Soul Mates

by Donald Hanley

  “As soon as I figure out where to go and what to do,” I sighed. “Thanks for your help.”

  “Let me know what you end up doing,” she said, retrieving her soldering iron. “I need to plan our next date.”

  “You’re taking turns?”

  “He asked me where I wanted to go next time. That makes it my turn, right?”

  “I think he just wanted your input. Whoever organizes it pays for it,” I reminded her.

  “Oh. Well, never mind then.”

  She turned her back on me and bent over her chain. I took the hint and left. My next step was to look up the schedule for the Movieplex but I was too late. Both laptops were already occupied by the demon sisters.

  Lilith heard my frustrated sigh and smiled to herself. “Peter,” she said, not taking her eyes off the screen, “we were just talking about you.”

  “You were?” That wasn’t good news.

  “Dame Collins revealed that thou dost intend to take up residence with Melissa,” Daraxandriel said. She didn’t look at me either. “She was sorely perturbed.”

  “It was just a suggestion,” I assured her hastily. I didn’t want her thinking I wanted to leave her. “Melissa was looking for a roommate and asked me if I was interested.”

  “It’s not a bad idea,” Lilith said. “After all, we can’t keep banishing you to the other room every night.”

  “That’s just temporary,” I reminded her tersely. “You’re not going to be staying long, remember?”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. I’m human now so I’m pretty much out of a job. I need a place to live now.”

  “You can get another job!”

  “Not without an ID and proof of citizenship. Left or right here?”

  “Let us bear westwards,” Daraxandriel suggested. “I have not traveled that way afore.”

  “How did you get all those credit cards then?” I demanded.

  “Using skills I no longer have. Don’t worry, Peter, I’m sure you’ll enjoy living with Melissa, although you still might not get any sleep.” Her voice oozed with salacious amusement.

  “I’m not moving in with her,” I told her. “Mom and Dad will never go for it.”

  “Oh, we already convinced them it was a good idea.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “We did remind thy parents of thy maturity and courteous nature,” Daraxandriel explained absently, concentrating on the scene in front of her. “They were assured that no unseemly behavior would transpire.”

  “And they believed you?”

  “We can be very persuasive,” Lilith chuckled. “Do you think that trail leads anywhere interesting?”

  “Let us venture forth and see,” Daraxandriel said, sending Dara Alexander through a narrow gap in the trees.

  “Hold on a second! Dara, you want me to leave?”

  Daraxandriel shot a glance at me and then hunched her shoulders. “It is for the good, Peter Simon Collins,” she said quietly. “No longer wilt thou need to avert thine eyes from my true self.”

  “Dara, I love your true self! I love whatever form you’re in!” She shook her head stubbornly and I glared at Lilith. “You did this,” I gritted through my teeth. “This is your fault!”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Peter,” she said smugly. “I’m just a regular human now, just like you.”

  “You’re nothing like me!”

  “That’s not a bad thing,” she laughed quietly. “What’s that up ahead?”

  “A castle, prayhap? Abide and I shall investigate.”

  “No, let’s just walk in. Fortune favors the bold.” She looked at me when she said that and I wanted to knock that smirk off her face.

  Instead, I sat myself on my bed and fumed in silence. I didn’t dare leave the two of them alone anymore. It was obvious that Lilith wanted me to move out so that she could do whatever she wanted with Daraxandriel, up to and including handing her over to the demon hunter.

  Round three was clearly a lost cause so I had to make the first move in round four. Unfortunately, I couldn’t ask Daraxandriel anything about a potential date, not with Lilith sitting there. Instead, I pulled up the movie listings on my phone and tried to guess what sort of show she’d be interested in.

  I doubted she’d relate to anything with robots in it but I wasn’t sure she’d understand all the pop culture references in a typical rom-com. I wondered if there were any Shakespeare remakes playing anywhere, which then got me thinking about theater productions.

