Possibility of Being

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by Rainer Maria Rilke


  and counterpoise their heaviness with colors.

  And women too appeared to you as fruits,

  and children too, both of them from within

  impelled into the forms of their existence.

  And finally you saw yourself as fruit,

  lifted yourself out of your clothes and carried

  that self before the mirror, let it in

  up to your gaze; which remained, large, in front,

  and did not say: that’s me; no, but: this is.

  So uninquiring was your gaze at last,

  so unpossessive and so truly poor,

  it wanted even you no longer: holy.

  That’s how I would retain you, as you placed

  yourself within the mirror, deep within,

  and far from all else. Why come differently?

  Why thus revoke yourself? Why are you trying

  to make me feel that in those amber beads

  around your neck there was still something heavy

  with such a heaviness as never lurks

  in the beyond of tranquil pictures? Why

  does something in your bearing bode misfortune

  What makes you read the contours of your body

  like lines upon a hand, and me no longer

  able to see them but as destiny?

  Come to the candle-light. I’m not afraid

  to look upon the dead. When they return

  they have a right to hospitality

  within our gaze, the same as other things.

  Come; we’ll remain a little while in silence.

  Look at this rose, here on my writing-desk:

  is not the light around it just as timid

  as that round you? It too should not be here.

  It ought to have remained or passed away

  out in the garden there, unmixed with me—

  it stays, unconscious of my consciousness.

  Don’t be afraid now if I comprehend:

  it’s rising in me—oh, I must, I must,

  even if it kills me, I must comprehend.

  Comprehend, that you’re here. I comprehend.

  Just as a blind man comprehends a thing,

  I feel your fate although I cannot name it.

  Let both of us lament that someone took you

  out of your mirror. If you still can cry?

  No, you can’t cry. You long ago transformed

  the force and thrust of tears to your ripe gazing,

  and were in act of changing every kind

  of sap within you to a strong existence

  that mounts and circles in blind equipoise.

  Then, for the last time, chance got hold of you,

  and snatched you back out of your farthest progress,

  back to a world where saps will have their way.

  Did not snatch all, only a piece at first,

  but when reality, from day to day,

  so swelled around that piece that it grew heavy,

  you needed your whole self; then off you went

  and broke yourself in fragments from your law,

  laboriously, needing yourself. And then

  you took yourself away and from your heart’s

  warm, night-warm, soil you dug the yet green seeds

  your death was going to spring from: your own death,

  the death appropriate to your own life.

  And then you ate those grains of your own death

  like any others, ate them one by one,

  and had within yourself an after-taste

  of unexpected sweetness, had sweet lips,

  you: in your senses sweet within already.

  Let us lament. Do you know how unwilling

  and hesitatingly your blood returned,

  recalled from an incomparable orbit?

  With what confusion it took up again

  the tiny circulation of the body?

  With what mistrust it entered the placenta,

  suddenly tired from the long homeward journey?

  You drove it on again, you pushed it forward,

  you dragged it to the hearth, as people drag

  a herd of animals to sacrifice;

  and spite of all desired it to be happy.

  And finally you forced it: it was happy,

  and ran up and surrendered. You supposed,

  being so accustomed to the other measures,

  that this was only for a little while;

  but now you were in time, and time is long.

  And time goes by, and time goes on, and time

  is like relapsing after some long illness.

  How very short your life, when you compare it

  with hours you used to sit in silence, bending

  the boundless forces of your boundless future

  out of their course to the new germination,

  that became fate once more. O painful labor.

  Labor beyond all strength. And you performed it

  day after day, you dragged yourself along to it

  and pulled the lovely woof out of the loom

  and wove your threads into another pattern.

  And still had spirit for a festival.

  For when you’d done you looked for some reward,

  like children, when they’ve drunk a nasty drink

  of bitter-sweet tea that may make one better.

  You gave your own reward, being still so distant,

  even then, from all the rest; and no one there

  who could have hit on a reward to please you.

  You yourself knew it. You sat up in child-bed,

  a mirror there before you, that returned

  all that you gave. Now everything was you,

  and right in front; within was mere deceit,

  the sweet deceit of Everywoman, gladly

  putting her jewels on and doing her hair.

  And so you died like women long ago,

  died in the old warm house, old-fashionedly,

  the death of those in child-bed, who are trying

  to close themselves again but cannot do it,

  because that darkness which they also bore

  returns and grows importunate and enters.

  Ought they not, though, to have gone and hunted up

  some mourners for you? Women who will weep

  for money, and, if paid sufficiently,

  will howl through a whole night when all is still.

  Observances! We haven’t got enough

  observances. All vanishes in talk.

