by Simon Davies
Moreover, they know that it’s probable that once you meet client as a result of an introduction by them the client will try to negotiate any future appointments directly with you, thus cutting out the agency. This is another reason why they prefer to collect a signing on fee from you.
In my experience and judging by the number of emails and calls I’ve received over years, on the whole male escort agencies fail to deliver: you are better off operating as an independent male escort.
However, if you’re hell bent on joining an agency then it would be wise to ask the following questions before you hand over any cash.
Can you guarantee a minimum number of bookings I’ll receive per week/month?
What’s your full postal address and landline telephone number? [a legitimate business should have no issue with telling you]
Can I speak with some of the guys already on your books? [and ensure that you choose, not the agency]
To summarise, the best way to avoid being scammed by an agency is to NOT join one. Unless, they’ll offer to add you to their books without any upfront cost to you.
BENEFITS AND PITFALLS OF BEING AN INDEPENDENT ESCORT
The key benefit of working as an independent male escort is flexibility, you work when you choose. For example, a few years ago I turned down three appointments - worth around £900 - simply because I was too busy enjoying the festive season with friends and family.
I hate letting money slip through my fingers. However, it’s not professional to meet clients either when you’ve had too much alcohol or are suffering from a bad hangover. Give your body 48 hours to recover from a heavy drinking session before you meet a client.
Imagine if I’d been referred the three appointments by an agency; do you think they’d have been as forthcoming with future work opportunities? I doubt it. In addition, an agency will expect you to advise them in advance what days and times you are available, which can be hard to adhere to especially if you have other commitments such as a full-time job, child care or a girlfriend.
A close second in terms of benefits is that as an independent you can decide what to charge for your services and, more importantly, whatever you make you keep. Rather than having to pay a fee of 20% or more to an agency.
Also, if you’re anything like me, in the early days, you’ll be short of cash and so every coin you earn is precious. Plus, you generally get the opportunity to speak with your potential client prior to meeting, so you can discover whether they are the type of person you wish to meet.
The main downside of operating independently is that you’re on your own. So, you’re solely responsible for marketing, appointment making, and security.
Being independent can be very frustrating initially because it takes a while to build a client base. But, don’t let this discourage you because once built you’ll have a regular stream of income.
In terms of help, you’ll find that the majority of your fellow male escorts will not give you any. Why? It’s simple really. There are millions of guys who believe they have what it takes to become a male escort. The first thing they do is to contact all the escorts they can find on Google. Result? A lot of cheesed-off escorts who only want to answer calls and emails from potential clients.
Imagine you owned a successful fruit and vegetable shop in a prime location. And one day you receive a call from another would-be fruit shop owner who wants to open up right across the street. Not only is he going to grab some of your customers, but he’s also asking you to lay bare the secrets of your success. What are you going to say to him? Yes, it’s probably not repeatable. Although there are pros and cons of working as an independent I firmly believe that it’s the best way to make money and retain control.
MAXIMISING YOUR EARNING POTENTIAL
Your earning potential is dependant on a number of factors such as: visibility, availability, mobility, geographical area covered, and being the right person for the job.
Visibility:
Visibility relates to being seen by your potential clients on the web or in print media. It’s a hugely important factor. How come? If a potential client doesn’t know you’re in business as an escort then you’re not even in the ball park. There’s no point in opening a shop selling ‘the-best thing-since-sliced-bread’ if no one can find it.
You’ll discover in the section ‘why the web’ how best to promote yourself even if you’re operating on a shoe-string budget.
Actually, that’s just reminded me to impress upon you that becoming a male escort is about setting-up your own business, regardless of whether you operate as an independent or are registered with an agency.
Therefore, the money you spend on developing your service should be viewed as an investment, which will eventually reap fantastic rewards.
Availability:
It’s been my experience that clients, more often than not, book in advance but in this game you should expect the unexpected. Therefore, don’t be surprised to receive a call a couple of hours before the client wants you.
Just think back for a moment to the appointments I was unable to complete over the Christmas period, it equated to £900 in lost revenue. Consequently, your availability is important if you want to build a profitable business.
It’s good practice to have a full outfit already washed and ironed for occasions when you get the phone call just as you’ve settled down with a pizza and six-pack to watch the football game.
You should also, if possible, leave any arrangements to socialise with your friends till the last minute because as sure as the setting of the sun each day you will get a call on Friday or Saturday from someone who wishes to book you that night.
Geographical Area:
The geographical area you are prepared to cover will give you a far greater scope to generate income, so give some thought to this and ensure that potential clients are aware.
No matter how far you are prepared to travel as a matter of practicality it may be impossible to get to an appointment 300 kilometres away in an hour! Be realistic.
