The Secret

by Maggie Cole

  “Then where did you learn?”

  His eyes searched mine. “Where did you learn?”

  I was confused.

  Collin reached out for my hand. “You don’t realize how much you negotiate, do you?”

  I shook my head.

  “Keri, Sam, all your other clients? Anytime you get others to do what you want, it involves some negotiation. What you did to get Keri and Sam to do what they needed to yesterday was nothing short of a miracle. The first meeting with Keri, when you knew exactly how to get him to pay attention, that was...” Collin shook his head.

  “What?”

  “Well, for one, the sexiest thing I ever saw in a conference room.”

  “Ha, ha!”

  Collin wasn’t done. “But it was one of the smartest. That’s when I knew you were a force.”

  “I thought you were upset with me.”

  Collin smiled, stroked my hand with his fingers, “Jealous that you had that kind of relationship with Keri...oh, and totally trying to hide my hard-on.”

  I giggled.

  Collin became serious again. “Meg, you seem to think you’re worth less because you don’t have a college degree. Most people who have one can’t do an eighth of what you can do. It’s just a piece of paper. Stop attaching your worth to it.”

  I sat there quietly. I never viewed it that way before. I always saw my lack of education as a reminder about how I grew up.

  The waiter came over and put our food down. Collin ordered us another round of sake then sat back. I could tell that he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure.

  I waited for him to speak. After a few minutes, I said, “Whatever you want to say, just say it.”

  He hesitated.

  “Go on,” I encouraged him.

  He grabbed both my hands and rubbed his thumbs on them, “I know that those articles are unfair and full of lies, but maybe the truth being out there about your past is a good thing.”

  I tensed up. “How could it possibly be a good thing?”

  “Maybe you’ll realize that everyone has baggage of some sort and people love you for you. What happened wasn’t your fault. It’s not a reflection of who you are. It doesn’t diminish your light in any way.” Collin’s eyes were so intense, with so much belief in me that I needed to look down.

  He reached across the table and gently pushed my chin up. “Now you can be free.”

  I didn’t say anything. I needed to process what he was suggesting.

  We ate in silence for a bit.

  Was Collin right? My past was embarrassing. Could having the truth out in public possibly set me free?

  “So what’s your baggage?” I realized he knew mine, but I didn’t know his.

  The negotiator came out, then as quickly as it appeared, it left, and was replaced by vulnerability.

  “I had a great childhood, mine’s adult baggage.”

  I grabbed his hand, “Go on.”

  He shifted in his seat and took a heavy breath. “Accomplishing my dream then realizing that I wasn’t good enough for it anymore. Marrying someone I knew wasn’t right because I was too big of a coward to call it off. Being a shitty husband and ignoring things for so long because I wasn’t in love, but I didn’t want to fail again.”

  “Weren’t you cheated on?”

  “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t play my role in our marriage issues. I did my part to drive her to cheat on me.”

  “What do you mean?” How could he blame himself for his ex-wife cheating on him?

  Collin sighed. “I was never home. When I was, I wasn’t present. She didn’t want me, and I could see that. But instead of fighting for her, I stopped giving her attention. It was as much my fault she cheated as it was hers.”

  Never before had I heard a man take responsibility for his part in a failed marriage, much less for cheating. I tried to process everything Collin had shared.

  After a few minutes, I asked him, “Do you still miss basketball?”

  He smiled. “Everyday. I’ll always have a love for the game.”

  “I can understand that. But you’re good at what you do. You’re the best, and everyone knows that.”

  Collin smiled. “Meg, do you know why I was so afraid for Keri to find out about us?”

  “Yes. You didn’t want to lose him as a client.”

  “But why I didn’t want to lose him as a client?” Serious Collin was back.

  I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head.

  “Part of my baggage about losing my pro status is what drives me to want to be the best. I don’t want to fail. Yes, I want to be successful for myself, but I don’t want to fail my clients. The path Keri was going down was going to eliminate his chance to merchandize, and I knew that if I couldn’t get it done that he was going to struggle to find another agent who could. I'm not being arrogant when I say this, but if he walked away from me, then I don’t think another agent would be able to fight for him. He had too much going against him. Does that make sense?”

