Uber Bossy: A Small Town Romantic Comedy (Jobs From Hell Book 2)

by Marika Ray

  Did that just happen?

  “Here we are! Home sweet home.” Lenora pulled into the driveway of the hotel and killed the engine, a sunny grin back on her face like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

  We both climbed out of the car and I briefly entertained the idea of getting down on my knees and kissing the pavement, lucky to be alive. Even though I’d had the most unbelievable traveling day and while I was thoroughly relieved to be at my destination in one piece, I was reluctant to end my time with Lenora.

  She grabbed my bag out of the back before I had a chance to do it myself, slamming the trunk and handing it to me with a smile I couldn’t help but mirror.

  “Sunday morning at eight? Can you give me a ride back to the airport?” I heard myself ask.

  Her grin intensified and I felt that light-headedness come back. “You bet. Enjoy your stay in Hell.”

  Lenora winked and off she went, leaving me utterly charmed and discombobulated. Her car drove off and I watched it until it disappeared around the corner.

  “You gonna check in or just stand there staring at the ghost of my best friend’s car?” A saucy voice came from behind me.

  I spun around to see a raven-haired young woman poking her head out the front door to the hotel. Her knowing smirk, hinting that I was obsessed with Lenora, grated on my nerves. She clearly knew nothing about me. I obsessed over no one.

  Especially a woman.

  Expressive brown eyes and sailor mouth be damned.

  3

  Lenora

  I snuck out of the house early, wanting to get on my way before Mom and Dad were up and about. Today was church day and explaining why I wasn’t attending would take too much time and effort. To keep the peace, I usually attended weekly, though my heart wasn’t always in it.

  Today my heart seemed to beat only for a handsome stranger in disguise. Jay had been much more talkative on Friday, leading me to discover another thing to like about him. He’d remained calm during the tow truck incident, which spoke well of his demeanor. Even my cursing didn’t seem to faze him. When he’d asked me to take him back to the airport, I couldn’t ignore the way my pulse quickened. I’d felt desire before, but never for a stranger…mostly for a large plate of cheesy fries.

  Maybe this time I could get some personal information out of him.

  And tell him to straighten his mustache if he wanted it to be believable.

  Figured I had enough time to hit up Coffee before picking up Jay at the hotel. My phone lit up with rapid-fire texts as soon as I slid behind the wheel, slowing me down.

  Amelia: Got your ride in the lobby checking his phone like a crack addict. You on your way?

  Lucille: Be careful, Lenora. The guy sounds as crazy as this town.

  Hazel: He sounds mysterious and dreamy…*wink face*

  I snorted out loud. Leave it to my girls to watch my back even if I didn’t ask them to.

  Me: Calm down, ladies. He’s just my ride.

  Amelia: Yeah, I’d ride that too. The man can fill out a suit, that’s for sure.

  I frowned.

  Me: Enough, ’Lia.

  Hazel: Me thinks Lenora is turning green… Does this mean a ménage à trois is off the table?

  Lucille: la-la-la…my virgin ears can’t hear this stuff!

  Amelia: Oh, please, Lucy. Bain’s screwed that up for you six ways to Sunday and that pun is intentional. You birthed a child, for God’s sake!

  Lucille: But I haven’t had a three-way so…title still holds!

  I laughed out loud as I put the car in reverse and backed down the driveway. These best friends of mine were entertaining as hell. Annoying too, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

  After making a quick stop for coffee—cream and sugar in equal abundance—I swung by the hotel. I climbed out of the car and into the lobby, intent on finding Amelia and giving her a squeeze, though I was also hyperaware of the tall dark-haired man on the couch whose head popped up the second I walked through the door.

  “Morning, Sunshine,” Amelia drawled as I wrapped her up in a hug.

  “Shut it,” I whispered in her ear. I didn’t need her continued poking about Jay.

  “Mhmm,” she hummed back, amusement on her face.

  I stuck my tongue out at her and then spun around with a smile on my face.

  “Hey, stranger! Ready to head to the airport?”