Mobility:
In terms of mobility, if you can drive and have a car (or ride a motorbike) it will give you greater flexibility. Although, the majority of your appointments will normally be in or close to a city centre there will be times when travel by car is essential usually because of the limitations of public transport, especially at night.
If you currently can’t drive or can but don’t have access to a car then try to remedy this situation as soon as is possible. However, I don’t recommend getting into debt to purchase a fancy car. Either advise your clients that you only meet in city centre locations or ask a friend to drive you to appointments.
As already stated, you’ll find the majority of bookings will be arranged in advance. This neutralises the issue of your physical location. This is especially true where the potential client is a female, as they tend to spend hours, days or months deciding whether to book you or someone else. This is the opposite of the female escort industry where punters tend to arrange a meeting with the girls based on a sexual urge and a last minute decision.
Right person for the job:
People decide to hire a male escort for a number a reasons and when they’re searching for someone to fulfil that need or desire they must perceive you as being the right person for job. In order to win the business you need to convince them that you can and will be worth spending their hard-earned cash on. We’ll discuss how to improve your chances later, but suffice to say for now it’s imperative to convey the right impression.
FOUSING ON YOUR STRENGTHS
If you’re a bronzed Adonis with the mind of a genius and a high level of emotional intelligence, then you can skip this section. Otherwise, read on.
In order to become a successful male escort you have to be clear about what you can offer to potential clients. Essentially you’re a product for hire, albeit a living one. Therefore, you need to identify your Unique Selling Points (USPs). I found it useful to write a list of my own USPs,
so I recommend you do the same.
Don’t start scribbling just yet though because we’ll cover the whole business of features and benefits in the section titled ‘why words win business and how to use them effectively’.
The point I’m trying to make is that everyone has something that makes them stand-out from the crowd, so know your strengths and play to them. Moreover, don’t neglect being truthful to yourself about any weaknesses and work to improve them: Rome wasn’t built in a day.
CHOOSING A STAGE NAME
If you’d prefer to get into character like an actor and having a different name would help then go for it. Perhaps you believe your real name is too old fashioned or boring? Cool, change it for something more appropriate. Just make sure you remember to respond to it at all times otherwise you’ll come across as being a complete amateur. This is not the impression you want to give.
When I started it seemed natural to use a different name, probably because it’s what our female counterparts generally do. However, when I was invited to accompany a client on a foreign trip I had to give my real name, so tickets could be booked. From then on I started to use my real name, Simon. In addition, if you’re out with a client and you happen to bump into someone who knows you it avoids confusion.
WHO SHOULD YOU TELL?
From a security point of view it’s a good idea to let someone know where you’re going. On the other hand, do you tell your mother or best friend every time you go out on a date? Probably not.
My advice is that you be very select with who you tell, the fewer people the better. If you can possibly keep the secret to yourself then do so. People, especially close relatives, have a habit of telling others about secrets they have learned. This is more so when the secret is not about them. It could be years after you’ve finished escorting that someone you told blurts it out at the most inopportune moment.
Picture the scenario where your bride-to-be is stood by you in the church when the preacher asks, “Does anyone gathered here today know of any reason why… should not be joined in marriage?” And out if the blue someone shouts from the back ““The groom used to sleep with women for money”. Ouch!
In addition, some of your friends and family may well feel offended or disgusted by what you’re going. To many ordinary people escorting equals prostitution. In other words, getting paid for sex.
Being a male a escort is much more than simply offering sex for money. You’re a therapist, friend, and part-time lover. However, people do make snap judgements and can’t see beyond the popular perception what an escort does. Therefore, I believe it’s wiser to keep what you do to yourself. Otherwise you’ll spend your time justifying yourself to those who choose to take the moral high-ground.
Imagine yourself as a professional hitman. Would you go around telling everyone what you do to earn extra bucks? Erm, NO.
THREE CHARACTER TRAITS YOU MUST DEVELOP
Unless you are a brilliant actor, then I suggest the persona you present is as close to the real you as possible. I have purposely avoided saying ‘just be yourself’ because this may not be enough to hold the interest of your client. However, trying to come across as a James Bond 007 character without having the suave, sophistication and Aston Martin to back-up your claim will mark you as a complete Muppet.
So what characteristics should you be looking to display? Well, there are lots but I believe there are three key ones. Firstly, and perhaps most importantly it has to be “CONFIDENCE. This is about being self-assured and possessing an inner feeling that you’re a capable person in any given situation.
Generally speaking we lack confidence when subjected to a new experience. “How do I overcome it?” I hear your say. Easy. You fake it until you make it. It’s strange, but when you start to think and act like you’re already a seasoned professional your subconscious mind gets to work and your confidence level increases 100%.
