Uber Bossy: A Small Town Romantic Comedy (Jobs From Hell Book 2)

by Marika Ray

  I nearly choked. Maybe the last few restless nights were messing with my hearing. “How old are you, man?”

  “Eighteen.”

  I nodded sagely, suddenly feeling ancient. “You don’t need what I have at my shop. What you need is to learn how to use the equipment you already got. You with me?”

  His eyes darted around the shop, already dismissing me. “Yeah, whatever, bro.”

  I shook my head as he went to take the next order. Kids. Young boys wanting sex toys when they didn’t even know how to please a woman with their tongues, fingers, and cocks. Master the basics, then I’d show them the toys.

  Grabbing my food, I left the coffee shop in a hurry, wanting to get away from the stares, followed by fevered whispering. The old guy sitting by the door didn’t even bother to lower his voice.

  “In my day we didn’t need any toys to procreate,” he said around his dentures.

  I barely held in the eye roll as I breezed out the door. “In your day women didn’t orgasm either.”

  The gasp behind me told me someone had heard me. It gave me satisfaction to finally get a tiny word in my defense out there. I got it. The town was conservative. Most small towns were, but I firmly believed that even a conservative town could see that selling products that brought people pleasure wasn’t a sin. They had a bar here in Hell and the dangers of overdrinking were well-known. Why not a shop that helped couples spice up their love life in the privacy of their own homes?

  By the time I drove over to the shop, I’d gotten myself all pumped up on all the reasons my shop should be accepted in this town. With enough time, I firmly believed the fervor would die down and I’d get to business as usual.

  Just without a manager.

  And I was back to having Red with a babysitter all day long. Exactly what I didn’t want when I decided to buy this place. I got out of the car and kept my head down as I made my way through the group of people standing outside the front door to The Hardware Store.

  “You should be ashamed of yourself,” one lady told me.

  “Get your garbage out of this town!” another shouted.

  “Hang in there, buddy,” came a soft whisper.

  My startled gaze swung over to see orthopedic shoes, attached to blue shorts, and up to the uniform shirt that made me flinch every time. Poppy was back. And this time, dare I think it? She was supporting me and my business?

  I stumbled through the front door after I unlocked it, the confusion of Poppy perhaps backing my business endeavor and the shouting of the protestors fading with a sudden vision of clarity.

  Just taking the protestors in stride and moving forward with this business wasn’t going to work. Even if the protestors went away, everyone in this town would hate me and this business. And by extension of relation, they’d start to resent my brother and his wife and their daughter. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t stand by passively watching everything I wanted go up in smoke.

  I may have lost Nora—who was I kidding, I’d definitely lost Nora—but I wasn’t going to lose this business or my family’s good standing in the community.

  Nope. I was going to fight back. Poppy’s whispered support had me combing through the notes Nora had taken on the legal notepad she’d brought with her to the interview. I read through each thought-out bullet point, seeing quite a few ideas that would be perfect once we were up and running—okay, if we ever opened. I almost got distracted tracing the way she looped her Gs and crossed her Ts.

  And then my gaze snagged on one idea I realized was particularly brilliant.

  Anonymously deliver boxes to Hell citizens to get their support.

  I slapped the desktop and felt the first surge of hope. I bet there were quite a few citizens of Hell who’d love a vibrator for that elusive G-spot many men couldn’t find. Or a strap-on for the woman in charge. Or a cock ring to help the guy who wanted to love on his wife but needed a little extra help. Or a masturbation sleeve for the fancy lonely guy.

  Nora’s solution was simple: make up the first batch of sex toy subscription boxes and deliver them discreetly to well-selected members of Auburn Hill. I’d win over this town one anal plug at a time.

  The zip of adrenaline had me hustling through the hallways of my new building for the first time in several days. Firing Nora had left me in a funk I didn’t know how to get out of, but her pages of notes were my savior. The irony did not escape me. Even with Nora gone, it was Nora who saved me.