  His face drew up into a smile, the sight of which rearranged a few vital organs in my chest. The man had a dimple. Right there on one side of his mouth, just outside the reach of that weird, fake mustache.

  “Right on time.”

  Jay hopped up and grabbed his overnight bag, his tall form unfolding into a lithe, confident specimen of a man. And if I wasn’t mistaken, there was a twinkle in his gray eyes that lit a similar fire in me. But not in my eyes. Farther south.

  “Enjoy the ride, Jay. See you next time, huh?” Amelia’s loud voice cut into the moment he and I were having just smiling at each other.

  Jay blinked and slid on aviator sunglasses, hiding the gray eyes that seemed to have a direct line to that one delicious spot between my legs. I took a deep breath to steady my overheated body and maybe give myself some time to come to my senses. Jay was a virtual stranger who was probably here for nefarious purposes. Why else would he be wearing a disguise? No use getting all hung up on him. No way, no how was this situation going to turn out in my favor.

  I walked out of the hotel, calling over my shoulder and back on track with the business at hand. “Need to stop anywhere or straight to the airport today?”

  “Airport, please,” came the low, gravelly voice closer behind me than I expected.

  I inhaled sharply as a shiver—emanating from the region of my body that seemed to have woken from a long slumber—went up my back.

  Get ahold of yourself, Lenora.

  I opened the rear car door for Jay and quickly opened the driver’s side, needing to slide in and put the seat between us before I did something stupid. I clicked my seat belt into place and let out a yelp when a loud bang shook the car.

  My body and brain froze, my eyes wide. A strangled noise came from the back seat as Jay took in the craziness with me. A large orange and white striped cat stood on my hood, staring at me through the windshield. It was larger than a normal cat should be, its belly almost scraping my hood, and whiskers all awry like it had recently gotten into a fight.

  “Where the hell did that come from?” I whispered, afraid the cat would hear me and somehow attack through metal and glass. Irrational, yes, but cats were falling from the sky. Weirder things had literally just happened.

  “It’s an orange version of Grumpy Cat.” Jay’s voice also came out a whisper. The intimacy of hearing him whisper in my ear mixing with the fear of the unexpected cat arrival left my heartbeat in a tailspin.

  And Jay was right. The cat continued to stare at us, its expression one of enormous contempt. Like it blamed me for being in its way when it jumped off the overhang patio of the hotel.

  I moved slowly, still a bit uneasy it had my demise in mind, and hit a few buttons on my phone where it was mounted to my dash. The phone rang on speaker twice before an older lady answered.

  “Yedda? I think you have an escapee,” I told her, getting right to the point. Jay had a flight to catch and I needed to get on the road.

  “Ohh…I don’t doubt it.” Then she cackled, the laugh filling the car even though I didn’t find much funny about being held hostage by a twenty-pound cat. “Better a cat escapes than one of the inmates, am I right?”

  She had a point.

  The new prison had seen their fair share of escapees before Bain whipped the place into shape. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jay sit up taller, like the news of escaped inmates made him weary.

  “Don’t worry. The warden has things under control now,” I reassured him. Poor guy was a tourist. He probably thought we had a rough element here in our fine town. Didn’t need that rumor getting started
again.

  “Just pick her up and swing her by the Society, would you?”

  I cringed seeing the cat’s lip twitch in a snarl. “I don’t know, Yedda. She doesn’t seem too happy to see me.”

  “Oh, she won’t swipe at you. Just talk real sweet and bring her in.” Yedda hung up like everything was decided.

  “What’s the Society?” Jay asked, leaning forward enough I caught a whiff of his cologne.

  “Yedda owns the National Cat Protection Society, a place for retired and aging cats to live out the rest of their lives in luxury,” I explained, realizing how weird that must sound to someone unfamiliar with the ways of this town.

  Jay stared at me, straight-faced. I finally lifted my eyebrows as if to say “what can you do about it?” Auburn Hill was crazy and he might as well understand that before he started coming here too often. Which raised an interesting question. Why was Jay coming here? He’d never stated his business with Auburn Hill.

  He let out a long-suffering sigh and climbed out of the car.

