Dream Rider

by Wilf Voss

  "Thank you Jacqui." She slipped out of the car, turning to walk to the cottage. She paused before she opened the door and stepped back to the car. "Jacqui." She paused, taking a deep breath. "I will come to the yard and tell everyone, but I need you to know. I can't carry on. After the funeral, I will be closing the stables and selling up. I can't face going back there again."

  "I understand." Jacqui nodded.

  "I will pay you and the staff right up to the end, but..." She stopped. "I just felt it was fair that you knew. I am so sorry."

  "Please don't be sorry." Jacqui took Kate's hand. "I understand and I know the girls will."

  ***

  "So, who are you?" Adam walked towards Susan. It was the end of the third day; Susan had taunted him as he had continued to try to make contact with anyone on the yard. He soon realised that he could not leave the confines of the stables, any attempt to do so left him so sick that he could not go any further so it became clear he was trapped in this single place. The only person he could communicate with was the sullen woman who was standing before him so he felt he had better at least know something about her.

  "Me?" Susan looked around theatrically. "Oh you are finally speaking to me? Oh I am honoured."

  "Oh forget it!" Adam turned away.

  "No... Please." Susan pleaded. "Okay, it's been a long time but I am Susan Thompson, I worked here a long time ago."

  "And?"

  "And what?"

  "How did you die?"

  "Oh wow! Straight in with the tough questions. You don't leave much time for niceties do you?" She laughed at Adam's obvious discomfort. "Look you asked." She snarled.

  "I am sorry."

  "Well get over it. I am not a nice person, but that is hardly my fault."

  "Sorry?"

  "People hated me, they deserved what they got."

  "Why did they hate you?" Adam spoke softly.

  "Why do you care? Piss off!" She turned and quickly walked away from him.

  ***

  "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." The priest looked up briefly glancing around the congregation. He was pleased to see that the pews were comparatively full, although Adam had not been a churchgoer it was clear that he has been respected in his own community.

  Kate sat silently in the front pew, she wanted to scream and cry out but felt she had to be strong for the rest of the staff, strange how she felt such responsibility for her colleagues even though, in just a few days it would be all over. All too quickly, the service reached a conclusion, Adam's coffin rolled silently towards the hatch in the wall and the curtains slowly closed. So this was it, this was the silent ending as Adam's favourite music played in the background. Kate faced the inevitability; he would never be coming back. Kate's mother put her arm around her shoulder and embraced her, soon she would be returning to her childhood home tonight, no doubt sleeping in the bed she has spent so many years in before she had left home.

  Everyone was charming and polite, with lovely things to say about Adam but it was an uncomfortable occasion it was generally agreed that no one should die that young. Kate looked up and saw Dr Newton approaching her. "Doctor." Kate smiled faintly.

  "Kate. I am so very sorry for your loss." He sighed. "He was a good man." He paused. "Are you coping?"

  "I'm having to." She looked up. "I am closing the stables."

  "I had been told, I can understand that. Your mum told me you will be moving back home."

  "In a couple of weeks, yes." She blinked. "I will miss the place." Sobs racked her body. Dr Netwon embraced her tightly.

  "Be strong lassie."

  ***

  Kate looked around the quiet yard, Now, a week after the funeral most of the horses had been sold and a for sale sign stood at the end of the driveway, she turned as she heard a vehicle approaching, it was a black Range Rover. The car pulled up beside Kate and a young woman stepped out. "Can I help you?"

  "I am Jemma Thompson."

  "Yes and?" Kate shrugged and started to walk away from the woman.

  "Your husband owes me money and I want payment." Kate stopped dead in her tracks; she took a deep breath before turning around slowly. "Your husband took out a loan with me."

  "My husband is dead."

  "What a shame." Jemma spoke without emotion. "So now you own me money."

  "As you will see." Kate gestured around the yard. "Most of the horses, tack and equipment has been sold. I am in the process of closing down this establishment."

  "Well it seems I came at the right time for payment then."

