It's All Relative

by S. C. Stephens

  Harmony sighed and muttered, “Yeah.” As Jessie walked over to Kai, she heard Harmony mutter, “April, you’re being a real bitch, you know.”

  Jessie smiled at Harm sticking up for her, then frowned as Kai’s eyes drifted up her body. Just that slight maneuver made her feel exposed, even with the multiple layers of clothing she was wearing. He was smiling broadly as she stepped up to him. As he took in the winter wonderland around them, the sunlight bounced off his eyes, making them twinkle as much as the icy crystals around their feet.

  “Isn’t this great?” he said happily, looking just like a boy in a candy store.

  Jessie smiled at his pure joy, then frowned again, remembering what she had to tell him. “Um…”

  His eyes drifted back to her at the sound in her voice. He frowned, watching her face. Jessie sighed. Better to just spit it out. “April’s pissed off about what I said to her. She’s refusing to let me stay in the room with her and Harm.” Jessie sighed slowly, her shoulders slumping as she watched Kai’s brows furrow farther. “They’re asking that I stay with you,” she whispered, her heartbeat accelerating, just saying it out loud.

  Kai’s mouth dropped open, his eyes flicking to April getting her stuff out of the car, and Harmony unlocking the skis from the roof rack. Looking too thrown for words, he opened and closed his mouth a few times. His wide eyes came back to Jessie. “But…” His gaze traveled the length of her body, his face losing a little color. “I’m a guy…you’re a girl. We can’t…they can’t ask us…”

  He swallowed, running a hand through his damp-with-snow hair. Jessie watched the dark pieces lump together into grooves. It was hot. She closed her eyes, focusing only on his chest when she reopened them. “We’re cousins, Kai.” She peeked up at his face and smirked ruefully. “We’re harmless.”

  Well, they were supposed to be anyway, but when his eyes washed over her body again, it felt anything but harmless. But, as far as Harm and April were concerned, their sharing a room was no bigger deal than if they’d been brother and sister. Kai ran his hand down his face, studying the two girls at the back of the car for a second before staring at Jessie again. “What do we do?”

  Jessie shrugged, tears stinging her eyes. “I don’t know. Can I…stay with you?” She swallowed, not sure if she wanted him to say yes or no.

  Kai swallowed too, closing his eyes. He nodded a couple of times before opening them. “Of course. I said I’d be here if you needed me. I’m not going to turn you away.” Smiling at her tentatively, he shrugged. “We’ll just keep our distance. We can do this…right?”

  Jessie smiled tentatively too. A large flake fell on his cheek and she had to physically restrain her hand from brushing it away. Sure, they could do this. No words inside her, she only nodded.

  ***********************

  Three weeks. Kai had made it three achingly long weeks without caving, without calling his cousin, or showing up at her work, or dropping by her home in the middle of the night. And that had been difficult. That had taken every ounce of will power he possessed. He’d practically had to verbally abuse himself every day, just so he wouldn’t give in to the overwhelming need to see her, to hold her, to touch her. To watch her smile, to hear her laugh. To wrap a long tendril of her hair around his finger. It had been the most difficult three weeks of his life.

  Even his coworkers had noticed his mood. Missy had tried, in her own way, to cheer him up. Mainly she’d flashed him…a lot. At this point though, it did make Kai smile. Shaking his head, he’d told her thank you, but no thank you. He was pretty sure his continued rejections were doing nothing to dissuade the woman. She was anything but a quitter.

  Louis had reaffirmed that he’d find another potential breeding partner, seeming to think that Kai’s quietness had more to do with being dumped by an exotically beautiful woman than anything else. Kai told him repeatedly that breaking things off with April had been a mutual decision. That he hadn’t been dumped, and he definitely wasn’t looking for a “breeding partner,” but Louis refused to believe him. Personally, Kai thought it just made more sense to Louis, since, in his eyes, rejecting a beautiful woman went against the laws of nature.

