Someone to Love

by Jenny Frame

  Now Trent felt even more nervous.

  “So what are you going to do with your day off? See your parents?” Trent asked.

  Wendy gave a hollow laugh. “Eh, no. We’re not close. I’m going to music practice with my band.”

  Now that was something she wasn’t expecting to hear. “You play in a band?”

  “I haven’t for a long time. My friends and I formed the group when I was at university. We played festivals and pubs, we even went to the Edinburgh Festival one year, but then I started nannying abroad. When they heard I was back, they asked me to play again,” Wendy said.

  Trent smiled. “I’d love to hear you sometime.”

  “I don’t think you would. It’s a folk music band, and besides, I’m very rusty. Too used to singing children’s songs. Which I know irritate you beyond belief.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. They’re growing on me.”

  They held each other’s gaze, and the words held more meaning than Trent could understand for the moment.

  Wendy stood and said, “Goodnight then, Trent.”

  “Goodnight, Wendy, and thanks for this.” Trent held up the paper.

  “Of course.” Wendy smiled. “I’m here to help you.”

  Trent watched Wendy walk away and couldn’t help admiring the roll of her hips in her tight, ripped jeans, and she felt a tightening in her chest. Wendy was nothing like the usual women she went for. Her type of woman usually wore a cocktail dress, not henna tattoos, beads, and braids in their hair, but Wendy was beautifully different and, she was beginning to realize, shone with goodness.

  Chapter Ten

  On Sunday Wendy rode the Tube to her band rehearsal. She checked her watch constantly. This was Trent’s first day alone with the children and she was nervous. She wanted this to work for them.

  Alice hadn’t been too enthusiastic to spend the day with Trent, but Noah was happy, as usual. It was only through these kinds of outings that Trent would build a relationship with Alice. They were both so uncomfortable around each other, but she hoped they could make a breakthrough soon.

  Wendy walked them down to the Tube station and then they went their separate ways. Alice would hardly let go of her hand when she left, and she felt bad as her train pulled away and she saw Noah holding Trent’s hand and Alice standing awkwardly beside her. Maybe she should have gone with them? Wendy’s stop came, and she picked up her guitar and made her way up and out of the station. Despite her worries about Trent and the kids, she was excited. The band was meeting in a friend’s bar to rehearse, and she couldn’t wait to get back into it again. Music had always been a big part of her life, and she’d missed it terribly when she was out of the country.

  A few minutes later she arrived at the Red Lion Pub. Despite its traditional name, the Red Lion was a popular gay pub and during the day served excellent pub food.

  She walked in and got some admiring looks from the lunchtime crowd. Kira, who played the flute in the band, had said to meet them in the pub’s function room. She walked up to the bar and got a bottle of water before heading to the back room.

  When Wendy walked in the members of the band were sitting on the edge of the stage—Kira, River, who played drums, bongos, and the traditional Celtic bodhrán, and Skye, who played mandolin.

  “Hey, you bunch of hippies,” Wendy said.

  “Dee,” Skye shouted and rushed over to meet her, with River following behind.

  Skye and River were brother and sister and stereotypical New Agers. Both wore their hair in dreadlocks. River had a beard, and Skye had henna tattoos.

  Skye wrapped her arms around Wendy. “So glad you came home, wanderer.”

  Wendy could smell the scent of incense and the unmistakable smell of marijuana on Skye’s loose-fitting T-shirt.

  “It’s so nice to see you both again,” Wendy said.

  Skye pulled back and cupped Wendy’s face. “I—we missed you so much.”

  “We really did,” River added, holding his arms out for a hug.

  Skye held on to her a little too long, and Wendy worried that Skye still had a crush on her. They’d had a drunken kiss after Bailey left her and Wendy was an emotional mess, and there had been an awkwardness for a while. She hoped things would be easier now time had passed.

  River pushed his sister out of the way and said, “My turn. Come here.”

  He spun her around in a circle. Kira came over and said, “Put her down, River. We’re here to play music.”