  As I entered the large warehouse space designated for box assembly, I started putting together the first package meant for Poppy, making sure to include the twelve-inch dildo she liked so much. The scene from when I fired Nora in front of her parents, effectively breaking up with her in one fell swoop, flashed through my brain. I hadn’t even looked her in the eye while I dashed her dreams. I winced at the shot of shame that dampened my spirits.

  That was a dick move. I knew it then and I knew it now.

  But if there had to be a bad guy in this town, I wanted it to be me. Not Nora.

  As I stood on the doorstep and heard the crowd of protestors and saw the shade of rage on her father’s face, it was all too clear what would happen if she’d stayed with The Hardware Store. And if she’d stayed with me. Her relationship with her parents would have been irrevocably damaged, her reputation would be in the toilet, and the town she grew up in would suddenly turn their backs on her.

  She didn’t deserve that and I couldn’t let that happen. I cared for her too much to see her suffer like that. And especially not for a damaged guy like me who only had an untrusting heart and a kid with some nutjob to offer her.

  Another thought hit my brain like lightning, scrambling every thought I’d ever had about myself. I bobbled the dildo, nearly dropping it with the revelation. My heart was untrusting, but not in regards to Nora. I thought so much of her I was willing to throw myself on the sword of public opinion for her. My heart resembled a soft and squishy teddy bear when it came to Nora, which meant only one thing.

  I was in love with her.

  I slammed the dildo into the box and threw in some organic massage oil made from the leaves of some plant in a foreign country no one could pronounce. Just my luck I’d discover I was in love with a woman only after I’d broken up with her and fired her. What shit luck to lose my heart in a little hick town after I’d successfully dodged female advances for a decade in the big city. All it took was a girl with freckles, short jean shorts, and a penchant for hug over-distribution.

  I scrubbed a hand over my face and decided my only choice was to save my business. After this current emergency was cleared up, I could think about what to do with Nora. Maybe giving her some time to cool off would help things. Maybe just a few weeks for her to calm down and then I could talk to her and see where we stood.

  Sure, giving her some time would probably be best.

  Maybe everything would just work itself out on its own in the love department.

  With a forced bounce in my step, I added in a bright pink wearable vibrator and a bottle of cleanser for Poppy’s new toys. If her mood while delivering the mail took a sudden upturn, I’d know she was using the pink toy. Not that I really wanted to know these things, but if she was appreciative of my gifts, maybe she’d spread a good word about me. I’d use Poppy’s gossiping skills for my own gain.

  Finishing the box with plenty of purple tissue paper and a quick note asking for any friends who may want a visit from the toy fairy and the box was complete. As soon as the sun went down tonight, I’d deliver it under the cover of darkness and hope for the best.

  The next morning, I left the hotel to drop Red off with the babysitter in the brand-new truck I’d bought yesterday after a quick phone call to a dealer. Then I’d hit up Coffee for some breakfast and head over to The Hardware Store to make up some more boxes for my soon-to-be friends in Auburn Hill.

  As I hit the roundabout, my thoughts turned to Nora. Not that she was ever far from my mind. I seemed to think about her once eve
ry three seconds, which was an improvement from not being able to think of anything besides her for the first few days after the epic firing/breakup. Every time I thought about the L-word I forced my mind to divert the daydreaming of a happily ever after that would probably never happen.

  I exited the roundabout without incident, a fact I was proud of given the driving records of Hell citizens, and parked on Main Street, just a few shops down from Coffee.

  A car pulled up and idled directly behind me in the street, blocking me in. I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Nora’s side profile behind the wheel. The clouds parted and the sun burned a little brighter the moment my gaze came to rest on her familiar face. Those lips I’d loved to nibble on were downturned, a smile nowhere to be found. For a split second I thought she was coming to talk to me, but then her back door opened and some asshole in a three-piece suit got in. The vest alone would have irritated me, but the fact he looked like he was barking something at Nora that made her frown even more made my insides blaze.