  But April wasn’t the one holding Kai’s heart, and he’d really had no problems letting her go. But letting his cousin go…that tore him daily. Even his boss, Mason, had commented on his attitude. Kai had tried to maintain professionalism with the man, but staring off into space one afternoon, Mason had called him on it.

  Tilting his head at Kai once he’d regained his attention, Mason had asked, “Are you happy here…at the center?” He’d had a look in his eye that was so odd to Kai, almost hopeful, as if Kai would have made his day if he’d said yes and turned in his notice.

  Kai had again swallowed the feeling of not being wanted. Raising his chin, he’d calmly replied with, “Yes, very much so, Mason. I’m sorry if I’ve been distracted lately. It’s a…personal matter, but I’ll do better to not let it interfere with my work.”

  Mason had paused, bunching his eyebrows like he’d wanted to ask Kai more, but then he’d only nodded, smiling briefly before quickly walking away. Even after all these weeks, Kai really had no idea if the man liked him or not.

  So sure, Kai had been getting through his life, but in a numb sort of daze. Jessie’s words in her bedroom seared through his soul whenever he had a moment to himself: You should be with me. You’re supposed to be with me. If Jessie only knew how much he wanted those words to be true. Things would be so easy, if he could be with her.

  But instead, he was practicing distance – safety through solitude. Then his grandmother, probably also noticing his mood, had suddenly bombarded him with the brilliant idea that he needed to go out and have a life experience.

  The way she’d put it, Kai needed to learn to ski, and he would never get another opportunity to do it, unless he took this weekend to go up with Jessie. The way she’d made it sound, it was almost as if all of the snow was suddenly going to evaporate, and if he didn’t jump on the chance, he was going to miss it forever. He had no idea what the woman’s real motives were behind him going, but she wouldn’t let up on him until he’d agreed.

  And that was how Kai had found himself traveling miles away from the seclusion of his studio apartment in a painfully close proximity to the woman he was in love with. The woman he couldn’t have. The woman who distracted him every waking moment and haunted every dream.

  After a few tension filled hours in a car with her, he’d tried to distract himself by taking in the snow-filled beauty around him. But even that had paled in comparison to her. Then she’d said those fateful words, words he ached to hear, words he was scared to hear. She needed him. She needed to stay with him. And he had no choice but to say yes. Not just because he loved her, but because she was family, and family did hard things for each other.

  Walking into the spacious entryway of the ski lodge that Harmony had set the girls up in, Kai tried to keep that in mind. They were family. He could share a room with her without anything happening. Just because he could barely look at her smoky, passionate eyes or curly, wild hair without feeling a tinge of arousal, didn’t mean he had to act on it. Kai was an adult, not a hormone crazed teenager. He had control of his body, and they could talk companionably until they fell asleep, him on the floor, her safely on the bed.

  He walked up to the front desk, taking in the space around him as he did. The hotel was designed with a classic cabin feel, large wooden timbers visible under the roof and a few supporting logs spaced around the open area of the lobby. A large circular fireplace with a cylindrical flue was in the middle of the common room, with chairs and tables spaced around it, creating a comfortable place to take a break from the chill outside. Several guests were lounging with warm drinks, their skis resting on support brackets built along the wooden walls. Hallways branched off from either end of the common room, with wide staircases that led to the upper floors. The entire place oozed warmth and comfort.

  Smiling, he
gave the elegant woman running the front desk his name. Yes, he and Jessie could be adults about this. There really was no need to stress about something as small as sharing a room. Kai smiled wider as he thought of spending some time with her. He’d missed her so much, and now he’d, at the very least, get the chance to talk with his friend again. He’d meant it when he’d called her his best friend. She was. There was no one else he’d rather hang out with. Then again, he’d also meant it when he’d said he loved her. Kai had sort of connected the two sentiments when he’d said them; he wondered if Jessie realized that he’d meant them separately.