  Kate shrugged. "You know, there is one thing we have not sold as yet." She invited Jemma to walk with her; they stopped at a low wall. As Jemma glanced over the wall, Kate pushed her hard. Jemma squealed as she fell, landing heavily in the sea of black mud that surrounded the muckheap. "Miss Thompson you may have as much shit as you like. Now piss off!"

  Jemma slowly stood up, her body covered in stinking muck which dripped from her body. "You have not heard the last of me!"

  "Oh, I really don't care. I have lost everything; you can have anything that is left." Kate paused for a moment. She looked around seeing a movement in the distance. "Adam?" She shook her head, mistaken before walking away.

  ***

  Adam smiled. "Well done Kate!"

  ***

  Adam watched the woman from across the yard. This had been what he had been doing most of the time since the yard had fallen silent. The horses were gone and he had watched, with tears in his eyes, the staff leaving for the last time.

  Susan had tried to goad him, telling him how it was all over, how he had failed and how Kate would leave him soon. Adam had done something he had never done before; he spun around and punched the frustrating girl with a powerful right hook. She crashed to the concrete of the yard yelping and moaning that he had hurt her. He had not seen her for some days after that, but eventually she reappeared from out of the shadows from where she had been hiding.

  Adam slowly walked towards her, his body leaving no shadow in the early afternoon sun. The woman looked up as he approached. "Okay, tell me, who are you?"

  "Sorry?" She frowned. "Am I talking to you?" She reached up and rubbed her cheek, the bruising still visible.

  "Just answer the question?"

  "Forceful...” She smiled. "My name is Susan Thompson; I worked at this God-awful place until I had to leave."

  "You had to leave?" Adam shook his head. "Well you are still here."

  "Oh smarty pants." She smiled. "I killed the owner’s horse and accidently killed myself. They thought it was suicide but it was just an accident." Susan paused. "Doesn't that shock you?"

  "I think death has put me past being shocked. I am just ever so tired." Adam sighed. "So why did you kill her horse?"

  "I didn't like her."

  "And that's it? You didn't like her so you killed her horse and yourself?"

  "It's not like that!"

  "So what is it like?"

  "Well..." Susan frowned. "Look she was nasty to me."

  "In what way? Go on, how was she nasty to you?"

  "She..." Susan stuttered. "Look she just wasn't very nice. She threatened to sack me."

  "Why did she do that?"

  "She just didn't like me!" Susan snapped.

  "Really? And what did you do?"

  "Me?" Susan looked shocked. "I may have played a few little pranks, but they were harmless."

  "So she told you off for playing pranks on people and you killed her horse and committed suicide." Adam shook his head. "That sounds perfectly reasonable to me."

  "It wasn't like that... You weren’t there..." Susan whined.

  "No... Thank goodness for that." Adam walked away.

  "Wait... No... You don't understand!" Susan stamped her foot, shouting after him.

  ***

  Linda shuddered as she stepped out of the Land Rover; she had offered to come back to the stables one last time with Kate. It was to be the last time for both of them as the land had b
een sold and would soon become a housing estate and all memories of the yard would be lost forever. Kate had called Linda to tell her the fate of what had once been her life, it meant closure for them both but there was sadness also. Linda looked across the main yard, the stables were empty but it still brought back painful memories even forty years on.

  "Are you okay?" Kate stepped beside Linda.

  "I could ask you the same. We both lost people here." She gulped. "I have not seen this place in so many years but I can still feel it as if it was yesterday."

  Kate nodded, she knew exactly what she meant, she could still see the ambulance leaving the yard carrying away her husband, the many happy years and so many memories were pushed back but she still felt that some part of Adam was still here, she felt some guilt for selling up and allowing the stables to be demolished but there was nothing for her here now, this visit was as much to confirm that as anything else. She walked across the yard and leaned on one of the stable doors.

  "Tell me about her." Kate paused. "What was her name again?"

