From the Inside Out

by Talya Andor

  Jonathan narrowed his eyes, keeping up the steady rocking motion of his hand that kept the wine circulating in the bowl of the glass. "Well, you'd know better if you'd managed to get an internship instead of that Starbucks job, wouldn't you?"

  Lucas began to shake his head. "I know myself," he said. "I don't need to be sitting at a cubicle nine to five to know I'd hate it. Numbers, accounting; it's all black and white. I need something that isn't going to drive me crazy after six months. I want something flexible, and I know it's not going to be accounting."

  "What do you really want to do?"

  Lucas was almost certain this was the first time his father had ever asked the question. His school, his major, hell, even his dorm upon entering into college, had all been reviewed and vetted and approved by his father. Eighteen and unable to make his own choices, Lucas had fumed and gone along with it and maybe gone a little buck-wild messing around over the past two years to compensate.

  Soren wasn't only bringing him back to reality; he had brought Lucas back to himself. The best parts of himself.

  "I'd rather do something in marketing, advertising. I could still use the business degree angle but I just…I can't stand the thought of being cooped up behind a desk or in an office all the time. I want to be out doing things, working with people, creating things."

  Jonathan set down his wine glass. "I see your point. You were always outgoing, always doodling in those sketch books of yours. Got that from your mother—and my mom. She was an artist of sorts. All right."

  Lucas could barely believe his ears. "You mean…?"

  "You've put some thought into this, I take it?" The stern look was back.

  Numb, Lucas nodded. Soren's fingers were threading into his, squeezing him tight, the tremor betraying his excitement.

  "And you can still finish your degree in four years?"

  Lucas nodded again. "Yeah…yeah, there's a lot of overlapping requirements. I've already fulfilled all the basics. I just need to shift focus."

  "Go ahead and make it happen. Whatever changes you need to make with the school, and so forth."

  "O-okay," Lucas said, his voice cracking. He didn't care. He stared at his father, wondering when the man had mellowed this much. How much had Lucas himself misinterpreted in his struggle to come out on top of arguments and clashes of opinion? "You sure about this?"

  "It's your life, Lucas. Do your best, and that's all I can ever ask of you."

  *~*~*

  As they left the restaurant that glowed a warm gold in the oncoming dusk, Soren held Lucas's hand in a firm grip to keep him from stumbling along the sidewalk or crashing into the wrought-iron fencing that surrounded the car lot. Lucas appeared shell-shocked, walking beside Soren with wide eyes that didn't appear to see, and feet that were barely on the ground given the way he leaned against Soren for balance.

  "That went…well?" Soren ventured.

  "Uhh."

  Soren covered up a smirk, turning it into a sympathetic grin as he stopped them on the sidewalk, winding his arms around Lucas. His parents were still in the restaurant finishing up their wine and paying the check, but they'd excused Lucas and Soren and, shockingly enough, Irene had said something about them being young enough to make the most of the rest of their evening.

  "They're different from what I expected," Soren said, nuzzling close to his stunned Lucas and rubbing their noses together.

  Lucas's eyes sharpened, focusing on him. He sighed, and gave him a peck on the corner of his mouth. "They get worse with exposure, trust me. Dad must be all mellow because he's on vacation, or something."

  "Don't worry about it. You got what you wanted, right?" Soren kissed the corner of Lucas's mouth, returning the favor.

  "Mm, everything I want is right here." Lucas tightened his hands on Soren's waist, sliding down to his hips and pulling their bodies together.

  Soren grinned until their mouths sealed together. He cooperated fully with the invasion of Lucas's agile tongue.

  "Love you," Lucas murmured, his voice husky when they broke apart at last, after chasing many sweet crème brulee-flavored kisses. He kissed below Soren's mouth, dwelling on the indent below his bottom lip.

  "I love you." Soren was still shaken up, his life was undergoing upheaval, but he was entirely Lucas's. And now they'd each met one another's parents, and it seemed as though no further obstacles lay in their path. Time will tell, Soren recalled, thinking of Jonathan's cool blue eyes, and he wanted to shiver.

  Instead, he hugged Lucas tighter. "Show me how much you love me," he urged, aligning their bodies and brushing his lips along Lucas's jaw. He moved in until his nose was buried in soft, fine pale hair and he tongued at Lucas's ear. "Let's go back to your place."