  “What are you doing?” I yelled out the car door, worried for his safety. That cat looked street tough.

  Jay ignored me and came to the side of the hood, he and the cat engaging in a stare-down. The cat’s fur extended out like she’d stuck her paw in a light socket. I grabbed my phone and hit record. This shit could go viral. Plus I’d need evidence to back up my story if I had to take Jay into the emergency room.

  Jay danced left, then right, moving his hands like a kung fu master, which was hot as hell, I’ve got to say. It was then, when he had both myself and the cat in a karate dance trance, that he pounced. His hands closed around the middle of the cat and he held her aloft, arms stretched out as far as they could go. The cat scrambled and hissed, a blur of orange fur as she tried to wiggle her way out of his arms.

  Jay ran to the back seat and threw himself and the cat inside, his eyebrows almost to his hairline. The cat let out an angry hiss howl that raised the hair on the back of my neck. I dropped my phone, viral video completely forgotten.

  “Go! Go!” Jay shouted. He tried to right himself on the seat, all the while keeping the cat away from him.

  I threw the car in drive and hit the gas, burning rubber out of Hell Hotel’s parking lot. The force of my takeoff closed Jay’s door, encapsulating the three of us. Who knew which one of us would emerge in one piece once we reached the Society? I sped down Main Street, praying for our safety from the cat and from the radar gun of Chief Waldo and Penelope Fines.

  “Hold on!” I yelled as I saw the roundabout up ahead.

  I couldn’t slow down. We were almost to the Society and so far no blood had been shed. We were so close.

  “Can’t!” Jay yelled back, his voice barely heard above the angry bellows of the devil-cat.

  “Shit.”

  I grabbed the wheel and made the ninety-degree turn around the statue like Jay’s life depended on it, all four of my wheels managing to stay in contact with the pavement like a champion race car driver. Barely. I straightened out of the turn as Brinestone Way came into view. The back end fishtailed with a force I’d never felt before. Gripping the wheel till my knuckles burned, I fought for all three of our lives, winning stability right as I reached the parking lot for the Society. I pumped the brakes and took that turn a bit slower, the panic receding as I saw the end in sight.

  Yedda burst out the door as I came to a full stop, my bumper missing her shins by a mere foot.

  “What the hell?” Jay whispered, more than an ounce of awe in his tone. Unfortunately, it wasn’t for my driving skills.

  Even the cat quit its bellowing the second Yedda came into sight. Not one, not two, but an entire herd of cats—or perhaps a clowder if we’re being technical—clung to every limb and square inch of clothing that was Yedda. She looked like she wore a patchwork fur coat, the look completed with a furry cat hat. No wonder the woman was coated with cat hair all day every day.

  “What is going on here?” Yedda asked, her raised voice coming through the car doors making me feel like a chastised child in front of the teacher.

  I pushed open the door the same time Jay did, his exit less graceful with his hands full of twenty pounds of cat who’d decided now was the time to play dead. He looked around bewildered, his gaze snagging on Lucille’s sperm bank next door. His face drained of color.

  Sperm banks were interesting, of course, but I didn’t think it was enough to cause that kind of reaction.

  “Did you hit her?” Yedda pounced toward her wayward baby and the cats all jumped off in unison, drawing my attention back to her.

  “Reverend Phatty,” Yedda whispered, snatching the cat out of Jay’s hands and rubbing her sun-spotted hand along its back.

  Jay glanced over at me, the lines on his forehead telling me he had the same thoughts as I did regarding the name choice. He shifted on his feet, placing his back to the car, and focused his gaze on the blacktop parking lot.

  “He’s fine, Yedda. We didn’t hit him. In fact, he jumped off Hell Hotel’s roof onto my car. We just brought him home for you.” I stepped closer to reassure the old woman, but Phatty hissed, coming to life miraculously. Instead, I changed course and edged closer to Jay to give Yedda a wide berth with her precious kitty.

  “Oh wow, look at the time. We gotta get you to your flight.” I looked at my bare wrist and then pushed Jay toward the passenger door. We were done with good deeds. I needed to get Jay to the airport and pick up some more rides if I was going to make any money today. Jay complied, scrambling into the back seat.