  "Susan." Linda sighed. "She was a troubled girl, her father owned this land and so had a hold over me. He was a bullyboy and she was not much better, it was clear that she was here to get out from under his feet and she had to be looked after. I was just her baby-sitter. She was a good rider and, when she wanted to she could be a nice person but so much of the time, she was just a bitch. I never knew what was wrong with her; she was destructive, rude, abusive and just nasty. The fights I had with the rest of my staff, they hated her and I spent my time defending her first because of the stables but more and more it was for her. I just felt sorry for her, it was clear that she didn't know how to act, she had obviously been bullied all her life and didn't know how else to act. I tried to calm my staff, I defended her and tried everything I could to save her, but she threw everything I did back in my face."

  "So what happened?"

  "It just kept getting worse. I had tried everything." Linda looked up. "I cried myself to sleep almost every night; I didn't know what I could do. Some of my staff took matters into their own hands and attacked her." Linda gulped. "They hurt her, that was terrible but what happened next was worse. I went to see her father, trying to apologise and he threatened me. Then the girl who had led the attack on Susan had an accident."

  "An accident?" Kate shrugged. "Do I guess by how you said that you don't believe it was an accident?"

  "Her horse’s girth was cut and she was seriously injured, she could hardly walk afterwards, it ruined her life. I had to get rid of Susan."

  "You think she had done it?"

  "I knew she had, she told me she had done it. Of course, the police said it was just an accident, but the Thompson family had that sort of control over them. I sacked her, I just had to and so that night she went out and poisoned my horse. I went into the stable the next morning and found them both dead."

  "What?" Kate gasped

  "She killed herself also. It was the final punishment, I am sure she knew what would happen, the next thing I knew I woke up in the foundation pit for a motorway bridge, if the weather had not been so bad that day I would still be there. So she had her way. She took away everything I had, she destroyed me."

  "I am so sorry." Kate embraced her.

  "I just wish I could have stopped her, she was so young and for her to kill herself." Linda sobbed. "I would have done anything to stop her doing that. I had tried everything to help her; all I wanted was to make her better. I really thought that she could change. How stupid was I?" Linda shrugged. "But it was impossible, over the last forty years it was almost like I lost a daughter. I would have done anything at all."

  "But with all she did?"

  "Can you imagine how I feel? I failed that young lady, I thought that I could have helped her stopped what eventually happened." Linda sniffed. "I have spent years wondering what I could have done differently. It never leaves me, and that is why I never come back to here and I fought to keep my daughter away but I suppose fate brought her here, I never told her what had happened to me her; it had been so long ago. Now it is over, I can't say I will be sad to see this place knocked down. Sorry Kate."

  "No I can understand." Kate sighed. "I will be sad to see it gone, but I suppose life has to go on."

  Adam watched as Kate as she walked across the yard and stood beside her. Kate's only reaction was to zip her jacket up against the cold and to look nervously around.

  "I know you are here Adam." Kate spoke aloud. He spun around standing before her. "I have to leave now, it's all over. I love you and will miss you always." She wiped her eyes. "Thank you for everything, you were an amazing man." She gulped. "Come on Linda, let's go."

  Adam reached for her, trying to stop her but his hand just passed through her body, she paused, shuddering. "I love you Kate." He watched as slipped behind the wheel of the old Land Rover but was helpless as she drove away, obvious to his presence. Adam fell to his knees sobbing.

  Susan looked on. She had listened to all that Katherine had said, for the first time pain reached her heart, Linda had tried to save her. She suddenly did not know what to think, she can't have got her life this wrong? Doubt started to engulf her. Looking across the yard she saw Adam weeping, she had caused this. She pushed the idea from her mind.

  ***

  "You know that you won't see Kate again." Susan sneered. "She will not come back, they never do. People leave here and don't return."

  "You never left." Adam shook his head.

  "I never had a chance." She snapped. "I was trapped here."

  "You trapped yourself. I heard what Linda said, she tried to help you, and it didn't sound like someone who hated you. To be honest you sounded like a spoilt brat who just did nothing by made trouble, and then, when you had gone too far, when she had no choice you threw a tantrum and ended up killing yourself."

  "Shut up! Shut up!" Susan wailed. "You don't know... How could you know what happened?"