  “One-hundred percent! It’s one of the things I love about you. You care. Most of the agents we deal with only want to get the deal done for the money.”

  Collin agreed.

  The waiter came back and inquired if we wanted dessert.

  I shook my head and smiled at him. “Not here."

  “Check, please.”

  The waiter handed Collin the bill, and Collin pulled out his credit card. After Collin signed the receipt, we stood up, and he helped me into my coat.

  We walked arm and arm, to the front of the restaurant where the bodyguards were waiting.

  Collin grabbed my hand and put his arm around my shoulders, then guided me through the sea of paparazzi. We made it to the car quickly.

  “You okay?”

  “Yes.” I moved closer to him and put my hand on his thigh.

  He put his arm around me.

  “Thanks for dinner. I’m glad you made me leave the house.” I meant it. He was right. We didn’t need to hide.

  He leaned down and kissed me. “You make me so happy, Meg.”

  I kissed him back.

  Unlike the day before, our tongues lazily moved as we explored each other. There were no negotiations; only Collin and me, two people in love who enjoyed one another.

  "I like going out with you," I whispered between kisses.

  "I'm sorry I didn't take you out before. I always wanted to," he whispered back.

  "Shh," I whispered, not wanting to think about anything in the past that could have kept us apart. The only thing I wanted to think about was our future together.

  I straddled him and pulled him into me. I felt his body on mine and enjoyed the way his hands stroked my back. A happiness I hadn't felt with anyone else before surged through me, and I knew, without a doubt, that Collin Corwin was the only man I would ever want.

  We made out the entire way home, whispering our love for each other in slow, drawn-out kisses. We hardly realized when the car finally stopped. Collin smiled at me, stepped out, grabbed my hand, and pulled me out after him. But he had forgotten to wait for the bodyguards.

  The paparazzi were everywhere, and Collin quickly realized his mistake. He put on his negotiator's face and grabbed me close to his body. As he pulled us through the shouting crowd of lights, I kept my head down to the ground. When we got near the stairs, I thought we had made it, but then I picked my head up and saw his face.

  Standing at the top of the stairs, with a black hoodie over his head, was my ex-fiancé, the abuser, staring back at me. His eyes lit up like the night sky, high on evil, and who knows what else. My smile fell from my face, and I tugged at Collins's arm. I stopped, totally paralyzed, and stared at him in horror.

  Still on the stairs, he pulled out a gun, “Meg, I’ve been looking for your slutty ass,” and pulled the trigger.

  The last thing I remember was Collin pushing me down. I heard the blast of the gun before everything turned black.

  20

  Megr />
  Liv's voice was repeating my name, and I slowly opened my eyes, then shut them when fluorescent lights glared back at me.

  My head pounded against my skull, and I tried to figure out where I was. The bright whiteness continued to blind me, and I closed my eyes several times as Liv, and the room came into focus.

  "Liv, where am I?" I grabbed her arm as panic flew through me.

  She was crying. "Meg!" She hugged me.

  "Liv?"

  I tried to sit up and it felt like someone slapped my brain.

  "Shh… Don't move too fast."

  "Liv, tell me what's happening." My heart raced.

  She rubbed my arm. "You're in the hospital."

  Hospital? Why am I in the hospital?

  "You don't remember?" Her blue eyes panicked.

  I took a large breath and closed my eyes. Images of Collin as he put my shoes on rushed to me. Then dinner, paparazzi, and our heavy makeout session in the car.

  Then, I saw the face in the black hoodie and remembered the gun.

  "Did I get shot?" I put my hands on my head and wondered if that was why it hurt so bad.

  Liv shook her head; fresh tears fell from her face. "No, you have a concussion from when you hit your head on the pavement...when Collin..."

  She couldn't finish. A wave of cold rushed through my body.

  "Collin," I whispered.