  While the woman checked him into the computer, he looked over at Jessie as she walked up to stand beside him. She bit her full lip, her beautiful deep brown eyes looking around the homey, comfortable lobby. With the way they darted about and the way she continually shifted her weight, Kai thought she was a bit nervous about their upcoming arrangements. He wanted to assure her that everything was going to be fine, platonic even, but he couldn’t say that with Harmony and April standing right behind them.

  As the melted snow dripped off a tendril of her hair close to her face, Kai watched the drop land on her fluffy jacket, right over her breast. Following the water as it traveled down the quilted design, he watched it head right over her nipple. A surge of desire flashed through him and he looked away.

  What was he saying about being an adult? Right. Well, he’d work on it. And it would be nice if the universe would stop teasing him with erotic raindrops.

  The polite woman gave him two room cards and wished him a pleasant stay. Kai thanked her and stepped aside so Harmony and April could check in. Jessie leaned on her skis, her bags in her other hand. Kai held out his hand and she looked up at him. “Let me take your bags,” he said casually.

  She paused, her eyes flicking over his damp hair, then nodded, handing him her bag but slinging her backpack over her shoulder. Wanting to reaffirm that this would be fine, he smiled at her. She cautiously smiled back and Kai found himself staring a little too long into the depths of her eyes. Before he knew it, April was dropping her bags right at his feet. Kai startled, not realizing that they were already done.

  April stretched out a kink and looked around the place. She smiled and inhaled. “It smells like Christmas in here.”

  Kai smiled, looking around the space. It did. The lodge had a real Christmas tree across from the front desk and the smell of pine was nearly overwhelming, and comforting. Tiny sparkling lights were strung along the eaves and over the smell of the tree, Kai could just make out the scent of spiced cider. It was all sort of magical and beautiful. Kai couldn’t wait to spend Christmas here in Colorado. He’d never had a white one.

  Jessie sighed, seemingly less impressed than April. Or maybe she was still worried. Biting her lip, she turned to a cheery April. “About the room… ”

  Immediately April’s eyes turned as icy as the weather. She picked up her bags, hefted her skis onto her shoulder, and jerked away Harmony, who had still been busy admiring the lobby. Harmony squeaked, but followed. “Catch you guys on the slopes!” April called over her shoulder, clearly dismissing Jessie, and her attempt to get back with them.

  Kai sighed, hoping April would give it a rest soon. She hadn’t much taken it to heart when Kai had assured her that Jessie’s spiteful comments had been more about him, than her. I guess you couldn’t just accuse another girl of being a whore and not suffer some recriminations for it.

  As April and Harmony began giggling, walking up the stairs to their room on the upper floor, Jessie sighed. Kai playfully bumped her shoulder. She looked up at him, her eyes torn between wanting to stay, and wanting to leave and Kai smiled reassuringly. “It will be okay, cousin. Shall we go to our room?” Jessie smiled slightly at the familial term, then nodded.

  Leading Jessie in the opposite direction, they found that his room was the last one on the first floor. They walked in and Kai whistled. There was an actual fireplace in the room, along with a jetted tub in the corner. The space was decorated as cozily as the rest of the lodge - large timber beams along the walls, smaller versions along the ceiling, and photos of the Rockies along the walls along with a set of antique skis and poles. Kai could see that those were securely bolted down, most likely to prevent their theft.

  Kai’s addition to the trip had been a last minute one, and this room had been the only one available. It was costing him a pretty penny, but Kai was making decent money now, working for Mason, and lived pretty simply anyway. He had the extra cash and had decided that his Gran was right, in a way. Life was short, and he’d always wanted to learn to ski. What better time to start, than right now?

  Kai set their bags on the king-sized bed as Jessie secured her skis on a rack near the door. Kai didn’t have skis; he’d would have to rent some before they joined up with April and Harmony. Jessie came up behind him, placing her backpack on the bed. “Wow, Kai, this is nice.” She glanced over at the adjoining bathroom and then to a table under the window surrounded by plush chairs.

