Isn’t it beautiful?”

  It’s a small wooden tree with a dozen brightly painted birds perched on the branches. I’m about to tell Radha I agree when one of the birds catches my eye. Some of the birds are made out of wood, but some are made out of feathers and wire. This one is one of the latter, a robin, and the look of it is so familiar that I know immediately where it came from.

  “He made this,” I say out loud.

  “Hmm?” Radha asks, glancing up from where she’s examining the detail on one of the other birds. “Who did? I think the toymaker is the old lady who owns the shop.”

  “She didn’t make this,” I insist.

  “It’s true,” a voice says behind us. It’s the old lady in question, a small woman with a white bun, gold spectacles, and smile. “My hands aren’t as steady as they used to be, so I don’t make much anymore. Many of these toys were made by another toymaker.”

  “Everything is so lovely,” Radha tells the old lady. “You’re both very talented.”

  They wander off to the front of the shop, chatting merrily. I look to the back, where Max and Sybilla were a moment ago. Max is still there, crouched so that he’s at eye level with a small child who appears to be in raptu
res of delight. He winds up a small wooden carousel. The child claps his hands when it turns and plays a soft tune as little elephants bob up and down.

  Once, Kirrin showed me a wish. A galaxy of stars, bright maybes, glimmers of hundreds of possible futures. In one of them, I saw an older Max enchanting a tiny child with a toy carousel and the child had his dark eyes and copper in her brown hair. It was just one of so many tiny stars Kirrin showed me, but it was there and it was possible then. Every star was possible then.

  So many of those stars have gone out now, futures that can never be. Like the one with the carousel and the child with coppery hair. Like the one where my brothers and I stood together.

  And like every single one with Rama in it.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Titania

  I watch the boy whenever I can. His name is Alexi, which means protector. I think about that often.

  I don’t yet know where he is, but wherever it is, it’s dark there. I am not even certain this is happening in the present, but I think it is. I can usually tell from the way the data uploads into my system. I can usually speed up or slow down these incomplete segments of time when they are already part of the gods’ memories, but I have to wait for the data in real time if I access what Kirrin or Amba see in their present. This is the latter.

  Alexi Rey is the other half of Esmae, the twin I could have chosen after the competition. I do not regret that I chose her, but I do wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t. Would Rama have died? Would Esmae still be alive? Would I have helped this boy take his crown? I will never know. What I do know is that he is our enemy now. So I watch him, to see what this boy will do.

  There is a wooded area, full of shadows and long, thorny branches. I search my database for a match, but there are at least three different planets with trees like this. He could be in a realm on any of them.

  Alexi is not alone. Bear is with him, and General Leila Saka. Kirrin, too, of course, or else I would not be able to see this. The mortals are in battle gear, pale gold vests and vambraces over black clothes, and I see swords, knives, Bear’s mace and Alexi’s Golden Bow. Whatever they are here for, they expect to have to fight.

  “Five minutes,” General Saka says to the boys, her voice low. “Then we go in.”

  They nod. She turns and stalks further into the thicket of trees. Bear heads off in the opposite direction, but Alexi stays behind.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” he says to me, or rather to Kirrin. His voice is hard, but I detect worry, too. “You can’t get involved. You’ll fall.”

  “I know that,” Kirrin’s voice replies. “I’m just here to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I’m not okay.”

  “Alex. Talk to me.”

  For a moment, Alexi says nothing. He looks in the direction the others went, his jaw hard. Then he says, “Did you know?”

  “No matter how many times you ask me that, my answer won’t change,” Kirrin says. “No. Of course I didn’t know. You know I’m not above tricks, but I wouldn’t have agreed to that one without your consent. Alex,” he adds, and holds Alexi’s face gently between his blue hands, “I love you more than almost anyone else in this universe. I chose you in spite of the fact that it means I have to work against my own sister and brother. Trust me when I swear to you that I did not know.”

  The hard lines of Alexi’s face soften. Now he just looks bereft, which is how he usually looks these days. He wanted this war, but not like this. He built his life on pride and honor, and he does not know who he is anymore.

  You should have made different choices then, I tell him, but he can’t hear me.

  A few minutes later, General Saka comes back. “Last chance to turn back, Alex,” she says grimly. “Are you sure you want to do this? We can go back to Arcadia, no harm done. No one knows we’re here. I didn’t even tell your mother.”

  “You didn’t?” Kirrin is the one who replies, and he sounds amused. “Was that out of kindness or because you couldn’t resist the opportunity to keep a secret from Kyra for once?”

  General Saka rolls her eyes. “Kyra knows I’m more than a little irked that she never bothered to tell me she had a whole extra child. She also knows I wouldn’t keep a secret from her just for my own satisfaction. Even I’m not that petty.”

  Alexi glances toward the thicket of trees, in the direction Bear went. I notice for the first time that his hands keep clenching at his sides. He’s agitated. He and Esmae share that tell. They are both aware of it, but neither seems able to prevent it.

  “We need to do this,” he says at last.