  Yedda cooed nonsense to the cat and moved back into the Society door, a line of cats filing in behind her. The door swung closed and a poof of cat hair floated up into the sky.

  “That was pretty brave what you did there, Jay.” I clicked my seat belt on and waited for him to do the same before pulling back out onto Brinestone Way. I had questions and plenty of road to ask them before Jay could escape.

  In the rearview mirror I saw him shrug. “Just doing my part to keep the peace here in Hell.”

  I grinned. “Ah, so you’ve heard about our little town, huh?”

  He chuckled, the sound as pleasing as a warm blanket and hot chocolate in winter. “I’ve heard a few things here and there.”

  This guy was a tough nut to crack. Never giving much information or exposing who he was or why he was in town. I’d have to up my interrogation game if I was to find out any juicy details. And boy, did I want something juicy.

  “Did you hear—”

  His phone rang, the shrill ringtone startling in the small car. He held up a finger and answered, jamming the phone to his head. A little line formed between his thick eyebrows. I forced myself to keep my attention on the road and not on the mysterious man in my back seat making my nerve endings sizzle with a single glance.

  “No,” Jay barked into the phone. I didn’t know who he was talking to, but I didn’t envy them on the receiving end of that clipped tone. “Contact her lawyer and let him know that was the last warning. The restraining order is in place for a reason. The contracts have already been signed. There’s nothing more to be done.”

  Was it wrong that commanding voice made me clench my thighs together?

  “Sorry about that,” Jay muttered, the phone now back in his pocket and his normal voice back in control. The frown line was still there, however.

  I felt the need to make him feel better. Not because I had a completely out-of-left-field crush on my passenger, but because keeping the peace was what I did. You could say it was my superpower. If the cape fits, you know?

  “Did you hear about the Legend of Auburn Hill?” I gave him a saucy smile in the rearview mirror and settled in for story time. “The town was started by gold miners in the Gold Rush era. They found their fortunes for a few years, but then the gold dried up. Somehow, someway, they said the area was cursed and a legend was born. When the chosen couple consummated their relationship in the right sea cave, the rock would split and show off i
ts gold vein.”

  Jay grinned, the wrinkle now gone. “So you’re telling me all it takes to get lucky is to get lucky in a sea cave?”

  I laughed even as I forcefully pulled my brain from the rabbit hole it wanted to dive down into where Jay was less clothed and doing naughty things to me in the dark of a cave.

  “Right? So weird, but yet on any given weekend, you’ll get a surprise if you step into a sea cave at night. You’ve been warned.”

  He lifted an eyebrow and scratched his fake mustache. “I’ll have to keep that in mind, thank you.”

  I gripped the steering wheel, wishing I could reach back and rip that ridiculous mustache off his face. Still wouldn’t help me figure out who he was, but the fact that I couldn’t see him clearly was driving me crazy.

  “Next time you’re in Hell, you should plan on attending a bonfire. We have them almost every weekend right on the beach. Lots of fun and you can see the legend in action.”

  I watched him closely, the way his eyes darted down to his hands. The way he fidgeted in his seat, pulling at his pant legs and adjusting his shirt. The car got quiet.

  “Can I ask you a question, Jay?”

  “Sure.” He sounded anything but sure.

  Keeping my eyes on the road and navigating the exit off the freeway that would dump us right at the airport in Monterey, I asked, “What do you dream about?”

  I heard him swallow.

  “Um, you mean, like, what are my goals in life?”

  I had to hand it to him, he didn’t run screaming or change the subject. I’d learned long ago abrupt changes in conversation were more likely to reveal the answers I wanted. I grew up watching my father talk to his parishioners using this exact technique. Worked nine times out of ten and you found out all kinds of crazy things you never wished to know.

  My head nod went unnoticed as he stared at his hands. Another long pause had me sitting on the edge of my seat and a lead weight forming in my stomach, hoping I didn’t ruin everything by prying into his personal life. I rather enjoyed our car rides and I wanted them to continue.