A confident person will have a certain demeanour. For instance, when I walk into a hotel bar to meet a client I will walk with my head up, shoulders back, arms hanging loosely by my sides (think George W. Bush). I will look around the room in search of my client whilst walking, but my head will move slowly and purposefully – a sign of confidence.
If anyone makes eye contact I will hold it and maybe give a slight nod or raise my eyebrows as if to say, “hello, I’m a non-threatening alpha male.” If your client recognises you first then immediately you’ve given the impression you are a confident guy.
Confidence is a vital ingredient because most of your clients will have bags of the stuff, at least on the surface. So, you’re going to look pretty lame if you can’t at least match their level of confidence. But remember, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.
You will also meet clients who lack confidence and self-esteem. They will usually be ladies who have had a hard time with a former partner, leaving them emotionally scarred. One example that springs to mind was a recently divorced professional who’d been married for years to a husband who suffered difficulty with erections and as a consequence withheld sex. She hadn’t had sex for years.
In her job she was used to being confident and in control, running the show, but as a woman looking to have a healthy sexual experience she was a terrified nervous wreck. She needed me to be completely confident that one, I’d be able to perform (unlike her husband), and two, that she’d be able to relax and enjoy herself (if you catch my drift) with me. If I’d been at all unconfident I suspect I’d have lost her straight away.
Secondly, you need to portray yourself as being DECISIVE. Even though your clients are used to being in control at work, when out on a date with her male escort she’ll expect to be able to take a back seat and let you take the lead.
Let’s say you’ve just been sat down at your table in a restaurant. The waiter will probably pass you the wine menu. Politely ask your client if she prefers red or white, then order something without too much delay. This is being decisive. If she wishes to choose the wine she’ll tell you.
CHARISMA describes a person’s power to attract or influence people. I’m sure you’ve come across guys who have a certain aura about them - a presence that’s kind of unexplainable. Barack Obama has this quality, as did JFK.
“So, why is it important to develop?” you ask. It’s because your clients will feel drawn towards you like an iron filing to a magnet. Or like a moth to a flame. It implies irresistible and dangerous attraction.
Essentially, you should be aiming to appeal to your clients on an emotional rather than on a purely logical level. This is what having charisma does. Think back to the last time you bought something you wanted but didn’t really need. I bet you convinced yourself that you almost couldn’t live without it? Well, it was an emotional response that caused you to buy, not a logical one.
We’re all emotionally driven at some level, but when it comes to sex, women are especially so. Women tend not to have sex or go out with a man for purely physical reasons. Professional, high achieving women (your target market) may want to believe that they can overcome their emotional drive and hire an escort in a purely logical, unemotional manner, and may indeed appear to be doing so, but they are still subject to female hormonal responses (don’t we know it?). In other words, chemical reactions that drive their behaviour.
For example, when a guy cums he’s flooded with a hormone that makes him relax and fall asleep (Note: not to be recommended as an escort). When a lady cums, she’s flooded with the same hormone, which can have the same effect, but often floods her with feelings of tenderness so that she wants to be cuddled, wants to talk emotional and is often alert. (Apparently Mother Nature did that so that cavewoman could run off and find another caveman to inseminate her, so improving her chances of getting pregnant and continuing the species).
Anyhow, my point is if you understand that there is an emotional aspect to potential clients choosing you and coming back to you. So, allow for it and use it to your advantage.
Also, however
emancipated or liberated the woman, she’ll still be aware that culturally it’s still less acceptable for a woman to pay for sex/ male company, than it is for a man. Women on an unconscious level justify the physical (sleeping with you) by having some level of emotional involvement. (Cave woman needed to make sure caveman would hang around and provide for her and her children once she got pregnant).
Okay, so how do you develop charisma if you’ve not already got it? The fastest and most effective method, in my opinion, is to identify someone who you think is charismatic and simply model them. In other words, focus on what it is about your model that gives him or her that charismatic quality and copy it!
he person could be a friend, colleague, movie/sports star or a popular politician. This is not original thinking on my part, but one I’ve borrowed from a branch of psychology known as Neuro Linguistic Programming. Studying NLP is a great way to help you achieve the results you want in life.
This is not about getting and staying in character. It’s about self-improvement, becoming the type of person you want to be.
HOW TO DRESS LIKE A SEASONED PROFESSIONAL
It is without doubt essential to look like an impeccably groomed and styled individual. You never get a second chance to make a first impression. I know it’s a well-worn cliché, but one that’s so true.
I’m going to proceed on the basis that you’ve access to some money to spend on ‘looking the part’. Don’t worry about not having an outfit for every occasion because you can build-up your wardrobe as the money starts to roll in. In my experience the majority of your engagements will be informal. Consequently, the smart but casual look will be perfectly acceptable. By this I mean shoes, shirt, jeans, jacket.