  * * *

  Trent held Noah’s hand tightly as they walked around the Natural History Museum, and Noah held his toy dinosaur tightly.

  Alice was the only one walking alone. Trent had tried to hold her hand and engage with her a few times, but to no avail. So she just kept her eye on her as best she could.

  Suddenly Noah shouted, “T-Rex!” He went to bolt off and Trent grabbed the back of his jacket.

  “I told you not to run off, Noah. Hold my hand. We all go together,” Trent said firmly. She looked back and Alice was dragging even further behind. “Alice, please stay with us. We’re going to see the T-Rex next. That’ll be nice, won’t it?” Alice looked up at her moodily but said nothing. “Let’s go.”

  They looked all around the large dinosaur, and Trent lifted Noah up when he wanted to see the display board. She looked over her shoulder to check on Alice and didn’t see her. Trent put Noah down quickly and looked all around her. Alice was nowhere to be seen. Fear and panic entered every cell in Trent’s body.

  “Alice? Alice?” Trent shouted.

  “Where’s Ali, Trent?” Noah said worriedly.

  She stroked his head, trying to appear calmer than she felt. She couldn’t lose Alice on their first day out.

  With no sign of her, Trent hurried over to a security guard. “Excuse me, I can’t find my goddaughter. I’m her guardian.”

  The man was immediately on alert. “Can you give me a description? I’ll radio all the guards.”

  While he was talking into his radio, she said to Noah, “Stay with this nice man until I find Alice. Okay?”

  “Uh-huh,” he replied, clutching his dinosaur like a teddy bear.

  Trent looked everywhere and was getting more panicked and anxious with every second. She knew what kind of people frequented family visitor attractions like this, and the thought of anyone getting hold of Alice made her terrified.

  After ten minutes, one of the guards came to find her.

  “We’ve found her, Ms. Trent.”

  “Oh, thank God. Where was she?” Trent felt relief like she never had before.

  “Hiding behind a large fossil rock in another exhibition room. We have her at the security office. Follow me.”

  She was led into the security room and saw Alice sitting on a seat with her head down. Noah ran to her.

  “We found Ali.”

  “Yes, good boy, Noah.” Trent needed to speak to Alice.

  Trent asked the security guard if he’d take Noah out for a moment and he happily obliged.

  Trent sat down beside Alice and let out a breath. “You gave me the fright of my life, Alice. I thought we’d lost you.”

  Alice looked at her with a mixture of anger, resentment, and confusion. “It’s Ali—you don’t even know that. Everyone calls me Ali.”

  “Ali, okay. Why did you run from us?”

  “Why do you care?” Alice snapped.

  “Of course I care, Ali. If your intention was to give me a scare, then you did,” Trent said firmly. That feeling of helplessness and panic was something new and she didn’t want to repeat it.

  “I don’t want to spend the day looking around at stupid old bones, pretending everything’s all right, when my dad is dead. I saw him dead right in front of me. We have no family now.”

  Alice convulsed in tears. Trent’s heart raced. What should she do?

  “You have me.” Trent tried to wrap her arm around her shoulder, but Alice pushed her away.

  “No we don’t. We’re only here today because it
’s Wendy’s day off and she told you to take us,” Alice said with disdain.

  She was technically correct. If Wendy hadn’t been off today, Trent would probably be in her office working, but she had genuinely enjoyed herself until Alice ran. Watching Noah’s excitement and wonder at the sight of the dinosaurs was a new and wonderful thing. She was reminded of the time her mother took her to see an Egyptian exhibit at the British Museum. There was no nanny, no father, just her and her mama, laughing and enjoying themselves. Trent’s mother was so different outside the tight constricts of their family home and watchful eye of her father.

  “Ali, I—”

  “No!” Alice snapped. “You’re sending us away. I hated foster care. It was scary, and Noah cried all the time.”

  Alice was obviously equating boarding school with foster care. She needed to explain and tried to remember how Dale and Wendy had spoken to the kids. She got down on her knees in front of Alice.