  Then her eyes focused on the rug on the floor in front of the fire. It was white and fluffy and looked like it could have belonged to an animal at some point, although, with the PC movement sweeping the nation, Kai was fairly certain the lodge had gone with the synthetic fur over the real stuff. But it screamed – have sex here. They both looked away from the rug at the exact same time.

  Hours later, Kai was laughing wholeheartedly with his cousin, their earlier tension filled moments forgotten. While April and Harmony had left them to take their turns on the more advanced slopes, Jessie had stayed on the “kiddy” slopes with Kai. She was teaching him the basics of skiing, which basically meant that she was laughing her ass off.

  While he fell repeatedly, usually landing on his getting-numb backside, she giggled, swishing over effortlessly to help him up. Kai frowned at a couple of eight year olds as they whizzed past. Nothing like being surpassed by people a quarter your age.

  Sighing as he took her hand, he let her pull him upright. She laughed as she brushed snow off his back. Shaking his head at her merriment, he adjusted his poles and experimentally slid his feet back and forth. Kai had been certain he’d pick up skiing easily, since he thought it would be similar to surfing. He’d never been so wrong. But still, he was determined to make it down an adult slope this weekend, and that would be easier if his cousin didn’t find the whole thing so amusing.

  Smirking at her, he said, “You just wait until I get you in the ocean. Then I’ll be the one laughing when you get a nose full of surf.” Grinning at her, he adjusted his goggles.

  Jessie smirked right back at him, then chucked a fistful of snow in his face. She hit him squarely with the loose packed ball and it exploded into a fluffy white cloud that coated him like baker’s flour. She bent over in hysterics, then expertly darted away from him, sliding along the banks as fluidly as if she were a bird gliding among the clouds.

  Dropping his mouth open, he shook his head and awkwardly started out after her. He stumbled a bit, feeling like he was alternately going to fall on his face or his ass, but eventually he caught up with her. Laughing as she glanced behind herself, she bent low over the skis, pushing for speed on the barely declining hill. Kai’s eyes laser beamed on the backside perfectly put on display for him. Grinning, he pushed harder to catch up.

  Right when he was at that backside, he felt himself losing control. The hill had taken a sharp incline and he hadn’t been ready for it. He warbled on his feet, trying to remember if it was the V that slowed him down…or did that make him go faster? Was it the other way? Not knowing what to do, he did what all amateurs did; he picked up his feet and started stupidly trying to walk. Floundering, he lost his balance and fell over again, this time forwards. Jessie in front of him had slowed when she saw that he was starting to lose it and, unfortunately, he was now going to plow right into her.

  Feeling like a jackass, he hit her and they both tumbled down into a thick bank of soft snow along the side of th
e slope. It powdered up around them, cushioning their fall and covering them in a light blanket of white. Breathing heavy, Kai dropped his poles and lifted his goggles. His legs, arms, and skis were all tangled up with Jessie’s, and he was pretty sure that he’d had to have hurt her somewhat.

  She was lying beneath him, a light layer of snow hiding her beautiful face. She was completely still underneath him and Kai started to worry that maybe she’d hit her head. On himself, he only felt the vague bumps and bruises from falling all afternoon long, but maybe she was seriously hurt?

  Panicking, he pulled his gloves off and cupped her face. The chill of the snow pricked his warm fingers but he ignored it, gently pulling off her goggles and brushing the fluffy stuff away from her cheeks and mouth. “Jessie?”

  His hands moved down her body, unsure how much he should move her if she had a head injury. She still made no response, lying perfectly still. Kai tried to disengage from her body, but they were tangled so badly, he couldn’t tell where he ended and she began.

  Fear leeched into his voice. “Jessie, please talk to me.” He leaned into her, trying to feel the warmth of her breath on his cheek. He couldn’t feel it, he couldn’t feel anything. Starting to panic, his hands brushed over her face and hair. “Please, Jessie…please talk to me…baby?”