  Liv shook her head as tears fell.

  I sat up in bed. Severe pain rushed to my head, and I grabbed Liv. "Where's Collin?"

  "He's in surgery. Three bullets hit him before the bodyguards took down the shooter." She put her arms around me again.

  My shaking hand flew to my mouth, and my chest tightened. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Liv pulled me into her. I started sobbing and shook my head. "No!"

  She tried to hold me tighter, but I pulled out of her grip. "Where is he?"

  "In surgery," she repeated.

  "Take me there."

  "You can't go into the operating room. You need to stay here. You're seriously injured."

  I moved off the bed and quickly sat back down as dizziness overtook me, and a freight train shot through my brain.

  "Meg lay back down."

  "No. Get me wherever the waiting room is. I mean it, Liv."

  "You can't—"

  "What if Tom was in surgery right now?"

  She paused and thought. "Let me find a wheelchair at least. And you need some blankets."

  "I'll wear my clothes."

  She stared at me.

  "What?" I asked as dizziness rushed to me again.

  "You can't wear those clothes ever again, Meg. They’re covered in blood."

  "Collin's blood?" I whispered.

  Her eyes scared me. She quietly stated, "He's lost a lot. The entire Volts and Zags teams are here giving blood right now."

  My insides crumbled. I tried to stand up again, but dizziness overcame me.

  "Meg, you need to lay down."

  I glared at her. "Collin's in surgery. I'm not staying here."

  “You really should stay here and rest. You can’t do anything while he is in surgery,” Liv tried again to convince me.

  I thought of Collin, and started crying again just as Keri walked in. He quickly rushed to my side and pulled me into his arms while I sobbed. "Keri, you have to get me to Collin."

  He didn't argue with me. He grabbed a blanket, wrapped me up in it and carried me down the hall, onto the elevator, and through some other halls. I buried my head in his neck. I prayed this was a nightmare. Liv stayed by my side.

  We finally arrived in the waiting room. I was overwhelmed at the sight of so many people, all there to do what they could to help Collin.

  Charlie Cantor, and a few of the Volts sat on a couch. They moved so Keri could lay me down. Charlie's eyes were bloodshot, and he gave me a sympathetic smile. I stared at him, as memories about Collin teaching him, in our first meeting, flooded my brain. Fresh tears came to my eyes.

  Liv brought the pillows, and I curled up on the couch in a ball, as terrified thoughts ran through my head, along with extreme pain.

  Sam pulled up a chair next to me and stroked my hair.

  Tom sounded angry on the phone. "Phil, the bodyguards should have been there. Find out how they were out of the car without them. Someone fucked up, and I want to know who."

  He turned and saw me. He hadn't realized that I was in the room. "Meg, I'm sorry…"

  I closed my eyes. I wasn't sure if it was my nerves or head, but I shook with cold.

  "Liv, more blankets. Keri, go to the gift shop and get Meg whatever you can find that is warm," Tom instructed.

  Everyone did as they were told.

  It wasn't too long before I wore a sweatshirt and yoga pants, and more blankets were piled on me. I eventually stopped shaking and sat up.

  I sat half in shock, half fuzzy with my concussion.

  This was my fault. I had escaped Matt years ago, but I should have known that the crazy bastard would come after me someday. And Collin jumped in front of bullets for me.

  More tears fell. I imagined Collin's body, lying on a cold metal table in surgery because of my past. It caused my stomach to flip once more, and I tried to stand up. Sam picked me up and raced me to the trash can, but I contained my nausea.

  I leaned back against Sam. I was dizzy, sweating, and my head pounded. I felt like I was going to collapse.

  "Easy there," he whispered.

  I heard Liv say, "She has a serious concussion and shouldn't be out here."

  "I know," Tom replied.

  "Don't make me leave," I whispered to him. "Please, Sam, don't make me leave."

  "I got you," he whispered back. "Let me get a doctor to check on you though. Don't worry. I got your back."

  “Okay. Thanks,” I whispered.