  My phone pinged while I was scanning the DFW arts pages, announcing a text from Justin. I pulled it up, hoping he had some decent date suggestions, and I was confronted with a long numbered list that spanned two entire screens. My mouth dropped open before I got even halfway through. I had a pretty active imagination but even I couldn’t conceive of how six-foot-six Justin and five-foot-nothing Ashley could possibly pull off most of these. Either he was making it all up or I had enough material to blackmail the two of them for the rest of their lives.

  I texted him back. Please tell me you and Ashley aren’t doing all these.

  Ping. Of course not. She’d have me arrested if I even showed her that list.

  Then what is all this?

  Things you should do with Dara. Make sure you take lots of pictures.

  Are you kidding me? I don’t even think #4 is physically possible.

  You’ll never know unless you try.

  I’m not interested in your twisted fantasies. I wanted to know what you and Ashley actually do on dates.

  Boring stuff, mostly. She’s not the adventurous type.

  Like what? I prompted. It was pretty clear that Ashley’s idea of fun and Justin’s were miles apart.

  The usual. Dinner, movies, Bible study, hiking.

  You do Bible studies on your dates? I couldn’t find an emoticon that properly conveyed the concept of incredulous.

  Only on Sundays.

  I sincerely doubted that would interest Daraxandriel. What was that about hiking? Where do you go?

  Mostly along the river. There’s a bunch of nature trails down towards Lake Whitney. Some pretty secluded spots. Perfect for picnics and other things. The leering eyes emoticon he included made it pretty clear what those other things entailed, although I strongly suspected Ashley wasn’t involved in any of them.

  I’ll bear that in mind. So nothing special, then?

  This is Hellburn, man. There’s nothing to do here.

  I couldn’t really argue with that. Okay, thanks.

  Let me know if you think of anything. Maybe I can talk Ashley into it too.

  Good luck with that. Later. I set my phone aside with a frustrated sigh. This was going to be a lot harder than I imagined.

  “Peter?” Dad poked his head in the room. “Ready to head out?”

  “Oh, um.” I glanced worriedly at Daraxandriel. The longer she was out of my sight, the deeper Lilith would sink her claws into her. “I’m kind of in the middle of something right now. Can we do this tomorrow?”

  “Rule number one in the department, Peter: if Rachel asks you to do something, you drop everything and do it. Come on, this won’t take long.”

  “But –”

  “Are you serious about this or not, Peter?” he asked sternly. “Being a policeman isn’t like working at the Dairy Queen. There are policies and procedures that have to be followed, whether it’s convenient or not. If you’re not going to be able to handle that, let’s not waste everyone’s time.”

  “No, you’re right. Sorry.” I got to my feet and followed him out. Daraxandriel and Lilith watched me go, one looking uncertain and the other pleased. I could only hope that round four wouldn’t be over by the time I got back.

  17

  Think about all the uniformed service personnel in your town or the surrounding area. Police, firefighters, and paramedics probably come to mind first. Next up would be the Armed Forces, especially if there’s a base nearby, plus the National Guard. Depending on where you liv
e, you might run across state troopers or the border patrol. You could even toss in the Postal Service and the Boy Scouts, if you’re so inclined.

  Now, which of these groups makes you nervous when you encounter them on the street? Odds are, the only one that makes your heart skip a beat if they make eye contact with you is the police. Why is that? What is it about the police that makes us fearful, even though we’re not doing anything remotely criminal?

  I have to believe it has to do with the fact that police officers are authorized to kill you. The key difference between the police and the military is that a soldier has to be ordered to shoot you, while a policeman can decide to do it entirely on his own. There are consequences to the use of deadly force, of course, but by then it’s too late.

  The police have a thankless job. They’re there to protect and to serve, as the motto says, but every time they step outside, they’re potential targets. Anyone they meet, no matter how young or innocent-looking, could be carrying a weapon and a grudge. They have to make literal life-and-death decisions in a split second. If they make a mistake, someone could die and that someone could be them.