  Lucas shuddered in his arms. "You sure?"

  "I'm sure," Soren replied with absolute certainty. Jack was being kicked out; Soren was facing down his demons and finding they were made of tissue paper. He placed his lips near Lucas's ear again. "I want sex, Lucas. I want to go all the way. Do I need to be any more direct?"

  Lucas was grinning as he pulled away far enough for them to look each other in the eyes again. "If you got any more direct, you'd have your hand in my pants."

  "That's not a word."

  "Yeah, okay, English major," Lucas said, fishing his jingling keys out of his jacket pocket. "Let's go to my place, okay?"

  "Home," Soren murmured. "Let's go home."

  In the car, Lucas leaned against the steering wheel a moment longer before engaging the key in the ignition.

  Soren leaned over, peering at Lucas's face with concern when his shoulders began to quake.

  Lucas smacked the side of the steering wheel with an open palm and Soren jumped, aiming wide eyes in Lucas's direction.

  "Lucas?" Soren said, reaching across the space between them. "You sure you're okay?"

  Lucas half twisted in his seat, both hands on the steering wheel. "Okay?" He was grinning, his whole face crinkling up in a grin. "Fantastic! Outstanding! Surpassing all expectation!"

  Soren grinned at him. "Your dad's not that much of an asshole."

  "Oh, he's still an asshole," Lucas said, cocking his head to one side, grin shading rueful. "Don't let him fool you. He's different in person, you know. Especially with a few drinks in him."

  "But he's an asshole that's going to let you do your own thing."

  "That's true," Lucas said, and leaned back in his seat with a shocked, laugh. "I'm going to change my major! He didn't disown me! And, dare I say it, I think he liked you?"

  "Let's go home?"

  Lucas flashed another grin his way, dark eyes dwelling on Soren from his face on down the length of his body as he licked his lips. "Oh, I'll admire you, all right." His voice turned husky. "Naked."

  "Sounds like just what I need. What are you waiting for?"

  Lucas shook his head, still grinning, and moved a hand to the gear shaft. "I still can't believe it." Dusk had passed and the car drove through the nighttime landscape of Portland spangled through with shop and city lights.

  Even in the darkness, Soren could see Lucas's knuckles tighten as he gripped the wheel.

  "Can't believe what? How well everything went?"

  "How lucky I am." Lucas eased the car to a halt at a red light and glanced over at Soren, his eyes curiously intent.

  "Consider it your due reward for being amazing," Soren murmured, not quite able to look away. He couldn't keep his eyes from Lucas when he was giving that kind of look.

  "No," Lucas said. "It's you."

  Soren ducked his head, shaking out hair to hide his face. "Don't be silly."

  "Don't do that," Lucas said, his voice sharp enough to make Soren's head swing up again. "It is you, I want you to know that, all right? You bring out the best in me."

  Soren grinned, overwhelmed and, he was sure, more than a little love-drunk. "Thank you. I feel the same way about you. Don't underestimate how good you are for me."

  They spent the rest of the drive chatting abou
t their upcoming challenges. Soren would be training for shift super. They both had exam hell week coming up, but the week after would be a grace period.

  "My family will be gone the whole week," Soren said, casting a coy look across the car. "They're taking the family to Disneyland, but I'm staying here."

  Lucas's eyes flicked from the road to his and back again, and a grin appeared to be forming. "Oh yeah?"

  "Yeah, and I'll be so lonely. If only I could find someone to keep me company, you know? I suppose Sloane and I could have a sleep-over…"

  "Hell, no!"

  Soren grinned, his heart doing an odd sort of flutter at the instant possessiveness of Lucas's tone. "Have someone in mind?"

  "Yeah, me. Lucas. Your boyfriend? We can fool around in your bed and no one will be there to burst in."

  "Or say we're making too much noise."

  By the time Lucas pulled his car into its space beside the apartment complex, Soren was flushed enough with anticipation. Before the night they'd gone clubbing, Soren had been close to admitting he was ready. With his newfound confidence, he found himself more than ready. He was quick to climb out of the car, meeting Lucas around the rear of the Lexus and colliding with him in his haste to wrap their bodies together. Lucas kissed him eagerly, making a pleased noise into Soren's mouth as Soren tasted him, licking his tongue over Lucas's lower lip and pushing inside. He panted softly through his nose, eyes closed as he breathed in Lucas's comforting scent and curled up against him and around him. They backed off and looked at one another, and Soren was warmed clear through by the heavy-lidded smile that Lucas gave him.