  "I can see what happened. You ruined Linda's life; in fact, you ruined all of their lives. And then Caroline, what did you do to her?" Adam snarled, Susan looked away. "I don't know what happened but I am guessing that you are the reason that I am here and why Kate's life has been ruined."

  "They hated me..."

  "You heard Linda when she was here with Kate, she cried herself to sleep, and she was desperate to help you. I'll say it again it does not sound like hate to me."

  "I was bullied all my life, it wasn't my fault!"

  "So whose fault was it?" Adam sighed. "You have control over your destiny, I was bullied, it was scary and frightening but I didn't decide just to hurt the people around me, in the end I turned to them and they helped me. You can blame nobody anyone else, your life is your own." Adam grabbed hold of Susan's hand. "But of course you threw your life away. You were the silly girl who didn't grow up; you never had time to learn. How many friends did you have?"

  "I never had any friends, who would be my friend?" She frowned. "I just pushed people away."

  "I'll be your friend." Adam smiled.

  "What?" Susan gasped. "You don't mean that!"

  "Why not. It seems that it will just be you and me. I don't hold grudges, life is too short." Adam paused. "Well it was too short."

  "But I killed you?"

  "Magpie killed me, it was an accident."

  "Magpie spooked when he saw me. I saw it all happen; it was almost as if it was in slow motion. I saw him hit you..." She stopped. "Sorry, it was horrible and then you were here. I knew what had happened, and I realised that I had done it"

  "What? How did he see you?"

  "It had started sometime before, it was Caroline, she was the key. I have always had a link with her; I am guessing it is because she was Linda's daughter. But a couple of months ago I suddenly found myself in her dreams."

  "In Caroline's dreams?"

  "I know it sounds weird, but this night I was just suddenly there, she was having a dream about the Olympics and I was
just suddenly there. Of course, I turned everything bad, the dream became a nightmare and the worse it was the more I was able to control Caroline to the point I had total control over her, even when she was awake. So of course I had a field day, I played stupid pranks and hurt people." Susan suddenly stopped and fell to her knees. "Oh God I hurt you! Oh, I am sorry. I was so stupid."

  "I forgive you." Adam smiled.

  "How the hell can you just forgive me? Look at what I did!" She sobbed. "I destroyed everything, I hurt so many people. Oh God... How stupid was I?"

  "How can I forgive you?" Adam crouched down. "You did nothing wrong, what happened to me was an accident."

  "It was an accident caused by me..." She gulped. "I killed you..." Her voice faded away. "I did it all. I hurt people; I killed Linda’s horse, the pain and suffering I caused." She collapsed onto the yard sobbing.

  "Do you know why?"

  "Why?" Susan glanced up. "If I knew that..." She shook her head. "I was stupid, I was a spoilt brat who had always had her own way and I was rebelling in the only way I thought I could." Suddenly the words spilled from her, as if a dam had been breached. "I was just trying to hurt people because I had been hurt myself, I thought that would help. It just made things worse." She sighed. "I have seen the pain I caused, the agony, lives ruined. Good people hurt because of me. I regret that." She stopped and looked towards Adam. "I never regretted my death. I didn't understand it, but I never regretted it, but now." She stopped, looking down at the floor. "The hurt I caused, I regret that. I ruined so many lives selfishly. I would give anything for them to have never met me, for me to have never caused them that agony." She took a deep breath, sitting quietly now on the cold concrete. "I wasted my life, I squandered it and I deserve all I got, but none of the people I hurt did. I am so sorry for what I did to them. Perhaps if I had been a better person, or better still had never existed..." She sighed. "But I am dead already; it is not like I can kill myself again, that didn't work. Even when I was dead I still caused misery to people."

  "But you understand now what you did?" Adam smiled faintly.

  "Yes." She stood up facing Adam. "I do. I suddenly have the clarity I needed all those years ago. Stupid isn't it, suddenly I get it and it is too late to stop the damage... Thank you Adam!" She hugged him. "Why could I not be like you?"