  “Ali, listen. I’m not sending you and Noah away because you’re bad or I don’t like you. I’m single and I’ve never had children. I don’t think I could be what you need as a full-time parent—that’s why I thought it best. Boarding school isn’t like foster care. It’s a safe place where people will look after you every day and night. You will have everything you could ever want. I will always make sure of that.”

  Alice’s eyes filled with tears. “You can’t bring my dad back or replace him.”

  “I don’t want to replace him. I never could.” Trent sighed. How could she explain her feelings when she didn’t understand them herself? Seeing Dale with the kids made her envious, and the past few days Trent had allowed herself to think about how nice it would be to have Alice and Noah look at her the way Jake and Grace looked at Dale.

  But how could she bridge this gulf between Alice and herself? Then she thought of the only other time she had opened up her heart and asked someone to trust her—it was Becca.

  When Becca’s mother committed suicide, and her world collapsed around her, Trent found Becca on the floor of her family home, on the verge of emotional collapse.

  Trent offered Becca her hand and asked her to trust in her, because she was all that Becca had.

  “Ali, we’ve not had the best of starts, and I know it’s been my fault, but I want to make this better.” Trent held out her open hand, looked Alice in the eyes and said, “I’m asking you to trust me and allow me to do better. I’m going to make mistakes. I’ve never had children live with me, didn’t think I would ever want to, but I want to try to make this work. So? Will you give me that chance?”

  Alice eyed her hand carefully, while biting her lip nervously. She finally put her small hand in Trent’s and said, “Wendy said we should give you a chance, so I will.”

  Trent felt a surge of emotion like she didn’t anticipate. She closed her hand around Alice’s and had a flash of her mother doing the same thing and giving her that big, beaming smiling face that she always had when Father wasn’t around.

  Trent had to gulp down the growing emotions that were swirling around inside her. She had kept these thoughts and memories locked up so tightly that they were flooding out at the first chink in her armour.

  “Thank you, Ali. I’ll try to do better, but please don’t run away again,” Trent said.

  “I won’t,” Ali replied.

  Trent smiled. “Let’s go and get your little brother, then.”

  Trent started to walk out the door, and she felt Alice’s hand slip into hers. Trent looked down at Alice and smiled. In that one little moment she realized how special it was to be given that trust from Alice, and she was determined to keep earning that trust.

  * * *

  Wendy used her fob to get into Trent’s apartment building. Victor the attendant came over from his desk to greet her. She had gotten to know him in the last few weeks, as she came and went with the kids.

  “Evening, Wendy. Did you have a good day off?”

  Wendy smiled at the older man as he took her guitar case to carry it for her. “Yes, it was fun. Did Ms. Trent and the children get back home okay?”

  “Oh yes, laden down with toy dinosaurs and the like,” Victor said.

  Wendy shook her head. More gifts? Despite Wendy’s warning Trent was clearly still trying to build emotional bridges with money and not heeding her warning. At least they were home in one piece, she supposed.

  “I better get up and see how they got on today,” Wendy said.

  She started to head for the stairs. She had lots of time to walk up.

  Victor said, “Let me ride on the lift with you—it’s too many stairs.”

  “I think I’ll just stick to the stairs, Victor. Thanks.”

  Victor pursed his lips. “At least let me take your guitar up for you.”

  “Okay, thanks.” Wendy handed her guitar case to Victor and walked through the door to the stairway.

  By the time she got to the top of the stairs, she felt like crawling to the front door of Trent’s flat, but she dragged herself there upright and unlocked the door. When she walked in she found Noah bouncing around on the couch, holding toy dinosaurs, with the TV blaring. Alice was sitting at the kitchen island with Trent’s iPad, and Trent was piling pizza boxes in a rubbish bag. Noah squealed when he saw Wendy and rushed to hug her.

  “Wendy, we saw loads of cool dinos,” Noah said.

  She hugged him and said, “I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

  Wendy spotted her guitar leaning against the wall. Victor must have dropped it off and went back downstairs.

  “Hi, Wendy, did you have a good day with your friends?” Trent asked.