  Sam led me back to the couch. He wrapped me in blankets, put my pillows on his lap, and laid me down.

  Keri came back and sat in the chair next to the couch.

  Liv and Tom walked over. "Meg, I think you need to go back to your room. You can't do anything here. You need medical attention and—"

  Keri cut Tom off and gave him a stare down. "The doctor is on her way."

  Tom glared back at Keri. "Good."

  A doctor came out. "Mrs. Corwin?"

  My head snapped and sent a fresh rush of pain throughout my brain.

  "Easy," Sam whispered.

  "Ms. Corwin," a pretty brunette corrected her.

  Confusion engulfed my face.

  "Collin must have forgotten to change his emergency contact," Sam whispered. "They called her when he was brought in. Breathe."

  I took a big breath.

  "Dr. Connor." He took his hand and shook hers.

  "Stacey Corwin."

  "Your husband—"

  "Ex," she corrected him.

  The doctor cleared his throat. "Sorry. We've taken one of the bullets out of your ex-husband. He has two more lodged in his muscles that we need to remove. He's lost a lot of blood, and we are trying to remove them, so we don't damage the nerves. We've already given him several transfusions, and he will need more. He's stable right now, and we are hoping to keep him that way. We will keep you informed on his progress."

  "Okay. Thank you."

  Tom walked over to where the doctor stood. "Is there anything we can do?"

  "Keep the donations coming in." He pointed to the players.

  Tom picked up his phone. “Ryan. Did you hear about Collin?"

  Pause.

  "Yeah, I need you to get your guys down here now to donate blood."

  More pause.

  "Thanks, man. See you soon."

  Stacey walked over to Tom. "Collin's family should be notified. We aren't on the best terms..."

  "Give me the numbers, and I'll call."

  She put her arm on Tom's in an appreciative way. "Thanks."

  Seriously? Collin is in surgery, and she can't even call his family? What a bitch.

  I gla
red up at Sam.

  "Keep breathing," he muttered and stroked my hair.

  A female doctor came out and walked over to me with a chart in her hand.

  "Ms. Grail?"

  I raised my head slowly.

  She pulled up a chair and put out a hand to shake mine. "Dr. Nemmer."

  I put my hand in hers.

  "Looks like you have a pretty bad concussion and some bruises on your body. We are worried about internal bleeding from how hard you hit the ground."

  I stared at her. I hadn't realized that I was bruised. My head hurt so bad it was all I could think about.

  "You really should go back to your room."

  Sam cleared his voice. "All due respect, doctor, it isn't going to happen. What can we do out here to help Meg?"

  The doctor glared at him. "A concussion isn't anything to play around with—you should know that from football. And she is at high risk for internal bleeding."

  "What will you do for her in her room that you can't do out here?" Keri asked.

  The doctor let out a big sigh. "Any abdominal pain or swelling can be a sign of internal bleeding. At the very least, we should check on her every hour on the hour. Light-headedness, dizziness, or fainting can also be a sign, but that can happen from the concussion as well."

  Liv was behind the couch. "Meg, Collin wouldn't want you risking this."

  "I'm staying here."

  "Where can we get the hourly checks?" Sam asked.

  I turned to give him a dirty look.

  "You want to stay out here? I'll help. But no way you aren't getting checked hourly."

  "Agreed,” Keri chimed in.

  I shot him a nasty look as well.

  Tom chimed in. "Appreciate your help, Dr. Nemmer. Any way we can get a rollaway out here?"

  She eyed Tom, then Keri, and Sam. I think she realized she was fighting a losing battle.

  "I'll get you the bed, but don't miss the hourly checkups. They can do them from the rollaway." She stood up, not happy with any of us.

  "Thank you, doctor." Tom turned to Keri and Sam. "Set your alarms—I want her checked every forty-five minutes."

  After several checkups, Collin was still in surgery, and we were all antsy. So many people were coming and going.

  Tom had called every professional and amateur team he had connections with, and athletes from every sport all over the New York area had rushed to the hospital to donate blood.