  Ask yourself why any sane individual would want to be a policeman. It’s not because the uniform looks good on them or the paycheck has a lot of zeros on it. It’s certainly not because of all the respect and admiration they receive from the people they meet. It’s out of a genuine desire to do good. So give the next policeman you see a smile and a nod by way of thanks. It won’t kill you. Probably.

  Dad drove and I stared out of the side window, feeling overwhelmed. How did everything get so complicated all of a sudden? Dara’s a demon again, Lilith is corrupting her, someone’s out there looking for them, Olivia’s haunting me at night, Melissa wants me to move in with her, Mrs. Kendricks just wants me, and Susie’s dating an actual boy. Dad cleared his throat and I sighed. I recognized that sound. And now Dad wants to have a father-son chat. Great.

  “Peter,” he said carefully, “your mother and I were talking about this apartment idea.”

  “It’s all right, Dad,” I assured him. “I wasn’t really serious about it anyway.”

  “No, actually, we think it’s a good idea. You were right. You’re eighteen and you’re about to start a new job, maybe even a new career if it works out. It’s time you got out on your own.”

  “Seriously?” I asked doubtfully. It was one thing for Lilith to claim she’d talked Mom and Dad into it. It was completely different to hear Dad confirm it. “Aren’t you worried about what Melissa and I might, uh, do?”

  “Well, we’d feel better about it if you were rooming with another boy,” he admitted, “but Lilith made a good point. Your friendship with Melissa isn’t going to change just because you’re living under the same roof. Melissa’s a smart, level-headed young woman. If she trusts you, we should as well.”

  “Um, thanks, I guess?” It felt really weird to have Lilith helping me out. I had to remind myself that this was all part of her plan to get rid of me. “But I don’t know if it’ll work out. I mean, Dara and I are still together. She’s not going to be happy about me living with another girl.”

  “Really?” he frowned. “That’s odd. Dara told us you broke up.”

  “What? She actually said that?”

  “She was quite insistent about you moving in with Melissa. That’s really what sold Mom and I on this whole idea. You two can’t keep sleeping in the same bed if you’re not together anymore.”

  “We haven’t broken up!” I protested. “We’re just having a little disagreement right now.”

  “Peter,” he said reprovingly, “part of being a responsible adult is admitting the truth to yourself. If you try to pretend that things are okay with Dara, you’re just going to make it worse for both of you.” He shook his head firmly. “No, it’s settled. You’re moving in with Melissa. That’s the best solution for everyone.”

  “Oh my God,” I breathed. I wanted to bang my head against the dashboard. Lilith didn’t even need to be near me to screw up my life. Melissa was moving into the apartment this weekend, so that left me at most five days to get this whole mess straightened out somehow. I had no idea where to start.

  “Peter?” Dad asked. “Are you listening?”

  “What? Oh, sorry, did you say something?” I stammered. “I was, uh, thinking about – something.”

  “Apparently,” he said dryly. “I was saying that we should sit down with Melissa soon and sort out what you’ll need to bring.”

  “Bring?”

  “To the apartment. You know, dishes, furniture, that sort of thing. I mean,” he chuckled, “it’s not like you’ll be sleeping in her bed.”

  “Ha ha, no, of course not,” I said, feeling ill. The last thing I wanted to do right now was negotiate the fork allocations. I didn’t even know how many bedrooms her apartment had. If it’s just one, would that change Dad’s mind? I wondered hopefully.

  “Why don’t you invite her over for dinner tonight?” Dad suggested. “That’ll give us a chance to get to know her a little better and come up with a plan for the move.”

  “Well, she’s pretty busy these days,” I hedged. “She’s looking for a job to help pay for the apartment. In fact, if she doesn’t find one, I’m not sure if we’ll be able to –”

  My phone rang. It was Melissa, of course. I gave serious consideration to letting it roll over to voicemail but, given how things were going so far, I didn’t dare. I answered with a cautious “Hello?”

  “Peter!” she squealed in my ear. “Guess what?”