  She walked over to the kitchen area and put down her bag. “Yes, I had a good day. We were a bit rusty after all these years, but we’ll get better.” Wendy pointed at the pizza boxes and said, “What happened to your homemade dinner?”

  Trent turned her gaze to the freezer and said sheepishly, “I forgot to take them out this morning, and we were hungry so…”

  Wendy shook her head. “I bet you’ve eaten more pizza since these two came to live with you than you have the whole of your life.”

  “Quite so. It’s convenient for children,” Trent said. Trent picked up some empty ice cream tubs and threw them in the bin bag.

  “Did they polish off these two tubs of ice cream too?” Wendy frowned and put her keys down on the kitchen countertop.

  Trent nodded. “Yes, they seemed to enjoy it.”

  Wendy came closer to Trent and said in a low voice, “Of course they enjoyed it, and now that’s why Noah is jumping around like a jack-in-the-box. I need to teach you to cook some emergency meals for when I’m not here.”

  She then turned to Alice, who was quiet as usual. “Did you have a good day, Ali?”

  Then something strange occurred. Alice and Trent exchanged a look, and when Trent opened her mouth to answer, Alice said quickly, “It was good. We had fun.”

  There was a story here she was missing. Alice was covering for something.

  “I’m glad. Why don’t you finish clearing up and I’ll bathe Noah?” Wendy said.

  “But it’s your day off,” Trent said.

  Wendy smiled. “I don’t mind.”

  That smile made Trent’s stomach tighten. “Thanks, Wendy.”

  When Wendy walked off to get Noah, Trent berated herself. No, no. Not the nanny. Get those thoughts out of your head right away.

  She realized then that Alice was watching her intently.

  “Are you okay, Trent?”

  “Absolutely fine. Why don’t you go to your room and listen to your book? I’ll get cleaned up here.”

  “Okay.”

  After getting cleaned up and dripping some pizza sauce on the sleeve of her shirt, Trent went to her office. She was writing some bullet points about a case on her whiteboard when she heard a knock on her door. “Come in.”

  Wendy came in. She had changed into a little strappy top that drew her eyes, and one of her headscarves that held b
ack her beautiful blond hair and reminded Trent of a 1950s housewife. Of course, Wendy wore it ironically, but it was sexy nonetheless.

  “Can I have a word?” Wendy said.

  “Of course, sit down.”

  Wendy sat, and as Trent passed on the way to her desk, she saw a beautiful colourful butterfly tattoo on Wendy’s shoulder. She had to stop herself from running her fingers over it. When she sat down she crossed her legs. She tried to get the image of brushing her lips over it out of her head.

  “Something wrong?” Wendy asked. She had clearly noticed how uncomfortable Trent was as she shifted around in her seat.

  “What did you want to talk about?” Trent asked, trying to divert Wendy’s attention away from her.

  “Oh yes, well, I wondered if something happened today,” Wendy asked.

  “What makes you say that?”

  Wendy leaned forward and tapped her nails on the desk, drawing Trent’s eyes to them. “It seemed like you and Alice were covering for something,” Wendy said.

  Trent had to come clean. “Okay, I was going to tell you, but Alice stopped me.”

  “What happened?”

  Trent sighed, and just as she was about to speak her mobile rang. It was sitting in the middle of the desk and Claudia’s name flashed up on the screen. She stared at it, willing it to stop, but it didn’t.

  “Aren’t you going to answer?” Wendy asked.

  Trent hit the decline button. “No, I can’t deal with her just now.”

  “A girlfriend?” Wendy asked.

  “No. Anyway, I kept a firm hold of Noah, but Alice wouldn’t hold my hand. She didn’t want to be there at all and just trailed behind us. Then I looked back and she was gone. I looked for her everywhere I could in the last exhibit we were in, and then I alerted the security and they started a search.”

  Wendy’s eyes went wide.

  “I know,” Trent said. “You don’t have to tell me. I never felt panic like it. I lost her, my own family, and I lost her.”

  “How did you find her?” Wendy asked.

  “One of the guards found her hiding behind a big display of fossil rocks. She ran from me.”