  "Upstairs?" Lucas suggested in a husky voice.

  "God, yes, I want you so much," Soren said, groping Lucas's ass and slipping his hands in Lucas's back pockets.

  Lucas breathed hard against his ear, licked his lips, and whispered, "You want to just… I mean, we don't have to do anything besides make out."

  "I want everything." Soren leaned against Lucas until Lucas's arms tightened around him. "I want kisses and rubbing and your mouth on me and your fingers in me. Then I want…I want us to go all the way."

  Lucas shuddered in his arms, snuffling against his neck. "Oh God, I want all of that so bad. But, are you sure…"

  "Utterly and completely." Soren took Lucas's hand and pulled him toward the apartment building. He was so anxious for it he was pretty sure he was already getting hard.

  When Lucas wrestled the door open, his task made more difficult by the way Soren clung to his arm and rode his leg, kissing at his neck with the eagerness of days of built-up sexual tension, it was a dash of cold water to his libido when they stumbled through the door to all lights blazing and a den full of people.

  "Oh," Soren said, reaching up to tug nervously at his mussed shirt as Lucas detached himself from Soren's neck. "Hi, everyone."

  "Soren!" Lisa trilled, launching herself up and out of the couch area and barreling toward them. "It's so good to see you!"

  Brandon and Alec had gotten up and Alec perched on the arm of the leather sofa, while Brandon came to join them.

  "Hey, Soren," Alec said, lifting a hand in a cheery wave, his face lighting up. "Glad you're okay, man."

  "Really glad," Brandon added, hugging Lisa to his chest and giving Soren a grin. "Lucas here wasn't fit to live with while we were all worried about you. We haven't seen you since, uh, well. Everything okay?"

  "Totally fine," Soren said, leaning against Lucas and slipping his hand into Lucas's back pocket. Lucas made a low grunt, inaudible to anyone but Soren, and stroked the skin of Soren's back below his t-shirt. "I got myself checked out that night—well, early next morning—and spent the rest of my time resting at home. Stupid Aaron."

  "You're okay now?" Lisa asked, reaching out a hand as though she wanted to touch Soren and make sure.

  "I'm fine," he said. "Much better now, and I even got to meet Lucas's parents tonight."

  Brandon made choking noises.

  "You met the parents?" Lisa squeaked.

  "This is serious," Brandon said, turning toward Lucas. "Right? Or is he joking around with us?"

  "It really happened."

  "And you're both still standing?" Brandon grinned. "It must be love."

  Soren looked to Lucas with wide eyes, his lips turning up in a smile as Lucas nodded.

  "Yeah," Lucas replied, the surety in his dark eyes letting Soren know Lucas was speaking directly to him. "It's love."

  "Aww." Lisa put her head to the side.

  "So what are you all up to? Pizza and movie night?"

  Brandon grimaced. "There's pizza left if you want it, but we were more having a…a strategy meeting."

  "We're figuring out how to get Jack off the lease," Alec said, rubbing at the back of his head and giving them a rueful grimace.

  "Yeah, I promised Lucas I'd take care of it, because I'm the one who invited him in," Brandon said, trailing off with an awkward expression.

  Lucas drew Soren closer to his side. "Thanks for getting him out."

  Alec shrugged. "It's for us as much as you, man, believe me."

  Soren looked over at Lucas, arching a brow. Lucas's thumb was inscribing slow, heavy circles right above his tailbone. He flexed his hand in Lucas's rear pocket, palming a good handful of ass and making a quiet, interested noise.

  "So we've got to go do some homework!" Lucas said.

  "Yeah, okay," Alec said, smirking and sliding over the couch arm, dumping himself back onto the nearest cushion.

  Brandon Lisa both rolled their eyes.

  "Try not to do the homework too loud, all right?" Lisa said. "We'll turn our movie up several notches."

  Soren flushed and leaned against Lucas as Lucas shifted his grip to steer them past the kitchen and the study-area workstations, down the long hall lined with bedrooms. It was embarrassing but there was no way everyone wouldn't know what they were doing, no matter what excuse they gave.