  That’s why you have to come back, and with me

  retrieve omitted mourning. Can you hear me?

  I’d like to fling my voice out like a cloth

  over the broken fragments of your death

  and tug at it till it was all in tatters,

  and everything I said was forced to go

  clad in the rags of that torn voice and freeze—

  if mourning were enough. But I accuse:

  not him who thus withdrew you from yourself

  (I can’t distinguish him, he’s like them all),

  but in him I accuse all: accuse man.

  If somewhere deep within me rises up

  a having-once-been-child I don’t yet know,

  perhaps the purest childness of my childhood:

  I will not know it. Without looking at it

  or asking, I will make an angel of it,

  and hurl that angel to the foremost rank

  of crying angels that remembrance God.

  For now too long this suffering has lasted,

  and none can stand it; it’s too hard for us,

  this tortuous suffering caused by spurious love,

  which, building on prescription like a habit,

  calls itself just and battens on injustice.

  Where is the man who justly may possess?

  Who can possess what cannot hold itself

  but only now and then blissfully catches

  and flings itself on lik
e a child a ball?

  As little as the admiral can retain

  the Nikê poised upon his vessel’s prow

  when the mysterious lightness of her godhead

  has caught her up into the limpid sea-wind,

  can one of us call back to him the woman

  who, seeing us no longer, takes her way

  along some narrow strip of her existence,

  as through a miracle, without mischance—

  unless his calling and delight were guilt.

  For this is guilt, if anything be guilt,

  not to enlarge the freedom of a love

  with all the freedom in one’s own possession.

  All we can offer where we love is this:

  to loose each other; for to hold each other

  comes easy to us and requires no learning.

  Are you still there? Still hiding in some corner?—

  You knew so much of all that I’ve been saying,

  and could so much too, for you passed through life

  open to all things, like a breaking day.

  Women suffer: loving means being lonely,

  and artists feel at times within their work

  the need, where most they love, for transmutation.

  You began both; and both exist in that

  which fame, detaching it from you, disfigures.

  Oh, you were far beyond all fame. Were in-

  conspicuous; had gently taken in

  your beauty as a gala flag’s intaken

  on the gray morning of a working-day,

  and wanted nothing but a lengthy work—

  which is not done; in spite of all, not done.

  If you’re still there, if somewhere in this darkness

  there’s still a spot where your perceptive spirit’s

  vibrating on the shallow waves of sound

  a lonely voice within a lonely night

  starts in the air-stream of a lofty room:

  hear me and help me. Look, without knowing when,

  we keep on slipping backwards from our progress

  into some unintended thing, and there

  we get ourselves involved as in a dream,

  and there at last we die without awakening.

  No one’s got further. Anyone who’s lifted

  the level of his blood to some long work

  may find he’s holding it aloft no longer

  and that it’s worthlessly obeying its weight.

  For somewhere there’s an old hostility

  between our human life and greatest work.

  May I see into it and it say: help me!

  Do not return. If you can bear it, stay

  dead with the dead. The dead are occupied.

  But help me, as you may without distraction,

  as the most distant sometimes helps: in me.

  DUINO ELEGIES

  (1923)

  THE FIRST ELEGY

  Who, if I cried, would hear me among the angelic

  orders? And even if one of them suddenly

  pressed me against his heart, I should fade in the strength of his

  stronger existence. For Beauty’s nothing

  but beginning of Terror we’re still just able to bear,

  and why we adore it so is because it serenely

  disdains to destroy us. Every angel is terrible.

  And so I repress myself, and swallow the call-note

  of depth-dark sobbing. Alas, who is there

  we can make use of? Not angels, not men;

  and even the noticing beasts are aware

  that we don’t feel very securely at home

  in this interpreted world. There remains, perhaps,

  some tree on a slope, to be looked at day after day,

  there remains for us yesterday’s walk and the long-drawn loyalty

  of a habit that liked us and stayed and never gave notice.

  Oh, and there’s Night, there’s Night, when wind full of cosmic space

  feeds on our faces: for whom would she not remain,

  longed for, mild disenchantress, painfully there

  for the lonely heart to achieve? Is she lighter for lovers?

  Alas, with each other they only conceal their lot!

  Don’t you know yet?—Fling the emptiness out of your arms

  to broaden the spaces we breathe—maybe that the birds

  will feel the extended air in more fervent flight.

  Yes, the Springs had need of you. Many a star

  was waiting for you to perceive it. Many a wave

  would rise in the past towards you; or else, perhaps,

  as you went by an open window, a violin

  would be utterly giving itself. All this was commission.