  “Alex,” General Saka says again, obviously on edge, “We don’t even know if our spy is right about what she thinks she saw in there. You can’t get your hopes up.”

  “Too late,” he says with a small smile. “This could end the war, Leila. It could give back everything we’ve lost.”

  She doesn’t mince her words. “It won’t give you back your sister. This won’t stop her coming after you. How many visions and curses do you need to hear before you realize she will be the end of you and your family?”

  Bear clomps back at that moment, which gives Alexi an opportunity not to answer. “Are we going or not?” Bear asks. He sounds excited.

  “Let’s go,” Alexi says and leads him away. General Saka glances back at Kirrin once, then follows.

  Kirrin vanishes and reappears in a small space carved out of the heart of these woods. There’s a plain woodcutter’s cottage in the middle of the space, surrounded by twelve guards. It’s a very large number of guards for such a small, nondescript house. Kirrin has not tried to simply appear inside the cottage either, which suggests to me that there has been some kind of protective shield put over it that even a god cannot pass. I try to scan the guards’ faces, but there are no matches in my database. They must be mercenaries.

  Moments later, as Kirrin watches from the shadows of the trees, Alexi, Bear, and General Saka emerge from the woods from three different directions. The mercenaries don’t stand a chance. Even three to twelve, it is only too easy for Alexi to immobilize more than half of them, while Bear takes on the others. General Saka leans lazily on a tree and lets them get on with it.

  With the guards out of the way, Kirrin and General Saka join the boys. Kirrin approaches the house first and puts a hand up to feel for the defenses. “It’s a very powerful shield,” he says. I feel smug. I already knew that.

  “How can we take it down?”

  “Question one of the guards.”

  The mercenaries are not helpful. Eleven refuse to speak at all. The twelfth only shrugs indifferently and says, “There’s a key that unlocks the shield. You can’t get in without it. We don’t have it.”

  “Someone must go in and out to feed the prisoner,” General Saka snaps. “Someone must tend to him when he falls ill. Do you really expect us to believe not one of you is able to get in?”

  She gestures to Bear to haul them to their feet, one by one, and searches them. She finds weapons, three medical lasers, a few packaged meal bars, a handful of coins.

  Then, as she searches the ninth mercenary, her eyes gleam and she draws her hand out of a pocket inside his jacket. “What’s this?”

  It’s a card made out of a metal of some kind, white with shiny blue lines. The blue lines tell me it’s a data card, which means it could very likely be coded to unlock a shield.

  “That looks like a key to me,” Alexi says.

  “It does, doesn’t it?” General Saka replies, glowering at the horrified mercenary. “You lied.”

  “I have no idea how that got in my pocket!”

  “I bet,” Bear scoffs. He drops the mercenary onto the ground, puts the immobilizing cuff back around his ankle, and turns to his brother. His eyes are bright with hope. “Let’s try it!”

  Alexi takes the card and walks carefully to the old, battered front door of the little house. There’s no handle. He runs his hand over the surface of the door and then the doorframe, searchin
g for the lock. He peels back a strip of the wood façade to reveal a shiny tech panel underneath. His hand is not quite steady as he places the card against the panel.

  The panel flashes twice and the door clicks open. Kirrin keeps to the back as they make their way in. The cottage is small but clean inside, and furnished well in shades of red, cream, and brown. I do not get to look any closer. Kirrin’s attention is diverted to something on the floor.

  A bare foot.

  “No.” Bear’s voice is terrible to hear, full of anguish. “No!”

  He rushes to the foot, or rather to the side of the body attached to the foot. General Saka follows him, but Alexi does not move. There is utter devastation on his face.

  “Is he dead?” he croaks.

  “Yes,” General Saka tells him. “There are no marks on him, but his lips are blue from poison. I don’t think he’s been dead more than an hour.”

  Bear has tears on his face. “An hour? All this time, and that’s how late we were? An hour?”

  “I don’t think it was bad luck,” says Kirrin gravely. “I think someone found out we were coming here and took matters into their own hands.”

  Kirrin still hasn’t looked at the body’s face. My curiosity is unbearable. I want to know who they came here for.

  But when Kirrin finally moves closer to put a hand on Bear’s hunched shoulder, and I see the face of the dead prisoner on the floor, I wish I hadn’t looked.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The day of the Lotus Festival is bright, sunny, and warm. Of course, that’s not just a happy coincidence; every aspect of the weather on Kali is planned several weeks in advance and carefully controlled, and no one would ever allow the kingdom’s favorite festival to be washed out by rain.

  I arrived on Kali a few months after last year’s celebration, so this is my first Lotus Festival. I grew up imagining it, longing to be here. In spite of its name, the Lotus Festival is not really about the flower. It’s about a battle formation. The story goes that thousands of years ago, before our star system first evolved to include human life, the first gods and the first raksha demons were at war. It got so bad that the god Ash, the destroyer, stepped forward to bring the world to an end so that the goddess Bara, the creator, could then remake it.