  I grabbed the door handle and scrambled out of the truck. As soon as my feet hit the pavement, she took off, headed who knew where with some jerk face cheese bag. I slammed my door and kicked the back tire of my truck, wincing when a shooting pain reminded me that move was for fictional movies, not real life if you wanted to keep your toes intact. Why did that look so cool in movies?

  “Ever thought of adopting a cat to help soothe your outbursts?”

  I spun around to see Yedda on the sidewalk, not one cat attached to her person, like a morning miracle.

  “Good morning, Yedda. Sorry about that.” I gestured to my tire.

  She smiled and waved a hand through the air. “Hey, it’s not my tire or my foot, so kick away.”

  “Sure you want to be talking to the town devil himself?” Irritation at seeing Nora having to go back to giving douchebags rides made me want to do more than kick a tire. And apparently I wanted to take out my anger on old ladies. I really was the asshole the town thought I was.

  “Sorry,” I said quickly. “It’s been a tough week, but I shouldn’t talk to you like that.”

  Yedda didn’t run like I thought she would. Instead, she stepped off the curb and shimmied between my truck and the huge van I was parked beside to stand directly before me. Her weathered hand came up and she patted my cheek. A puff of hair or fur or something floated into the air and got in my eyes.

  “You’re a good boy. I can tell, Mr. Sutter. No devil would rescue my poor Reverend Phatty like you did.” She smiled and I could have sworn one of her teeth winked at me in the sunlight like in those toothpaste ads. “In fact, I have the perfect girl for you. I’ll be in touch.”

  And then she walked off, leaving me bewildered and fairly calm. The anger had gone away—probably as puzzled by Yedda as I was—and left me with shame. My old friend. I wasn’t the good guy she thought I was. A good guy wouldn’t have treated Nora the way I did.

  I shook my head and got my food, hustling to the shop to keep going on my sex toy fairy idea. When I arrived at The Hardware Store, there were only about ten people outside the shop with signs. A marked drop from the last few days.

  “Poppy’s sharing her toys,” I mused out loud.

  I mean, hopefully not literally—that was unsanitary—but it looked like she was spreading a good word about The Hardware Store. The crowd parted for me, but shouted a few things at me as I let myself into the shop. An envelope fluttered to the ground from the slot in the door where the mail was to be delivered. I stooped and picked it up, seeing only my first name on the outside of the envelope. There was a fifty-fifty chance it was laced with a lethal poison.

  On second thought, I didn’t think Auburn Hill would take me down like that. Too tidy and underhanded. Anticlimactic, if you will. Their retaliation would be more public and the perpetrator would definitely let me see their face before they dispatched me.

  I threw my keys on the front desk and heard the clatter echo through the empty office. Having Nora here with me would have filled this place up with noise and warmth. Having her by my side would fill me up with warmth. Even spending time with Red now felt like there was someone missing, which was crazy. It had been him and me since the beginning, so how could one woman sneak into our hearts and lives so fast?

  I slid a finger under the flap of the envelope and took out the single sheet of lined paper with chicken scratch handwriting.

  If you’re so inclined, Susie Waldo could use a bullet vibrator. Faye Bennett could use a dildo—a shorter one, she can’t handle the twelver like you know who. Lord knows her husband isn’t givin’ it to her, but you didn’t hear that from me. My sincere thanks for your generosity, P

  I shook my head, a huge grin stealing across my face. I took the paper with me and hit the assembly room, my hands nearly shaking as I put together two more boxes of goodies. The town mail carrier, the mayor’s wife, and the police chief’s wife. If I got those three on my side, the chances of smoothing the ruffled, sex-deprived feathers of the townsfolk were damn good.

  By the time I made the boxes and rifled through the new résumés my assistant had sent me for the manager position—finding all of them paled in comparison to Nora—my surge of hope was dwindling fast. I may win over the town and be allowed to open The Hardware Store, but it would be without Nora leading the charge. It would be without Nora in my bed and by my side in life. All the business success paled in comparison to how my life could have been with her. I already had millions in the bank. How much more did I need to accomplish before I took a look around and realized my life was one lonely stretch of highway with no end in sight?