  “You got a job,” I said dully.

  “No, I got a job! Wait, how did you know?” she asked suspiciously.

  “Just a lucky guess,” I sighed resignedly. I was the luckiest guy in the world. The problem was, it was all bad luck. “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks! Daddy talked Mr. Franklin into letting me interview for an office position and he thought I was perfect! He hired me on the spot!”

  “Who’s Mr. Franklin?”

  “He’s Daddy’s financial advisor. He owns Franklin Investments downtown. That’s where I am now.”

  “That’s great. I’m happy for you.” I actually was, despite losing another excuse to cancel the move.

  “Thanks! So, Peter, I was thinking –” She paused long enough to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, or so I imagined. “Maybe we could go out and celebrate tonight after I get off work.”

  “Well, I don’t know,” I said. Spending more time with Melissa meant spending less time with Daraxandriel, the exact opposite of what I needed to be doing right now. “Things are a little hectic right now.” Dad waved his hand to get my attention. “Hang on a sec.”

  “Is that Melissa?” he asked.

  I thought about lying but I couldn’t remember if I’d mentioned her name during the conversation. “Um, yes,” I admitted.

  “Aren’t you going to tell her the good news?” I blinked at him. “About the apartment.”

  “Oh, um, I was going to save it for a surprise.”

  “You can’t just show up on her doorstep with a suitcase, Peter,” he admonished me. “There’s a lot to do between now and then.”

  “But –” He pointed at my phone and my shoulders sagged in resignation. I no longer had control over my own destiny. I was on a runaway train with no brakes, barreling towards a collapsed bridge across a bottomless chasm. “So, Melissa, good news,” I said glumly. “Mom and Dad said I could move in with you.”

  She gasped in my ear. “Peter! That’s wonderful!” I had to hold the phone away from my ear to avoid losing my eardrum. Even Dad winced. “Oh my God, there’s so much to do. I’ll have to let the leasing office know and you’ll need to fill out the paperwork. We’re going to have to go shopping for food and all the household stuff. Oh, I guess I should tell Daddy,” she mused. “No, I’ll do that afterwards.”

  “You haven’t told him?” I asked dubiously. “Does he even know about this?”

  “He’ll be fine,” she
assured me. “He can’t say no once you’re already moved in, right?”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Melissa.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it. This is so exciting! I’m going to have to do something special for this,” she mused to herself.

  “What do you mean, special?” I asked nervously. For a supposedly smart, level-headed young woman, Melissa seemed to have very poor impulse control.

  “You’ll see,” she teased. “I know just the thing. It’ll be a surprise.”

  “I don’t like surprises,” I reminded her.

  “You’ll like this one.”

  “That’s what you said the last time.” Dad waved again. “Hang on.”

  “Don’t forget about dinner tonight,” he said.

  “Right,” I sighed. “Mom and Dad want you to come over for dinner tonight. I told them you’re probably busy –”

  “Oh my God!” she exclaimed. “You’re inviting me over to meet your parents?”

  “You’ve already met them,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You’ve been over to my house a bunch of times.”

  “I know, but this is different! It’s almost like getting engaged!”

  “No, it’s nothing like that,” I told her hastily. “It’s not like that at all!”

  “Okay, I’ll be there. Is six o’clock okay?”

  “Um, sure, I guess.”

  “All right. Oh, Mr. Franklin’s out of his meeting, I have to go. Love you! Bye!” She hung up, leaving me staring at my phone.

  So this is what abject futility feels like, I told myself. It’s kind of liberating, really. I can just give up now and not worry about anything, because nothing I do makes any difference to what happens to me.

  “Here we are,” Dad announced.

  The Hellburn Police Department occupied a long one-storey building on Jefferson Street, west of downtown and right on the edge of the industrial district. It was close to the highway and the major cross-streets, which kept response times down, and its proximity to the warehouses discouraged burglary and vandalism. The building itself was pretty old but well-maintained, although Dad often complained about the air conditioning in the summer.