  "Brilliant," Soren muttered as they headed for their bedroom. Lucas's hand was between his shirt and pants now, caressing the skin of his hip and it was making Soren ache with need. It had been days since they had done this. He wanted more right now; he wanted everything.

  "I'm pretty sure most of my blood flow is situated in my pants right now," Lucas murmured, leaning over to nip Soren's ear. "You're lucky I was capable of speech, let alone giving them some kind of pretext."

  "Which none of them bought."

  They stopped outside of Lucas's door and Lucas disentangled from him, palming Soren's shoulders to square off with him face to face.

  "Hey," Lucas said, his expression gentle. "We don't have to—"

  Soren huffed softly. "It's embarrassing, but…with them out there, for this…" He planted a soft kiss on Lucas's lips, drawing back when Lucas would have pursued it. "It's a little awkward, that's all. I mean, we can still mess around. But just, you know, it's a big step."

  "It's all right," Lucas said, smiling at him. "We're going to have your place all to ourselves week after next…we're going to have so much honeymoon sex…"

  "Oh my God, we are," Soren said, putting a pre-emptive hand to his own butt.

  "Come here," Lucas whispered, cupping Soren's face between his hands and reeling him in.

  The touch of his lips was the barest brush at first, their connection more an outpouring of breath than warm skin against skin. Soren lifted his chin, lips parting. Lucas kissed him again, more firm about it as he played his hands carefully, so carefully past Soren's cheekbones, beyond the hinges of his jaw to cup the base of his neck.

  Many things could be transmitted by touch, a single kiss. From this, Soren could impart how much Lucas loved him.

  *~*~*

  Soren stared ahead at the green grass ahead of him, barely seeing the postcard-pretty scene of campus as he absorbed what he was being told. "Really? Okay…wow…wow…that's incredible. Thanks, Dad. No, you're right, I'm glad you called me right away. This is really, really good news."

  He hung his
phone up and slipped it into his pocket while he continued to stare at the campus, absent-minded. He remained like that for long moments until a slim figure stopped beside him and waved a hand before his eyes.

  Soren jumped a little, and focused on Sloane. "Oh, hey! I'm not late, I was on my way."

  "I figured!" Sloane said, giving him a cheerful grin. "You were zoning out, though. Everything okay?"

  Soren nodded. "I'll say. They're more than okay! Things are great."

  "That's effusive. Let's get set up in the café; sound good?"

  Soren nodded and hitched his backpack higher on his shoulder. He'd kept his word to Sloane and set up some time to study with her, and he was glad for the opportunity to catch up, as well. There were some questions he had for Sloane, and he hoped she'd be receptive.

  Inside, they ordered drinks for themselves and found a table in the popular study hangout, a small miracle in and of itself. There were people who camped for hours, and turnover at the tables was low. Students tended to order a steady stream of drinks and sometimes two meals per stay, though, so the camping was tolerated. Soren didn't plan to be there nearly so long. After studying with Sloane, he had a hot date with Lucas.

  Soren put his drink down and pulled his books out, grinning at Sloane as she slid into a seat across from him.

  "What's up?" Sloane asked, turning expectant eyes on him.

  "Big news. Got a call from my dad on the way over, and it turns out the store is pressing assault charges against Aaron."

  "Oh, I figured," Sloane said, her mouth tipping up in a roguish smile.

  "You figured…So what's your news, then?"

  Sloane propped her pixie chin on both hands and rolled her lips between her teeth, looking innocent. "No, no, you were saying…?"

  Soren gave her a mock-annoyed look. "No, that's it. What have you got?"

  Sloane's face broadened into a grin. She dug her phone out, turned it on, and slid it around to Soren's side of the table. "You're going to love this."

  Soren nodded, already becoming absorbed in the display. He began reading and his eyes widened. A few sentences in, he snorted. "Is this real?" he asked, looking up at Sloane. It was a Facebook post from one of their co-workers.

  "Yep," Sloane replied, popping the 'p' with apparent relish. She put her elbows on the table and grinned over at him. "Aaron's parents came to get him, all the way from Bend. They brought a U-Haul. They're taking him right back to Bend. How embarrassing is that?"