  My phone rang, cutting off my melancholy thoughts. My realtor.

  “Hey, Janice.”

  “I got good news, Jayden. The paperwork went through and I have the keys to your new house!”

  A piercing ache flooded my chest and I sagged back into my executive chair, eyeing the edge of the desk where I’d lost myself in Nora just a few days ago. Back when this news would have made me ecstatic. Now it just made me feel hollow inside.

  “Jayden? You there?”

  I ran a hand through my hair and tried to force some enthusiasm into my voice. The woman had rushed the deal for me and was getting a hefty commission. She was happy enough about the whole thing for the both of us.

  “Yeah, yeah. Sorry, just planning in my head where my furniture is going to go,” I replied lamely.

  “Well, I hope you brought a lot of it. You’ve got thirty-five hundred square feet of space.” She chortled.

  I smiled through the ache that intensified, thinking about bouncing around that huge house with just Red and me.

  “I’ll come on over now and get the keys.”

  “See you soon!”

  A loud knocking on the front door had me hanging up without saying goodbye. It was just one thing after another here in Hell. Either it was a protestor or Poppy back with another delivery for a business I wasn’t even interested in running.

  “Hang on,” I hollered as I made my way down the long hallway.

  I barely had my hand on the doorknob when the door shoved open and Lukas barreled in, looking none too pleased to see me. The door hit the wall, leaving a dent in the drywall.

  “What the hell, dude?”

  Lukas was my height, but I had him beat in the muscle mass department. He crossed his arms over his chest, feet planted like he was ready to kick my ass.

  The way I felt, I’d probably let him.

  20

  Jayden

  “Listen, I feel bad enough as it is. I’m sure you want to bash my face in, and honestly, it’s probably deserved, so do your worst.” I put my palms up in the air to let Nora’s brother know I didn’t plan to fight him back.

  He glared at me for a long moment, but when he uncrossed his arms, it wasn’t to hit me. He grabbed my shoulders, making me flinch, and pulled me into a fucking hug.

  What is it with these Murphys and hugs?

  “Maybe Lenora h
as it right. You need a hug, man, ’cause what you did was jacked up,” he said gruffly, pounding me on the back a little rougher than a hug called for.

  While Nora’s hugs were hella better and a lot softer, Lukas’s hug had me tearing up. I was hard up for hugs. Damn, I missed that crazy woman.

  Lukas pulled back and I blinked hard to get rid of the moisture.

  “Well, thanks for th—”

  “Dude, are you crying?”

  I darted a look at him, his face scrunched up in disbelief and disgust. “No, I’m not crying. Just a leftover reaction to all the cat hair from talking to Yedda this morning.”

  Lukas shook his head. “Man, you’re just as jacked as my sister. What the hell happened?”

  My heart lurched, hearing that Nora was having a hard time too. Yet another way I’d let her down and hurt her. This was just confirmation I’d done the right thing by pushing her away. I was no good for her. She needed a far better man than me. Someone who could open up his heart and let her all the way in. I had no idea how to even go about attempting something like that.

  “Your sister is fantastic, but I couldn’t let her take the heat for my own misjudgment over this business I’m opening. Your parents would have disowned her.”

  Lukas reared his head back. “No, they wouldn’t. They would have made her go to church every Sunday and women’s groups and prayer circles, but they would never disown her. On second thought, maybe that’s worse, so maybe breaking up with her was good.” He scratched his chin, the wince on his face telling me what he thought of his dad’s church. “But listen, breaking up with her and firing her? That’s a low blow.”

  I nodded. “I don’t disagree with you there, but at the time, I was thinking I’d step in and save her from your parents. I didn’t actually think about how the firing might dash her dreams or make it so we couldn’t date any longer.”

  Lukas gave me a look that mirrored the look I gave Poppy most of the time. “You thought you could just fire her and she’d still happily date you?” He scoffed, “Dude, you haven’t learned much for being ten years older than me.”