  But were you equal to it? Were you not still

  distraught by expectancy, as though all were announcing

  some beloved’s approach? (As if you could hope

  to house her, with all those great strange thoughts

  going in and out and often staying overnight!)

  Should you be longing, though, sing the great lovers: the fame

  of all they can feel is far from immortal enough.

  Those—you envied them almost, those forsaken, you found

  so far beyond the requited in loving. Begin

  ever anew their never-attainable praise.

  Consider: the Hero continues, even his setting

  was a pretext for further existence, an ultimate birth.

  But lovers are taken back by exhausted Nature

  into herself, as though such creative force

  could not be exerted twice. Does Gaspara Stampa

  mean enough to you yet, and that any girl, whose beloved

  has slipped away, might feel, from that far intenser

  example of loving: “Could I but become like her!”?

  Should not these oldest sufferings be finally growing

  fruitfuller for us? Is it not time that, in loving,

  we freed ourselves from the loved one, and, quivering, endured:

  as the arrow endures the string, to become, in the gathering out-leap,

  something more than itself? For staying is nowhere.

  Voices, voices. Hearken, my heart, as only

  saints once hearkened: so, that the giant call

  lifted them off the ground; they, though, impossibles,

  went on kneeling and paid no heed:

  such was their hearkening. Not that you could bear God’s

  voice, by a long way. But hark to the suspiration,

  the uninterrupted news that grows out of silence.

  Rustling towards you now from those youthfully-dead.

  Whenever you entered a church in Rome or in Naples

  were you not always being quietly addressed by their fate?

  Or else an inscription sublimely imposed itself on you,

  as, lately, the tablet in Santa Maria Formosa.

  What they require of me? that I should gently remove

  the appearance of suffered injustice, that hinders

  a little, at times, their purely-proceeding spirits.

  True, it is strange to inhabit the earth no longer,

  to use no longer customs scarcely acquired,

  not to interpret roses, and other things

  that promise so much, in terms of a human future;

  to be no longer all that one used to be

  in endlessly anxious hands, and to lay aside

  even one’s proper name like a broken toy.

  Strange, not to go on wishing one’s wishes. Strange,

  to see all that was once relation so loosely fluttering

  hither and thither in space. And it’s hard, being dead,

  and full of retrieving before one begins to perceive

  a little eternity.—All of the living, though,

  make the mistake of drawing too sharp distinctions.

  Angels (it’s said) would be often unable to tell

  whe
ther they moved among living or dead. The eternal

  torrent whirls all the ages through either realm

  for ever, and sounds above their voices in both.

  They’ve finally no more need of us, the early-departed,

  one’s gently weaned from terrestrial things as one mildly

  outgrows the breasts of a mother. But we, that have need of

  such mighty secrets, we, for whom sorrow’s so often

  source of blessedest progress, could we exist without them?

  Is the story in vain, how once, in the mourning for Linos,

  venturing earliest music pierced barren numbness, and how,

  in the startled space an almost deified youth

  suddenly quitted for ever, emptiness first

  felt the vibration that now lifts us and comforts and helps?

  THE FOURTH ELEGY

  O trees of life, what are your signs of winter?

  We’re not at one. We’ve no instinctive knowledge,

  like migratory birds. Outstript and late,

  we force ourselves on winds and find no welcome

  from ponds where we alight. We comprehend

  flowering and fading simultaneously.

  And somewhere lions still roam, all unaware,

  while yet their splendor lasts, of any weakness.

  We, though, while we’re intent upon one thing,

  can feel the cost and conquest of another.

  The Next’s our enemy. Aren’t lovers always

  coming to precipices in each other—

  lovers, that looked for spaces, hunting, home?

  Then, for the sudden sketchwork of a moment,

  a ground of contrast’s painfully prepared,

  to make us see it. For they’re very clear

  with us, we that don’t know our feeling’s shape,

  but only that which forms it from outside.

  Who’s not sat tense before his own heart’s curtain?

  Up it would go: the scenery was Parting.

  Easy to understand. The well-known garden,

  swaying a little. Then appeared the dancer.

  Not him! Enough! However light he foots it,

  he’s just disguised, and turns into a bourgeois,

  and passes through the kitchen to his dwelling.

  I will not have these half-filled masks! No, no,

  rather the doll. That’s full. I’ll force myself

  to bear the husk, the wire, and even that face

  of sheer appearance. Here! I’m in my seat.

  Even if the lights go out, even if I’m told

  “There’s nothing more”—even if grayish drafts

  of emptiness come drifting from the stage—

  even if of all my silent forbears none

  sits by me any longer, not a woman,

 

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